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New Rescue Cat - Am I Doing The Right Thing?
- Thread starter thelittlewraith
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Another week! I think this is week 5 or 6 with Maggie, and as predicted, there have been some setbacks. Thank you everyone for your calming words and advice; I've come back to this thread a lot and re-read a lot of what everyone had to say, and it's been lovely.
Last week I was able to chat with a vet over the phone and send some new and old pictures, and the vet said everything looked normal and just to keep an eye out. So I didn't end up taking her to the vet, but unfortunately I think my first attempt was a big setback.
Maggie no longer sleeps under my bed or comes into the bedroom at all, which makes me sad for her. She's been hiding more and seems a little more skittish around me, which is understandable. Unfortunately, I had to leave for the weekend right after the whole vet ordeal, so she was alone for two and half days right afterwards.
However, Maggie is now LOVING her cat tree. She spends a lot of time on it (though she hides when I enter the room and takes a little while to reemerge) looking out the window and napping. Interestingly, she doesn't seem to care for the cat condo, which I thought she'd be all over, but prefers the platforms. I haven't seen her on her chair since, though she may sleep there judging by the amount of fur.
Last night we also played a little bit with the cat dancer, and she did come up to sniff my hand, although promptly backed away again.
I also set up a Feliway diffuser, though as of yet haven't noticed much of a difference.
I'm trying to keep both of our spirits up and move through this set back. Attaching a photo of her on her cat tree!
Last week I was able to chat with a vet over the phone and send some new and old pictures, and the vet said everything looked normal and just to keep an eye out. So I didn't end up taking her to the vet, but unfortunately I think my first attempt was a big setback.
Maggie no longer sleeps under my bed or comes into the bedroom at all, which makes me sad for her. She's been hiding more and seems a little more skittish around me, which is understandable. Unfortunately, I had to leave for the weekend right after the whole vet ordeal, so she was alone for two and half days right afterwards.
However, Maggie is now LOVING her cat tree. She spends a lot of time on it (though she hides when I enter the room and takes a little while to reemerge) looking out the window and napping. Interestingly, she doesn't seem to care for the cat condo, which I thought she'd be all over, but prefers the platforms. I haven't seen her on her chair since, though she may sleep there judging by the amount of fur.
Last night we also played a little bit with the cat dancer, and she did come up to sniff my hand, although promptly backed away again. I also set up a Feliway diffuser, though as of yet haven't noticed much of a difference.
I'm trying to keep both of our spirits up and move through this set back. Attaching a photo of her on her cat tree!
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That is great news on the vet discussion!!
I would not at all worry about the attempt to take her to the vet as a setback. She will be fine in time. It is normal for a cat to have some apprehensions after the first attempt at crating etc. I am not surprised or worried.
It is ok if she isn't going under the bed or even going into the bedroom (that we know of). It very well she has found another place to hang out. I am guessing you tried to get her in the crate when in your bedroom?
AWESOME on the cat tree!!! Height brings confidence so I love to hear she is going on the levels. Sometimes some cats don't like the condos. It just depends.
Playing is GREAT. And sniffing your hand is great. It is a process. Try to have some treats to make a positive association with your hand and something good (food). Try to always have your hand at her eye level or below (never from above). Just stay positive, calm and confident around her as cats take on our emotions. Let her "do her thing". Use food as a positive association.
This picture of her on the cat tree shows a positive situation. She does not look frightened or anything. She actually looks happy and secure and confident.
Please don't worry, this is a small setback and is very common. Just use food and just let her feel the aura of your love for her. If you are eating a chicken breast or thigh or something offer her some. And treats. Be as calm and confident and loving around her as normal. The more she sees everything is normal and fine the more secure she will feel.
You are doing great so don't worry. I don't read anything to worry about or be concerned about. Everything I have read is normal and expected. She has been through a lot and had a lot of change (which cats do not like). Just try to get a routine for her and some stability and she will settle in even more. And just be your loving self to her and feed her well.
All will be fine and we will be here for you every step of the way. I am highly confident all will be well. Always feel free to post and ask anything. We are happy to help.
