Normal play or show of dominance

[Stella1973]

I need some advice and/or reassurance. I have my resident cat 10 month old Bennie and brought home a 13 1/2 week kitten Chloé last week. We have been doing slow introduction as best as we can as I can’t just keep the kitten holed up in the cat room 24/7 as she is a well socialized kitten who is used to being around many cats and kittens. We have a mesh pop up catio that we use when we take her out of the cat room so that they can see and smell each other but can not get to one another. Bennie stays next to the tent most of the time and will bunny hop around the tent and occasionally bop her. He hasn’t hissed with one exception the day we brought her home and he smelled the carrier. No hissing from him since. We take Chloé out of her tent a couple times a day and monitor the interactions. At first Bennie will approach sniffing her, then will start licking her head (we praise him and give him a treat when he does this) but then he pins her down and bites her neck or throat. We let it play out until Chloé starts to cry as we don’t want to impede on the natural process but I’m concerned that Bennie is going to do this every time she’s out and about. If she runs he will chase her and repeat process. I just don’t know if these are good signs or if we need to just completely keep her separated still. I don’t want Chloé hurt or feel neglected but I also don’t want Bennie agitated. They are both Siberians from the same breeder and have the same father. Pic of my babies just because they’re gorgeous.

 

[Purr-fect]

Your cats are gorgeous!!

I'm not a cat behavioral expert but here is my experience.

We have two large male cats that are siblings and also behave exactly the same way as yours.

The head licking almost always precedes both cats wrestling each other. In our case I don't believe it's a mutual cleaning as much as dominance. Greg ends up on top of Arnold and holding him by the neck. Usually there is a lot of deep growling from Arnold, but no real fighting. Arnold can hold his own against Greg and in fact dominates Greg around the house: will take Greg's food from him, keeps Greg out of my bedroom, when I am there, picks the best seat in the TV room, ECT.

I suggest you stop giving treats to Bennie when he licks Chloe as this will reinforce his behavior of leading to him dominating her. Instead give them both treats when they are close to each other and being peaceful together. When Bennie starts to lick Chloe, I would remove or stop him. They should learn that when they are together, good things happen, treats, petting, playtime ECT.

I would not keep them separated. Bennie has now "accepted" Chloe as he is no longer hissing. You dont want to undo that progress. Now Bennie has to learn his dominance isn't ok. Pet them equally, discourage jealousy and give them time, they have only been together a week. By a cats measure, that is about 15 mins in our time.

Just my thoughts.

 

[Stella1973]

Your cats are gorgeous!!

I'm not a cat behavioral expert but here is my experience.

We have two large male cats that are siblings and also behave exactly the same way as yours.

The head licking almost always precedes both cats wrestling each other. In our case I don't believe it's a mutual cleaning as much as dominance. Greg ends up on top of Arnold and holding him by the neck. Usually there is a lot of deep growling from Arnold, but no real fighting. Arnold can hold his own against Greg and in fact dominates Greg around the house: will take Greg's food from him, keeps Greg out of my bedroom, when I am there, picks the best seat in the TV room, ECT.

I suggest you stop giving treats to Bennie when he licks Chloe as this will reinforce his behavior of leading to him dominating her. Instead give them both treats when they are close to each other and being peaceful together. When Bennie starts to lick Chloe, I would remove or stop him. They should learn that when they are together, good things happen, treats, petting, playtime ECT.

I would not keep them separated. Bennie has now "accepted" Chloe as he is no longer hissing. You dont want to undo that progress. Now Bennie has to learn his dominance isn't ok. Pet them equally, discourage jealousy and give them time, they have only been together a week. By a cats measure, that is about 15 mins in our time.

Just my thoughts.

Thank you! I know it’s very early days and I don’t want to rush it. She is just so tiny and he’s a moose. It makes me very nervous and I try not act that way so they don’t sense my apprehension. I’ve never introduced cats before as previous cats were always litter mates. It’s just so hard to tell if Bennie is accepting her or not. I am doing my very best to not change any of Bennie’s routines. He still gets his daily walks, he gets me all to himself when I get up for work (1:30 am lol) for 2 hours while Chloé sleeps. I take turns playing with them. I’m just a nervous wreck right now. I think I’ll relax once Chloé gains a little weight as she’s such a peanut at 2.9 lbs and Bennie is a hefty 13 in comparison. We are increasing their contact a little bit each day. I haven’t really seen Bennie act jealous just extremely curious. Thank you again, it eases my nerves a little.

