New Kitten Introduction

cat nap

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...We are becoming SO discouraged and stressed over this and feel we cannot trust our resident cat’s aggressive behavior at the end of the day. Any advise would be so appreciated. Thank you!!!
Hi L lily2021 ...welcome to the Cat Site. :wave3:
Don't be discouraged. Cat introductions sometimes take many weeks or months, but usually when kittens are involved, the process is much faster.

We can offer you a lot of advice.
Yet I would suggest that you make a 'new thread' here:
Cat Behavior
Just copy and paste from your post above, ...and give it another "title" which is different yet to the point, and catchy, too.
This way we keep Audrey and Elliot's thread separate from your cats' thread....or else I would get all confused on whose cat I'm talking about.
Does that make sense.
 

cat nap

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Just wanted to come over to say that I think what you wrote in lily's thread is beautiful. :) :touched:
...Hang on in there. Everyone says that it can take a long time for cats to adjust so patience and I know it sounds stupid but it helps me to remember that they don't 'think' in the way that we do, i.e. Audrey is not up there in the bedroom meditating on how much she resents me for replacing her with a new kitten, she just instinctively wants to be sure that her food and water and litter tray are still hers, and eventually she will realise that and calm down. So I am trying to tell myself :)
So true. I don't think Audrey is meditating up in her room. Or resenting you at all. :blackcat: :catrub:
You'll see that one day, in the near future, ... Audrey will thank you for bringing Elliot into her life.
Of course, being a cat and all, ...she will act all indifferent...and probably deny all the drama. :blush:

It's just tough, because you are in the midst of it, now...and wish you could rationally sit down, and explain to Audrey...all of the good parts of having a kitten around, and that he will grow up and slow down.
...& I'd also say try to enjoy and be glad of the little moments that go well: playing with your kitten or getting some strokes with the resident cat.
:):touched::clover::yeah:
 
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Moggielady

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Just wanted to come over to say that I think what you wrote in lily's thread is beautiful. :) :touched:

So true. I don't think Audrey is meditating up in her room. Or resenting you at all. :blackcat: :catrub:
You'll see that one day, in the near future, ... Audrey will thank you for bringing Elliot into her life.
Of course, being a cat and all, ...she will act all indifferent...and probably deny all the drama. :blush:

It's just tough, because you are in the midst of it, now...and wish you could rationally sit down, and explain to Audrey...all of the good parts of having a kitten around, and that he will grow up and slow down.

:):touched::clover::yeah:
That's really sweet of you, Cat Nap, thank you. Yeah I wish I could just explain everything to her. Btw your emoji game is excellent! 👏
 
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Moggielady

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emoji game??? I'm not sure what that is. :dunno:
But will now have to do some online googling. :running:
I just mean that the way you use the little smiley faces and moving characters in your posts is very elaborate and expressive, that's all! And you have perfectly illustrated that in your reply :)
 

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I just mean that the way you use the little smiley faces and moving characters in your posts is very elaborate and expressive, that's all! And you have perfectly illustrated that in your reply :)
:spew::crackup: Oh my goodness.:lol: I nearly spit out my rooisbos tea.
I actually went and googled it...and was more confused,...since it looked like a game of 'hang-man' or guessing some type of words. Haha. I thought it was an actual online game. :paperbag:

Thank you for explaining it. I guess I'd be called a bit 'daft' or dense I suppose. But in a good way.
Thank you again for the laugh of the day.

Yes, I do enjoy using the emojis. I find them very expressive. Only trouble is, that they don't always seem to be placed where they belong, so it takes me a tad longer to make a reply post. (It is a Site quirk, that the admins know about, ...but not really a top priority to fix). Again, thanks for the explanation..or else I would be online surfing all night. :blush: :crash:
 
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:spew::crackup: Oh my goodness.:lol: I nearly spit out my rooisbos tea.
I actually went and googled it...and was more confused,...since it looked like a game of 'hang-man' or guessing some type of words. Haha. I thought it was an actual online game. :paperbag:

Thank you for explaining it. I guess I'd be called a bit 'daft' or dense I suppose. But in a good way.
Thank you again for the laugh of the day.

Yes, I do enjoy using the emojis. I find them very expressive. Only trouble is, that they don't always seem to be placed where they belong, so it takes me a tad longer to make a reply post. (It is a Site quirk, that the admins know about, ...but not really a top priority to fix). Again, thanks for the explanation..or else I would be online surfing all night. :blush: :crash:
Haha, sorry for the confusion!

They had a good hour together just now. Much the same as yesterday but with less chasing. Audrey growled when he got within a couple of feet of her, and hissed if he came any closer. But she would take treats even when he was near - actually she kept on growling even whilst eating her treats, which was hilarious: grrrrr nom nom grrrr nom nom nom... and more dribble than usual...

