Older, newer cat still won't play nice

BeccaT

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We've had our youngest cat Annie for over a year now, it was a year in October. We'll have had our second older cat April in, well, April, so the two cats haven't been together for a year yet. From the beginning, this was a problem but I let time run its course. Thankfully things did get better, they eat within close proximity, they sleep very close to each other sometimes (but not cuddling), they'll sit touching each other side by side to watch out of the window and VERY rarely will there be mutual grooming (Annie is mostly the one that grooms, and it only lasts until April swats her away. April hardly grooms Annie).

The main issue is when they play. They don't play often, but when they wrestle, it can get a bit nasty. There's never any hissing or blood drawn but a majority of the time, it ends with me having to break them up because April will physically pin Annie to the floor and bite her until Annie starts to make noises (not sure how to describe them but it's obvious April is hurting her). The worst I've seen really is sometimes a small amount of fur in April's mouth from Annie, but she's never missing clumps of fur or anything. I always separate them after this and Annie never really seems scared of April but still, April never listens to Annie's cries/noises when she bites too hard and it worries me for when we're out of the house if it happens then. I've read in places that cats make these noises to tell the other cat when they're being "too much" to get them to stop, but I'm not sure how right this is and maybe I'm overthinking it. Also when they play, it's 90% wrestling and not the friendly kind, the kind where they are literally attached to each other and they have to fight back and fourth rather than letting the other play nicely (at least from what I've seen in videos of play wrestling).

The age gap is only a few months, so I'm not sure if the age gap matters. I believe April will be 2 years old in March and Annie turned 1 year old in August. We don't know much about April's past other than she was found on the street, then in a foster home with other cats and dogs for at least a few months before we adopted her. We were told she was good with other cats and she actually was good when we introduced them, whereas Annie was the one to hiss and growl (which she of course worked through in the end). Annie on the other hand we have had since she was only a few weeks/months old so she had no interactions with other cats until we adopted April and we had no idea how she'd react, but she seems to be the more tame one when they're playing.

I know I've made a post like this before but it still happens and today it happened for maybe a bit too long because I couldn't intervene quick enough, and the noises that Annie was making actually upset me. Again, no blood was drawn and I don't think any fur was missing and she didn't really seem scared but it scares me. Is this something I just have to wait out for longer, or is there a way I can help the two of them play better? As stated previously, they're absolutely fine in every other way. It's just when April gets too rough or walks up to Annie and provokes her while she's relaxing, that it scares me that one of them might get seriously injured one day.
 
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BeccaT

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Hi
I don't know if this might help better determine things from their perspective?

Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing? – TheCatSite Articles
I'll be sure to pay attention to these things the next time they fight/play, but from what I can recall from when I previously have observed them:
  • Ears are often back or at least halfway back
  • I THINK their eyes are usually large, or at least Annie's usually are I think. I don't believe I've ever seen the whites of their eyes when they're playing/fighting
  • Tails only get bushy when they get spooked by a noise or sometimes even each other (but not in a fighting way) and I think their tails do get a bit wild sometimes in regards to how they move, but again I can't recall. I do believe Annie's tail is often straight up though, similar to when she happily greets us. April's is rarely up unless we're giving her the attention she's asking for, so it's definitely always down when they're playing.
  • I don't think their claws are out but I always struggle to see well enough to determine
  • The posture part confuses me. April is usually lying on her side a majority of the time with Annie pawing at her or nipping at her feet (April never makes a noise at this, but she does bite back) until a scuffle starts and that's when April ends up on top and pinning down Annie
  • Annie is the only one to vocalize and it only happens like when I mentioned in the main post, when she's pinned to the ground and April is biting too hard. Otherwise there are no vocalizations.
I'm sorry if this response was long winded! Lol. But I am happy to see that in the article you linked, the play fighting video looks closer to what my two do. The only difference being when they physically grab onto each other, my two don't really leave much room for either of them to easily let go if that makes sense? It gets quite intense when that happens which is when I usually make sure I'm paying attention as I know it'll likely end in a cry from Annie. But not always, as they do like to chase each other around the house sometimes too. I'll be sure to update this if I observe anything different, and I apologise if my post/question was silly if the case is that they really are playing, just very rough. Annie clearly doesn't like the rough play so I was wondering if there was a way I can help April chill out a bit.
 

Furballsmom

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You're absolutely not silly :hugs: Cats, even in play, are so intense that it can be challenging to know :)

Would you be able to take April for walks, or play with a wand style toy so that she's leaping and chasing so she gets some of that energy worn down a bit?
 
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BeccaT

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You're absolutely not silly :hugs: Cats, even in play, are so intense that it can be challenging to know :)

Would you be able to take April for walks, or play with a wand style toy so that she's leaping and chasing so she gets some of that energy worn down a bit?
Not so sure about walks considering our area, but she definitely does go hard when it comes to playing with a wand toy. It can sometimes be difficult to get her engaged at first and I could certainly play with them more with wands. Thank you for the advice.
 
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