I would not at all worry about the attempt to take her to the vet as a setback. She will be fine in time. It is normal for a cat to have some apprehensions after the first attempt at crating etc. I am not surprised or worried.
It is ok if she isn't going under the bed or even going into the bedroom (that we know of). It very well she has found another place to hang out. I am guessing you tried to get her in the crate when in your bedroom?
AWESOME on the cat tree!!! Height brings confidence so I love to hear she is going on the levels. Sometimes some cats don't like the condos. It just depends.
Playing is GREAT. And sniffing your hand is great. It is a process. Try to have some treats to make a positive association with your hand and something good (food). Try to always have your hand at her eye level or below (never from above). Just stay positive, calm and confident around her as cats take on our emotions. Let her "do her thing". Use food as a positive association.
This picture of her on the cat tree shows a positive situation. She does not look frightened or anything. She actually looks happy and secure and confident.
Please don't worry, this is a small setback and is very common. Just use food and just let her feel the aura of your love for her. If you are eating a chicken breast or thigh or something offer her some. And treats. Be as calm and confident and loving around her as normal. The more she sees everything is normal and fine the more secure she will feel.
You are doing great so don't worry. I don't read anything to worry about or be concerned about. Everything I have read is normal and expected. She has been through a lot and had a lot of change (which cats do not like). Just try to get a routine for her and some stability and she will settle in even more. And just be your loving self to her and feed her well.
All will be fine and we will be here for you every step of the way. I am highly confident all will be well. Always feel free to post and ask anything. We are happy to help.
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Aw, she looks so happy up there on her cat tree! I'm glad that's been a positive addition to her life. For us, Juniper's cat tree was a real key to building her confidence because she would eventually allow us to approach her and then even pet her while she was on it. To this day, she still jumps up there to ask for pets. As Maggie gets more confident and starts to feel ownership of her tree, maybe she will feel more comfortable allowing you to approach her while she's up there.
As for sleeping arrangements, many cats are very fickle about where they choose to sleep. We go through phases where I have a cat stretched across my feet every night all night and phases where she doesn't even enter the bedroom at night. It may not be a sign of regression or related to the vet visit/your trip, so don't worry too much about it.
As for sleeping arrangements, many cats are very fickle about where they choose to sleep. We go through phases where I have a cat stretched across my feet every night all night and phases where she doesn't even enter the bedroom at night. It may not be a sign of regression or related to the vet visit/your trip, so don't worry too much about it.
What I found with our guys is that there are definite "play places." I think that this is a variation on having a safe room for the cats - its a place where they feel comfortable, confident and relaxed. For us, this spot is the front foyer - it has a rug and is fairly open - great for running around in.
Oddly, one of our guys would just not tolerate being approached if he was "up" on a table, cat tree, or whatever. He would quickly hop down to the floor. He has gotten better, going from totally running away, to moving a few feet away, to not hopping down anymore.
YES and AMEN to all of the above! And the fact that she is "going high" is very positive. You're getting there.
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Hello everyone!
I wanted to post an update since I have good news to share - we turned a real corner this week, and Maggie has started asking for pets!
I've been following a lot of the excellent advice here, and I cannot believe the progress she's made. She went from tentatively sniffing my hand and backing away to coming up and staring at me until I put my hand out to pet her! Her level of affection and courage have just astounded me. Now, when we have one of our "cuddle sessions," she'll rub her cheeks and back over everything - my hands, my arms, the coffee table, the couch, the doorways. I've even heard her purring! If I move too quickly she might skitter away, but usually comes back for my pets when I call her. She doesn't hesitate to eat treats out of my hand and lick my fingers, and she's starting to recognize the "treat sound" when I open the bag. She's more energized during play time, and has even rolled onto her back to show me her tummy.
I think she's also becoming more confident in the rest of the apartment, which is wonderful to see, although her cat tree is still her favourite place to be. But I've watched her explore the dining room and the kitchen, and even spend a few minutes in my bedroom again. Just last night, a very loud truck passed in the street a few times, and she took herself off to the bedroom to hide out until things were quiet again. Maybe this means she feels safe in the bedroom too?