Only potentially tricky moment was when HE growled at HER, which I hadn't been expecting! He had a toy in his mouth and I think he thought she was going to try and take it. (The only time I've ever heard him growl is when I am trying to detach him from a toy he's biting.) But I just took him away then and Audrey seemed fine after.

He seems to be respecting her boundaries which is great. At least until her back is turned. He did managed to sneak up and sniff her tail once but even when she turned around and was surprised by him she just hissed she didn't swipe.

I didn't confine them to one room (though I did confine them to the downstairs of the house) but actually they spent most of the time in Audrey's preferred spot, where she can sit up on the windowsill or the back of the sofa.

Feeling huge relief that they spent this long together and there was no swiping or charging this time!
 

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This is a fantastic update!
They had a good hour together just now. Much the same as yesterday but with less chasing. Audrey growled when he got within a couple of feet of her, and hissed if he came any closer. But she would take treats even when he was near - actually she kept on growling even whilst eating her treats, which was hilarious: grrrrr nom nom grrrr nom nom nom... and more dribble than usual...
"actually she kept on growling even whilst eating her treats, which was hilarious: grrrrr nom nom grrrr nom nom nom... and more dribble than usual..."
:lol: That must mean she would not even think about 'sharing a treat'...even if stuck on a deserted island.
To give Audrey credit, though, you did say the Elliot shoves his full face into his bowl.
I'm sure that Audrey has watched that, and figured..."he has no eating manners"

Less chasing is great.
You will probably end up having... more chasing and running around, but it will be done in play, so don't be too worried when you see this. When a cat eventually accepts the kitten, the kitten feels free to chase...and so does the cat.
As long as they...all come back together, with no extended hiding, ...then all is well.
Only potentially tricky moment was when HE growled at HER, which I hadn't been expecting! He had a toy in his mouth and I think he thought she was going to try and take it. (The only time I've ever heard him growl is when I am trying to detach him from a toy he's biting.) But I just took him away then and Audrey seemed fine after.
Interesting.
So Elliot might be learning the growling behaviour from Audrey?
Copying her.
Or he is also quite possessive of his toy.

Wow. This is showing a lot more Confidence within him,...and also that he knows how to communicate, too.
I think this is really good to hear.
Not that you want to have 'two growly cats...growling all the time'...but rather that they are 'talking' back and forth to each other,...and learning from each other.
He seems to be respecting her boundaries which is great. At least until her back is turned. He did managed to sneak up and sniff her tail once but even when she turned around and was surprised by him she just hissed she didn't swipe.
Fantastic.
I didn't confine them to one room (though I did confine them to the downstairs of the house) but actually they spent most of the time in Audrey's preferred spot, where she can sit up on the windowsill or the back of the sofa.

Feeling huge relief that they spent this long together and there was no swiping or charging this time!
Amazing. :)
I knew this would happen. I just didn't know that it would happen this quick.
I think you are almost there, and it won't be long until you could leave everyone out together.
 
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Moggielady

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This is a fantastic update!

"actually she kept on growling even whilst eating her treats, which was hilarious: grrrrr nom nom grrrr nom nom nom... and more dribble than usual..."
:lol: That must mean she would not even think about 'sharing a treat'...even if stuck on a deserted island.
To give Audrey credit, though, you did say the Elliot shoves his full face into his bowl.
I'm sure that Audrey has watched that, and figured..."he has no eating manners"

Less chasing is great.
You will probably end up having... more chasing and running around, but it will be done in play, so don't be too worried when you see this. When a cat eventually accepts the kitten, the kitten feels free to chase...and so does the cat.
As long as they...all come back together, with no extended hiding, ...then all is well.

Interesting.
So Elliot might be learning the growling behaviour from Audrey?
Copying her.
Or he is also quite possessive of his toy.

Wow. This is showing a lot more Confidence within him,...and also that he knows how to communicate, too.
I think this is really good to hear.
Not that you want to have 'two growly cats...growling all the time'...but rather that they are 'talking' back and forth to each other,...and learning from each other.

Fantastic.

Amazing. :)
I knew this would happen. I just didn't know that it would happen this quick.
I think you are almost there, and it won't be long until you could leave everyone out together.
Thank you Cat Nap, it is so great to have this affirmation. I feel cautiously optimistic now whereas a few days ago I was full of dread and really feeling guilty and overwhelmed.

Elliot is definitely possessive of his toys! He is a fierce little hunter. Of course it is just too cute when he fiercely hunts a small plush beaver and carries it around in his mouth. I hadn't thought of the growling as talking but I guess it was exactly that, him telling her to keep off his toy.

