Old cat just staring at new cat?

cherryberry

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Hi! I just joined this site so I'm sorry if this isn't the appropriate place for this.
Anyways, today my mom adopted a new cat. Yesterday I told her all the things I learned about how to introduce cats. (keeping them separated etc) and she said okay and thats what we'll do.
Well, comes to find out she just plopped them together. They havent hissed or really attacked each other, just sometimes go at each other then my old cat will run. For the most part, the new cat will just be walking around and my old cat will follow her and just...stare at her. Like now hes sitting on my bed staring at her while shes sitting on a dresser.

I feel really upset right now because I love my old cat to shreds and want him to be happy. In fact I was crying earlier because I felt guilty for getting this new cat. I was the one who begged for it and now I feel like crap about it.

Am I overreacting? Is this normal for him to just kinda stare? Theres been a few times where hell go up to her and raise his paw but not do anything. Sometimes she'll walk up to him sniff then leave. Sometimes she'll go at him and hell run a little then stare. Like I said, I want my little guy to be happy with this new cat. Advice?
 

Furballsmom

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Hi!
This doesn't sound too bad, actually.

Hang in there with it , and maybe try some Cat music for them. Spotify has harp music for cats :)
 
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cherryberry

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Yeah, they arent too bad its just stressing me for some reason. Like I had been keeping new kitty in my room, and old kitty pushed the door open to come stare at her under the bed. It just makes me feel like hes stressed and its making me feel like I cant sleep 😭
 

Furballsmom

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Try the music, --I'm assuming you don't have access to purchase other calming products but the music really works :)
 

Furballsmom

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Let us know how things go, and if you see him staring at her under the bed again, try and distract him with a toy or something :). (I would avoid picking him up, he might accidentally scratch you)
 
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cherryberry

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Let us know how things go, and if you see him staring at her under the bed again, try and distract him with a toy or something :). (I would avoid picking him up, he might accidentally scratch you)
he didnt stare for too long, he stared maybe not even a minute then went off to bed thankfully
 

ArtNJ

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Around the world, millions just plot two cats together. It quite often works out ok in the end, especially if the cats are young -- they can work through some drama. Staring -- on the first day -- sounds like a wonderful situation. Heck, a little light hissing would be wonderful. Only fighting is terrible.
 
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cherryberry

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Around the world, millions just plot two cats together. It quite often works out ok in the end, especially if the cats are young -- they can work through some drama. Staring -- on the first day -- sounds like a wonderful situation. Heck, a little light hissing would be wonderful. Only fighting is terrible.
yeah, im thankful they arent hissing or fighting. i just feel super guilty that my old cat seems so afraid. as of now we've separated them for the time being
 
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cherryberry

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ArtNJ

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Well, my suggestion is to either back up and do a full introduction process, or let them be together as long as it looks like they are not going to fight. Thats how they work through stuff (anxiety and fear) by having lots of time together. Fine to wait until the morning though, if your at all unsure they are stable enough not to fight with supervision.

I don't do zero introduction process with adults, but I've done only two days before when things seemed to be going very well. There was some light hissing after that, but thats all it was, so I let them work it out, and they did within another two days or so.
 
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cherryberry

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Well, my suggestion is to either back up and do a full introduction process, or let them be together as long as it looks like they are not going to fight. Thats how they work through stuff (anxiety and fear) by having lots of time together. Fine to wait until the morning though, if your at all unsure they are stable enough not to fight with supervision.

I don't do zero introduction process with adults, but I've done only two days before when things seemed to be going very well. There was some light hissing after that, but thats all it was, so I let them work it out, and they did within another two days or so.
We had them out together for about 30 minutes or so, neither fought or hissed. They went at each other some but it seems like she's just wanting to play. Thats why I'm thinking she's a little younger than a year and a half but idk. He wouldo back away from her or run back a little but no fights. We finally put her back in my moms room because we're going to head on to bed. We're probably just gonna leave them together supervised for a bit each day.
I just feel, bad leaving her in my moms room tonight (its somewher between 12x12 or 15x15 idk) bc I feel its a little too small. I am gonna get my room ready for her tomorrow so she can hang out in a bigger space when needed.
 
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