Our Greta Crossed the Bridge

homoki2002

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Our baby Greta crossed the bridge about two weeks ago and I can't stop crying. How do you ever get better?
 

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I am so sorry for your loss! Losing a beloved part of the family is definitely the hardest part of pet parenthood. We had to put my childhood cat down in September and I am still not over the loss. My best advice is to talk to your loved ones or other people who have been through the same life expierance. I have only been a member here for an hour and I can already say that the people here are genuinely caring people who all love kitties. I hope you can find comfort here!
 

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It takes a long time to get to a place where you are not constantly letting your mind go over every little detail and driving yourself crazy with grief. You never 'get over' something like this, you learn to live with it. I can promise you it DOES get better, for some it is relatively soon, like in months, with others, like me, it takes years.
It does help to keep busy, to not let your grief take over your life. Be kind to yourself, you lost someone you love dearly and there is a huge hole in your heart and your life.
Time is the only thing that helps, it will dull the sharp edges of grief eventually, and when you realize that love is spiritual and so eternal, you will know your sweet Greta is as close as your thoughts and prayers. Nothing, not even death, can break a bond as strong as the one you have with her. "Death cannot take that which never dies".
One thing that helped me was to go to my local shelter and pay for the adoption of the cat that had been there the longest to try to bring a little happiness to one who deserved it. And I did it in my little one's name, crying the whole time. They cried with me. I still do this several times a year years later. Giving a gift of cat food, or toys, or your time to socialize kittens would be appreciated too. Bringing happiness to another gives a little of your life back. It helps to fill that gaping hole.....
No one in the whole world loved that little girl in the same way you do. So no one else can completely understand what you are going through. We can empathize because we have lost little ones too, we know the pain and what it does to your world.
It does help to let another little one into your heart. It would add on to Greta's love, reside beside it, never replacing it because that is not possible, but each and every love is unique and precious, like a mother's love for every child. Greta would be honored to know she showed you what love was like and you would share her love with another. The distraction this would bring is a welcome thing to a grieving heart.
Just try to remember, you may have lost that precious girl from your physical world, but her love will ALWAYS be a part of your soul. There are no truer words than "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
My heart goes out to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you both. Please know I feel your pain and want you to take care. .....RIP sweet Greta. You will always be missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter how much time we get with them, it never seems like enough. That's how much of an impact they have on our lives and in our hearts. di and bob di and bob is right. You never get over it. With time, the pain will lessen and you will find that thinking of her will make you smile more often than it makes you cry. Her place in your heart is forever as is yours in hers.

Death is not an ending. I like to compare it more to a pause button. Animals have pure souls and those souls live on. You will see her again when the time is right and your friendship will pick up like nothing ever happened. She will be just as thrilled to see you as you will be to see her. In the meantime, you need to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself because that's what she'd want. She'd want you to smile again.

I also agree with di and bob di and bob about helping out at a local shelter or rescue. I also have paid the adoption fee on older cats or cats who have been at a shelter a long time in memory of my late boy. Donating food, toys, treats, etc helps too and Greta would approve. That's a lovely way to honor her memory. :hugs: :rbheart:
 

betsygee

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I'm so sorry. It's hard to lose one of our beloved companions. We have a thread here with some reading suggestions that may help.

My heart goes out to you. Rest in peace, little Greta. :rbheart:
 