 

[ArtNJ]

Play is always unequal with a big size difference. Cats of around a year are still stupid enthusiastic for play and not so considerate, so its pretty normal that they will have a kitten squealing a bit, and seeking to disengage from play. But here is the key thing: the kittens will come right back in a few minutes and act like nothing happened, even initiate play with the big cat. That tells you its not such a big deal. What it seems to be is that the big cat will make the kitten feel discomfort on the level of a head noogie at times. The kitten doesn't like it, but it doesn't stop them from being friends, or the kitten from wanting to be with big bro. So you dont need to worry at all, and can let them do their thing. You really cant stop it as only age will have the older cat play more "nicely". You can gently break it up if the kitten seems unable to disengae and miserable, but you certainly dont need too and its totally safe to let them be together unsupervised.

You'll actually see a benefit to letting them be together full time. The older cat will no longer have the Christmas Morning type of effect when it sees the kitten, and they will coexist in a more chill manner at times. With shorter visits, it will always be Christmas Morning and the older cat will be super excited to play with his new toy

 

[Stella1973]

Play is always unequal with a big size difference. Cats of around a year are still stupid enthusiastic for play and not so considerate, so its pretty normal that they will have a kitten squealing a bit, and seeking to disengage from play. But here is the key thing: the kittens will come right back in a few minutes and act like nothing happened, even initiate play with the big cat. That tells you its not such a big deal. What it seems to be is that the big cat will make the kitten feel discomfort on the level of a head noogie at times. The kitten doesn't like it, but it doesn't stop them from being friends, or the kitten from wanting to be with big bro. So you dont need to worry at all, and can let them do their thing. You really cant stop it as only age will have the older cat play more "nicely". You can gently break it up if the kitten seems unable to disengae and miserable, but you certainly dont need too and its totally safe to let them be together unsupervised.

You'll actually see a benefit to letting them be together full time. The older cat will no longer have the Christmas Morning type of effect when it sees the kitten, and they will coexist in a more chill manner at times. With shorter visits, it will always be Christmas Morning and the older cat will be super excited to play with his new toy

I like the Christmas morning analogy! There’s so much conflicting information on the best way to introduce. So I’m taking the middle of the road approach. I’m not too keen on keeping them separated for weeks with no contact nor am I keen on just here she is figure it out. It is reassuring though that I don’t need to worry so much. Ugghhh. The only change I’ve seen in Bennie is that he’s a bit more talkative and a little bit more snuggly. He’s the follow you everywhere but only touch me when I say you can so the extra snuggles is quite surprising.

 

[ArtNJ]

You certainly wont do any harm with that approach, as long as their desire to be together doesn't drive you crazy

 

[Hobiflowery]

I need some advice and/or reassurance. I have my resident cat 10 month old Bennie and brought home a 13 1/2 week kitten Chloé last week. We have been doing slow introduction as best as we can as I can’t just keep the kitten holed up in the cat room 24/7 as she is a well socialized kitten who is used to being around many cats and kittens. We have a mesh pop up catio that we use when we take her out of the cat room so that they can see and smell each other but can not get to one another. Bennie stays next to the tent most of the time and will bunny hop around the tent and occasionally bop her. He hasn’t hissed with one exception the day we brought her home and he smelled the carrier. No hissing from him since. We take Chloé out of her tent a couple times a day and monitor the interactions. At first Bennie will approach sniffing her, then will start licking her head (we praise him and give him a treat when he does this) but then he pins her down and bites her neck or throat. We let it play out until Chloé starts to cry as we don’t want to impede on the natural process but I’m concerned that Bennie is going to do this every time she’s out and about. If she runs he will chase her and repeat process. I just don’t know if these are good signs or if we need to just completely keep her separated still. I don’t want Chloé hurt or feel neglected but I also don’t want Bennie agitated. They are both Siberians from the same breeder and have the same father. Pic of my babies just because they’re gorgeous. View attachment 452245

Hi there, I'm going through the same experience and was lucky to stumble onto your post
We recently introduced Milo (14 weeks) to Sammy (2 years) and we have been seeing the same behavior as well so it did make ne

 

[Hobiflowery]

Hi there, I'm going through the same experience and was lucky to stumble onto your post
We recently introduced Milo (14 weeks) to Sammy (2 years) and we have been seeing the same behavior as well so it did make ne

Uff sorry accidentally posted too fast!
What I wanted to say was it did make worry as well! I have checked Milo daily if he's hurt in any way from the rough play but he's fine. I always heard male cats play more rough but I was also worried about the size difference. I guess in our case it's a mix from rough play and dominance sometimes. Sammy does the licking then biting thing as well. However Milo always immediately goes back to him or sometimes starts it so I feel like it isn't as bad as it looks. He headbutts Sammy a lot and often purrs near him. They love chasing each other. They aren't snuggly yet but they lay next to each other a lot. I do think they are friends already Sammy too seems a bit jealous when we give Milo attention so we try to equally divide it as possible. I will watch it the next few weeks and hope they will be a little less rough. How has it progressed with your two cats?