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i couldn't find a previous discussion with a similar enough problem to ours. It's a bit of a long read, sorry, but I don't want to leave out any details that might be important.
My SO has an 8 year old male (neutered) cat Mau, who is super attached to him and generally extremely friendly towards humans and always craving for attention. We've lived together for a bit over a year and Mau has also accepted me as part of the family.
I wanted to get another cat, so we decided to look for a rescue; the younger the easier it would be for Mau, we figured. First we got a neutered 9 month old teenage mom, feral and super timid. We were prepared to dealing with the cat not being used to human contact at all, but the two cats would absolutely not get along after a long period of gradual introduction. After 10 weeks of the new cat being constantly terrified of Mau and both cats stressed we decided with the foster home that it would be best to look for a new home for her.
The foster home offered us one of two kittens "in exchange" and we got a 15 week old male, who was shy at first but has very quickly turned into a momma's boy and is constantly purring and friendly towards everyone and everything. The kitten is completely in love with Mau, and when given the chance follows him everywhere, purring. Mau is mostly mildly annoyed with the kitten, but has not really been aggressive towards it, save for occasional hissing and swatting, like you would expect from an older (dominant) cat. Their playtime has turned a little rough on Mau's side maybe two times and we've had to break it off just in case, but nothing extreme (like with the previous cat). The kitten is very submissive and will purr and roll over in front of Mau. He also doesn't quite seem to understand the hissing, and will continue to follow Mau even after being obviosly told to leave him alone.
We've let the kitten roam free in our apartment sometimes but kept one room off limits so that Mau has somewhere to hang out where he is not bothered by the kitten. We've also still mostly kept the kitten in a separate room, and only let him out supervised.
Now the problem is that Mau is apparently super jealous despite our best efforts to go on as usual, even practically ignoring the kitten and giving more attention to Mau. He seems to mostly hate both of us and will hiss, growl and/or run off when we try to pet him and is rarely interested in playing. Mau is normally constantly jumping onto my SO's lap for pets, purring and generally looking for affection, but has stopped doing any of that. It's really hard to give him attention when he won't let us.
Thing is, with the kitten Mau seems quite OK, they play sometimes and Mau has even been grooming the kitten occasionally. So far we've even left them in the same space overnight and they've both slept in our bed with no issues.
It's been less than two weeks and I'm sure it will turn out OK, but my SO is very worried about Mau's behavior. Mau has been the only cat for almost 6 years, so obviously it will take him time to adjust to the situation. Is there anything we can or should do to convince Mau that the new kitten is not going to steal all of our affection?
My SO has an 8 year old male (neutered) cat Mau, who is super attached to him and generally extremely friendly towards humans and always craving for attention. We've lived together for a bit over a year and Mau has also accepted me as part of the family.
I wanted to get another cat, so we decided to look for a rescue; the younger the easier it would be for Mau, we figured. First we got a neutered 9 month old teenage mom, feral and super timid. We were prepared to dealing with the cat not being used to human contact at all, but the two cats would absolutely not get along after a long period of gradual introduction. After 10 weeks of the new cat being constantly terrified of Mau and both cats stressed we decided with the foster home that it would be best to look for a new home for her.
The foster home offered us one of two kittens "in exchange" and we got a 15 week old male, who was shy at first but has very quickly turned into a momma's boy and is constantly purring and friendly towards everyone and everything. The kitten is completely in love with Mau, and when given the chance follows him everywhere, purring. Mau is mostly mildly annoyed with the kitten, but has not really been aggressive towards it, save for occasional hissing and swatting, like you would expect from an older (dominant) cat. Their playtime has turned a little rough on Mau's side maybe two times and we've had to break it off just in case, but nothing extreme (like with the previous cat). The kitten is very submissive and will purr and roll over in front of Mau. He also doesn't quite seem to understand the hissing, and will continue to follow Mau even after being obviosly told to leave him alone.
We've let the kitten roam free in our apartment sometimes but kept one room off limits so that Mau has somewhere to hang out where he is not bothered by the kitten. We've also still mostly kept the kitten in a separate room, and only let him out supervised.
Now the problem is that Mau is apparently super jealous despite our best efforts to go on as usual, even practically ignoring the kitten and giving more attention to Mau. He seems to mostly hate both of us and will hiss, growl and/or run off when we try to pet him and is rarely interested in playing. Mau is normally constantly jumping onto my SO's lap for pets, purring and generally looking for affection, but has stopped doing any of that. It's really hard to give him attention when he won't let us.
Thing is, with the kitten Mau seems quite OK, they play sometimes and Mau has even been grooming the kitten occasionally. So far we've even left them in the same space overnight and they've both slept in our bed with no issues.
It's been less than two weeks and I'm sure it will turn out OK, but my SO is very worried about Mau's behavior. Mau has been the only cat for almost 6 years, so obviously it will take him time to adjust to the situation. Is there anything we can or should do to convince Mau that the new kitten is not going to steal all of our affection?
