New (feral) cat introduction went well until it didn't

[calicosrspecial]

THANK YOU!!! Here is the video from last night. I made a YouTube channel for me and figured it out. My husband is working hard on our kitchen, so I can't keep bugging him. I will upload the other night, too. I put music on it so you don't hear our cat voices, lol.

I hope this works! You can see at the end where he starts to go back to his room through the closet.

WOW!!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!!

Eating together no issues.

Resident boy turns his back on new boy. No issue.

New boy sniff resident boy. No issue.

New boy goes to resident boy's food. No issue.

New boy goes up to resident girl. No issue.

New boy makes a bit of a quick move to resident girl and she swats AND new boy accepts the message and doesn't escalate!!

I am blown away by this video. The trust that is there. The respect. Amazing.

I need to try to figure out how to observe them in the resident cats territory. Getting new boy back into his territory after. Hmmmmmmm.

I just don't know how territorial the residents will be. They sure are confident and trusting in this territory. How long have they been this good together?

You are soooooooooooo close. They are basically intro'd. We just need to tie up a loose end. I just need confirmation residents will accept in their territory.

Did you say there was another video? If so, can you put it in a post like you did this one?

GREAT job!! You and Hubby deserve serious praise!!

 

[JerseyCatMom]

WOW!!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!!

Eating together no issues.

Resident boy turns his back on new boy. No issue.

New boy sniff resident boy. No issue.

New boy goes to resident boy's food. No issue.

New boy goes up to resident girl. No issue.

New boy makes a bit of a quick move to resident girl and she swats AND new boy accepts the message and doesn't escalate!!

I am blown away by this video. The trust that is there. The respect. Amazing.

I need to try to figure out how to observe them in the resident cats territory. Getting new boy back into his territory after. Hmmmmmmm.

I just don't know how territorial the residents will be. They sure are confident and trusting in this territory. How long have they been this good together?

You are soooooooooooo close. They are basically intro'd. We just need to tie up a loose end. I just need confirmation residents will accept in their territory.

Did you say there was another video? If so, can you put it in a post like you did this one?

GREAT job!! You and Hubby deserve serious praise!!

Thank you! There was never an issue with them and their territory that I could see. They basically wanted to be able to look out at the window at the birds and sleep wherever they decided to sleep. The new guy, unless asleep, hiding or we kept him busy with playing and yes, even snacks, chased them away almost constantly. Yes, I need to be ready to have him out once we move him out of those two rooms. There is no way to even contain him on one floor since we have an open foyer. I'd like for him to have his cat tree ready in their territory so he knows he has his place to go to while they learn to share. I am so glad you think this looks good. I am encouraged by how things are going, even with swats and sometimes hisses. I know we had good moments before things went bad, but with all this time since then, I feel like we are getting a fresh start with some familiarity. I just know that when he was not engaged with play or food, we had mega struggles. There is a sound he makes when he is around the other cats. He did this when they were first together and it would alert us that something was about to go down. He makes it now when they are on the other side of his door. He runs to them "talking." While they have their snack together, he makes the sound while he is eating and my husband pets him to calm him. It is like he gets so excited about them being there, but back then he would whack them and chase them away and then start cleaning himself. He would stop cleaning to chase/whack them away again when they tried to come back.

But the small encounters during the day have to be getting us somewhere. Here is the video from the other night. My resident boy always decides he is done and walks away now, but he could not get out with the things in the room and the position of the other cats.


Thanks for watching and letting us know what you think. Below is a photo of my chill cats right now where they love to hang out.

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[calicosrspecial]

Thank you! There was never an issue with them and their territory that I could see. They basically wanted to be able to look out at the window at the birds and sleep wherever they decided to sleep. The new guy, unless asleep, hiding or we kept him busy with playing and yes, even snacks, chased them away almost constantly. Yes, I need to be ready to have him out once we move him out of those two rooms. There is no way to even contain him on one floor since we have an open foyer. I'd like for him to have his cat tree ready in their territory so he knows he has his place to go to while they learn to share. I am so glad you think this looks good. I am encouraged by how things are going, even with swats and sometimes hisses. I know we had good moments before things went bad, but with all this time since then, I feel like we are getting a fresh start with some familiarity. I just know that when he was not engaged with play or food, we had mega struggles. There is a sound he makes when he is around the other cats. He did this when they were first together and it would alert us that something was about to go down. He makes it now when they are on the other side of his door. He runs to them "talking." While they have their snack together, he makes the sound while he is eating and my husband pets him to calm him. It is like he gets so excited about them being there, but back then he would whack them and chase them away and then start cleaning himself. He would stop cleaning to chase/whack them away again when they tried to come back.