We still have a lot to work on - I always let her approach me and not the other way around. She prefers to hide out in her spot behind the couch if I'm moving around a lot and making noise, and I haven't yet been able to walk up to her in the cat tree. I'm starting to notice a few of her quirks, too; she seems to feel more comfortable when I'm sitting on the couch rather than the floor, as it took me a while to coax her out to see me when I was sitting on her level. I would love to see her hop up on the couch or the bed with me, but we're not there yet.
It's only been a few days of this, but it's been so unbelievably rewarding to experience. It makes me so happy to see her feeling more comfortable, and I am very excited to watch my baby progress even more. We may have a few set backs (I need to vacuum soon), but the past few months have been so worth it just for this.
I wanted to post an update since I have good news to share - we turned a real corner this week, and Maggie has started asking for pets!
I've been following a lot of the excellent advice here, and I cannot believe the progress she's made. She went from tentatively sniffing my hand and backing away to coming up and staring at me until I put my hand out to pet her! Her level of affection and courage have just astounded me. Now, when we have one of our "cuddle sessions," she'll rub her cheeks and back over everything - my hands, my arms, the coffee table, the couch, the doorways. I've even heard her purring! If I move too quickly she might skitter away, but usually comes back for my pets when I call her. She doesn't hesitate to eat treats out of my hand and lick my fingers, and she's starting to recognize the "treat sound" when I open the bag. She's more energized during play time, and has even rolled onto her back to show me her tummy.
I think she's also becoming more confident in the rest of the apartment, which is wonderful to see, although her cat tree is still her favourite place to be. But I've watched her explore the dining room and the kitchen, and even spend a few minutes in my bedroom again. Just last night, a very loud truck passed in the street a few times, and she took herself off to the bedroom to hide out until things were quiet again. Maybe this means she feels safe in the bedroom too?
We still have a lot to work on - I always let her approach me and not the other way around. She prefers to hide out in her spot behind the couch if I'm moving around a lot and making noise, and I haven't yet been able to walk up to her in the cat tree. I'm starting to notice a few of her quirks, too; she seems to feel more comfortable when I'm sitting on the couch rather than the floor, as it took me a while to coax her out to see me when I was sitting on her level. I would love to see her hop up on the couch or the bed with me, but we're not there yet.
It's only been a few days of this, but it's been so unbelievably rewarding to experience. It makes me so happy to see her feeling more comfortable, and I am very excited to watch my baby progress even more. We may have a few set backs (I need to vacuum soon), but the past few months have been so worth it just for this.
She looks so sweet!!
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Awwwwww, yay! This made me smile so much! She is SO cute and I’m so happy to hear that your love and patience is paying off 
I know you must be over the moon!
I know you must be over the moon!- Joined
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FANTASTIC!!! GREAT work!!!
She is SO GORGEOUS!!!
It is totally normal to still be skittish at faster movements, noises, etc. The great thing is she realizes it is not a threat and she comes back. It is always how fast they rebound that is telling.
Showing their tummy is a sign of great trust as that is when they are most vulnerable. GREAT sign of the trust that has been built.
It is fine that her cat tree is her favorite place. Height is confidence building.
Retreating to the bedroom for safety from the nasty truck noise is also fine. Seeking safety. She must feel safe in the bedroom. And of course she was safe which builds confidence and trust.
Sure there is more work but you have gotten over the difficult part. Everything you mention is normal. Great that you are letting her approach you. The more she builds trust and confidence the more these quirks will go away. Nothing to worry about.
Your happiness will be picked up by her and lead to her feeling more secure and confident. Cats take on our emotions so the more positive we are the more they tend to be. So great.
Yes, there will be ups and downs but there is no doubt you all are in a great place. I would call the current situation success and I do think more progress can be made. Just keep up with what we all have talked about and I think the progress will be fantastic. Some cats are more cuddly than others and we'll see where she is at.
Congratulations on such great work helping her get more confident, comfortable and secure. Thank you so much for all your efforts on giving her a great home and a great life!!!
Always here if you have any questions. Keep up the great work!! You are awesome!!
You know, we always talk about the setbacks with cats like this, but really, they can happen with ANY cat! So you are doing GREAT! She's gaining confidence now, and obviously loves YOU! She's marking you as her own, rubbing on you, you know. You have become HER PERSON!
