Older cat doesn't like younger cat

[HaLo2FrEeEk]

The older cat (Prim) is a little over 6 and the younger cat (Graycie) is about 3 and a half. I've had them both since they were kittens. Prim is inbred (dad was from mom's previous litter), her eyes don't always look in exactly the same direction, she's super daddy's girl though, purrs like a motor boat when I talk sweet to her across the room and practically melts in my lap. She's quite calm, she doesn't care about toys, preferring to lay literally anywhere near me. Graycie is very jumpy, she'll flinch when I reach to pet her but once I touch her she leans into it and she has cuddled since literally day one. She's never been abused, she's always been like that, I "met" her when she was still nursing and took her home at 8 weeks. She's an explorer, very curious and definitely loves to bat around toys and anything else that moves. Other than a few quirks they're both relatively normal cats, Prim has never liked Graycie though. When I got Graycie I was in a relationship and there was another cat, who Prim also didn't like. When we split, she took her cat. For the last 3 years their home was a bedroom at the place I rented. The owner didn't mind cats, I just chose to keep them in there for multiple reasons. They had scratching posts and several climbing platforms on the walls, a window they could watch out of and 2 separated food bowls, although they shared the litter box and water bowl.

I recently moved into my own place and now they get free reign, I thought that might ease tension but it seems like nothing has changed. Prim isn't aggressive, just vocal, and to me it seems like Graycie isn't even doing anything. Prim will be sitting there and Graycie will just walk up and sit and look at her and Prim will start growling. If Graycie is sitting in a doorway, Prim won't walk through the door, like she's scared. Occasionally Graycie jumps out at Prim, to me it looks like she's trying to play, and Prim just won't have it. Instant hissing and spitting, Prim runs, Graycie chases, Prim hisses more etc.. I'm not sure if Prim just really doesn't want to play, she never has liked noise and activity (she hated the owner of the house, who was very loud.) I can give them treats right next to each other and not only will they both stand there and eat them, neither tries to steal the others'. They can both lay on my lap within a foot of each other and Prim will be upside down purring, comfy as can be. But just a moment ago Prim was sitting in the middle of the living room and Graycie was sitting 6 feet away and Prim was growling. I started talking to Prim to calm her down and she really slowly walked over to me making a wide circle around Graycie and not talking her eyes off her.

I'm not sure what to do at this point, they've lived together for over 3 years now, but it almost seems like Prim is super intimidated by Graycie. I know this was a long post, sorry for that, I like to paint a picture. Hopefully someone has some advice for me. Thanks for reading

 

[ArtNJ]

Sometimes cats never like each other, or one never likes the other. Usually the cat in Prim's situation will relax a bit over time and slide towards toleration, but it can take years and sometimes you might not get all the way. Some will suggest stuff like Feliway, cat music or other such things, but I mostly think that only time will help, and perhaps not all that much since its already been years. That said, adding some extra high spaces such as scratching posts does seem to help the cat in Prim's situation feel comfortable.

 

[HaLo2FrEeEk]

Hmm, ok. I won't lose hope. Since I just moved a few weeks ago I haven't been able to put anything up yet, I'm hesitant to put screw holes in the walls in an apartment. Ultimately it is my intention to put up platforms for them to sit up high like at the old place, maybe that will help.

 

[ArtNJ]

Definitely don't give up hope. I had the slow crawl towards toleration happen over the years with an older rescued stray that never liked the kitten we adopted even though he grew into a pretty chill cat that didn't really bother the older cat. In the last few years of her life, she pretty much got all the way to toleration, and they even played for a minute or two a couple of times, which made me really happy. But you don't actually need to get all the way to toleration -- just for the older cat to not be stressed if the other cat isn't close or actively bothering him. And that is easier.

 

[flybear]

I am just learning myself that some cats instantly like each other and some ... don't ... I have two adult girls who LOVE the kitten we adopted as a medical foster only a few months ago ... kitten is now 5 months. But both cats do not like the two younger kittens we are planing to adopt now. And there is absolutely no obvious reason ... first kitten was way more active and pesky and bothersome to the adults than the new kittens ... new kittens are calmer and have good social skills ... they don't bug the adults, they try to be respectful ... but there is a clear difference in behavior from he adults ... with the first kitten they instantly " clicked" and allowed him to cuddle and licked him and still sleep with him ... the new kittens are being tolerated ... they can be in the same room, they can eat in proximity to each other but if one of the kittens dares to walk up to the girls they get a hiss and a swat ... I guess cats are like humans ... we don't like every random person either but ...we can certainly co-exist with them especially given enough space and resources. Have plenty of litterboxes and consider multiple water dishes in different rooms and feed them apart from each other ... that will make them feel ore comfy... Cats in general ( even our sister cats) like to be able to get out of each others sight ... play trees in different rooms, covered spaces like boxes, tunnels, high perches ... I think they will be fine as long as they have space ...

 

[HaLo2FrEeEk]

Thank you, I will take all of that into consideration as I set up for them in the new place. Ideally I'd like to have basically a cat jungle gym in here with platforms all over, grooming areas (Prim sheds a lot) and lots of comfy spots for them both. Separate litter boxes would be difficult, I'm still figuring out the best place for the one I have, there aren't a lot of ideal places. At any rate, thank you for the advice!