But the small encounters during the day have to be getting us somewhere. Here is the video from the other night. My resident boy always decides he is done and walks away now, but he could not get out with the things in the room and the position of the other cats.


Thanks for watching and letting us know what you think. Below is a photo of my chill cats right now where they love to hang out.

.View attachment 350913

First off. I have to say your cats are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! They really are stunning!!!! I wanted to mention that in the last post but I was so excited about the video that I totally got distracted.

With that said, THIS video is even MORE IMPRESSIVE!!! At least I have been softened by impressive videos.

This video BLEW ME AWAY. I couldn't remember what you mentioned about it but I thought there was an issue. I saw anything but.

First off, new boy is eating between them!!! WOW

Then they do really well. Resident boy leaves then JUMPS over new boy. WOW!!! And new boy is ok, resident boy is ok, resident girl is ok. TRUST!!! Honestly blown away.

Then new boy goes for the dish that new girl has and nothing negative. She is like "what do you think you are doing?" and he is like "sorry, I'll leave you alone".

I see total trust. I am SO ECSTATIC right now. 99% of intro specialists would say they are intro'd successfully.

"There was never an issue with them and their territory that I could see. They basically wanted to be able to look out at the window at the birds and sleep wherever they decided to sleep. The new guy, unless asleep, hiding or we kept him busy with playing and yes, even snacks, chased them away almost constantly." - Ok, good. Yes, new boy would do that. NOt surprising. He is in a totally different place now.

"Yes, I need to be ready to have him out once we move him out of those two rooms. There is no way to even contain him on one floor since we have an open foyer. I'd like for him to have his cat tree ready in their territory so he knows he has his place to go to while they learn to share." - Yes. And the cat tree exactly. That will give new boy "ownership" in the new territory.

"I am so glad you think this looks good." - Well, I HOPE I communicated better than "good". This is AMAZING!!!!

"I am encouraged by how things are going, even with swats and sometimes hisses." - You should be!! It is what happens AFTER the hisses and/or swats. If they are respected THAT is the key. If it escalates and there is a change in behavior after them then it tells us we have work to do.

' I know we had good moments before things went bad, but with all this time since then, I feel like we are getting a fresh start with some familiarity." - I honestly can;t remember and am too lazy to lok back on pages of posts. Did the cats have issues before? Is this a re-intro?

"I just know that when he was not engaged with play or food, we had mega struggles." - Ok

"There is a sound he makes when he is around the other cats. He did this when they were first together and it would alert us that something was about to go down." What kind of sound?

"He makes it now when they are on the other side of his door. He runs to them "talking." - That is interesting.

"While they have their snack together, he makes the sound while he is eating and my husband pets him to calm him." - Hubby is doing a great job to calm him. THAT is very helpful.

" It is like he gets so excited about them being there, but back then he would whack them and chase them away and then start cleaning himself. He would stop cleaning to chase/whack them away again when they tried to come back." - How long ago did this happen last?

"But the small encounters during the day have to be getting us somewhere." - I would say. The two videos are incredible.

" Here is the video from the other night. My resident boy always decides he is done and walks away now, but he could not get out with the things in the room and the position of the other cats." - This was amazing. Resident boy is accepting and THEN feels confident enough to jump over him AND new boy doesn't care. THAT is trust!! And those encounters BUILD confidence. At that point I was like "yep, they are fine!!!" If they had issues that would have set them off.

Thanks for the pic. Think they are loving life?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh my, THANK YOU for posting the videos (they help immensely) AND THANK YOU BOTH for doing all the necessary work. Without the effort (and I know it is a lot) it may be different. Your husband honestly does an amazing job. Like textbook intro work!!!

Keep this up and let's think about how to get to finish it off. I think when we let new boy out there will be a few minor issues but they are going to be fine. I would like to try t think of how we do a test run just to see how they do (in residents territory) but we need to figure it out.

I just have that one loose end then we can call it a successful intro.

GREAT JOB!!!!

 

[JerseyCatMom]

Thanks again and again! I just put together a few videos that are still on my phone from when our new boy was out and among the other cats. I have a lot, and not just of him and my resident boy, but the resident girl moved out once trouble started. She had one of the scariest four room, two floor episodes of him jumping on, chasing and swatting her, and when he attacked her while she was sleeping up on a dresser. So here are a few of the first week out. The first day or two, he did his talking to them and told them he was their friend. Then they relaxed and he began his reign. This is just something for you to compare to what is happening now. And, excuse my house as my husband has been renovating the kitchen on the weekends for many, many months.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thanks again and again! I just put together a few videos that are still on my phone from when our new boy was out and among the other cats. I have a lot, and not just of him and my resident boy, but the resident girl moved out once trouble started. She had one of the scariest four room, two floor episodes of him jumping on, chasing and swatting her, and when he attacked her while she was sleeping up on a dresser. So here are a few of the first week out. The first day or two, he did his talking to them and told them he was their friend. Then they relaxed and he began his reign. This is just something for you to compare to what is happening now. And, excuse my house as my husband has been renovating the kitchen on the weekends for many, many months.