What a beautiful kitty! I haven't had time to read all the posts, but just to share some of my experience, I adopted Waffles almost 3 years ago as a 2 year old very scared most likely semi-feral cat and we progressed much as you are. It took 2 months before he would come up on my lap and then only for about one second. It took a few more months before he would sit for a good period of time. He loves loves to be scratched and it progressed from there to him being a very loving lap guy. He gives looks like "you are my favorite thing in the whole wide world." It's so heartwarming.
I still can't walk up to him without him running after almost 3 years, and can't pick him up at all, but that is not a problem. It's his comfort level.
He also runs if I move too fast, but he has to do what he needs to do. And loud noises like my mixer and blender or coffee bean grinder get him to leave the kitchen.
Congrats on your progress and it sounds amazing. You are doing wonderfully. I devoured posts here after getting Waffles- I learned sooo much- and there just so many wonderful people on this forum.
I still can't walk up to him without him running after almost 3 years, and can't pick him up at all, but that is not a problem. It's his comfort level.
He also runs if I move too fast, but he has to do what he needs to do. And loud noises like my mixer and blender or coffee bean grinder get him to leave the kitchen.
Congrats on your progress and it sounds amazing. You are doing wonderfully. I devoured posts here after getting Waffles- I learned sooo much- and there just so many wonderful people on this forum.
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Congratulations on your progress with Maggie, and thanks for sharing your good news and photos. I'm so happy for both of you!
As for hopping up on the bed/couch, I wouldn't be surprised if she sneaks up onto your bed when you're asleep as a first step...that was how Juniper first started approaching us. She seemed to understand that we were less likely to move or startle her when we were snoring away, oblivious to the world.
As for hopping up on the bed/couch, I wouldn't be surprised if she sneaks up onto your bed when you're asleep as a first step...that was how Juniper first started approaching us. She seemed to understand that we were less likely to move or startle her when we were snoring away, oblivious to the world.
Maggie sounds a lot like my former feral Barry - if you follow his rules, he is super affectionate. If something is a little out of sorts, he runs away. He used to run totally away - now he just moves about 5 - 10 feet away and there are fewer things that he doesn't like.
Now it is just a matter of time for you and Maggie. But don't expect it to be linear - its going to be a crooked path with great behaviour one day and regression the next. Sometimes - it just comes out of nowhere - one day, Barry just hopped up on the couch and laid down with me with no warning or short forays onto the couch, just hopped up and went to sleep on my feet.
Take heart though - it took about 18 months, but Barry really is a mush. Purring and making biscuits, making circles around me, and just being a playful kitty.
Now it is just a matter of time for you and Maggie. But don't expect it to be linear - its going to be a crooked path with great behaviour one day and regression the next. Sometimes - it just comes out of nowhere - one day, Barry just hopped up on the couch and laid down with me with no warning or short forays onto the couch, just hopped up and went to sleep on my feet.
Take heart though - it took about 18 months, but Barry really is a mush. Purring and making biscuits, making circles around me, and just being a playful kitty.
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Thank you so much everyone! The encouragement and support I've received here have really helped me re-adjust my expectations and take heart when it felt like we were getting nowhere. thanks to everyone for your lovely comments - of course I think she's the loveliest cat in the world, but I am a little biased.
rosegold
- I devoured a lot of what you wrote about Chai, and I can't thank you enough for offering your insight despite your loss. I am absolutely over the moon, and I do think that part of why it feels so rewarding is because it's so hard won, which I know you understand.
C calicosrspecial THANK YOU for your endless wisdom and encouragement! I've used much of your advice and it kept me from feeling totally hopeless at times, lol. I think we definitely have a lot to work on with regards to confidence, since the cat tree is one of the only places she'll "go high," but we'll get there.
I also obsessively read all of the threads I can find on adopting semi-ferals, so
pearl99
,
D
duncanmac
and
Etarre
thank you for sharing! I've read a lot of what you all wrote about Waffle, Barry, and Juniper, and it's very heartening. I definitely to keep in mind that progress isn't linear; I've had evidence of that already with Maggie, but since she's been letting me pet her every day for a week I've gotten very attached to this new level of affection. She still prefers to hide a good chunk of the time - I had some friends over the other night, and she hid out for most of the next day. My biggest concern right now is actually the vacuum - it's loud as hell, but her cat tree needs a cleaning something fierce.
