Older cat playing or upset with new kitten?

[travel_bug]

Hello! I am looking for opinions and advice on my older cat, 5 years old, and my new kitten I got a little over a month ago (he just turned 8 months old). Both are fixed and both have been around other cats before. My older cat I took her from my best friend and her husband as they were moving away cross country for traveling nursing and to finish their PhD. She doesn't travel well and their relatives weren't taking good care of her. I've had her for a year now and having known me since she was a kitten she adjusted well with no issues. I chose to get another cat so she wouldn't be so bored. I could tell she was getting chubby and lounging around more and I can't chase her around the way another cat could, etc. I introduced the new kitten to her the way you're supposed, followed all the steps and now they're allowed to see one another through a pet gate.

My new kitten is friendly but personality wise he's a bit skittish and shy so I've been taking things extra slow for both their sakes. At first, when he arrived, my older cat would do the usual hissing and was not happy that she could tell there was another cat in the house. After a while, however, she doesn't hiss or growl but they play with one another's paws under the door all the time. The room the new kitten is in is separate but runs parallel to the kitchen and dining area so they can run back and forth with doors closed and a pet gate up. When they don't see one another they seem fine, but if my older cat sees my kitten sitting at the gate looking for attention, she tries to chase him and he runs away to hide.

My family and other friends said I should see if they got along without being separated. I let them out and there wasn't any fighting but the kitten was chased under the couch and hid for a while. There have been times when I keep them separate that the kitten squeezes through the gate on his own and stares at my older cat. You can tell he's trying to investigate and determine he wants to play but when my older cat chases him or pounces at the gate he changes his mind.

I've had cats and dogs my whole life but the way these two act towards one another is far different than the others I've had. I can't tell if they're going to be friends, though I know it'll take a few more months at this rate I'm thinking, or if my older cat is aware of how skittish he is and is enjoying the fact that she can scare him away. I've been using a feliway multicat pheromone as well and that seems to have been helping keep them both relaxed a little more. I'm contemplating having a friend stay and watch them one day to see if it's just me they're messing with and it's a jealousy thing?

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm contemplating having a friend stay and watch them one day to see if it's just me they're messing with and it's a jealousy thing?

I like this thought

 

[ArtNJ]

If he isnt hissing or swatting, he probably wants to play. For starters, just put them together for a few hours when your home and see what happens.

Adults dont attack kittens with intent to injure, so its zero risk. Your kitten is going to need real time together to get over its fear. Its totally fine if the kitten runs away in the moment, you just want the kitten to come back out in a few minutes and act like nothing happened and not be in constant fear of the adult. That can take up to a week or so.

If you wait too long the kitten will be perceived as an adult. I don't know exactly when that happens. Six months is safe, but I'm not 100% sure about 8 months and it may vary. So even now, at 8 months there is some possibility that there could already be an attack with intent to injure, so its definitely best to start with a few supervised sessions to see what happens. But assuming its all good, don't waste any remaining kittenhood, because once that protection is gone, real fights become possible.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. You don't say (or perhaps know) what the kitten's past life was like, and maybe that is playing a role in his skittishness. And, yes, to be sure your older cat could be inflicting her desire to be dominant, especially because she senses the skittishness in the younger cat. That could/likely change over time.

Sure, have a friend come in and tell you what they see - but I don't think there is an intentional attempt on either of their parts to 'mess with you'. You just need to proceed slowly and let your little skittish one become more comfortable.
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I'd recommend as much supervised time together as you can manage with your schedule. And don't be too quick to swoop in and remove the kitten. Remember...if there is no blood or pee on the floor, and no fur in the air, it is not a cat fight. It is either a heated discussion or just rough play. So long as the kitten isn't being terrified, they'll work things out.