New high energy cat is exhausting me

[Anne2021]

Oh & let me tell you the first time I knew Dante would be trouble. So I got Dante at 6 weeks old. Salem (who was a year old) one time gently put his teeth around Dante’s neck & I freaked out! I went super protective & Salem being the sensitive guy he was picked up on it & knew attacking the kitten was forbidden! Then at 8 weeks I hear a meow and I go to find out why Salem is distressed. Imagine my suprise to find this tiny kitten on Salem’s back ...... biting him on his scruff with his little legs dangling over Salem’s sides..... like he is trying to ride him!!! Salem is meowing for help and slowly walking in a circle. At 5 months we had to teach Salem it was ok to fight back.

The point of the story is sometimes it is just a personality mismatch. Salem was to calm & passive. Dante was to insecure, aggressive & hyper. Weirdly enough Dante loved Chester the reformed feral who beat him up years ago It was like his hyper aggressive clicked with the other cat’s brave but I will kick your butt if I have to personality. Before he died Dante was super friendly to one kitten..... the hyper insecure one. It was like they could sense they had the same personality type. (I wound up adopting the hyper trouble maker.)

Now my new hyper trouble maker loves his calm brave brother. However both cats will pick on their passive more skittish sister when they get bored (you will play whether you want to or not.) All three are from the same litter. When the boys have to much energy (usually because if cabin fever) I play with them. Then they leave their sister alone. Now all 3 will cuddle each other, so they like each other. They just annoy/bug their little sister sometimes. We don’t let them bully her/hunt her; so we keep them from picking on her. Which is why I’m not recommending you adopt a kitten who matches your trouble maker’s personality. I would worry that the two cats might bully your senior kitty.

Dante passing the punk torch to Jackie :

*** Long reply warning***

danteshuman, Your cat stories made me laugh. Your cats are/were such characters!

I do use flattened cardboard boxes when I need to separate cats. No way I would pick one up when they are upset. I’ve learned that from hearing stories of other people who learned the hard way.

I will try the sock thing. It makes sense.

As to Stormy - yes - I just need to plan ahead next time and if Josie and/or Bailey are going outside, lock Stormy up first and if Stormy is going out, lock them up so she doesn’t see them through the glass or encounter them for a few minutes after she is back in until she normalizes.

Sadly, I do think this is a personality mismatch, but here I go, continuing to try. I used to think that Bailey needed more people and more animals, now I am leaning toward her needing one person who wants to be her person and Bailey to be his or her only pet, someone who understands cats like her and loves it (like you). I wish it were easy to find that and know she would be safe and happy. Other animals will always be toys to her, I think. Side note: I thought she was enjoying a little calm time when she wants into my son’s room and he lets her in. He told me yesterday that she isn’t relaxing in the cat tower by the window, as I had thought, but rather crawling around on his arms and trying to get between him and his computer, etc., which explains why he doesn’t encourage her to spend more time with him. He plays a little, but then lets he out of his room and shuts the door.

I called the vet today and asked the scheduler about an appointment to discuss Prozac. She asked me to describe the situation. She told me that they hear similar issues, and then she started questioning me about what I’ve done, what Bailey has to entertain her besides me and Josie(?) The last part was worded oddly and didn't make much sense to me. I told her about the large amount of toys, trees, interactive toys, etc. that I have acquired since I got Bailey. She asked about Feliway. I get so tired of everybody pushing Feliway. I have read customer reviews and plenty of people have had problems with it. With three other cats, I don’t want the pheromones affecting them when the main issue is Bailey’s hyperactivity. I don’t think it would do one thing to solve the problem and could create more. Then she said that we could set up an appointment and the vet can go over other options before we consider "the hard stuff". I have to admit that was discouraging. I took an appointment for next Wednesday, but I am not sure I will keep it. I don’t want to go out and risk COVID exposure to get no further than someone trying to talk me out of Prozac and into exhausting myself even more or doing something that is going to alter the other cats and not help the real problem.

I know I am frustrated and I know I come off as very hard on Bailey, but I really do care about the little stinker. Sometimes she seems so vulnerable. I always tell her, even when she’s naughty and messing up Josie - “I know. I know. It’s hard to be Bailey.”