Interestingly, I think Maggie is pretty into the idea of coming up onto the couch - but every time she's tried, she gets her claws stuck in the fabric! I'll be petting her and luring her "up" a little, and she'll put her front paws on the couch and promptly get her claws stuck. It freaks her out and she immediately tries to wrench them free. I try not to move or touch her as I think this would panic her more, but I'm also concerned she's going to hurt herself. There's no way I'm able to trim her nails yet, and while she does use her scratching posts, I don't think it's enough to dull her nails much. Does anyone have any suggestions, or is this something she'll have to figure out on her own?
Thank you all again for your kind words!
rosegold
- I devoured a lot of what you wrote about Chai, and I can't thank you enough for offering your insight despite your loss. I am absolutely over the moon, and I do think that part of why it feels so rewarding is because it's so hard won, which I know you understand.C calicosrspecial THANK YOU for your endless wisdom and encouragement! I've used much of your advice and it kept me from feeling totally hopeless at times, lol. I think we definitely have a lot to work on with regards to confidence, since the cat tree is one of the only places she'll "go high," but we'll get there.
I also obsessively read all of the threads I can find on adopting semi-ferals, so
pearl99
,
D
duncanmac
and
Etarre
thank you for sharing! I've read a lot of what you all wrote about Waffle, Barry, and Juniper, and it's very heartening. I definitely to keep in mind that progress isn't linear; I've had evidence of that already with Maggie, but since she's been letting me pet her every day for a week I've gotten very attached to this new level of affection. She still prefers to hide a good chunk of the time - I had some friends over the other night, and she hid out for most of the next day. My biggest concern right now is actually the vacuum - it's loud as hell, but her cat tree needs a cleaning something fierce.Interestingly, I think Maggie is pretty into the idea of coming up onto the couch - but every time she's tried, she gets her claws stuck in the fabric! I'll be petting her and luring her "up" a little, and she'll put her front paws on the couch and promptly get her claws stuck. It freaks her out and she immediately tries to wrench them free. I try not to move or touch her as I think this would panic her more, but I'm also concerned she's going to hurt herself. There's no way I'm able to trim her nails yet, and while she does use her scratching posts, I don't think it's enough to dull her nails much. Does anyone have any suggestions, or is this something she'll have to figure out on her own?
Thank you all again for your kind words!
A rubber brush does a great job and doesn't make noise. My supermarket has them in the pet section and the pet supply only has them in the dog section. I cover all tree levels and cat beds with baby receiving blankets and change them once or twice a week depending on the season. They are fairly cheap, $8-10 for a 3 pack. I've gotten most of mine from yard sales. I can't always manage a heavy vacuum cleaner so have sweeper. It does a decent job.
Waffles I have decided is a "low cat." He does not like to be up high, he won't go high in the cat trees, only the lowest level. So I have a cat cave, and a plushy bed on a low shelf of an end table so he feels secure in there with the table above. Have a cat tree by the patio door so he can keep watch over the back yard from the lowest level.I think we definitely have a lot to work on with regards to confidence, since the cat tree is one of the only places she'll "go high," but we'll get there.
I had some friends over the other night, and she hid out for most of the next day. My biggest concern right now is actually the vacuum - it's loud as hell, but her cat tree needs a cleaning something fierce.
Interestingly, I think Maggie is pretty into the idea of coming up onto the couch - but every time she's tried, she gets her claws stuck in the fabric! I'll be petting her and luring her "up" a little, and she'll put her front paws on the couch and promptly get her claws stuck. Does anyone have any suggestions, or is this something she'll have to figure out on her own?
Thank you all again for your kind words!
Could try a big beach towel or a sheet on the couch for now that her claws might not get stuck in. I've never been able to trim Waffles' claws, he'd have to be under sedation, so oh well. He lets me touch his feet when he's on my lap but no way to trim them now. Maybe in about 10 years he'll be to that point.
