Non recognition aggression

[D_H]

you can get a pet gate that they can see through and reach through, do that

I hate the fact that we might need one I was so confident that "it won't happen to us"...

Rub a blanket on one cat then rub the other cat with it. Do it for the other cat as well. Use the same brush for each, let them smell it.

We've done that, several times, I guess we should do it on a daily basis.

Try calming collars - they do work

Not sure what they are, will read about it! In the past we had hard time with a simple collar..

Also be conscious that your own anxiety does have an effect on the cats so try to be conscious of this.

I wish I knew how to deal with the situation better.. as we're keeping one cat closed on one room - I spend most of the day locked as well with her. It's hard to handle, and I am trying..

Many thanks for your help and all the tips L Lucy&Petra !

 

[cleoandsuki87]

I'm sorry to hear that your cats aren't making more progress. I would suggest that for your own mental health, you take a break from locking yourself in the room with the one cat. I definitely think both cats need and deserve lots of attention, but it doesn't have to literally be all day, each cat getting it's own 1:1 baby sitter. I mean, most cats are left alone for a minimum of 8.5 hours per day while their humans are at work, and they adjust. In fact, I'm sure most are asleep most of the time and aren't that torn up about it. And who knows, maybe the cats will be more motivated/curious about interacting with the other one, if they don't each have their own human with them all of the time? Feel free to take or leave the advice; it just seems to me that the being "locked up" with the one cat is really taking it's toll on you and making this even more difficult.

 

[Lucy&Petra]

I totally agree with this!

 

[klunick]

I am going to try something today to hopefully get them to bond together over a stressful event. Saw something similar on one of the vet TV shows. Plan on putting them in separate carriers and going for a long-ish car ride. I am hoping the stress of the carrier and ride will let them forget they currently hate each other.

This seemed to work... sort of. I can at least have the basement door open when I am home. So far, neither had ventured into each other's space but Gracie will come upstairs and walk around when Boone is in my youngest's room. At least with having the door open, it doesn't seem like Gracie is trapped down there which is helping my heart.

 

[klunick]

Boone and Gracie just saw each other for the first time in about a week. Boone hissed and ran away and Gracie was going to chase him but I caught her before she could get too far up the stairs.

 

[D_H]

I'll start by saying thanks, and that I believe it's behind us!

Second week of complete separation: We were playing with them, simultaneously, at both sides of the door - several times during the day (usually we play with them 5-10 minutes before their evening meal).
I understand now that by doing so, We've rebuilt Jean's (the aggressor) confidence;

Whenever I've moved Torti, from the bedroom to the study room and vice versa- Jean would go in and spend time in that room. She was more curious about the locked doors and constantly tried to get in.

We then moved to feeding with the door open, just a bit and for a minute or so. Couple of days later and we've opened the door during playtime! It was hard (for me, emotionally speaking) because Jean would be herself and just play, while Torti looked tensed and ran around the house. She'd play again only when inside the room.

Eventually (after I cracked and was willing to give away either of them, or my spouse, or myself!) on Friday we've let them hang together and.. they were OK with each other!
Jean was somewhere between curious and indifference, hissed at Torti just once when we gave them treats.
We've done it again several times during the weekend. There were chasing, and I believe that one of them tried to ran away while the other one thought it was a play (several times, and every time a it was a different cat that was being chased lol).

I really believe that Jean thinks there's a new cat around, and she trying to learn how to play (and, of course, show her who's the boss. And Torti? She's just being Torti

***

I would suggest that for your own mental health, you take a break from locking yourself in the room with the one cat. I

Generally speaking, you are right. The situation is that I work from home, and so I already spend most of the day in one room - it's just that now every time I leave the room - bathroom or coffee break - I need to be cautious, make sure no cat is trying to leave or enter the room.

each cat getting it's own 1:1 baby sitter.

Whenever one of them was left alone, they'd cry and scratch the door (Torti) or cry and break into the kitchen (Jean) to get our attention. But cases were hard on me, for numerous reasons. Not to say that you are wrong, just to explain that the past weeks were nothing like before.

 

[D_H]

Took me a while to find a good picture of them together.. this is is from Dec 2020.

Jean & Torti;
Jean the mean eyed cat and Torti, the most beautiful tortoiseshell cat on the net

 

[cleoandsuki87]

So glad things have improved! It is hard listening to one being "locked up" crying and trying to get out of the room.

My girls are doing pretty well also. I also think that Suki truly doesn't remember and thinks that Cleo is a "new cat" but she is adjusting. I've only heard one hiss in about 48 hours. Most of the time they are fine being in the same room and ignoring each other. Occasionally they sniff the other. They are playing chase games sometimes, which can escalate, but I haven't seen signs that either is actively trying to hurt the other one. They separate on their own if things start to get intense. Today was the first day I left them out alone in the house, while I ran errands for about 2 hours. When I came back they were both chilling in the same room. I do wish they'd go back to being snuggle buddies, but at least there is peace in the house and I don't feel like I have to watch/worry about them every second.

 

[D_H]

When I came back they were both chilling in the same room.

That's great!

I do wish they'd go back to being snuggle buddies

I'm no expert, but I believe that time, along with positive reinforcement and games will help to get them there

 

[cleoandsuki87]

I am ecstatic! I went out to lunch. When I came back, the cats were sitting together on the top of the couch, snuggling and grooming! Finally back to being friends.

