New Kitten With Older Cat

[weemomma]

So, it's been a long time since I have posted on this board!

Yesterday, I found a kitten in the over 100 degree heat in a parking lot. He is super friendly and cuddly and I decided to bring him home. I already have two cats at home, one whom lives in the garage and the other who lives in the main house with me. The cat in the main house is 10 years old this November and has pretty much been alone since her companion died three years ago.

Last night, kitten hissed at older cat but older cat did not seem to mind kitten. This morning, older cat hissed at kitten and kitten didn't seem to mind older cat. This evening, I was playing with kitten in the bedroom with older cat hiding in the window. Older cat peeked out to see what was going on, watched us for about 10 minutes and then retreated. I held kitten while letting older cat see kitten and both cats started hissing. Immediately, I took kitten back to the bathroom where he has been staying.

Now, older cat is hissing at me and wants nothing to do with me. We snuggle all the time and she is telling me to go away in her own little way. She grew up with other cats. Have I waited too long to introduce another cat into our lives? Kitten is very loving and I would sincerely hesitate to rehome him. He is an angel. I don't want older cat to feel as if she is being replaced however.

For the moment, I am crying in bed while older cat sits in the window to ignore me. I bought one of those feline hormone deffuser to maybe see if that helps but it won't be delivered until next week. It's been a long time since I've had a kitten in the house. I've always been told that it's easier to introduce a kitten into a household with an older cat.

Someone please tell me that older cat won't hate me forever.

 

[abyeb]

You're awesome for rescuing this kitten!

It should be fine in some time- I think you just need to go through the formal introduction process. Here's an article to help you out: How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

If you are able to, you can always adopt another kitten, about the same age as your new kitten. That way, the young kittens can wrestle together and chase each other around, if your older cat isn't up for that kind of play. I don't think this is absolutely necessary, just an option.

As you said before, it is easier to introduce a kitten to an older cat than two older cats. Another thing I think sounds promising is that the cats are just hissing at each other, not like, trying to attack, which is why I think that, with the introduction process outlined in the article, the cats should learn to get along, and maybe even become best friends!

I think your older cat might just be redirecting aggression from the kitten, toward you, in which case, this should die down once the cats get to know each other better.

Keep us updated!

 

[weemomma]

I sincerely hope so. It's heartbreaking. The older cat is my baby. We sleep together every night. We have been with each other through a lot. I really don't want her to be so stressed that she lashes out or gets stressed. So far, she seems to be pretty stressed.

 

[abyeb]

Can you keep them totally separated for now? Spend time with each cat individually? I think the cat right now need sometime to cool down, I wouldn't try to rush introductions at this point.

 

[weemomma]

Charlie (kitten) is currently living in the bathroom until he gets vaccinated. Hariette (older cat) has the run of the rest of the house. She does get most of her water from the bathroom sink, but I have made sure she has other sources of water available.

I am currently with Charlie in the bathroom, playing before bedtime. The bathroom door had about an inch gap at the bottom so they can most definitely see one another and Charlie does cry when he's alone, but other than that, they are apart.

I plan to take the shirt I'm wearing now to place where Hariette hangs out for scents to mingle. I'm just worried that she is so cranky. She's been eating (not much) and I know she's been drinking. She's retreated a few times to her safe spots.

I guess I'm just super impatient. I want it all to happen NOW!

 

[weemomma]

Well, Charlie got about an hour of play time before bed and Hariette got an hour of play time. Hariette is not having any of it. She'll play, but no sweet purrs and I better not try and pick her up and hug her like I normally do.

I'm heartbroken.

 

[Animal Freak]

It is great that you took the kitten in. It could be a little easier with another kitten for him to play with so he doesn't harass the older cat, but absolutely not necessary. It's just going to mean that you have to take that place. I wouldn't expect the two to become friends, but I think it sounds promising. Older cats tend to get used to their routines and they don't like a change in that. There's also the fact that all cats are territorial (though some are at different levels) and the difference in age means there's a difference in energy levels. It's going to take time, but I think it'll work out. At least you can have peace back. It sounds like you're doing a lot right. If you can, try feeding the older cat as close to the room where the kitten is as she'll let you and slowly move the bowl closer. This will relate the kitten with food and allow the resident cat to realize that there is no danger.