I am definitely keeping an eye on the hiding. Audrey does 'retire' under the bed after the sessions of meeting but I think you're right that she's tired and it's not a bad sign, especially when she comes out immediately with a shake of the treat bag. We had a lovely purring cuddle session today and I feel SO much better, she is getting back to her old self. :cloud9:
 

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Thank you Cat Nap, it is so great to have this affirmation. I feel cautiously optimistic now whereas a few days ago I was full of dread and really feeling guilty and overwhelmed.
Feeling dread, guilt, or overwhelmed are totally normal feelings M Moggielady . :hugs:
I could tell you that it is quite common to experience a roller coaster of emotions, especially when introducing animals.

I know, that I have personally felt anxiety, worry, later on guilt, and also overwhelmed, too.
And then I threw in some more 'unhelpful' thinking...like...'trying to predict the future'....in that I figured my now dog, (puppy at the time),..would never, ever be able to be around the cats because he liked to chase, chase, and play constantly...as a puppy...while awake.
(Thankfully that wasted 'prediction of the future' never came true. They all get along just fine, with the two cats actually liking the dog better than they do each other, depending on the day of the week.) :blackcat: :blackcat: :bluepaw:

When my previous rainbow senior cat was 15 years old, then the kittens came into my life. At some point in time, I also felt guilty since Tripp, the male cat was harassing rainbow Spotty the senior, by jumping on him. The female Tepaul was very good, since she was, and is, not into 'rough-housing'. Eventually, Tripp learned to leave Spotty alone. And Spotty accepted the newcomers, ..by showing me that he was okay sleeping near them. (It took about 2 or 3 months for Spotty the senior to do this, but it was extremely nice to see.)

After all this rambling, my main point is for you to look at the cat-to-kitten intros....as a huge Adventure. :clover:
Optimism is hard, when you're not seeing the results you want,...as fast as you want...but as another member on here wrote:
"Cat intros are more a marathon, ...than they are a sprint"...or something like that. (It think it was Mamanyt1953, but not sure.)

Elliot is definitely possessive of his toys! He is a fierce little hunter. Of course it is just too cute when he fiercely hunts a small plush beaver and carries it around in his mouth. I hadn't thought of the growling as talking but I guess it was exactly that, him telling her to keep off his toy.
I'm kind of jealous now, hearing that Elliot carries his plush beaver toy around. :lol:
I kind of always wanted a cat who would play fetch with me.

(My cats will just lay there as I roll a ping pong ball to them, and then bat at it,...getting me to run here and there...retrieving it.
I get good exercise, but I strongly think that my cats have 'trained me' and not the other way around. :catlove:)
I am definitely keeping an eye on the hiding. Audrey does 'retire' under the bed after the sessions of meeting but I think you're right that she's tired and it's not a bad sign, especially when she comes out immediately with a shake of the treat bag. We had a lovely purring cuddle session today and I feel SO much better, she is getting back to her old self. :cloud9:
My cats like sleeping in various spots around the home.
Often times my male Tripp enjoys sleeping in a dark Armoire or dark closet.

You know your cat the best, but yes, maybe Audrey just enjoys to sleep in different locations, now, too. :sleep::dunno:
Perhaps it's very peaceful and quiet up there,..and even if it used to be her...'grumpy spot'...now it's her 'day spa getaway'. :daisy:
 
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I'm kind of jealous now, hearing that Elliot carries his plush beaver toy around. :lol:
I kind of always wanted a cat who would play fetch with me.

(My cats will just lay there as I roll a ping pong ball to them, and then bat at it,...getting me to run here and there...retrieving it.
I get good exercise, but I strongly think that my cats have 'trained me' and not the other way around. :catlove:)
Oh don't get the wrong idea, he doesn't carry it to ME! He carries it away to chew in secret... But it's funny watching him run past with it in his mouth, all pleased with himself :)

Good and bad today.
Good: Elliot and Audrey sitting two feet apart, facing each other, both taking treats from me and eating them. Audrey was in her bed and she growled most of the time but she still ate them.
Bad: Elliot trying to sneak up on Audrey and get BEHIND her bed, which is against the wall. She swatted him two or three times, very quick, then shot out of her bed and went under ours. She is still there...

Sigh. But they had a good hour together this morning. It's rinse and repeat at this stage I think! Very glad to be able to share on this thread. Thank you everyone who is still reading.
 
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Just to make a liar of me, she appeared as soon as I posted, LOL. Eating her biscuits now like nothing happened.
 