You are welcome. There is only this one video?

How long after you got new boy was this video taken?

So this video, this is MUCH better than I thought it was like. If you notice, the body language was pretty good throughout. There was restraint on both sides. Resident boy was REALLY good. Didn't seem that afraid. Looked pretty good throughout. New boy looked mostly like play (albeit pretty rough at times) and there was some dominance BUT there was A LOT of restraint and he would not pursue.

Now, I don't know how the relationship with resident girl was like so I am guessing it was not so good. I see her now on the videos and it is really good.

On this video there were good moments to use distraction to avoid/limit negatives. But new boy did some of that to some degree on his own and that is why resident boy stuck around (and even went on his tree to look out with new boy behind and below him).

Ok, this is great. I think we are going to be fine when we let new boy out. We'll probably have to use distraction at times, step up play in the "new" territory, do feeding/treats sessions in the new territory, make sure there are places for all the cats to look out at the wildilfe and world, a lot of warm and comfy bedding. Your husband sounds handy, would something like cat shelving possibly be acceptable? They can actually look nice.

GREAT job!!! Thanks for this video. If you have time to post the others that would be great.

We are almost there. I have no doubt. We may have a few blips as it often happens but they are going to be absolutely fine.

I know I say this often but my goodness are your cats adorable!! This video I could really see them and they are just stunning. I had a cat like your resident boy in my feral colony. I just LOVED him. Your resident boy seems like such a sweetheart. And your new guy, seems so fun, so cool. Even on this video the resident boy seemed to like him to some degree.

So cool. Keep up the great work. I am thinking next weekend we should let the new boy out. But let me know what you think.

 

[JerseyCatMom]

You are welcome. There is only this one video?

How long after you got new boy was this video taken?

So this video, this is MUCH better than I thought it was like. If you notice, the body language was pretty good throughout. There was restraint on both sides. Resident boy was REALLY good. Didn't seem that afraid. Looked pretty good throughout. New boy looked mostly like play (albeit pretty rough at times) and there was some dominance BUT there was A LOT of restraint and he would not pursue.

Now, I don't know how the relationship with resident girl was like so I am guessing it was not so good. I see her now on the videos and it is really good.

On this video there were good moments to use distraction to avoid/limit negatives. But new boy did some of that to some degree on his own and that is why resident boy stuck around (and even went on his tree to look out with new boy behind and below him).

Ok, this is great. I think we are going to be fine when we let new boy out. We'll probably have to use distraction at times, step up play in the "new" territory, do feeding/treats sessions in the new territory, make sure there are places for all the cats to look out at the wildilfe and world, a lot of warm and comfy bedding. Your husband sounds handy, would something like cat shelving possibly be acceptable? They can actually look nice.

GREAT job!!! Thanks for this video. If you have time to post the others that would be great.

We are almost there. I have no doubt. We may have a few blips as it often happens but they are going to be absolutely fine.

I know I say this often but my goodness are your cats adorable!! This video I could really see them and they are just stunning. I had a cat like your resident boy in my feral colony. I just LOVED him. Your resident boy seems like such a sweetheart. And your new guy, seems so fun, so cool. Even on this video the resident boy seemed to like him to some degree.

So cool. Keep up the great work. I am thinking next weekend we should let the new boy out. But let me know what you think.

Thank you for all your kind words and advice. We have been doing our get togethers in neutral territory, twice a day all in same room, some solo visits in new boy’s territory (not so great, but not devastating) and regular meal gatherings at his door plus mom and dad visits. I am working part time now, mostly from home for several reasons including this little guy. He is not out free yet, but we are super close. We have extended snack times beyond the snack and today was the most chill gathering so far. Once he is out, he is out, so our goal is to have more times like this with acceptance. I’ve seen a difference in this last week even with some whacks and running “attacks” so today was almost boring and we welcome boring right now. This video is long, so zip through it, but wanted to share just how calm and respectful they were. I don’t know what I’m doing with videos, and it cuts off the top, but you can still see most of it.

 

[Furballsmom]

Wow, this is so terrific!

 

[JerseyCatMom]

Wow, this is so terrific!