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homoki2002

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It takes a long time to get to a place where you are not constantly letting your mind go over every little detail and driving yourself crazy with grief. You never 'get over' something like this, you learn to live with it. I can promise you it DOES get better, for some it is relatively soon, like in months, with others, like me, it takes years.
It does help to keep busy, to not let your grief take over your life. Be kind to yourself, you lost someone you love dearly and there is a huge hole in your heart and your life.
Time is the only thing that helps, it will dull the sharp edges of grief eventually, and when you realize that love is spiritual and so eternal, you will know your sweet Greta is as close as your thoughts and prayers. Nothing, not even death, can break a bond as strong as the one you have with her. "Death cannot take that which never dies".
One thing that helped me was to go to my local shelter and pay for the adoption of the cat that had been there the longest to try to bring a little happiness to one who deserved it. And I did it in my little one's name, crying the whole time. They cried with me. I still do this several times a year years later. Giving a gift of cat food, or toys, or your time to socialize kittens would be appreciated too. Bringing happiness to another gives a little of your life back. It helps to fill that gaping hole.....
No one in the whole world loved that little girl in the same way you do. So no one else can completely understand what you are going through. We can empathize because we have lost little ones too, we know the pain and what it does to your world.
It does help to let another little one into your heart. It would add on to Greta's love, reside beside it, never replacing it because that is not possible, but each and every love is unique and precious, like a mother's love for every child. Greta would be honored to know she showed you what love was like and you would share her love with another. The distraction this would bring is a welcome thing to a grieving heart.
Just try to remember, you may have lost that precious girl from your physical world, but her love will ALWAYS be a part of your soul. There are no truer words than "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
My heart goes out to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you both. Please know I feel your pain and want you to take care. .....RIP sweet Greta. You will always be missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
Thank you SO much for your reply. I know the pain will never go away but will lessen in time. Right now there are so many silly things that set off a crying binge. I expect to see her in the hallway. She always came in and slept with my hubby every night. All her meds I did at the kitchen counter. It hurts to use that counter. Although I've put away (not thrown) away her things, I still visualize her toys and food in the livingroom. One of the worst is when we come home from being at the store or something. The first thing we'd do was see where she was. Now we come home to nothingness. That's one of the worst for me. We ALWAYS considered her first above anything and now that's gone. It is so comforting to hear from you (and I know it's true but it's good to hear) that in time it will get better. Like you, I think this will take years. Some days I feel like I'm making progress and then the next I'm not. One step forward, two steps back.
Paying for the adoption for the oldest pet is awesome! We sometimes do take food or litter to the shelter. I'll think on that one.
We do plan to adopt another fur baby soon. Need to get through this a bit more but it will be within the next month I think. We know that there's another little one out there that needs a home and love and we have some much love to give. Not to replace, but to give love to a new little one.
You are right that time can't erase the love we had. She will be a part of us forever. Your words have been very comforting. Thank you so much for helping me through this broken hearted time.
 
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homoki2002

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I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter how much time we get with them, it never seems like enough. That's how much of an impact they have on our lives and in our hearts. di and bob di and bob is right. You never get over it. With time, the pain will lessen and you will find that thinking of her will make you smile more often than it makes you cry. Her place in your heart is forever as is yours in hers.

Death is not an ending. I like to compare it more to a pause button. Animals have pure souls and those souls live on. You will see her again when the time is right and your friendship will pick up like nothing ever happened. She will be just as thrilled to see you as you will be to see her. In the meantime, you need to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself because that's what she'd want. She'd want you to smile again.

I also agree with di and bob di and bob about helping out at a local shelter or rescue. I also have paid the adoption fee on older cats or cats who have been at a shelter a long time in memory of my late boy. Donating food, toys, treats, etc helps too and Greta would approve. That's a lovely way to honor her memory. :hugs: :rbheart:
Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. You're right. It never seems like enough time. Although she was we believe 15, I honestly believed she'd be with us longer. She took meds and I marked the calendar way ahead on the days her meds were due. Now I see the calendar and cry. I know the pain lessens over time, it did with our past fur baby. But reading things from folks that have been there is so comforting. Not everyone cares that much when this happens...it' just a cat. I couldn't be that way even if I tried! My husband and I love animals and can't imagine that frame of mind.
The shelter idea is a good one. And we do intent to adopt another little girl probably within the next month because we know she won't replace ours, but there are so many that need a home and love.
Am so glad you shared your thoughts with me. Thank you so much.
 

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You will get better in time. It takes longer for some.
But, as a thought: just last morning Grisoo hopped onto my bed saying, meow. (Meaning: hey, what if cats can cross to that place all the time, and when they pass they just can't come back here. And, greetings, he had seen Rascal, and Rascal is doing fine). Grisoo didn't look for Greta since he doesn't know her, and he is not the smartest knife in the drawer to start... but sometimes he has good ideas.
 

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another thought: it is easier if you have another living cat to hug, or three. If Greta was your only cat, you might not be ready to hug someone else. But while she will forever be in your heart, she will want you to consider to eventually giving your love to someone else in need.
 

les26

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I am so sorry for your loss, it is the worst feeling to have your heart broken when they pass, it never gets any easier and we know that they are only here with us for a short time but we still are crushed when their time is up, no amount of years is ever enough, but you loved her and she you and you both knew that, and when you meet again one day it will be tears of joy not sadness and it will be wonderful again.

The homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara helps with grief and loss and sudden shock, it works with you body and has no side effects like drugs do. I use it whenever I am very upset which lately seems to be a lot but it helps with grief and lets you deal with things a bit better. But there is no magic pill, you sadly just have to suffer and endure it, it hurts like hell and you too at times feel as if you might also die and don't half care if you do, but with time and prayers and love and support you WILL heal again and be okay, you will always have the scar on your broken heart but it WILL heal and get better, it takes time though, just let it out, don't try to numb it or ignore it, if it hurts let it hurt, cry, be sad, get mad, do whatever you feel you must do and the poisons will slowly leave your body, but it is so so tough we all know...

