Parting Ways With The Babies

[bulldog232004]

hello everyone,

I feel really heart broken at the moment and also had a question that maybe you all could possibly answer for me.

Back in October I rescued 3 baby kittens that were probably about 2 weeks old. Brought them home and started bottle feeding and taking care of them. A day or 2 later, we caught feral momma cat and put them all into the bathroom and as soon as momma calmed down she took her babies back and started caring for them again.

Long story short, I grew extremely attached to the little buggers and really bonded with them. Unfortunately, my SO is not as crazy about cats as I am and he pushed and said it was time to part ways with them so that they could find homes. Last week, we brought them to our local humane society and I spent the whole day in tears... feeling like I seriously lost a loved one.

Well today, I decided to go see them because I just really miss them and I never had the chance to say good-bye. The humane society said they don’t allow people to come in and see the cats and/or kittens that they give to them. Does that sound correct? Do all humane societies operate that way? I’ve never experienced that before and wanted to get any input to what you all know or think. I feel even worse now that I know I can’t see them.
They allowed me this once to see them as I practically begged and those little buggers came right out of hiding when I called to them. The people said that they have been doing nothing but hiding but they came right out and started playing for me. Even purred and started crying.

In short, I just want to know if all humane societies say that.

 

[trudy1]

Most humane society’s around that are no kill require to sign a forfeit waiver giving away all rights to them but I’ve never heard of not being able to view or have contact with them just as if you were a potential adopter.

Sorry you were made to do that to your babies. Everything you do in life is a matter of choices but I also believe they should be your own.

Hope they get adopted.

 

[Willowy]

At the Humane Society here, they don't let anyone see the animals until they've filled out an adoption form and have been approved. They said they were tired of people using them as a free petting zoo :/. So it's not too unusual I guess.

 

[bulldog232004]

Yeah, this was my first time giving any animal up to the humane society and I never thought it would be a problem to visit them at least once a week until they were adopted. They mentioned that it was too hard on the kittens to see someone that they knew, which I guess I can understand but at the same time, you think that it would help bring them out of their shells a bit more. If I wanted to go hang out with the other cats they have, that wouldn’t be a problem but because I basically raised these 3, I can’t see them? If my vet had room for them, they would be all for letting me visit them... I’m just blown backwards. They were my joy when they were here, and I’m having a hard time coping with them being gone.. not by my choice... but I wish I would have known they wouldn’t allow me to visit them. Thank you guys for your replies.. I just never heard anything like that before

 

[houseofnine]

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. We found a semiferal mom & 3 kittens in our yard back in June, brought everybody in, vetted everybody. We already had 9 resident cats at that point in a 1600 sq ft ranch. So we fostered the family..lucky for me, I work with someone who's become a good friend. She loves cats and is a responsible pet owner, with the bonus of having done pre-vet in college. So she took 2 of the kittens, and we kept mom & 1 baby. Hubs and I were absolutely sobbing when we handed them over. It was SO hard, even when going to a wonderful home where they'd be kept indoors and safe. We got to visit them a couple months ago..the girl had forgotten us, but the more outgoing boy remembered us and came out of hiding for head-butts. =)
are you sure you can't talk your SO into adopting them back?
Anyway--you're not alone and try to feel better knowing you did a great thing in giving them a good start in life.

 

[bulldog232004]

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. We found a semiferal mom & 3 kittens in our yard back in June, brought everybody in, vetted everybody. We already had 9 resident cats at that point in a 1600 sq ft ranch. So we fostered the family..lucky for me, I work with someone who's become a good friend. She loves cats and is a responsible pet owner, with the bonus of having done pre-vet in college. So she took 2 of the kittens, and we kept mom & 1 baby. Hubs and I were absolutely sobbing when we handed them over. It was SO hard, even when going to a wonderful home where they'd be kept indoors and safe. We got to visit them a couple months ago..the girl had forgotten us, but the more outgoing boy remembered us and came out of hiding for head-butts. =)
are you sure you can't talk your SO into adopting them back?
Anyway--you're not alone and try to feel better knowing you did a great thing in giving them a good start in life.

