Odd bullying behavior from Resident Cat towards New Cat

[mikameek]

Hi all!
The title of this thread isn't as accurate as I want it to be but I wasn't sure how to word the situation that I have going on. My roommate and I have been living in this apartment we're currently in for close to a year. My cat, Mika, has been with me the entire time but my roommate was unable to bring her cat, Stassi, in until just recently. These two cats lived with each other in our previous apartment together but were never typically cozy, if you will. Stassi got along with a third roommate's cat the best and they would play, cuddle and hang out together all the time. Mika was sick for a very long time while she lived with them but has since overcome her illness and regained all her energy. During the time these 3 cats lived together, they would all snuggle on the same bed together and could be close but neither Stassi or the other cat would really play with Mika (I don't think she had the energy for it). Some background on the two cats: Mika is a 4 year old Tortie who was born on the streets, was a TNR fail after having a litter or two, given up for adoption only to be returned to the shelter when her expenses for her illness became too much for her previous family. This is where I adopted her. Stassi is a 1 year old (coming close to her 2nd birthday) Calico who was born in a vets office and was adopted by my roommate's family along with a litter-sister. Stassi was originally living with the sibling until she came to live with Mika and the other cat. During the time she was not in this apartment with Mika, she was back living with this sister and they had no issues with introduction or them getting along at all.
Regardless, Stassi and Mika have been separated from each other for nearly 7 or 8 months when my roommate was able to bring her back into this new apartment. We attempted to do a proper introduction (like Jackson Galaxy style) but my roommate got inpatient early on. I don't want to say that things are bad because the spats these cats are having are no where near as explosive as I'm reading they could be. Specifically their fights are short bursts of growling, hissing (only on Stassi's end; Mika has never hissed or growled at her) and maybe a few slaps between the two before they disperse and return to their safe spaces (respectively my room for Mika and my roommate's room for Stassi). These spats are 10 seconds maximum but I did get a spray bottle just in case they should escalate more.
My main concern is that it really is becoming evident that Mika is bullying Stassi.
When these spats finish, sometimes Stassi will run under the couch to hide before running back into my roommate's room. Mika will often (now, it wasn't like this at first) sit in a corner and stare at Stassi under the couch. The whole time Stassi is growling and hissing at her. Eventually Mika will move her way over to the couch, attempt to reach Stassi which starts another small spat where the two cats will fully move away into their respective spaces. Mika has also started waiting in the living room for my roommate's door to be opened and she'll dart in there to harass Stassi before quickly running out again. Sometimes Mika will sit in the living room and stare into my roommate's room at Stassi for long periods of time before running in there. Stassi is extremely terrified of the living room now and will only come out when she's positive Mika is no where around and when my roommate goes out with her. She's taken to hiding in the closet at times when the doors are open.
I feel terrible for this little cat. She's in a new environment and is obviously scared of her situation. I want to do right by her but I'm unsure of how to mediate this situation now that we're here. I have sprayed Mika with the spray bottle (full of water) when she was stalking Stassi under the couch along with a firm NO but I'm also terrified of ruining my relationship with her over actions she's not correlating to the spraying.

I need some tips on how to keep Mika for being a bully, help Stassi feel more comfortable in the living room and hopefully get these two to where they can minimally be in the same room together without there being issues! To be clear, as well, my roommate has decided that a reintroduction process is too long for her and she simply wants them to work it out themselves. That's a process I can't do alone so if there are any other tips, please let me know!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hello!

she simply wants them to work it out themselves.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that, it's a bit unhelpful for sure.

Can you try loving on Stassi, and playing with her more, while containing Mika in a room elsewhere at first, then gradually trying some playtime together when that becomes possible? This will gradually help to build her confidence.

If it's safe to do so, can you try picking up Mika when she goes into the staring mode, or using a big piece of cardboard to insert between her and Stassi to break that mental focus of Mika's? ...every time - she will likely eventually stop if you're consistent.

Mika has also started waiting in the living room for my roommate's door to be opened and she'll dart in there to harass Stassi before quickly running out again.

It's possible Mika is looking to play, but perception is everything and Stassi doesn't see it that way.

Can you try calming products? I'm not sure feliway or other diffuser would work here, there's a chance it might make things worse. Here's a list of other things you could try, or you could talk to your vet.

Only Natural Pet has a calming product called Just Relax Calming spray with essential oil (catnip oil).

There's this one, be sure and scroll all the way down the page;
Bach Flower Remedies - Rescue Remedy Pets Dogs Cats Horses Birds

Also, there is ThunderWunders calming chews, Richard's Organic Pet Calm drops, Naturevet Hemp, HomeoPet Anxiety Relief, Head to Tail Calming, Relaxivet Quiet Moments Cat treats, GNC Calming formula, and there is Calm-o-mile, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy - UK (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-eze, Pet Organics No Stress, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has other calming products, Pet Naturals also has one I believe, and there are others.

Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course chewy, also there's Petwishpros, animaleo, 1-800-petmeds, Petco and PetSmart, and other pet stores.

There is also a product called a lickimat which could be helpful, as cats can be calmed by the process of licking. The LickiMat - Food Puzzles for Cats

This post talks about some other products;
Calming Treats For A Very Picky Cat

 

[mikameek]

Can you try loving on Stassi, and playing with her more, while containing Mika in a room elsewhere at first, then gradually trying some playtime together when that becomes possible? This will gradually help to build her confidence.

If it's safe to do so, can you try picking up Mika when she goes into the staring mode, or using a big piece of cardboard to insert between her and Stassi to break that mental focus of Mika's? ...every time - she will likely eventually stop if you're consistent.


It's possible Mika is looking to play, but perception is everything and Stassi doesn't see it that way.

Can you try calming products?

Thanks for the suggestions and replying! I do tend to love on Stassi anytime I see her but that seems to agitate Mika more honestly. She's always been one to butt in on affection other animals are getting. I will try on playing with Mika more in the shared space and try to coax Stassi out with some shared play as well.
I usually am actually able to get Mika to pull out of it by calling her but I will start picking her up and physically moving her so it's and immediate fix to the situation.

I bought a calming spray that you listed Nature's Miracle Just for Cats Calming Spray. I also bought some Pet Naturals of Vermont calming treats. I saw you mentioned that a diffuser might not be a good route to go but I did order one that was specifically for calming essential oils.
Hopefully these things will help! Thank you!

 

[Furballsmom]

Good for you!

Would you be able to take Mika for walks, or rides in an enclosed buggy? That would help give her some mental exercise

This article might have something if you haven't seen it;
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do) – Cat Articles

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. Unless I am misreading something, I am not sure I see any bullying by Mika with what you have described. It sounds more like curiosity, especially since it is mostly Stassi that is hissing/growling. Your roommate rushed the introduction process and that is why the situation is where it is at. Stassi wasn't able to get used to her new environment, much less a new cat! I personally think you need to talk to your roommate about taking a few steps back in the introduction process, to help Stassi gain some confidence in her new home and then work to get the two cats better acclimated to each other. I don't know how the introduction process you used compares to the TCS articles on the same subject, so below are links to some relevant material that might help you devise a plan for 'fine tuning' a process to acclimate Stassi to your home and then to Mika. In these articles, you will see that Mika probably should be removed from the living room for little bits of time to allow Stassi some time there alone - but, that is not the only introduction step you should consider.

Playing with Mika to distract her when she is too focused on Stassi is your best bet. Spraying water on/at a cat is always counter-productive, and I have also included a link below to an article about that as well.

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – Cat Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – Cat Articles
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat [Or otherwise punish them] – Cat Articles

Hope this information helps!!