No, Diego, No!

[eb24]

UUUGGGGHHHH I preface that this is merely a venting post!

So I have posted before about my little guy Diego and some of his recent troubles. A few months ago I noticed that he was walking funny, missing his jumps, and becoming increasingly skittish towards things he shouldn't be afraid of (like he would hide when I would come in the door like he didn't recognize it was me). Fast forward to his vet appt and the vet agreed that, while there was nothing specific that he could see impeding his vision, something was definitely not right and we were recommended to a specialist. 

Well, we still haven't gone yet (but I swear we are going Monday) and in the interim I have been trying to make whatever adjustments I can to make Diego as comfortable as possible. It seemed for awhile that his night vision was gone so I added extra lighting so he could see better, as well as some other accommodations. And, it seems to be on and off. Some nights I turn off the lights and he sits and wails and waits for me to come get him, yet a few nights ago he chased and caught a moth in dim light with no problem. What the heck?!?!?!?

Fast forward again to last night. I am all about the routine (and hence happy cats) and had everything (lighting, ect) status quo. Diego was laying with me in the big armchair watching a movie when, out of nowhere, he jumped up, ran over to the front door and started meowing, growling, and jumping at the peephole. The same peephole on the same door that has been there every single day of his very young life. I watched him for a minute, not sure what to do, when he suddenly switched tactics and started hurling himself, and I mean  hurling himself  headfirst into the door and wailing at the top of his lungs. I ran over and grabbed him and he was clearly terrified about something. What, I have no idea (and no, there was nothing and no one in the breezeway). His eyes were like saucers and he was rigid as a board. I tried to comfort him but of course felt totally helpless. 

After a few hours the incident seemed to have passed and we went on with our normal routine. Then this morning, he was sitting on his favorite perch in the closet and I reached up to pet him. He got up, stretched, and just walked forward like it was no thing. Except, of course, he's 6 feet off the ground and totally dive bombed it. Thankfully he was able to right himself and is fine, but how on earth could he have not know where he was, to the point that he didn't even try to jump???? 

I am beyond guesses at this point so I suppose we just have to wait for our appointment with the specialist to get a better sense of if it's his vision or neurological or what. I just feel so bad and so helpless. I don't know what to do to make things easier and less scary for him and it just breaks my heart. 

I suppose the only silver lining in all this so far is I have seen a huge change in his and Ella's relationship. They are never on top of each other but they are always close to one another, and I frequently see them walking slowly side by side like she is guiding him. When Diego started having his "incident" last night Ella flew across the room like a freaking bullet to try and help him but it was clear that even she didn't know what to do. After I picked him up she followed me to the couch and started grooming him like crazy in what I can only assume was a beautiful sentiment to try and calm him. So, at least he has her for guidance to help him navigate a world that I just can't seem to understand. 

I'm just so frustrated in not understanding why this is happening or what is causing it, and terrified that it's only going to get worse. The specialist we are seeing is specifically for vision, and I am not 100% sure that's really what's going on anymore. My big concern (that my vet and I discussed) is that it is neurological and that there won't be a simple, if any, solutions available. Obviously I will deal with whatever it is and he's never going anywhere but I just ache seeing him so confused and scared. 

What is going on in that cute little brain of yours, Diego?!?!!?!? Help me to understand and help you!!!!! 

 

[catnamedpanda]

I'm so sorry Diego is still having issues.

Hopefully the specialist will be able to at least tell you what is wrong.

 

[natalie_ca]

Tons of vibes for little Diego!!! 

 

[swampwitch]

I hope you figure it out! 

for Diego.

Just curious, does anyone else (human) live with you?

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Poor Diego!  I hope you get some answers!

 

[AbbysMom]

I'm so sorry to read that you are still having issues. I hope the visit to the specialist today goes well.

 

[eb24]

Thank you all for the wonderful support. I needed a little Diego boost!

So we did have our appointment today and I loved, loved, loved the Doctor (excellent call Katachtig)! . He was very gentle but thorough and they did everything they could to make him comfortable (even took his blanket out of his carrier and wrapped him up in it so he would feel more secure). And, thankfully, Diego's vision seems to be fine- he had no signs of cataracts or damage to the retina. Obviously I'm thrilled about this but it's still a little frustrating as having a tangible diagnosis is of course easier to deal with. We did talk at length about Diego's  symptoms and background and he agreed that based on that information and just observing his mannerisms that he clearly has some neurological problems. So, we are pretty much back to square one.

I did call my regular vet to discuss the next steps and we both agreed for the time being to just keep an observation journal and try and keep him as comfortable as possible. He is slightly worried that it may be the beginning of Feline Hyperstesia but said that it was, of course, very difficult to diagnose. I don't want to put Diego on heavy duty meds if I don't have to so the next few months are going to be an observation period (unless of course he has serious behavioral changes). I set up a spreadsheet to track his behavior and see if I can connect any dots to time of day, environment, lighting- anything to see what his triggers are. I am also strongly thinking about taking him to the holistic vet and maybe trying some herbal drops first to see if that helps in any way. But, I think first I need some more observation time so I can go in with a more specific set of behaviors and triggers that we need to try and work through. Of course if he needs meds then we will do that but I don't just want to start giving him a whole bunch of things. I want to have more information first and know it's in his best interest to even try it. 

So, even though I didn't get any definitive answers I am very glad we went because that rules out a whole host of problems. Sometimes, knowing what isn't wrong can be as helpful as knowing what is! As hard as it is to still not know what's going on I at least feel better knowing that it isn't because of something fixable that I wasn't properly addressing. 

As traumatic as today was for him I will say my little guy was such a trooper! Everyone ooh-ed and ahh-ed over his sweet face and he did an awesome job of holding still while they examined him. When he wasn't being examined he just curled up in his carrier and chilled out. I'm sure if he could talk he would say it was all out of sheer terror but that makes me sad so I'm going to choose to believe it was just out of good manners!

 The highlight for sure was when they put him on the floor to watch him walk and he beelined for the trashcan and dived in headfirst with his little butt sticking up in the air. That boy sure does love his trashcans! 

Thank you again for all of the support. I'm sure I will have many other venting sessions as we try and work through this new phase!