Overthinking - Is it a negative trait?

Graceful-Lily

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I'm starting this thread to get external opinions on something that has been presenting itself in my life quite frequently.

It seems to always be a problem to everyone except for me.

OVERTHINKING!

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Yes! I have a very active imagination but I've learned to control it so that it doesn't affect my day to day life.

I tend to be more organized than the average person and like when things are consistent, clear, and straight to the point.

I also tend to analyze situations excessively because I enjoy planning and exploring every possible outcome in my head.

Yet, in my dating life and also just my life life in general, people always tell me that I think too much.

"You're thinking wayyyy too much!"
"You overthink too much!"
"It's not that serious, relax. You are overthinking."


Is this a negative trait to have? I would say that it is kind of intertwined with my personality type and I feel it is something that cannot be helped.

What do you guys think?

I would also like to know if there are other things (that you have experienced) that people often see as a negative attribute when to you, it is completely normal.
 

les26

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I think it is a good trait as long as it doesn't go off too far lol! I am the same way, and when I explain things I like to go into as much detail as I can so that everyone fully understands what I am talking about. I coach U-12 soccer so it comes in handy there, but I have been told by people on more than one occasion that I "say too much", I "give too many details" but I tend to notice that the people who are saying that to me seem to either be super stressed out and/or they have the attention span of a 5 year old lol! So sometimes I drag it out even further just for fun!!!
 

Kieka

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Have you ever watched the Good Place? One of the characters is an overthinker to the point he basically didn't live and impacted the lives of people around him.

I'm an overthinker too and often find myself questioning decisions or replaying conversations. It helps in my work as an analyst and you could say I am perfectly designed for the type of work I do. Since I am always questioning choices and looking at possible outcomes. But it is important to not let the overthinking prevent you from making choices or stop you from enjoying things. Balance.
 

Jem

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I think it all depends on what you overthink about. If having a backup plan (or 2 or 3...), and making lists so you don't forget anything, and so on, makes you feel better and more prepared then I think that's great...(I'm the same way;)) But then there is the other side of "overthinking", like you feel tired one day and you mind starts to whirl around and your conclusion is you have cancer.
It's one thing to be prepared for a "worst case scenario" but if you live you life in fear of the worst case and expect the worst case ALL the time, that negative thinking is not healthy.
So as I said, I'm a bit of an over thinker and planner, but for me it's about practicality, and I don't think it's negative but I also don't take things to extremes.
Another trait that can sometimes be seen as negative is stubbornness. And I'll fully admit, I'm a mule! :lol: But as stubborn as I am, I am still open minded, I like to learn new things, I am caring and helpful among other (good) things...For me, being stubborn, is more positive than negative, but I guess it depends to the type of person who is stubborn. Stubbornness, (for me) is intertwined with loyalty, being hardworking and dedicated...those are good things right? Other things that I'm a bit stubborn on, like how the laundry should be done, only impacts me, because I choose to do the laundry and don't tell others how to do it "my" way. If a new way of doing a task presents itself to me and it makes sense them I can change, but it has to be effective. I don't like change for the sake of change (if it ain't broke...), but welcome change for the better...does that make sense?
 

susanm9006

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I don’t think overthinking is in itself a bad thing. But obsessing about what might go wrong or about negative things can negatively affect your mood or outlook. I mean if you are planning a trip and spends hours planning out every detail, that is entirely different then spending your time and stressing out thinking about everything that could go wrong in the trip.
 
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Graceful-Lily

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I think it is a good trait as long as it doesn't go off too far lol! I am the same way, and when I explain things I like to go into as much detail as I can so that everyone fully understands what I am talking about. I coach U-12 soccer so it comes in handy there, but I have been told by people on more than one occasion that I "say too much", I "give too many details" but I tend to notice that the people who are saying that to me seem to either be super stressed out and/or they have the attention span of a 5 year old lol! So sometimes I drag it out even further just for fun!!!
That's interesting that you bring up your coaching because when I ask this question, I was thinking along the lines of future goals. For example, lets say I wanted to start a small business. Would it be wrong to plan and "overthink" things? I mean, starting up a whole company I feel would require a lot of thinking and planning.