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Oh don't get the wrong idea, he doesn't carry it to ME! He carries it away to chew in secret... But it's funny watching him run past with it in his mouth, all pleased with himself :)
Okay, it makes me feel slightly less envious, ...knowing he's not a Super Cat yet. :greenpaw:
I'm sure he's the 'trainable kind of cat'.
(I might be too lazy to train my cats. Someone explained, in details, how they clicker train their cat, and I found it fascinating,..but have not tried. Super lazy. :thud:)
Good and bad today.
Good: Elliot and Audrey sitting two feet apart, facing each other, both taking treats from me and eating them. Audrey was in her bed and she growled most of the time but she still ate them.
Bad: Elliot trying to sneak up on Audrey and get BEHIND her bed, which is against the wall. She swatted him two or three times, very quick, then shot out of her bed and went under ours. She is still there...
I don't think this is bad at all.
Why do you think it was? Did the swatting look too aggressive? Did Elliot cry and run and hide?

I think it's fantastic that Elliot is trying to get closer to Audrey.
And that Audrey chose to swat and run away, ...rather than to attack him.

I guess it all depends on how it looked to you?
...It's rinse and repeat at this stage I think! Very glad to be able to share on this thread. Thank you everyone who is still reading.
"..It's rinse and repeat"
I like the 'rinse and repeat' line. :blush: I'm going to use that in the future, for cat-intro advice. It sounds great.

And I really enjoy reading your updates.
Thank you for writing them up.
I may have to ask for a few more photos, in the future, when you have time. :catrub:
Just to make a liar of me, she appeared as soon as I posted, LOL. Eating her biscuits now like nothing happened.
:lol: :crackup:Cats always know when we're posting about them.
I don't know how, but they do.

Honestly, I think that to Audrey...nothing really did happen.
She was sleeping. Elliot came by. She swatted him, because she felt annoyed...and then left.
(I could be reading the description wrong, so forgive me if I do.)
 
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I don't think this is bad at all.
Why do you think it was? Did the swatting look too aggressive? Did Elliot cry and run and hide?
I think it's fantastic that Elliot is trying to get closer to Audrey.
And that Audrey chose to swat and run away, ...rather than to attack him.
I guess it all depends on how it looked to you?
It looks scary because the swatting was just so fast! Pow-pow-pow. On his head! But he didn't make a sound. Once she had run off, he went under the chest of drawers for a couple of minutes. But then he came out and tried to follow her under the bed (cue more growling) at which point I distracted him with a treat and took him away.

"..It's rinse and repeat"
I like the 'rinse and repeat' line. :blush: I'm going to use that in the future, for cat-intro advice. It sounds great.

And I really enjoy reading your updates.
Thank you for writing them up.
I may have to ask for a few more photos, in the future, when you have time. :catrub:
Thank you. V glad to hear this. I'll try and snap some more pictures of them near each other, if I can.

Honestly, I think that to Audrey...nothing really did happen.
She was sleeping. Elliot came by. She swatted him, because she felt annoyed...and then left.
(I could be reading the description wrong, so forgive me if I do.)
No, you're not reading it wrong, it's just tough to watch even though I know some swatting is bound to happen. She did it again, in fact, when I let him go through into her room just now: he got too close to her chasing a ribbon and she swiped at him again. But then she settled back down. She didn't run away. And he just backed off and kept playing with the ribbon on the floor.

I'm a bit worried about letting him pursue her under the bed. I wouldn't be able to reach under there and break them up if anything bad happened. But at some point he will need to roam freely and he will inevitably follow her there if she retreats!
 

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It looks scary because the swatting was just so fast! Pow-pow-pow. On his head! But he didn't make a sound. Once she had run off, he went under the chest of drawers for a couple of minutes. But then he came out and tried to follow her under the bed (cue more growling) at which point I distracted him with a treat and took him away.
No, you're not reading it wrong, it's just tough to watch even though I know some swatting is bound to happen. She did it again, in fact, when I let him go through into her room just now: he got too close to her chasing a ribbon and she swiped at him again. But then she settled back down. She didn't run away. And he just backed off and kept playing with the ribbon on the floor.
I'm a bit worried about letting him pursue her under the bed. I wouldn't be able to reach under there and break them up if anything bad happened. But at some point he will need to roam freely and he will inevitably follow her there if she retreats!
Oh, okay. So if I understand correctly Elliot is not at all bothered by Audrey, since he comes back so fast, and also pursues her...yet Audrey is still more than a little annoyed by him.
Hmm.

You're definitely right about the 'being under the bed' part.
That would be difficult to observe and break them up.

But you're having better success when Playing with Elliot near Audrey in her room.

Does Audrey come back willingly to the downstairs area, while Elliot is free roaming there?
Or are we not at this stage yet?
 
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