I assure you, you're cat does not hate you. I've introduced two kittens to two three year olds and I've introduced a hyperactive dog to a three year old and two six year olds. No one has held onto any grudges towards me and I have a highly sensitive cat who pretty much relies on those fight-or-flight instincts at every unusual sound. Your cat's routine has been thrown off, her territory has been invaded, and her person is covered in the intruder's scent. It took several months - close to a year - before Ember (my youngest who has bonded with me) went back to her usual antics after the dog was introduced. For a while, I thought she'd never lay in my lap again because the dog was always right up against me. Now she practically lays on the dog. So it does take a while. Just do what you can to let her know that you still love her and that that kitten isn't a threat to her.

 

[weemomma]

I just wonder with a technically senior cat (who does not act her age) if working for a year or two is worth it. I can easily rehome Charlie, but that hurts to think about. Even after a day, it's clear that he is a little love bug who will be an awesome cat. I just don't want anyone to be miserable.

It's a lot of guilt on my part, I guess.

 

[weemomma]

Night 2: It's currently 5am. Hariette has slept with me all night but every single sound has caused her to jump up and look suspiciously towards the bathroom. Charlie just had a little crying spell. I also found out that I don't have enough money for the Feliway until next month. I hate seeing any animal this stressed, but I'm determined to give this a few weeks before making any big decisions.

Any suggestions at calming anxieties?

 

[ArtNJ]

Young kitten + older inactive cat is always a risk. With time and patience, and following the tips you'll get here, it will likely be ok, and the cats will likely come to at least mostly tolerate each other. But there is a risk of continuing problems, with mild problems being relatively common. My 9 year old cat ain't never going to like my 2 year old. He does not cause her tons of stress at this point, but I have no doubt she would be happier if he was gone. They are both indoor/outdoor, and it is not uncommon for her decide to leave the house immediately when he comes in. At this point, he rarely jumps on her, but she growls and hisses even if he tries to groom her. There is, thank god, nothing close to actual fighting at this point, although there were (thankfully rarely) some realish fights in the past of the typical variety, with some fur patches ripped out and a few light scratches for battle wounds.

Years ago, with cats that are now no longer with us, I had a rare disaster scenario. 2 new kittens introduced properly to older cat, no problems. However, as the kittens got big, the more active young cat started to scare the older cat, and she would growl and hiss to discourage rough play. For whatever reason, that flipped a switch in the younger cats brain, and he went from too active and playing a bit too rough, to genuine hostility when growled at. My older cat ended up getting bitten twice, and cat bites get infected and are a much bigger deal than scratches.

There are favorable scenarios too. My inactive older cat (now deceased) that had the problems I mentioned with the active youngster always got along very nicely with the gentle less active kitten. It is a dice roll. You can increase your odds with the tips here, but a lot just has to do with the personalities and activity levels of each cat.

 

[weemomma]

Morning 2: I guess I am treating this as a live journal now but it makes my anxiety feel so much better.

About 6am, Hariette decided that it would be alright if I held her while we slept. She was in my arms for a good hour and a half, snoozing and purring while I rubbed her chest and gently scruffed her neck over and over again. She groomed peacefully for about 15 minutes. She allowed me to pet her face and kiss her nose. She still jumps whenever there is a noise from the bathroom, but I guess it's all a process.

I'm about to go to the bathroom for the morning routine and my morning interaction with Charlie.

I also did notice that I am still fighting fleas on Hariette. She has a vet appointment for her boosters, blood panel, and checkups on the 31st. Maybe the fleas are causing her anxiety too. I know it doesn't feel good. I have her on a dose of Advantage II right now. The dog brought the fleas in the house and they have been impossible to get rid of.

 

[Animal Freak]

I understand your worries. I've gone through those times of wondering if it would be best to simply re-home my third cat (and have thought of it even now, three years in) because she would honestly be better off as an only cat, preferably with someone who could give her all the attention she deserves. She's caused some issues and put a lot of stress on one of my other cats so, yes, I know how it feels.

Unfortunately, that's something no one can help you with. You know your cat best and what would be better for her. It does get better, but I can't guarantee that it'll be problem free. There could still be some minor issues. I've decided to deal with those issues and it has improved, but my cats aren't quite as old and are known for their calm temperaments. There are more moments of peace than there are of violence, though, and even those that still exist have become half-hearted.

It sounds like Harriette is beginning to get over the different scent even if she hasn't accepted the kitten. That's good. Any improvement, no matter how small, is worth being happy about. It's not surprising she's jumpy. She doesn't feel secure right now. With time, patience, and some effort, you can get her feeling secure again.