 

[D_H]

That is so amazing!!

Mine are sleeping together and still chasing each other, and it gets rough at time (I think I heard a hiss once or twice- but they hang out together almost immediately)

Who'd thought cats can be so complicated hehe...

 

[rubysmama]

I'll start by saying thanks, and that I believe it's behind us!

Excellent news!

 

[D_H]

I really believe that Jean thinks there's a new cat around

Yup, I'm convinced that she thinks it's a new cat, and honestly, I think that she likes her better than the old one !

I haven't seen them sleeping together like that in the past year, or maybe more!

 

[AngieB93]

I was just googling as much info as I could on this because I am now experiencing this for the first time ever, and it's heart breaking

My two boys are litter mates, and one of them had to go to the vet (and did end up having to stay the night). His brother is now trying to attack him and I'm at a loss and shaking/crying about everything going on. The reintroduction is even harder since 1) I've never had to introduce cats before, and 2) I live alone so I have to try to go about all of this on my own. I feel really lost.

 

[arr]

We are dealing with this again after our boy went to the vet. It’s very upsetting but thankfully we know the steps and just have to be patient. It’s become clear that one of our girls has this tendency and every time one of the others goes to the vet, this is going to happen. So next time, we are going to preemptively separate her and just start the reintroduction process as soon as we get home. This should prevent any initial attack which could make things worse and hopefully shorten the length of the process.

 

[mani]

arr are you also using the vanilla essence trick mentioned earlier in the thread?
I put it on the cat left at home before I take the other to the vet, so they're used to that scent, then put it on the other before I bring them home from the vet. That way it's more 'entrenched' in their scent mind.

 

[arr]

I haven’t tried the vanilla yet. From past experiences, we have had good success rubbing them down with a soft cloth and rubbing that on each of them. I will definitely try the vanilla if we get stuck.

 

[D_H]

We are dealing with this again after our boy went to the vet. It’s very upsetting but thankfully we know the steps and just have to be patient.

Hi
That's exactly our case; one time we took Jean (the aggressor) to the vet, when we came back it was her who slapped the other cat, that stayed at home!

Hope it'll be a short one for you

 

[Alldara]

Wow! I just got to the thread and want you to all know awesome job for how hard you worked.

You were discouraged at first but you had actually made some progress with the length of time they were able to be together.

The vanilla isn't an instant fix, but it can help. Rubbing each down with a blanket is similar. You're building a family smell. If you're at the point of reintroducing them, it's for building the amount of time they can be together, not for letting them fully be together

In the future, I really do recommend that if you have to take only one cat to the vet for whatever reason (it happens, especially for emergencies as they age), put the vet cat in that room for a bit by themselves to decompress. Give some food, they should have water and litter already there and put on some cat calming music (with purring if you can, on any streaming service). About 20 minutes to 2 hours is good.

Imagine you had a REALLY stressful doctor appointment and then you got home and your housemate was trying to inspect every inch of you. You probably wouldn't like it and be upset.

Giving the cat that time to decompress (and maybe air out and start to smell like home), can really deter this type of agression. You can let the other cat smell the carrier as well, so they can find out the news without being invasive.

 

[arr]

Wow! I just got to the thread and want you to all know awesome job for how hard you worked.

You were discouraged at first but you had actually made some progress with the length of time they were able to be together.

The vanilla isn't an instant fix, but it can help. Rubbing each down with a blanket is similar. You're building a family smell. If you're at the point of reintroducing them, it's for building the amount of time they can be together, not for letting them fully be together

In the future, I really do recommend that if you have to take only one cat to the vet for whatever reason (it happens, especially for emergencies as they age), put the vet cat in that room for a bit by themselves to decompress. Give some food, they should have water and litter already there and put on some cat calming music (with purring if you can, on any streaming service). About 20 minutes to 2 hours is good.

Imagine you had a REALLY stressful doctor appointment and then you got home and your housemate was trying to inspect every inch of you. You probably wouldn't like it and be upset.

Giving the cat that time to decompress (and maybe air out and start to smell like home), can really deter this type of agression. You can let the other cat smell the carrier as well, so they can find out the news without being invasive.

Yes, up until now we would just bring the carrier in and let the cat out and that clearly isn’t working. The next vet visits are towards the end of April for bloodwork/ dental, and this time we are going to have a sanctuary room set up, cloths ready to rub them down, and using a baby gate when they reunite, just in case.

The good news is, the current reintroduction is going well. The kittens ( almost 3 years old but will forever be the kittens) are currently in the sanctuary room and their mama, the aggressor, is napping on a towel right against the door. The last three meals on either sides of the baby gates covered with a blanket have gone without incident. Last night they were playing footsie under the door with a shoelace.

Two days ago we thought it was time but we made a critical mistake and had to start over. The covered baby gate and meals had been going well so we decided to uncover it and try a little playing on either side of the gate. It went well, no hissing or growling, but in hindsight, mama was still keeping a distance, looking at them curiously, making no attempt to approach them. Well, we thought no hissing or growling this time, so we removed the gate, and she hissed and screamed and ran away. So what we’ve learned is, we want the absence of aggressive behaviors but we also need to see some positive behaviors as well. Like playing footsie under the door instead of just watching their paws from a distance, wanting to sleep up against the door like right now, and I’m hoping for wanting to sniff each other through the gate.