Not wanting to be held

dejolane

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My cat Thunder will not let me hold her for an amount of time like Bella and Baby do. Thunder hisses at me too. Thunder is my middle cat and I don't think I'm giving either cat more attention than the other.
 
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impossible cat

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Some cats just don't like to be held and touched. My SugerBear is like this she will sit and be petted for all of 45 seconds before she is tired of being touched.
 
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dejolane

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Thunder would let me pet her as long as I have food in my hand then hisses at me.
 

govtlawyer

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Its like the previous poster said - some cats simply do not like being held.  
 

catlover73

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I have 4 cats and none of them will let me hold them for more than a short amount of time.  Our oldest cat Starbuck will only let daddy hold her.  She actually demands it from him.  He holds her like a baby and she grooms him and purrs her little head off.  She has done this with him since she was a baby. I can pick up her up and hold her long enough to bring her to bed at night and she protests until I put her down on the bed.

Sonny is a lap cat and loves to climb on me and give me kisses.  If I pick him up he lets me know it is not acceptable very quickly.

Casey will ask to be picked up once in a while for a short amount of time but prefers to just hang out with us.

Apollo does not like to be picked up much at all.  Once in a while he will ask me to hold him by stretching out and putting his paws on my legs. Usually he just wants me to take him to where I am going to sit down.  

Some cats are just content to be in your lap well others prefer to be near you and just don't like being picked up.  All my cats are affectionate with us even though they do not like to be picked up.  If a cat does not like being picked up don't force the issue it is not going to change things.  Cats do things in their own way and on their own terms.
 

cocobutterfly

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Ha! On the same boat. In my lifetime, I've had more cats that do NOT like to be held than held. Our current cat also does not like to be held. She'll let me carry her upstairs at night when she's exhausted and ready to sleep. But as soon as we get to the top of the stairs, she's already squirming to be let down. When she's wide awake, forget it. She will not let anyone pick her up. Cats, they can be so strange, and we just have to let them be. She also does not like seats or beds designed specifically for cats. She will avoid them like the plague. She only likes human chairs and beds. Oh the mind of a cat.
 

govtlawyer

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Most of my cats who liked or just tolerated being picked up would only like it if I slung them over my shoulder or they practically sat on my shoulder.  I walk around the apartment with them and they enjoy seeing various nooks and crannies from a new perspective.  If I picked up any of them and cradled them with my arms they would let me know they didn't like it by squirming away.  I have very recent scratches on my chest and stomach to prove this.  Take it from them - they know what they like and what they don't.  I've long ago learned that you need to allow them to dictate most things and just respect their likes and dislikes.  
 

bodisha

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When I got my cat Merlin, I'm his third owner.  His first owner abused him and his 2nd owners mostly fed and ignored him.  So he wasn't really use to being held at all when I got him.  

When I got him I wanted to socialize him and I made a point to pick him up often.  The trick I did though was I'd pet him as long as he let me... But the second he wanted down I let him freely jump down.  I never tried to hold him longer than he wanted.  There were literally 100's of times I picked him up and he immediately jumped down.  There were a ton of times I'd pick him up and he'd only be ok with with 10 seconds or 30 seconds or 2 minutes.... There was really no rhyme or reason to how long he'd let me hold him.   I also took some battle scars from him as well.  He'd be ok with being held & pet'ed and all of a sudden he'd snap and want down.  The only way I knew how to take his reaction was cause his first owner abused him.... the only way he knew how to let me know he didn't want keep being held was to attack me.  he was just doing what his instinct let him do so i never got mad and just accepted it was the price i was gonna pay to try and socialize him 

It took 6-8 months... But after letting him work thru his issues with being held... it paid off and he started to enjoy being pet'ed.  Now he'll actively want to be held... He seems to have some separation anxiety and if I've been gone for a while, or if he wakes up from a long nap, he WANTS to be help and reassured things are ok. There's times these days he wants to be held & pet'ed for 15 minutes straight.... Which for Merlin is a regular love fest.   Now if he wants down he rarely does more than squirm a bit to let me know he wants down.  I can't remember the last time he actually bite me to let me know he wanted me to let him go.

I'm a 1st time cat owner so I'd listen to what everyone else said about cats before me.  I just know what worked out well with Merlin.  
 
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dejolane

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Bella is fine with being held for awhile like a baby but Thunder is my problem.
 

skelekittycat

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I think it's just letting them do what they want. 

I have two brothers. Pax is happy with being held and cuddled, particularly if you're showing him something nice that he can be interested in. Orion doesn't really like it and if you pick up him, will instantly scoot up onto your shoulder.

They're also much more receptive to me picking them up, when my partner does it they struggle faster.

They're only 17 weeks old, and are very very affectionate otherwise - to the point of sleeping with us and snuggling up - and we've been picking them up regularly since they were teeny tiny. They're just all different.
 
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