Don’t take this the wrong way, but the way she acted today made me think of the metaphor of a meth addict. Seriously. I have started with completely segregating her from the seniors and only limited contact with Josie while I am near until I can figure out how to schedule the times Bailey is allowed out and who gets shut behind which door to keep them apart, too. I had bought a new toy - Da Bird teaser. Oh my goodness, I had no idea this one would be so exciting with all the wand and teaser toys we already have. Both Bailey and Josie went total predator for it. I played with the two of them together and it was fun - they were okay taking turns. After a while, I put it away so it wouldn't get old too fast. I ended with playing a little more with Bailey with a familiar mouse on the wand/teaser so she could get a "kill" and strut off with it. Then we were done. Well, true to pattern, this play session actually got Bailey really amped up - she was panting like she hasn’t in a while - and not just from physical activity - she was excited!!! After that Josie went to nap on the cat tower (top level), satisfied with her predatory prowess. Bailey came into the kitchen where I started cleaning and doing dishes and she dragged an old teaser toy near me and batted it around obstacles. This is a pattern of hers actually when I am in the kitchen. Then after 15-20 minutes, she walked away. So I backed up and watched to see what she was up to. Sure enough, she ran over and jumped up on that tower still excited and needing a “fix” and all up in Josie’s face to get down and play. So I took her and pet her and put her back down on the ground and stepped just out of sight. She was right back up in Josie’s face. So I separated them. Similar thing later today… I have a fake tree with leaves and three levels which the cats seem to think is cool. This afternoon I stayed out in the living room with Josie and Bailey (seniors were shut in my bedroom). I was on the couch on my laptop keeping an eye on the interaction. Bailey jumped up on the top level and appeared to be napping. Josie jumped on the lowest level to nap. All was well with the world. I finished what I was doing and quietly moved to the kitchen to work some more where I could still see them. Sure enough - within a few minutes, Bailey had jumped down to the second level and started leaning over batting at Josie. Josie was not interested or pleased. So I grabbed Bailey, pet her and put her down because I did not have time to play to redirect her. I walked away - she was right back at it as soon as I walked away. So I separated them again before it turned to forcible wrestling, screaming, and hissing.

It really seems to be so much about the hyperactivity. The need is just so intense. I thought of the meth addict metaphor because it’s like you (meaning Josie, specifically) don’t want to be around her when she is jonesing for a fix (as in hasn’t been played with and really needs it) and you don’t want to be around her when she gets her fix (as in has had a good play session) because now she is high and is even more out of control looking for a higher high. I think if I had to choose she is actually worse after play than without it. That seems really counter-intuitive, which is one of the main reasons I am willing to consider Prozac. Things just aren’t working like they should. But if they don’t want to give it, I am getting to the end of my tether here.

 

[danteshuman]

About the prozac. Flat out tell her you are trying putting the cat on prozac to avoid having to rehome Bailey! Feliway works half the time but would not fix such a big issue. Or go to another vet and explain you are at your wits end & about to rehome her!

About the play. Well one you want to play with your hyper cat using a wand toy; making the cat climb up and down furniture (couch, cat tree, bed, chair plus jumping and following the toy around/ running) until they are laying down panting. Dante taught me that no amount of play will tire out a hyper cat until you wear out their mind! So yes she needs play sessions but she needs mental stimulation too or more! Which is why I suggested an hour outside in the harness every day. If you can’t do that 2-4 bird feeders (one humming bird when they are in season) by a window will help entertain your cat. If you can hang the feeders by a window with a sturdy screen so in warm weather you can let the cats bird watch through the screen. Put a cat ledge bed or a cat tree or even just a dining room chair (or two) by the window so the cats have a nice place to sit or lay as they hunt the birds through the window. For interactive play well if you are not taking the cat out I would go for 20 different interactive toys that you use a different one each day..... which is just crazy expensive. So I would go for a simple easy puzzle feeder for treats or dry food (& the only way that cat gets dry food), the hexabug jumbo kit picture includes, maybe a home made box with some holes cut in it that you plaice a favorite toy in (like a small chirping bird toy or a flashing light ball), catnip bubbles can be fun, laser pointer, the toy that has a tail that spins in circles under a round tarp is only about $20 and entertains cats for 2-4 hours once every week or two (like small children cats grow bored with their toys..... but if you hide it from them for 2-8 weeks it is the most amazing toy ever!) I also love to use a large box or plastic tub (& sometimes a jumbo gift bag) that I fill with tissue paper, a prized toy or two & a few noisy toys like crinkle balls jingle balls &/or a chirping bird toy (sometimes some catnip to.) Then I let my hyper terror play in it! He loves to hunt his toys and has he hunts them he moves them around.(There is purple cat safe Easter grass in the tub/bin that he loved to bury & unbury his toys. Clicker training will also help her use her mind.