Thank you!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you for all your kind words and advice. We have been doing our get togethers in neutral territory, twice a day all in same room, some solo visits in new boy’s territory (not so great, but not devastating) and regular meal gatherings at his door plus mom and dad visits. I am working part time now, mostly from home for several reasons including this little guy. He is not out free yet, but we are super close. We have extended snack times beyond the snack and today was the most chill gathering so far. Once he is out, he is out, so our goal is to have more times like this with acceptance. I’ve seen a difference in this last week even with some whacks and running “attacks” so today was almost boring and we welcome boring right now. This video is long, so zip through it, but wanted to share just how calm and respectful they were. I don’t know what I’m doing with videos, and it cuts off the top, but you can still see most of it.

I know I say this too often by my goodness are your cats GORGEOUS!!! I mean like really stunningly gorgeous!!! I can't get over it.

First the video. Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?!? How PERFECT is that?????? The body language was FANTASTIC. There were several times I expected to see some "action" and it was like total acceptance, total trust. The body language is confidence. I was BLOWN AWAY by the video!!! Now that was taken in new boy's room/territory or the shared/neutral territory? I am assuming neutral.

"some solo visits in new boy’s territory (not so great, but not devastating)" - What do you mean by solo visits? And is new boy showing some territorial insecurity in his territory? What is not great about them?

"regular meal gatherings at his door plus mom and dad visits." - Perfect

"He is not out free yet, but we are super close." - Sure seems like it. I can't believe the video. They look like totally intro'd cats.

What we need to figure out if the residents will show territorial insecurity in the rest of the house or if they will accept. And if the resident wander intro new boy's territory what he might do.

If you have time keep playing with the cats in their territory and feed a meal or treats after. To build confidence. It replicates the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep instinct. Builds a lot of confidence and territorial security and a confident and territorailly secure cat is more likely to accept and be accepted.

"Once he is out, he is out, so our goal is to have more times like this with acceptance. " - Yes, it never hurts to reinforce positive encounters as it builds trust and confidence. So just progress as you desire. There is really no downside in waiting if you can handle it.

"I’ve seen a difference in this last week even with some whacks and running “attacks” so today was almost boring and we welcome boring right now. " - Ok, I am confused. So the last week there were some whacks and running "attacks" but then this video? What and where did these "issues" happen? In the video I saw cats with total respect of each other. I am kind of surprised to hear it. Do you think it was just some defensiveness (whacks) and play (running/chasing)?

"This video is long, so zip through it, but wanted to share just how calm and respectful they were. I don’t know what I’m doing with videos, and it cuts off the top, but you can still see most of it." - The video was perfect. It showed me a lot. There were several times I thought "here we go" and it was like perfection. I could see the body language in different situations. And it was perfect. Longer videos are really helpful because I can see them in different situations.

I will say, the video does not match with what you are telling me about what happened before. Sometimes we do fact that tipping point, that almost like a switch being flipped. I wonder if that is the case.

I would like to try some sessions in new boy's territory and if you can video it that would be great. I would like to see the body language.

Overall, GREAT job!!! Your husband does an amazing job.

Let me know more detail on what happened with those whacks and chases.

No doubt they are going to be fine and intro'd. The video proves it. No blip is enough to derail it.

Keep up the great work!!!

 

[Furballsmom]

know I say this too often

LOL, never too often

 

[calicosrspecial]

LOL, never too often

AGREED!!!

I just LOVE those cats!!! GORGEOUS!!!

 

[JerseyCatMom]

I know I say this too often by my goodness are your cats GORGEOUS!!! I mean like really stunningly gorgeous!!! I can't get over it.

First the video. Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?!? How PERFECT is that?????? The body language was FANTASTIC. There were several times I expected to see some "action" and it was like total acceptance, total trust. The body language is confidence. I was BLOWN AWAY by the video!!! Now that was taken in new boy's room/territory or the shared/neutral territory? I am assuming neutral.

"some solo visits in new boy’s territory (not so great, but not devastating)" - What do you mean by solo visits? And is new boy showing some territorial insecurity in his territory? What is not great about them?

"regular meal gatherings at his door plus mom and dad visits." - Perfect

"He is not out free yet, but we are super close." - Sure seems like it. I can't believe the video. They look like totally intro'd cats.

What we need to figure out if the residents will show territorial insecurity in the rest of the house or if they will accept. And if the resident wander intro new boy's territory what he might do.

If you have time keep playing with the cats in their territory and feed a meal or treats after. To build confidence. It replicates the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep instinct. Builds a lot of confidence and territorial security and a confident and territorailly secure cat is more likely to accept and be accepted.

"Once he is out, he is out, so our goal is to have more times like this with acceptance. " - Yes, it never hurts to reinforce positive encounters as it builds trust and confidence. So just progress as you desire. There is really no downside in waiting if you can handle it.

