New Kitty Is Nervous!

[kosame]

Hello!
After the passing of my beautiful baby tabby girl, Shiloh, I decided it was finally time to heal and move on a little. I recently brought home a one-year-old Bengal named Theo! I chose Theo due to my sister's cat allergies and she hasn't reacted to him at all. He's such a sweetheart too- he loves rubbing on you and rolling around, and his cat tree!
However, he appears to be very, very under-socialized. For the entire first day of having him home, he hid under the bed. I waited for him to be more comfortable and then blocked the bed off (don't worry! He has other soft dark places to hang out, where he can feel safe!). He loves attention but is extremely wary of sudden movements and loud noises- he HATES being picked up and struggles but never uses his claws on me, bless him.
It's almost like he's torn. Sometimes he's outgoing and playful and curious, but other times he's so nervous
I had to hold him down to give him his flea treatment and now he's shy with me
Honestly, I love this cat so much, I just don't know what to do! I've always had very outgoing and sociable cats, that I was able to harness-train and go places with. I want to help little Theo with his anxieties and hopefully, socialize and train him! But all in his own time, of course.
I'd love advice from anyone with experience on undersocialized kitties <3

(To my knowledge, he was never abused or harmed in any way. He's originally from a wonderful breeder, but he didn't work out with the family who got him so I adopted him!)

Pictures attached- isn't he so perfect? <3 He sure does like his windowsill!

 

[Furballsmom]

Awww, he's gorgeous!!

To help him, be more calm. Give him more space, both figuratively and in actual physical space.

As a matter of fact, literally ignore him at times, and simply go about your business. This takes emotional pressure off of him, and allows him more freedom to learn about you and his new home at his own pace.

If you can take moments here and there and just observe him, you'll learn about his quirks and preferences. Give him the chance to show you who he is and eventually maybe you'll be able to go on walks etc.

You could try different types of music at times for short periods, classical harp music, or the app Relax My Cat.

 

[ArtNJ]

You may have been lucky. He doesn't sound undersocialized necessarily. This type of behavior is a perfectly in-the-range-of-normal adjustment to a new home. In fact, I probably would not have blocked the bed if it was only a couple of days.

Let him be the boss of how you interact. Don't pick up if he doesn't want it. Pet when and where he wants. You can try luring with treats or toys.

Cats don't trust all at once, they trust in bits. So you aren't generally safe, you are safe in one spot, like when you are sitting on the couch, or when kitty is in favorite spot. Try using a call noise to signal the cat to come to the favorite spot for petting, or if you want to try approaching where they are at. This lets them know that its petting time.

Its like courting a reluctant girl/boy. Figure out what they like. Do that. Don't do other things if you can help it, especially things that could be interpreted wrong.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

He's beautiful! It actually sounds like he is doing well so far. He just needs a little time to get used to all the new patterns, new sounds, new smells, and everything.

... He loves attention but is extremely wary of sudden movements and loud noises- he HATES being picked up ...

Hm. I was reading this, and thought, "Hey! That kind of sounds like me!" lol.



I'm sorry to hear about your Shiloh.

Best wishes to you with your new friend, Theo!

 

[She's a witch]

How long have you had him? I agree he doesn't seem under socialized, but hopefully simply stressed, which is normal in the new territory. Plus changing house is never easy for a cat, he's just lost a family. Especially if you say he's come from wonderful breeder, it's unlikely that such breeder sells under socialized cat, if he does, well, he's not wonderful breeder. Just give him time, patience and lots of love.
BTW some cats, even wonderfully socialized, just hate being held up.

 

[kosame]

Thank you all so much for replies! I've had cats as long as I can remember but I had no idea is was common for them to be nervous in a new place (thinking logically it makes perfect sense, I would be nervous too if I was taken from everything I know, poor little Theo) as mine were so outgoing
He's only been home for a little while, just a few days! I haven't been holding him unless I absolutely must, like for his medication- I get it, I wouldn't like it either if some random giant just lifted me out of nowhere. I only blocked the bed because there's stuff under there that I didn't want him to get to (nothing dangerous don't worry!)- and I waited for him to come out by himself first
I feel a lot more confident about interacting with him after reading your replies, I will let him decide, and take things really slow. Even now his personality is starting to shine through- he just spent a good 15 minutes stalking a moth. He's such a joy to watch!
I feel like an anxious new mother lol thank you guys so much

 

[Furballsmom]

he just spent a good 15 minutes stalking a moth.

.

 

[Etarre]

I agree with others who have said that this is well within the normal range of cat behavior/personality. I've always had shyer cats, and the good news is that once they bond with you, it's a very strong bond. When we got Juniper, she was jumpy about similar things-- loud noises, sudden movements, etc. It took 3-4 months for her to feel comfortable in our apartment, and more like 8 to become a sweet little cuddlebug with us, but it happened eventually. Things that helped build her confidence were regular opportunities for play, designating her cat tree as 'her' space where we would only interact with her if she let us do it, and letting her have some hiding spaces. She still likes to take her afternoon nap in her favorite hiding spots even though she's fully confident with us now.

Good luck! He's adorable, and you'll do just fine once you adjust to each others' personalities.

 

[kosame]

I agree with others who have said that this is well within the normal range of cat behavior/personality. I've always had shyer cats, and the good news is that once they bond with you, it's a very strong bond. When we got Juniper, she was jumpy about similar things-- loud noises, sudden movements, etc. It took 3-4 months for her to feel comfortable in our apartment, and more like 8 to become a sweet little cuddlebug with us, but it happened eventually. Things that helped build her confidence were regular opportunities for play, designating her cat tree as 'her' space where we would only interact with her if she let us do it, and letting her have some hiding spaces. She still likes to take her afternoon nap in her favorite hiding spots even though she's fully confident with us now.

Good luck! He's adorable, and you'll do just fine once you adjust to each others' personalities.

This is comforting to hear! It's been fun starting to watch his personality shine- he's such a silly boy when he's feeling more comfortable at times! Giving him his own space (his tree) and just leaving him to himself has definitely brought his confidence up a bar, he's already starting to come see me out of his own free will! It makes me smile so much.
Thank you for your reply!

 

[Furballsmom]