One kitten is very hard on the other. Interfere or let them figure it out?

else

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So we have to kittens from the same litter, 8.5 weeks old. Male/female.

They're doing well together for the most part, snuggling together and being good friends. But when they play, they play hard, which I know is normal. They usually take turns and are both into it . However, the female is a lot more rough and wild in her play, the male is more gentle. There are times when he keeps growling and howling at her because she's so rough. I think she sometimes digs her claws in too much and it hurts. It is best to leave them alone to learn and to figure things out, or should I remove her when she gets too rough? Sometimes I just put her a few feet away from him which sometimes helps, or I bring out the lazer light. Thoughts?

They are the same size right now but he eats lots more so he will probably get bigger and have an advantage soon.
 

ArtNJ

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Its fine to gently intervene like your doing, but you don't have to think of that as your job. If you happen to see the male in a bad spot and seeming truly miserable, then sure, help out. But you can leave them together when you are asleep or busy as well. They are getting along, and unequal enthusiasm is a thing that millions of cat pairs deal with. Its not something you can solve by intervening in exactly the right way, and is something they will get past in time. If it was truly a problem, the male would be acting bothered even when the rough play wasn't happening, and wouldn't initiate sometimes. You can let him be your guide in that respect.
 

rubysmama

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With kittens that young, I can't imagine that it would be anything other than rough play. If the male growls and howls, but keeps on playing, or briefly runs away, but quickly comes back for more fun, that's fine. The advice we give with older cats is that unless there's fur flying, bloodshed, or one cat seems extremely scared of the other, things are likely fine. And with 8.5 week old kittens, I'm almost certain that would be the case.

BTW, that rough play, including the shrieks and growls is how a kitten learns how to "play nice" with other cats, as well with their humans. When a kitten is taken away from their mom and siblings too young, the result can be a adult cat that bites or doesn't realize it can hurt someone with their claws. So your kittens, having each other, should help them grow up to be well mannered adult cats.
 

di and bob

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Yes, I agree, letting the behavior of the male be your guide. If he avoids her, leaving the room, hiding, when she appears then that means he is truly getting hurt. It doesn't hurt to remove her from attacking him and gently scolding her, but kittens always sound like they are killing each other when they play. He is teaching her limits by his howling and screaming, she needs this to know limits when playing with you too. He will eventually fight back, especially when she gets to hurting him, like you said, he will be bigger than her some day....
 
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else

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With kittens that young, I can't imagine that it would be anything other than rough play. If the male growls and howls, but keeps on playing, or briefly runs away, but quickly comes back for more fun, that's fine. The advice we give with older cats is that unless there's fur flying, bloodshed, or one cat seems extremely scared of the other, things are likely fine. And with 8.5 week old kittens, I'm almost certain that would be the case.

BTW, that rough play, including the shrieks and growls is how a kitten learns how to "play nice" with other cats, as well with their humans. When a kitten is taken away from their mom and siblings too young, the result can be a adult cat that bites or doesn't realize it can hurt someone with their claws. So your kittens, having each other, should help them grow up to be well mannered adult cats.
Awesome! Great to know, thank you very much!
 
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else

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Its fine to gently intervene like your doing, but you don't have to think of that as your job. If you happen to see the male in a bad spot and seeming truly miserable, then sure, help out. But you can leave them together when you are asleep or busy as well. They are getting along, and unequal enthusiasm is a thing that millions of cat pairs deal with. Its not something you can solve by intervening in exactly the right way, and is something they will get past in time. If it was truly a problem, the male would be acting bothered even when the rough play wasn't happening, and wouldn't initiate sometimes. You can let him be your guide in that respect.
I'm glad to hear that, thank you for your advice on this!
 
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else

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Yes, I agree, letting the behavior of the male be your guide. If he avoids her, leaving the room, hiding, when she appears then that means he is truly getting hurt. It doesn't hurt to remove her from attacking him and gently scolding her, but kittens always sound like they are killing each other when they play. He is teaching her limits by his howling and screaming, she needs this to know limits when playing with you too. He will eventually fight back, especially when she gets to hurting him, like you said, he will be bigger than her some day....
Great! I'm learning too, so thank you very much for explaining!
 

rubysmama

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Got any pics of those 2 little darlings you can share? :camera:
 
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else

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I sure do! About 4 thousand by now! 🤣 Seriously, we can't get enough of them, we are so in love!
 

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else

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I'm not sure if the pictures showed up? Can you see them? The red male is Wesley (Princess Bride) and the white /red female is Iris (also Buttercup). They both like to snuggle but Wesley is a true lap cat who purrs easily and loves to be stroked all over. Even full-body belly rubs. Iris is more independent but has her times when she wants to snuggle on our laps. She's a wild maniac but then the next minute she's chirping like a bird and acting like a tender little princess. She's so funny!! They keep us laughing and smiling all day long, in between us wanting to tear our hairs out. Life with kittens is not exactly dull! 😂😍
 

rubysmama

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Yes, I can see them. And they're pawsitively precious. :redheartpump:

I actually love seeing kitten pics of orange tabbies, as my Ruby girl was an adult when I adopted her, so I never saw her as a kitten. :lovecat2:
 

She's a witch

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Just to add that It’s actually awesome that your female is rougher than your male rather than the other way around, as your boy will most probably be bigger than your girl in several months and the things will even out a bit since he’ll be stronger than her.
 
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else

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Just to add that It’s actually awesome that your female is rougher than your male rather than the other way around, as your boy will most probably be bigger than your girl in several months and the things will even out a bit since he’ll be stronger than her.
Good point! Thanks!
 
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