"I’ve seen a difference in this last week even with some whacks and running “attacks” so today was almost boring and we welcome boring right now. " - Ok, I am confused. So the last week there were some whacks and running "attacks" but then this video? What and where did these "issues" happen? In the video I saw cats with total respect of each other. I am kind of surprised to hear it. Do you think it was just some defensiveness (whacks) and play (running/chasing)?

"This video is long, so zip through it, but wanted to share just how calm and respectful they were. I don’t know what I’m doing with videos, and it cuts off the top, but you can still see most of it." - The video was perfect. It showed me a lot. There were several times I thought "here we go" and it was like perfection. I could see the body language in different situations. And it was perfect. Longer videos are really helpful because I can see them in different situations.

I will say, the video does not match with what you are telling me about what happened before. Sometimes we do fact that tipping point, that almost like a switch being flipped. I wonder if that is the case.

I would like to try some sessions in new boy's territory and if you can video it that would be great. I would like to see the body language.

Overall, GREAT job!!! Your husband does an amazing job.

Let me know more detail on what happened with those whacks and chases.

No doubt they are going to be fine and intro'd. The video proves it. No blip is enough to derail it.

Keep up the great work!!!

I know I say this too often by my goodness are your cats GORGEOUS!!! I mean like really stunningly gorgeous!!! I can't get over it.
You are so sweet to say that. Thank you. I remember when we got our little girl and someone said, "she is so ugly, she's cute!" I think cats are beautiful - all of them!

First the video. Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?!? How PERFECT is that?????? The body language was FANTASTIC. There were several times I expected to see some "action" and it was like total acceptance, total trust. The body language is confidence. I was BLOWN AWAY by the video!!! Now that was taken in new boy's room/territory or the shared/neutral territory? I am assuming neutral.
It was amazing. So calm and peaceful. Yes, that was in the shared/neutral territory. He does not go in there often as we are now saving it for their get-togethers.

"some solo visits in new boy’s territory (not so great, but not devastating)" - What do you mean by solo visits? And is new boy showing some territorial insecurity in his territory? What is not great about them?
Solo visits meaning my resident male who sits outside new boy's room wanting to go in with us when we go in. If I am in there, he will sit outside the door sometimes. We let him in and this is where it is hard for the new boy to focus on snacks and toys because someone is in his territory. He did a wiggle butt jump, swat thing on the resident boy and swatted him into a corner. This could be play, since I've only had two cats before him, but my cats seem to decide together when they are ready to rumble and then they end up resting near each other and it is not the same. They don't swat, swat, swat each other into a corner. And he makes a noise in his throat - not a meow, but it is the sound he made at every single encounter with the resident cats when he was loose. If we tried to work or just sit in a chair, we would hear that sound and get up to see what was happening or about to happen.

What we need to figure out if the residents will show territorial insecurity in the rest of the house or if they will accept. And if the resident wander intro new boy's territory what he might do.
We did try that part with new boy's territory and it was not terrible, but not great. So when my resident boy asked to come in today, we let him in and I took a video which I will attach. It is on my phone and I need to come back to this post and add it.

If you have time keep playing with the cats in their territory and feed a meal or treats after. To build confidence. It replicates the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep instinct. Builds a lot of confidence and territorial security and a confident and territorailly secure cat is more likely to accept and be accepted.
We did this last night with all three cats for the regular visit in the neutral territory. Changed the order of the visits, which we usually do a snack and then play. So last night, we had the cats come in and my husband had wand toys out for them. My new guy came running in and went up to the resident boy and bit his neck. My girl decided this was not her kind of party and came over by me by the door. My resident boy ended up high on the desk. But, he came down off the desk and played hard. He is more of an observer with small input, but he was motivated to show his skills, I guess. I still have not figured out how to set the preferences on my iphone to make the perspective zoomed out on imovie, but you can still see most of the activity.

In the video I saw cats with total respect of each other. I am kind of surprised to hear it. Do you think it was just some defensiveness (whacks) and play (running/chasing)?
I don't know what to call it. It feels like day one (or actually more like day three), where new boy decided he was king and sent the peasants away when he had time in between cleaning and napping. It's weird to have the most calm and boring gathering with them, celebrate it and then change it up a tiny bit and feel like we went backwards. If they ran together, it would definitely feel it is more like play. I guess I can't tell a cat how to play, but if it is play, then how will he learn to back off when his whacks are not welcomed.

Longer videos are really helpful because I can see them in different situations.
I'm attaching another long one and a shorter one. The one in his room, I am talking happy mom talk and dad is shaking treats and sending wand toys around the room, but in reality, we can't do that all day long when he is out so they need to figure things out with each other as long as we don't go back to where we were with the residents being chased out of the family room and even upstairs. It felt like we were rewarding poor behavior with a snack once in awhile. We would never have done that with a dog.