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you......:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 
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homoki2002

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You will get better in time. It takes longer for some.
But, as a thought: just last morning Grisoo hopped onto my bed saying, meow. (Meaning: hey, what if cats can cross to that place all the time, and when they pass they just can't come back here. And, greetings, he had seen Rascal, and Rascal is doing fine). Grisoo didn't look for Greta since he doesn't know her, and he is not the smartest knife in the drawer to start... but sometimes he has good ideas.
I think Grisoo is quite the wonderful fur baby. Maybe he'll run into Greta. She will be with our other rainbow kitty Abby. I know they are together.
 
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homoki2002

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I am so sorry for your loss, it is the worst feeling to have your heart broken when they pass, it never gets any easier and we know that they are only here with us for a short time but we still are crushed when their time is up, no amount of years is ever enough, but you loved her and she you and you both knew that, and when you meet again one day it will be tears of joy not sadness and it will be wonderful again.

The homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara helps with grief and loss and sudden shock, it works with you body and has no side effects like drugs do. I use it whenever I am very upset which lately seems to be a lot but it helps with grief and lets you deal with things a bit better. But there is no magic pill, you sadly just have to suffer and endure it, it hurts like hell and you too at times feel as if you might also die and don't half care if you do, but with time and prayers and love and support you WILL heal again and be okay, you will always have the scar on your broken heart but it WILL heal and get better, it takes time though, just let it out, don't try to numb it or ignore it, if it hurts let it hurt, cry, be sad, get mad, do whatever you feel you must do and the poisons will slowly leave your body, but it is so so tough we all know...

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you......:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
You're right. Sometimes I feel like I just want to die. Like the hurt is so big I just can't go on. Thank you so much for your kind words. The are very comforting. I cry everyday. The tiniest of things set it off. But I don't hold anything back. I move slow, can't concentrate and just don't care about much right now. I will check on the Ignatia Amara. Being homeopathic sounds like something I might try. Talking to people on this website makes me feel less alone and knowing others have come through gives me some strength to get through too. Thank you so much for your reply.
 
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homoki2002

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another thought: it is easier if you have another living cat to hug, or three. If Greta was your only cat, you might not be ready to hug someone else. But while she will forever be in your heart, she will want you to consider to eventually giving your love to someone else in need.
I totally plan on getting another fur baby. I don't know if I could handle more than one but once I work through this grief a bit more I plan to adopt another. I'm not trying to replace Great, but find another little one that needs a home and lots of love. I think will help me get thorugh this too.
 

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Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. You're right. It never seems like enough time. Although she was we believe 15, I honestly believed she'd be with us longer. She took meds and I marked the calendar way ahead on the days her meds were due. Now I see the calendar and cry. I know the pain lessens over time, it did with our past fur baby. But reading things from folks that have been there is so comforting. Not everyone cares that much when this happens...it' just a cat. I couldn't be that way even if I tried! My husband and I love animals and can't imagine that frame of mind.
The shelter idea is a good one. And we do intent to adopt another little girl probably within the next month because we know she won't replace ours, but there are so many that need a home and love.
Am so glad you shared your thoughts with me. Thank you so much.
All of us here know that she wasn't just a cat. She was (and still is) a cherished friend and family member. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't view their pets that way. Some shelters have volunteer programs where you can spend time with the cats to help socialize them. You can go into one of the cat or kitten rooms and just cuddle them and play with them. The shelter will likely already have toys but you can bring your own. Go in there and get some cuddles. It would be beneficial for everyone. Don't rush into adopting. When the time is right, Greta will lead you to the right one. In the meantime, make sure you don't keep your feelings bottled up. It's not healthy. We're here for you and we understand. :hugs:
 

roguethecat

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I think Grisoo is quite the wonderful fur baby. Maybe he'll run into Greta. She will be with our other rainbow kitty Abby. I know they are together.
Grisoo is, as said, not the smartest. He curls his tail like a piggy and has the belly to match. If he can go anywhere (what do I know where he goes in his sleep?), so can others. As for the rainbow kitties, they are safe, and probably puzzled that we have random crying episodes. We miss them, but they are having such a great time... also who knows what form they will take if they decide to pop up again here. I know Rascal would love to be a tiger... he was seen chasing away a deer once:)
 

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You're right. Sometimes I feel like I just want to die. Like the hurt is so big I just can't go on. Thank you so much for your kind words. The are very comforting. I cry everyday. The tiniest of things set it off. But I don't hold anything back. I move slow, can't concentrate and just don't care about much right now. I will check on the Ignatia Amara. Being homeopathic sounds like something I might try. Talking to people on this website makes me feel less alone and knowing others have come through gives me some strength to get through too. Thank you so much for your reply.
It is all normal what you are feeling, the grief has ahold of you and it will for awhile, you just have to work it out but you have to let it run it's course, there is no quick way to rush through it unfortunately. But with time the sun comes out again, right now is the darkest days but it will get better each day, each week, and one day you will feel you can deal with it somewhat better.