Next time she chases her (like the cat tree scenario) place her in a time out for 30 minutes in a cat room (litter, food, water, bed & few toys.) The goal is not punishment but to allow her time to refocus on something else.

The reason I adopted my hyper cat Jackie was because he had 3 strikes against him (hyper, insecure & easily stressed.) I remembered how Dante drove me insane when he was young & knew in my heart that most people would return the hyper kitten in his teen months (6-30 months old) unless they knew how to deal with a hyper cat.

Long term if you own your house, I would do bird feeder(s) & install a window catio with a cat door (or maybe with two cat doors to keep your house warm through Antarctic temperatures. ) That way your new (hyper) kitty can go in and out as they will (even for frequent very short forays in the cold.) Some people build large catios with a window entrance. Or cat fence toppers that prevent your kitty from escaping & a cat door to let your cats out at will.

 

[Anne2021]

About the prozac. Flat out tell her you are trying putting the cat on prozac to avoid having to rehome Bailey! Feliway works half the time but would not fix such a big issue. Or go to another vet and explain you are at your wits end & about to rehome her!

About the play. Well one you want to play with your hyper cat using a wand toy; making the cat climb up and down furniture (couch, cat tree, bed, chair plus jumping and following the toy around/ running) until they are laying down panting. Dante taught me that no amount of play will tire out a hyper cat until you wear out their mind! So yes she needs play sessions but she needs mental stimulation too or more! Which is why I suggested an hour outside in the harness every day. If you can’t do that 2-4 bird feeders (one humming bird when they are in season) by a window will help entertain your cat. If you can hang the feeders by a window with a sturdy screen so in warm weather you can let the cats bird watch through the screen. Put a cat ledge bed or a cat tree or even just a dining room chair (or two) by the window so the cats have a nice place to sit or lay as they hunt the birds through the window. For interactive play well if you are not taking the cat out I would go for 20 different interactive toys that you use a different one each day..... which is just crazy expensive. So I would go for a simple easy puzzle feeder for treats or dry food (& the only way that cat gets dry food), the hexabug jumbo kit picture includes, maybe a home made box with some holes cut in it that you plaice a favorite toy in (like a small chirping bird toy or a flashing light ball), catnip bubbles can be fun, laser pointer, the toy that has a tail that spins in circles under a round tarp is only about $20 and entertains cats for 2-4 hours once every week or two (like small children cats grow bored with their toys..... but if you hide it from them for 2-8 weeks it is the most amazing toy ever!) I also love to use a large box or plastic tub (& sometimes a jumbo gift bag) that I fill with tissue paper, a prized toy or two & a few noisy toys like crinkle balls jingle balls &/or a chirping bird toy (sometimes some catnip to.) Then I let my hyper terror play in it! He loves to hunt his toys and has he hunts them he moves them around.(There is purple cat safe Easter grass in the tub/bin that he loved to bury & unbury his toys. Clicker training will also help her use her mind.

Next time she chases her (like the cat tree scenario) place her in a time out for 30 minutes in a cat room (litter, food, water, bed & few toys.) The goal is not punishment but to allow her time to refocus on something else.

The reason I adopted my hyper cat Jackie was because he had 3 strikes against him (hyper, insecure & easily stressed.) I remembered how Dante drove me insane when he was young & knew in my heart that most people would return the hyper kitten in his teen months (6-30 months old) unless they knew how to deal with a hyper cat.

Long term if you own your house, I would do bird feeder(s) & install a window catio with a cat door (or maybe with two cat doors to keep your house warm through Antarctic temperatures. ) That way your new (hyper) kitty can go in and out as they will (even for frequent very short forays in the cold.) Some people build large catios with a window entrance. Or cat fence toppers that prevent your kitty from escaping & a cat door to let your cats out at will.

Well, I canceled the appointment due to COVID and asked for a phone call instead. I got the call from the vet today. I made it clear my only other alternative was rehoming. She did want to try gabapentin first. One of her cats is on it for issues with getting along with other cats and she said it helps. Less side effects and safer apparently. So, I'll do a little research here and online and see what I kind find, but unless I see something bad, I suppose will try it.

 

[Anne2021]

Well, I have been researching and I am not seeing the point of gabapentin instead of Prozac. Gabapentin sounds like it is more for severe anxiety or fear, not hyperactivity (even if she has anxiety or insecurity).