People can be anyone, anything online.....you NEVER KNOW.

[carolina]

I have an issue.... I have a tendency to trust people. To empathize with people.
I spend a long time here at TCS, and I truly, truly Care about the people and cats here. Some become friends, some become family..... I have met many around the country, spent Holidays with some, had some great time overall.
I have cried when kitties passed, got seriously mad with plenty of people and got in trouble for saying the truth a few times because I CARE.
Unfortunately it seems that some people thrive on this caring by others, and attention, and will do whatever it takes, sparing no expenses and suffering, being of the members, cats, or whoever is involved in order to get a bit of attention.
And once they get that attention, it is a rush. They thrive on it. They do it again.
People can be anyone online.
They can reinvent themselves to be whoever they want to be..... And it is sickening how far they go on that persona...... For no apparent reason :dk:
Luckily in person I have only met amazing people here from TCS.... People who I Care and love like family :heart3:

Recent events made me want to post this..... It is a reminder for myself and a warning to others.... Remember that.

 

[AbbysMom]

Thanks for posting this very important reminder. :nod:

Unfortunately we've had issues like this on TCS. . I'm sure some of our older members remember one very public incident. We've also had some smaller not as public incidents. .

 

[misty8723]

That's a very good reminder. I'm guilty of taking everyone at face value, for the most part.  I guess because I don't lie or make things up, or come on here looking for sympathy, I can't imagine anyone else doing it either. 

 

[natalie_ca]

Thanks for posting this very important reminder.

Unfortunately we've had issues like this on TCS.

. I'm sure some of our older members remember one very public incident. We've also had some smaller not as public incidents.

.

We've had a couple that I know of, but I think the one you are referring to was heart breakingly tragic.  And the worse part is that it was a several month long con; to what end, I don't even know, other than to cause grief and heartache.

I have an issue.... I have a tendency to trust people. To empathize with people.
I spend a long time here at TCS, and I truly, truly Care about the people and cats here. Some become friends, some become family..... I have met many around the country, spent Holidays with some, had some great time overall.
I have cried when kitties passed, got seriously mad with plenty of people and got in trouble for saying the truth a few times because I CARE.
Unfortunately it seems that some people thrive on this caring by others, and attention, and will do whatever it takes, sparing no expenses and suffering, being of the members, cats, or whoever is involved in order to get a bit of attention.
And once they get that attention, it is a rush. They thrive on it. They do it again.
People can be anyone online.
They can reinvent themselves to be whoever they want to be..... And it is sickening how far they go on that persona...... For no apparent reason

Luckily in person I have only met amazing people here from TCS.... People who I Care and love like family

Recent events made me want to post this..... It is a reminder for myself and a warning to others.... Remember that.

I'm sorry that you had such an experience.  When I was in the gaming community, I had several such encounters. It's rather sad that people are so unhappy in their lives that they have to invent completely different personnas online in order to feel worthy.

I saw an episode on Dr. Phil where people were involved romantically with someone online, that turned out to be what is called a 'catfish'; someone totally fake.

 

[ldg]

Thank you, Carolina, for this very important reminder.

I tend to trust too much too. :nod:

 

[-_aj_-]

I know this all to well being on here and being on Car sites also, people with nothing to do other than be a "keyboard warrior" its a nice reminder thanks

 

[auroraei]

Thanks for posting this very important reminder.

Unfortunately we've had issues like this on TCS.

. I'm sure some of our older members remember one very public incident. We've also had some smaller not as public incidents.

.

Woah woah woah what? Someone here pretended to be someone else? On a cat forum? Wow.....

 

[AbbysMom]

Yes, it happens everywhere on the Internet. :nod: Some people are very good at it and can spin a very convincing tale that will sway even the most suspicious person.

 

[mani]

It makes sense... the internet is open to absolutely everyone with a computer.

I haven't been here anywhere near as long as most of you, but I've seen things that looked iffy.. sometimes I think that kids are just doing a wind-up.  But you're obviously thinking of things that go on much more than that.. a bit psychotic.

Thanks Carolina, for the warning.. it's always good to be on one's toes

 

[AbbysMom]

I should also mention that if anyone is ever suspicious of a member, please don't hesitate to report it. We can't tell you what we find, but we will definitely look into it.

 

[natalie_ca]

Woah woah woah what? Someone here pretended to be someone else? On a cat forum? Wow.....

Yes. In summary:

- girl and guy (engaged I think)

- girl is is pregnant

- girl posts pics of herself in various stages of pregnancy

- guy gets into serious accident and nearly dies

- girl ends up hemorrhaging somehow and has to have emergency surgery

- baby is taken early by C-Section

- girl never wakes up from surgery so she never sees her baby

- guy posts pictures of the premature baby being held by various people in a hospital room, with all kinds of flowers in the pictures

- guy keeps posting here with updates on the situation

- compassionate members try to find out where baby is so they can send flowers/gifts

Somehow someone did some sleuthing and called the girl's cell phone, only to have HER answer the phone. I can't remember all of the rest.  But this went on for months and months. I have no idea what their end motive was.

 

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by Mani  

things that go on much more than that.. a bit psychotic.

