Overwhelmed by sudden change in cats' behaviour

[AstroAnnie]

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice.

We adopted a very sweet pair of (at the time) three year old cats from our local shelter back in 2019. They were brother and sister and unfortunately, the sister passed away a while ago. It took my partner and I quite some time to deal with the grief, but as far as I could tell our cat seemed to deal okay with the loss (no change in behaviour or anything like that). Still, we wanted to get a second cat again so he could have some company, to play and be social with. We adopted a young cat from a couple last year, as we felt the time was right and the cat would've gone to the shelter if no one took it in.

It was a bit of adjustment for our household, but the two cats get along alright despite the age difference (7 years vs 1.5).

Recently (this has been going on for about 5 weeks now) their behaviour has changed quite drastically though and I don't know how to cope anymore. Obviously cats will meow to communicate with their humans and that's perfectly fine. Both of them have suddenly adopted a habit of waking us up during the night by screaming/crying very loud. The younger cat will come into the bedroom and yell right into my ear, while the older cat will go to a different room to be vocal.

We got them both checked by the vet and they are fine medically. There have been no changes in their environment in regards to the layout/places of furniture in the flat. They have access to food 24/7 and eat regularly. They get at least an hour of play time every day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Due to where we live, they are indoor cats with access to our balcony (which is appropriately secured).

It's starting to wear both my partner and I thin to not be able to sleep - we've both been getting only around 5 hours of sleep per night due to the meowing. I feel terrible about not being able to fulfill a need they (the cats) clearly have, because we can't identify what is going on. My mental health is suffering because of the lack of sleep and the weight of suddenly not being able to be a proper cat parent is adding to that.

Any ideas would be most welcome. Thank you for reading.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. If there have been no recent changes in the home environment and no food changes, then I would tend to think there is something going on outside your home that has riled up either one or both of your cats. It is likely that one cat is getting worked up and is causing the other cat to react. The most common scenario is other cats, or critters, roaming about at night and your cats can sense them.

What is the setup of your home and balcony, where other animals could be around the area causing the havoc with your cats?

There is almost always a reason for a behavioral change, and it is important to see if you can find out what the problem is in the hopes of correcting it.

 

[Kris107]

My question is what do you do when they meow and wake you up? Think of whatever you do as their "reward" for meowing. Do you get up? Do you talk to them? Do you give them any sort of attention? Do you have noise cancelling headphones you can wear? Over the years I have had to wear those (there are good white noise apps!) when I had animals being loud at night. You truly have to act like you're completely deaf and not react whatsoever.

 

[Caspers Human]

When our cats wake us up, in bed, we pat our hand on the mattress and invite them to lay down and snuggle.

If they don't lay down and be quiet they get unceremoniously tossed on the floor.
If they still don't quiet down they get tossed out of the room and the door gets shut.

Our cats will take the invitation to lay down and snuggle virtually every time. I remember tossing Elliot, the younger cat, one or two times. I can't remember tossing Casper, the elder, even once.

I agree with K Kris107 . The way you react to the a cat teaches it how to behave in the future. If the cat thinks it is getting a reward it will keep doing that act.

Casper has been with us for almost ten years, now. He's learned the routine so well that he'll just hop up in bed, lay down next to us and make himself comfy. He has to circle a few times in order to find the right spot but, once he finds it, he lays right down and starts purring.

Elliot has been with us for just about half a year. He's still learning the routine but he's already got the basics.
The first time he annoyed me in bed, I picked him up and put him down on the floor. A moment later, he tried to jump up again but I put my arm out and blocked him like a football player. The next night, he tried the same thing. This time, I made a little nest in the blankets for him to lay in then patted my hand on the bed. I picked Elliot up and put him in the nest and started petting him and talking nice to him. It took him a minute or two to get the idea but he eventually laid down and started purring.

Elliot has already learned the routine, pretty well. He only has the occasional night where he pesters us. Most of the time he just comes over, finds a spot and lays right down. Casper is an old pro, by now. Some nights he doesn't even wake me up, anymore. I'll just wake up and there will be a cat laying next to me. I'll pet him. He'll purr. A few minutes later, I'm falling asleep again.

 

[Alldara]

I have so much empathy for this situation as periodically Magnus does this. I'll just talk about a few reasons and fixes we noted and you can try what feels right to you.

Hunger is sometimes the issue. We started feeding him right before bed. I do a game we call "hunting" with full air quotes when we say it. Basically it's an "easter egg hunt" for kibble for the cats. Keeps them busy and fills them up. However, you could put out food puzzles if you want instead.

Some white noise at night. Our new neighbours have a young child and Magnus can hear him through the walls. If he wakes up and is loud, Magnus wakes up and is loud. This also stopped him waking us up super early in the AM when our neighbour's work time changed and when "stranger cat" was coming around.

Extra playtime before bed, because our government won't get rid of the cursed 'time change".


I'll heavily note that ignoring a cat does not solve the problem for all cats, even if you are truly ignoring the cat and giving no response.
Laying there and doing nothing, yes confirmed actually nothing did not help in any way. He would just engage in increasingly dangerous or annoying behaviour until you got up, including breaking multiple types of child locks, body slamming the door repeatedly, trying to purposely get himself stuck behind the bed and under the dresser, leaf eating and knocking plants over and knocking over furniture. Ignoring Magnus does 0 good 100% of the time.