I will say, the video does not match with what you are telling me about what happened before. Sometimes we do fact that tipping point, that almost like a switch being flipped. I wonder if that is the case.
Yes, that video is awesome. Extending the time together and having everything go smoothly is amazing. I'm trying not to be too sensitive to their encounters that are not as smooth, but my resident boy's reaction is to retreat, hide under things, seek high places - all of which does not stop another encounter from happening. He does stand his ground in some ways, though, and would always return. I think my resident boy is interested in a friendship with him and I think they could have a great one. Maybe this is how they will have it. For me, I have had only two cats so far and they do not cuddle with each other, but they do sit on the same landing of the cat tree and watch birds together. They groom each other once in awhile and it usually ends up with them in a ninja warrior stance and a rumble on the floor for a few minutes and then they run and run and then rest together. My girl makes a calling sound that is reserved for her boy and he will get up and go to her when she makes it. I don't expect that type of friendship for the new boy with each of them anytime soon, but I hope it is not always the kind that results in clumps of cat hair all over the floor.

Thanks again for all the advice and for watching these videos. I need to post this and then upload them from my phone.

 

[JerseyCatMom]

 

[calicosrspecial]

I know I say this too often by my goodness are your cats GORGEOUS!!! I mean like really stunningly gorgeous!!! I can't get over it.
You are so sweet to say that. Thank you. I remember when we got our little girl and someone said, "she is so ugly, she's cute!" I think cats are beautiful - all of them!

First the video. Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?!? How PERFECT is that?????? The body language was FANTASTIC. There were several times I expected to see some "action" and it was like total acceptance, total trust. The body language is confidence. I was BLOWN AWAY by the video!!! Now that was taken in new boy's room/territory or the shared/neutral territory? I am assuming neutral.
It was amazing. So calm and peaceful. Yes, that was in the shared/neutral territory. He does not go in there often as we are now saving it for their get-togethers.

"some solo visits in new boy’s territory (not so great, but not devastating)" - What do you mean by solo visits? And is new boy showing some territorial insecurity in his territory? What is not great about them?
Solo visits meaning my resident male who sits outside new boy's room wanting to go in with us when we go in. If I am in there, he will sit outside the door sometimes. We let him in and this is where it is hard for the new boy to focus on snacks and toys because someone is in his territory. He did a wiggle butt jump, swat thing on the resident boy and swatted him into a corner. This could be play, since I've only had two cats before him, but my cats seem to decide together when they are ready to rumble and then they end up resting near each other and it is not the same. They don't swat, swat, swat each other into a corner. And he makes a noise in his throat - not a meow, but it is the sound he made at every single encounter with the resident cats when he was loose. If we tried to work or just sit in a chair, we would hear that sound and get up to see what was happening or about to happen.

What we need to figure out if the residents will show territorial insecurity in the rest of the house or if they will accept. And if the resident wander intro new boy's territory what he might do.
We did try that part with new boy's territory and it was not terrible, but not great. So when my resident boy asked to come in today, we let him in and I took a video which I will attach. It is on my phone and I need to come back to this post and add it.

If you have time keep playing with the cats in their territory and feed a meal or treats after. To build confidence. It replicates the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep instinct. Builds a lot of confidence and territorial security and a confident and territorailly secure cat is more likely to accept and be accepted.
We did this last night with all three cats for the regular visit in the neutral territory. Changed the order of the visits, which we usually do a snack and then play. So last night, we had the cats come in and my husband had wand toys out for them. My new guy came running in and went up to the resident boy and bit his neck. My girl decided this was not her kind of party and came over by me by the door. My resident boy ended up high on the desk. But, he came down off the desk and played hard. He is more of an observer with small input, but he was motivated to show his skills, I guess. I still have not figured out how to set the preferences on my iphone to make the perspective zoomed out on imovie, but you can still see most of the activity.

In the video I saw cats with total respect of each other. I am kind of surprised to hear it. Do you think it was just some defensiveness (whacks) and play (running/chasing)?
I don't know what to call it. It feels like day one (or actually more like day three), where new boy decided he was king and sent the peasants away when he had time in between cleaning and napping. It's weird to have the most calm and boring gathering with them, celebrate it and then change it up a tiny bit and feel like we went backwards. If they ran together, it would definitely feel it is more like play. I guess I can't tell a cat how to play, but if it is play, then how will he learn to back off when his whacks are not welcomed.