Back in 2000 when I got my first computer, I was in MSN Chat rooms a great deal.  There were so many fakes. One that stands out is a girl who claimed to be from New York. She said she was single, blonde, blue eyed, and worked in a law firm.  One guy I had gotten to know though the chat room said that was nowhere near where she lived or what her life was like.  He worked as a police officer and knew her because they apparently lived in the same city.  She was black, with 3 or 4  kids, didn't finish high school and was a stay at home Mom.  She was horrified that I had struck up a conversation with the guy because she knew that her fake personna would be ultimately revealed.

And then there was the computer game I was involved in.  The game characters are male or female, and a large number of males played female characters because the female characters tended to be treated more kindly in the game.  My best friend in the game was a guy who was playing a female character when I met him, and it was he who explained why many guys did that.  And some carry that personna off line. 

 

[Winchester]

Yes. In summary:

- girl and guy (engaged I think)

- girl is is pregnant

- girl posts pics of herself in various stages of pregnancy

- guy gets into serious accident and nearly dies

- girl ends up hemorrhaging somehow and has to have emergency surgery

- baby is taken early by C-Section

- girl never wakes up from surgery so she never sees her baby

- guy posts pictures of the premature baby being held by various people in a hospital room, with all kinds of flowers in the pictures

- guy keeps posting here with updates on the situation

- compassionate members try to find out where baby is so they can send flowers/gifts

Somehow someone did some sleuthing and called the girl's cell phone, only to have HER answer the phone. I can't remember all of the rest.  But this went on for months and months. I have no idea what their end motive was.

That must have been before my time.....I don't remember it. Good grief.

 

[auroraei]

Yes. In summary:

- girl and guy (engaged I think)

- girl is is pregnant

- girl posts pics of herself in various stages of pregnancy

- guy gets into serious accident and nearly dies

- girl ends up hemorrhaging somehow and has to have emergency surgery

- baby is taken early by C-Section

- girl never wakes up from surgery so she never sees her baby

- guy posts pictures of the premature baby being held by various people in a hospital room, with all kinds of flowers in the pictures

- guy keeps posting here with updates on the situation

- compassionate members try to find out where baby is so they can send flowers/gifts

Somehow someone did some sleuthing and called the girl's cell phone, only to have HER answer the phone. I can't remember all of the rest.  But this went on for months and months. I have no idea what their end motive was.

Omg! Were the pictures at least real? Like did someone look them up to see if they had been circulating the internet before?

 

[AbbysMom]

That incident happened so long ago, and we don't know what parts were truth, partial truth, or total fiction, that I don't think every detail needs to be dredged up right now. . The important message here is what Carolina posted in the first post. Not everything and everybody is what they seem. :nod:

 

[swampwitch]

It's a real challenge, too, to safely raise a teenager in these days of social media. Teens are inexperienced and trusting, by nature they are looking for approval, and predators know all that. 

One "friend of a friend" that our daughter wanted to add on facebook was really suspicious-looking to me; she wanted to add this "friend" although they had never met. (We have a rule she can only add people she has met in person.) I did some investigating and I'm 99% sure it's not even a real person. I also found this person's tumblr blog and he/she posts some pretty nasty stuff. So you have to wonder why this person, who is misrepresenting him/herself, wants to get to know a 14-year-old girl. It gets pretty creepy sometimes.

I've known of at least 3 "fakes" here on TCS.

 

[catsallaround]

That is scary about the facebook fake!  I am 30 and I had one friend who got away with alot.  She used to meet people off the web.  I always thought how is it possible that time and again no one noticed. Her dad was home or doing repairs in the driveway.  She had some struggles but turned out ok.  It is amazing how she is with her kids as she realized the mistakes her parents made.

The computer in the home/kids having their own certainly changed the risks.  The constant supply of kids willing to take a risk they may not face to face is tempting to these no gooders online

 

[swampwitch]

The computer in the home/kids having their own certainly changed the risks.  The constant supply of kids willing to take a risk they may not face to face is tempting to these no gooders online

The internet is mobile and a constant companion for them - they access it with their DS's, cell phones, iPods, iPads... they can also get online with TVs and gaming consoles. When daughter brings new friends over, first thing they ask is for our wifi password. 

 

[feralvr]

Carolina, I know what you are talking about. And I will say, but not always, I have a sense to be able to pinpoint people such as you describe. Not always, though. Since joining TCS, and you all probably are sick of hearing this.... but.... I was never on the computer. I was constantly working with the horses, dogs/cats, etc. Had no time. TCS was a new wonderful addition to my life and I never, ever thought I could possibly make such great friends that have become like family to me on the internet!!! Sometimes, I trust way too easily and get burned/shocked and caught off guard. Have to say, though, the ones I have let in have been just as trustworthy as me. Thank Goodness. Good that you posted this because it comes with a heavy heart and an even heavier reality to be aware of.

 

[feralvr]

That is scary about the facebook fake!

TCS is as far as I will go into the internet world. I refuse to FB (or any of those other what-ya-ma-call-it sites) for more reasons than one. Part of me is resisting all of this technology but I know it is the wave of the future and how many people communicate now.