Ignatia is wonderful, also the herb Holy Basil, it helps you adapt to the stress, you know it is still there but you can handle it a bit better, I take that too at times. But it takes time, and I know when little Sylvester moves on I will be a train wreck, I know all these things and say the right things to people but when he goes I don't think I will be able to handle it, he is my baby, my joy, I hope we have years together yet but I know that day will come and I will be a mess....

Also try to drink a lot of water and get some sleep, it is hard but it is so important to keep up your strength through this tough time. And eat too....
 

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Like others before me have said, you will probably never get over this, but you will learn how to live with it, or better, without your Greta.
It may take you a week, a month, a year, or ten years. It depends on so many factors, like the person's sensibility, their previous experience in life, their age, and not least the strength of the bond there was between the person and their cat.

It's been 4 years since the loss of my sweet cat Lola and nearly 3 years since my beloved cat Pallina left me, and I am still crying daily, especially on certain special days like today (Lola's birthday).
Judging by how I'm feeling after so a long time, I could say that I will never get over it.

I have two cats now, they're young and active and I love them and they love me, but this love isn't able to erase the pain I feel every single day.

I hope you will be luckier than me. Consider helping in a shelter, or fostering, until one day the fate, or Greta, will make you cross your path with another kitty in need of a warm heart and home.
Take care of yourself.

RIP Greta, give comfort to your mom's heart.
 
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homoki2002

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Like others before me have said, you will probably never get over this, but you will learn how to live with it, or better, without your Greta.
It may take you a week, a month, a year, or ten years. It depends on so many factors, like the person's sensibility, their previous experience in life, their age, and not least the strength of the bond there was between the person and their cat.

It's been 4 years since the loss of my sweet cat Lola and nearly 3 years since my beloved cat Pallina left me, and I am still crying daily, especially on certain special days like today (Lola's birthday).
Judging by how I'm feeling after so a long time, I could say that I will never get over it.

I have two cats now, they're young and active and I love them and they love me, but this love isn't able to erase the pain I feel every single day.

I hope you will be luckier than me. Consider helping in a shelter, or fostering, until one day the fate, or Greta, will make you cross your path with another kitty in need of a warm heart and home.
Take care of yourself.

RIP Greta, give comfort to your mom's heart.
Like you, I will never get over losing Greta. We had another kitty before her, Abby, and I still cry over losing her . She was my mom's cat. When mom passed we took her in. I would sit on the couch with her in my lap and cry into her fur after losing mom. That was her most special place in my life. It's comforting to know that others still cry over long past fur babies. Sometimes I feel like I'm just losing my mind. As days pass I get a little (little) better but still cry everyday. We do have plans to adopt a new fur baby soon. Next week my hubby and I are going out to buy some new cat things and the following week we are going to start the search for our new baby. I can't bear use any of Greta's things, we have to get new stuff. We are so anxious to have a new kitty to give our love to. Each kitty brings their own specialness to our lives, but the pain of losing the others will never be gone.

Thank you so much for your posts. They are so helpful to me in trying to find my way through this part of life.
 
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homoki2002

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All of us here know that she wasn't just a cat. She was (and still is) a cherished friend and family member. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't view their pets that way. Some shelters have volunteer programs where you can spend time with the cats to help socialize them. You can go into one of the cat or kitten rooms and just cuddle them and play with them. The shelter will likely already have toys but you can bring your own. Go in there and get some cuddles. It would be beneficial for everyone. Don't rush into adopting. When the time is right, Greta will lead you to the right one. In the meantime, make sure you don't keep your feelings bottled up. It's not healthy. We're here for you and we understand. :hugs:
Oh my gosh....I love the idea that Greta will lead us to the right one! I never thought of that! I do believe that we will know the right one when we find it. No preconceived ideas of I got to have this or that. I truly believe that we will know when we find him or her. But that thought of Greta helping us just warms my heart more than you can imagine! I would love to just go out and get one right now but I believe that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. We actually are going to visit some local kitties just to cuddle, next week. I still cry everyday. Over the tiniest of things. I guess it's just part of the process. I think getting a new fur baby in our lives will be so wonderful. Bless you for your kind words!
 
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