I asked someone about this just today and they brushed me off and told me that I am overthinking by planning my future and knowing what I want. I've also had someone tell me that it's silly for me to plan for my future now and know what I want out of life. It's not like I obsess over the plan or feel that it needs to be followed 100% but I have an idea of which direction I'd like things to take and if they don't, I'll just work my way around them.

Have you ever watched the Good Place? One of the characters is an overthinker to the point he basically didn't live and impacted the lives of people around him.

I'm an overthinker too and often find myself questioning decisions or replaying conversations. It helps in my work as an analyst and you could say I am perfectly designed for the type of work I do. Since I am always questioning choices and looking at possible outcomes. But it is important to not let the overthinking prevent you from making choices or stop you from enjoying things. Balance.
Heard of it? I have watched all the seasons lol. Love it! Yes, Chidi Anagonye is his name. My decision making isn't to that extreme but he is definitely a good example of how overthinking can be a very bad thing is simple/not-so-serious situations.

I agree as well, balance is certainly key.

I think it all depends on what you overthink about. If having a backup plan (or 2 or 3...), and making lists so you don't forget anything, and so on, makes you feel better and more prepared then I think that's great...(I'm the same way;)) But then there is the other side of "overthinking", like you feel tired one day and you mind starts to whirl around and your conclusion is you have cancer.
It's one thing to be prepared for a "worst case scenario" but if you live you life in fear of the worst case and expect the worst case ALL the time, that negative thinking is not healthy.
So as I said, I'm a bit of an over thinker and planner, but for me it's about practicality, and I don't think it's negative but I also don't take things to extremes.
Another trait that can sometimes be seen as negative is stubbornness. And I'll fully admit, I'm a mule! :lol: But as stubborn as I am, I am still open minded, I like to learn new things, I am caring and helpful among other (good) things...For me, being stubborn, is more positive than negative, but I guess it depends to the type of person who is stubborn. Stubbornness, (for me) is intertwined with loyalty, being hardworking and dedicated...those are good things right? Other things that I'm a bit stubborn on, like how the laundry should be done, only impacts me, because I choose to do the laundry and don't tell others how to do it "my" way. If a new way of doing a task presents itself to me and it makes sense them I can change, but it has to be effective. I don't like change for the sake of change (if it ain't broke...), but welcome change for the better...does that make sense?
Yes, what you said makes sense to me. It depends on how you are stubborn. Just like it depends on how you overthink and what you overthink about.

I am stubborn too in the sense that I like things a particular way and if I want something, I'm more likely to go for it and stick it out until I see that dream/goal fulfilled.

I don't think it's a bad thing. Unless you worry about what might happen, But it's brilliant for planning holidays and outings.
Worrying about what might happen can lead to anticipation anxiety.

If you're prone to anxiety like I am, it can be a bad thing.
I agree. That and OCD. I find my OCD is worse when things are out of my control and I'm constantly thinking about what can be done to fix it or how it can be changed. It can become a vicious cycle.

I don’t think overthinking is in itself a bad thing. But obsessing about what might go wrong or about negative things can negatively affect your mood or outlook. I mean if you are planning a trip and spends hours planning out every detail, that is entirely different then spending your time and stressing out thinking about everything that could go wrong in the trip.
I agree. Going back to what I said above, this can lead to anticipation anxiety. It's when the likelihood of something happening stresses you out. For example, let's say you made plans to go to festival with friends. Planning the trip might cause severe anxiety before it actually happens because you'll be thinking about every little thing that might happen when you are at the festival.
 

denice

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I think it is a matter of balance. When it becomes obsessive and leads to inaction because of overthinking then it is a bad thing. The other extreme isn't good either. People who are impulsive and never think things through before acting just careen from one crisis to the next.
 
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