New Shelter Cat With A Small Dog

[C00LBEANS]

Hi all, I'm new here so I'm sorry if this isn't the right thread.

I recently moved into an apartment with my roommate and my 7-lb. chorkie that I've had since he was eight weeks old (he's about four now). He's a great little dog, the smartest I've ever had. Even as I type this there are annoying dogs barking outside and he's just napping in his bed next to me. Which is why I was perfectly fine having my roommate adopt a cat. I'd lived with cats before (my chorkie hadn't, but he's not aggressive and so well-trained) so I knew about the whole litter box and feeding and meowing and all that stuff.

So we got a cat. We went to a free-range shelter, where they told us, 'sit down and let the cats come to you, you'll find one!" Instead my roommate went and chose a cat that was sitting off to the side. She accepted his initial affection, and we took her home.

But here's the deal - it's been over a month, and I still don't feel like the cat is 'fitting in' to our apartment. She doesn't seem like a 'snuggler' to me (my roommate claims she is at night), and she keeps trying to escape if we leave a window or a door open. This cat was also a 'no dogs' cat, which is really unfortunate because I was hoping that she'd be good company for my dog, who doesn't have a playmate since we moved. He's trying so hard to be friends with her, going slow and inviting her to sniff him and everything. But the moment he gets less than a foot away from her, she turns and stalks off, presumably back to my roommate's room. I know she's trying to set boundaries, and I know it's about a respect thing, but it's heartbreaking to watch when he's tried to be friendly and play for the 50th time. This isn't what I wanted for a cat. I'm not even sure it's what my roommate wanted. She won't even sit on the couch if my dog's napping on my lap, and I know my roommate wants something he can cuddle with while on the couch too.

I'm not sure I can do this for another month, let alone several. I want the cat to be happy and have a nice home, I'm just not sure if ours is the right one for her, especially with my dog. I don't even know how to bring this up to my roommate, since he's just so attached to her already and I don't want to my roommate feel like I'm verbally attacking him or his cat. How long does it take a shelter cat to get comfortable around a 7-lb. chorkie? Is there anything I can do to help the cat and my dog get closer? Or should I just talk to my roommate and let him know my feelings and that I'm looking at other potential cats?

 

[Elphaba09]

Are you sure you are not caught up on the fact that your roommate selected one instead of being "selected" by the cat? There really is nothing wrong with selecting a cat. If your roommate is attached and the cat is affectionate towards him, that is something. Be nice to them both and try to encourage the cat to trust/like you. Cats, like most animals, can tell how a person feels about them.

My question is why get a cat that specifically stated no dogs if you have a dog? What kind of introducing did you do?

 

[neely]

Welcome to TCS! I'm glad you joined the site and came here for support. First, thank you for adopting your new cat from a shelter. Since you mentioned only having the cat for a little over a month, that is not very long. It definitely takes time and patience and, of course, every cat is an individual. This Article explains it better: Cats As Individuals
Has the new kitty had a physical exam by your vet after bringing her home?

Speaking from personal experience, one of our cats never really accepted our dog but co-existed with him. After our cat passed and we adopted a new cat she accepted the dog wholeheartedly. We had no way of knowing beforehand but it was kismet. Here is a helpful Article about introducing a cat and dog:
How To Safely Introduce A Cat And A Dog
And one more Article on the same subject:
Introducing Cats To Dogs

Your new cat may take longer to adjust and feel stressed out. Here is an Article that discusses some of the potential stressors and how to help your new cat:
Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats

Good luck, please keep us posted on your new cat's progress.

 

[Q2U]

I'd give it some time @Coolbeans. It sounds a heckuva lot better than my 1-year old feral (we adopted Andy when he was 5 weeks) who enjoys stalking my 4 Chihuahuas (3 to 7 pounds each), jumping them, wrapping them, and taking them down. Needless to say, my dogs are a tad stressed.

 

[jcat]

since he's just so attached to her

If that's the case, it would be horribly unfair to insist the cat be returned because she hasn't instantly become friends with your dog.

She isn't attacking your dog or eliminating inappropriately, which certainly can and does happen. In that, you're in a fortunate situation. The cat needs time to adjust to a new home as well as new roommates - both human and canine. A friendship may still develop. Even if it doesn't, she'll most probably lose a great deal of her fear given some time.

Even if your roommate had chosen a "dog-friendly cat", there would have been no guarantee that the two would have (instantly) bonded. We had a 3-dog family adopt a dog-friendly cat from the shelter in mid-summer and are still getting weekly progress reports. It was love at first sight between two of the dogs and the cat, but it took the third dog and cat a couple of weeks to tolerate each other. They're now sharing the sofa and bed, for which the owners are very grateful.