Longer videos are really helpful because I can see them in different situations.
I'm attaching another long one and a shorter one. The one in his room, I am talking happy mom talk and dad is shaking treats and sending wand toys around the room, but in reality, we can't do that all day long when he is out so they need to figure things out with each other as long as we don't go -back to where we were with the residents being chased out of the family room and even upstairs. It felt like we were rewarding poor behavior with a snack once in awhile. We would never have done that with a dog.

I will say, the video does not match with what you are telling me about what happened before. Sometimes we do fact that tipping point, that almost like a switch being flipped. I wonder if that is the case.
Yes, that video is awesome. Extending the time together and having everything go smoothly is amazing. I'm trying not to be too sensitive to their encounters that are not as smooth, but my resident boy's reaction is to retreat, hide under things, seek high places - all of which does not stop another encounter from happening. He does stand his ground in some ways, though, and would always return. I think my resident boy is interested in a friendship with him and I think they could have a great one. Maybe this is how they will have it. For me, I have had only two cats so far and they do not cuddle with each other, but they do sit on the same landing of the cat tree and watch birds together. They groom each other once in awhile and it usually ends up with them in a ninja warrior stance and a rumble on the floor for a few minutes and then they run and run and then rest together. My girl makes a calling sound that is reserved for her boy and he will get up and go to her when she makes it. I don't expect that type of friendship for the new boy with each of them anytime soon, but I hope it is not always the kind that results in clumps of cat hair all over the floor.

Thanks again for all the advice and for watching these videos. I need to post this and then upload them from my phone.

"You are so sweet to say that. Thank you. I remember when we got our little girl and someone said, "she is so ugly, she's cute!" I think cats are beautiful - all of them!" - You are welcome but that is the truth. I think they are stunning. I LOVE seeing your. I agree, all cats are beautiful but some are just that extra stunning (if that makes sense). I think your girl is gorgeous. Like ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.

"It was amazing. So calm and peaceful. Yes, that was in the shared/neutral territory. He does not go in there often as we are now saving it for their get-togethers." - It was AMAZING. Ok, in the shared. It is ok for new boy to go in the shared as much as he likes. Does he seem territorial in his "own" territory?

"Solo visits meaning my resident male who sits outside new boy's room wanting to go in with us when we go in. If I am in there, he will sit outside the door sometimes." - Ok.

"We let him in and this is where it is hard for the new boy to focus on snacks and toys because someone is in his territory." - Do you think it is territorial or is it excitement/play or a combo? It is pretty nuanced so if you can get video that would be great.

"He did a wiggle butt jump, swat thing on the resident boy and swatted him into a corner." - I would have to see it. How they act after is really important as a tell. As is if the cats stay away etc. Cats tells us a lot by how they behave. If a cat keeps coming abck then they may not fear as much as we think.

This could be play, since I've only had two cats before him, but my cats seem to decide together when they are ready to rumble and then they end up resting near each other and it is not the same." - Yes, exactly. That rumble sounds like "rough play" given how they rebound quickly.

"They don't swat, swat, swat each other into a corner." -Yes, that seems more defensive. BUT the fact he isn't hurting, drawing blood etc tells me it isn't to harm or eliminate but to defend. So I am guessing it is some territorial insecurity. But if the resident boy keeps trying then it can't be too bad.

"And he makes a noise in his throat - not a meow, but it is the sound he made at every single encounter with the resident cats when he was loose. If we tried to work or just sit in a chair, we would hear that sound and get up to see what was happening or about to happen." - Yeah, a warning. Sounds like he may lack confidence. BUT in the video I did not see behavior consistent with that. So he can feel confident.

What is new boy's background again?

"We did try that part with new boy's territory and it was not terrible, but not great. So when my resident boy asked to come in today, we let him in and I took a video which I will attach. It is on my phone and I need to come back to this post and add it." - Oh good, I will take a look. I will address the videos later in this post.

"We did this last night with all three cats for the regular visit in the neutral territory. Changed the order of the visits, which we usually do a snack and then play. So last night, we had the cats come in and my husband had wand toys out for them. My new guy came running in and went up to the resident boy and bit his neck." - Ok. Was resident boy playing already? or were they ready to play. I suspect resident boy was playing already and it overstimulated new boy. We'll have to go back to what was working. I didn't expect that given the video I saw.

"My girl decided this was not her kind of party and came over by me by the door." - Understandable. But she wasn't attacked?

"My resident boy ended up high on the desk." - VERY good he went high. New boy did not follow him?

"But, he came down off the desk and played hard." - Was new boy playing? Or was new boy gone then?

"He is more of an observer with small input, but he was motivated to show his skills, I guess." - So new boy was playing with resident boy observing?

" I still have not figured out how to set the preferences on my iphone to make the perspective zoomed out on imovie, but you can still see most of the activity. " - That is fine The videos are great.