I would have to say, you are very lucky that your husband is a cat lover as well. My SO says he likes cats and now we or I have 4.. but every time we rescue kittens, he acts like he hates them and will get extremely angry with me if they are kept for too long. I’ve fostered other cats and kittens before and always end up in an argument down the road.. but it was different with these 3 little babies. I think my bond went way deeper because I helped bottle feed them. And the fact that they were always so excited to see me. Unfortunately, I can’t talk him into adopting them back because as hurt as I am for letting them go, he won’t even ask how I’m doing and when I went to visit them for the last time, he didn’t bother to ask how they are... I’m angry with him, and resenting him at the moment because he can be so cruel and cold. I’m not going to turn this into a relationship problem on a cat site lol. But I miss them so much, my heart hurts and I feel desperate to get them back. I do wish someone in my family would have took them so at least I could see them as they grow up. I feel just disgusted by the humane society for telling me I can’t see them... I appreciate your response!

 

[houseofnine]

This makes me sad for you. Any chance you would have a friend who would adopt them? "Visitation Rights!"
Yeah, I am lucky. Money is tight, but there's never a dull moment at home. I grew up with dogs who got most of the attention and the cats were second class citizens. Now hubs and I joke about how outnumbered we are. The latest feral is probably plotting our demise.
Try to get comfort from knowing you raised them well..but try to get a friend to take them!

 

[trudy1]

Ok here I go...soapbox just like I would my daughter...I’m an old man so you can always say crazy BUT what I read into your correspondence with words like “extremely angry “, “cold and cruel “ and “won’t even ask how I’m doing” causes me to raise the specter of “relationship problem”. Yes I am commenting on a situation I have only circumspect knowledge of BUT:

As Dr. Phil says “ you teach people how to treat you” and this boy has been taught all wrong! It appears he has a “heart issue” from your description.

Life and the quality of it is all a matter of choices and unless he has some other outstanding, redeeming, godlike qualities I believe you should go back and get the cats and consider “parting ways” with him instead.

Now I’m getting off my “dad soapbox” and letting you folks have your way with the above.

Enuf said.

 

[bulldog232004]

Ok here I go...soapbox just like I would my daughter...I’m an old man so you can always say crazy BUT what I read into your correspondence with words like “extremely angry “, “cold and cruel “ and “won’t even ask how I’m doing” causes me to raise the specter of “relationship problem”. Yes I am commenting on a situation I have only circumspect knowledge of BUT:

As Dr. Phil says “ you teach people how to treat you” and this boy has been taught all wrong! It appears he has a “heart issue” from your description.

Life and the quality of it is all a matter of choices and unless he has some other outstanding, redeeming, godlike qualities I believe you should go back and get the cats and consider “parting ways” with him instead.

Now I’m getting off my “dad soapbox” and letting you folks have your way with the above.

Enuf said.

You are 100% right and I really appreciate your input on this. Unfortunately, I fall under what a lot of women fall under sometimes, which is, at this very moment I cannot support myself alone. I don’t currently make enough to live by myself in california (thats where I live), in the future, yes but at this very moment, no. And after what conspired between us after parting ways with those little “kids”, I was ready to part ways and walk out and go retrieve those little ones.. but my hands are tied and my heart is shattered. So, as a Christian I have to learn how to forgive him after everything and the way he treated me and reacted towards them...

Thank you for your words! They were very spot on... just wish my own circumstances were better because I would be gone and happily living with those sweet babies I didn’t want to give up but forced to. I find lots of tears these days. And feel the sense of desperation!
Heck, I wish my family was able to take them at least so that I could see them often and know they are in the right hands.. but unfortunately not.

Just kinda mad at everyone right now.. the humane society as well, for not allowing me to see them once a week until they are adopted. I just feel awful and broke.

I appreciate your “dad soapbox”.

 

[trudy1]

So the future holds promise? Great sooner than better! I hate abuse of any kind, mental or physical and yes you are to forgive if someone wrongs you BUT....he as your mate/partner/so or what ever you choose to call him has a role too. If he doesn’t make any attempt to meet those guidelines, well I won’t go on here. As a Christian you should know all the stuff about unequally yoked so no need to “dad you” about that.

Sometime you need to pm me so we can talk.

I take it since your family won’t help you with those babies that helping you is out too?

I’m sure there are others on this forum in similar circumstances who might reach out to you as well, that is my hope.

Change is always hard but sometimes cleansing.

But my real hope and prayer is that find an alternative to your life .

BTW can you find someone to go in and check on your babies?

Please keep me posted.