 

[weemomma]

Evening update:

Got home and Hariette was out in her safe room. She was purring and allowed me to pet her. As soon as Charlie started meowing from the bathroom, she stopped purring but stayed out. When I came back from feeding and holding Charlie, she was in her window which is where she goes when she feels stressed. I have just decided to leave her alone for time being. She can be the one to make moves. I'm outside with my dog currently to give Charlie time to calm down and Hariette time to relax.

She did come out today to eat. Her bowl was almost empty in the kitchen. She also had a new cup which I hope she is drinking from. My hope is after I get the extra bedroom cleared out, Charlie can relocate in there and she can have her bathroom back.

I'm still a little heartbroken that she is so aloof but I suppose it's alright. Hopefully she gives me more snuggles tonight.

 

[weemomma]

Bedtime update:

Hariette hasn't hissed at me this evening. I spent tonight cleaning, spending time outside with my dog, and generally ignoring her while she hung out in the window. I cleaned part of the bathroom with Charlie and he is as cute as can be. Definitely a kitten Once I was finished playing with him, I placed those clothes in a pile where Hariette will interact with them. She didn't seem to mind Charlie's scent on my hands tonight either.

We just got done playing with her favorite toy and now it's time for bed. She still doesn't like the sound of him meowing. It makes her skittish and she will end up hiding, but it hasn't lasted long. I'm really, really hoping that this is a trend in the right direction.

 

[danteshuman]

Salem is older than my punk Dante by 1 year. Salem is 11 now and half the time they just tolerate each other. (I think Salem still wishes I could give him back ) It is hard to be loving when the new cat uses you as a living toy. Most cats out grow this. I think it is why older cats are so grouchy towards kittens. Older cats will hiss at and bop a kitten on the head (no claw) to teach them so manners or respect. Unforgettably I freaked out and prevented my older cat from doing this and now I have a bit of a bully younger cat.

So don't stress about your older cat hissing or batting at the kitten. In time things will get better

 

[weemomma]

Morning update:

Hariette had a good night. She slept with me most of the evening. Around 5am, I pulled her into a snuggle and she blissfully purred and snored until she decided to dump her water cup on the floor just now. Now she's up and exploring. I just noticed that she went and stood on top of the clothing that I had played with Charlie in last night without a second thought. She is still super concerned as to what is going on in the rest of the house, but last night when I got up to use the restroom, I accidentally startled her in the dining room. I had no idea she had snuck in there, which is where her litter box is, so I know that she's out and roaming.

Also, I realized that Charlie has some separation anxiety. He's a baby. It was being made worse by the fact that the gap in the door to the bathroom was so wide that he could nearly fit under it. So, I closed the gap with a towel and things seem to be better. He's not trying to tear the door down and seems a bit calmer.

Fingers crossed everything keeps going in a positive direction.

 

[weemomma]

Evening update:

Scent transferring seems to be going well. It's more for Hariette at this point than for Charlie. She was lying on my clothing that had his scent on it when I got home today. Just now as we got ready for bed, she was exploring tonight's clothes. She had accidentally saw me carrying Charlie when I was escaping the bathroom after play time. It doesn't seem to have phased her.

Charlie is most definitely in the kitten stage. He wants to bite and play. I'm working on the biting, but I don't want to introduce him while he's still in the biting phase. So far, I'm gaining a lot more hope.

 

[abyeb]

Sounds like progress!

Do you have a kickeroo for Charlie? He might like that to attack.

 

[weemomma]

Sounds like progress!

Do you have a kickeroo for Charlie? He might like that to attack.

No, but he didn't show interest in toys until last night. I'm planning on getting him some more toys when I can get him out of the bathroom and into a bigger space.

 

[weemomma]

Morning update:

Hariette is growing more confident. She will come out into the house when I'm in the bathroom with Charlie. This morning, she came out, marked a box she liked, and then we filled up her food dish together while Charlie was mewing in the other room. She has been lying on top of me all night and is currently giving me a face massage.

She did have one throw up incident this morning, but I attribute that more to the overgrooming from fleas than from stress. I weighed her yesterday morning and she has maintained her weight in spite of the stress, which is a very positive sign.

On another note, my deaf white cat who lives in the garage is suddenly very interested in coming into the house. She has shown brief interest before but has always returned to the garage when she has had enough. Last night, she entered the house while I was doing laundry and explored the kitchen for a little bit before I returned her back outside. I don't think I'm up for introducing two new cats to Hariette's space right now, but I did find it interesting. Katie is still very feral, but a very sweet girl. She and the kitten might get along in the future.