I have a rubber sponge and a rubber brush and they work great for getting pet hair off of things. I've also used a wiry pet brush to brush the hair and dirt out in the cat tower that wouldn't come out with a vacuum. Works great.
Waffles hides also when people are here. He got used to it and still hides but somehow knows when they leave now because he will come out as soon as they are out the door!
Think of how great of a home you've given her! She will learn trust. She knows how good you are.
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You are VERY welcome. You are doing a fantastic job and I believe you are ahead of typical progress. GREAT work. The fact she lets you pet her is amazing and a sign of so much progress and trust. When I work with ferals petting is a major milestone.
It is absolutely normal for a cat to hide when guests are over etc. It is a survival instinct and totally normal. It is not anything to worry about and will most likely improve going forward. Maybe she will hide from guests forever (I have one like that) but it is how fast they rebound that is important and that they enjoy life in general which Maggie sounds like she is.
Hiding/sleeping is again normal. Some cats like to be under things, etc. It just depends on their personalities. Cats sleep a lot of the day so it is not uncommon for them to be "hiding" for a good part of the day. A good way to get them out more is having the ability for them to look out windows (safely) to see the outdoors/wildlife.
Vacuums/blenders etc are always a challenge. They tend to go into hiding but they will realize over time that the sound does not pose a risk. I always try to do it when they are sleeping/hanging out in another room so that they aren't too exposed to the noise. And some cats do better than others. But they will learn to rebound quickly from those things. They learn that they are not a real threat. The previous poster makes a great recommendation and using a pet roller is also a good way to pick up the hair etc.
It is normal for a cat to use their nails to grab and pull themselves up. I too let them work their way out of it. The risk of them pulling out a nail tends to be small relative to risking startling her. Try to think if there is anything you can put over the couch that may be more "solid" and less likely to allow her claws to dig into them. She also will learn that she doesn't need to use her claws as much but that is less helpful at the moment.
Scratching posts are great for 2 reasons. They help control the nails and they also build confidence by getting their scent on something to help a feeling of "ownership". I would think about adding some scratching posts in certain strategic areas and she may use them more. Both in a place she likes to hang out most but also in new places to help her feel more comfortable.
Hopefully other can add better advice.
Don't worry, everything you are experiencing is normal and I believe you are ahead of expectations and I have no doubt Maggie is going to be an extremely happy cat in her new home. Keep up the great work. You are doing fantastic.
It is absolutely normal for a cat to hide when guests are over etc. It is a survival instinct and totally normal. It is not anything to worry about and will most likely improve going forward. Maybe she will hide from guests forever (I have one like that) but it is how fast they rebound that is important and that they enjoy life in general which Maggie sounds like she is.
Hiding/sleeping is again normal. Some cats like to be under things, etc. It just depends on their personalities. Cats sleep a lot of the day so it is not uncommon for them to be "hiding" for a good part of the day. A good way to get them out more is having the ability for them to look out windows (safely) to see the outdoors/wildlife.
Vacuums/blenders etc are always a challenge. They tend to go into hiding but they will realize over time that the sound does not pose a risk. I always try to do it when they are sleeping/hanging out in another room so that they aren't too exposed to the noise. And some cats do better than others. But they will learn to rebound quickly from those things. They learn that they are not a real threat. The previous poster makes a great recommendation and using a pet roller is also a good way to pick up the hair etc.
It is normal for a cat to use their nails to grab and pull themselves up. I too let them work their way out of it. The risk of them pulling out a nail tends to be small relative to risking startling her. Try to think if there is anything you can put over the couch that may be more "solid" and less likely to allow her claws to dig into them. She also will learn that she doesn't need to use her claws as much but that is less helpful at the moment.
Scratching posts are great for 2 reasons. They help control the nails and they also build confidence by getting their scent on something to help a feeling of "ownership". I would think about adding some scratching posts in certain strategic areas and she may use them more. Both in a place she likes to hang out most but also in new places to help her feel more comfortable.
Hopefully other can add better advice.
Don't worry, everything you are experiencing is normal and I believe you are ahead of expectations and I have no doubt Maggie is going to be an extremely happy cat in her new home. Keep up the great work. You are doing fantastic.