"I don't know what to call it. It feels like day one (or actually more like day three), where new boy decided he was king and sent the peasants away when he had time in between cleaning and napping." - Yeah, I am confused. The GOOD news is, IF they can be like that in the video it is totally solvable. If there were real problems that video would have never happened.

"It's weird to have the most calm and boring gathering with them, celebrate it and then change it up a tiny bit and feel like we went backwards." - Well, two steps forward one step back is normal. So I am not bothered by that. But I thought I had a good handle on what is going on and now I am not sure. They are going to be fine but maybe they aren't as advanced than I thought?

" If they ran together, it would definitely feel it is more like play. I guess I can't tell a cat how to play,: - No, we can't cats play the way they play. I have a cat (now indoors) that would chase cats to play. And then run past them to get them to chase her. It was her way. Indoors she is less like that but still like it. But means no harm. Some cats play differently.

"but if it is play, then how will he learn to back off when his whacks are not welcomed." - When the cat being whacked stands up and tells him. So we need to work on resident cat's confidence. And as new boy gets more confident that will help. What is really odd is I saw confidence to the maximum in that video. :/

"I'm attaching another long one and a shorter one." - Great. I will address them later in this message.

" The one in his room, I am talking happy mom talk and dad is shaking treats and sending wand toys around the room" - Great. I am glad I will be able to hear the sounds.

" but in reality, we can't do that all day long when he is out" - absolutely. That is where the confidence will come in.

"so they need to figure things out with each other as long as we don't go back to where we were with the residents being chased out of the family room and even upstairs." - Yes, that chasing is a sign of lack of confidence, lack of territorial security. We can handle that.

"It felt like we were rewarding poor behavior with a snack once in awhile. We would never have done that with a dog. " - Well, I don't really subscribe to the "rewarding bad behavior" with cats. Dogs yes, but not cats. I use food as a positive distraction to make a positive association (good food = good other cat) and making it a positive encounter (so no attack means no fear means no need to defend or attack).

"Yes, that video is awesome." - Really was. If they can do that once they can do that all of the time.

"Extending the time together and having everything go smoothly is amazing." - Agreed.

"I'm trying not to be too sensitive to their encounters that are not as smooth, but my resident boy's reaction is to retreat, hide under things, seek high places - all of which does not stop another encounter from happening." - Resident boy's reaction would be a sign of lack of confidence. Now in the video I didn't see that, I saw a confident cat. But given it is happening we need to continue working on his confidence. Using Play, Food, height and Love. A confident cat is less likely to attack or be attacked.

"He does stand his ground in some ways, though, and would always return." - That is great. That is more inline with the video. A better sign of confidence.

"I think my resident boy is interested in a friendship with him and I think they could have a great one." - The resident boy seems good (again going by the video). I think they will be fine. We just need to reinforce that trust between them. Seems like new boy we need to increase confidence and positive associations.

"Maybe this is how they will have it." - They are going to be fine. They will get along. How close they will be I don;t know. But as long as they are happy that is all that matters.

"For me, I have had only two cats so far and they do not cuddle with each other, but they do sit on the same landing of the cat tree and watch birds together." - As long as they are happy. That sounds very good to me. Some cats are not cuddlers. That is ok. As long as they are happy which it sounds like your residents are.

"They groom each other once in awhile and it usually ends up with them in a ninja warrior stance and a rumble on the floor for a few minutes and then they run and run and then rest together." - Yep, that does happen.

"My girl makes a calling sound that is reserved for her boy and he will get up and go to her when she makes it." - Yep. They will do that.

" I don't expect that type of friendship for the new boy with each of them anytime soon, but I hope it is not always the kind that results in clumps of cat hair all over the floor." - I would not worry about the future yet. We'll do everything possible to make it the best it can be. I think they are going to be just fine. We may have more work than I thought but we are going to get there. No way that video would have happened if we have real problems.

Now to the videos -

9/26 Video -

Was that the biting incident you mention previously? Right at the beginning of this video? That was like a love bite. And look how it didn't escalate.

New boy hides a little for some reason. And new girl starts playing which is great.

Then a cut and new boy is playing on his back. Then resident boy plays and then jumps towards new boy who is on his back (@1:25) and there is no reaction. THAT is VERY positive. It shows new boy trusts resident boy. And resident boy plays Looks really good, confident. And resident boy turns his back on new boy and new boy is on his side to resident boy. All positive trust signs.

I was wondering why resident girl went by the gate what sign that was giving but then she comes to play. GREAT!!!

Food bowls come out and new boy sniffs resident boy. Resident boy was fine with it. Really positive.

Resident boy gets the food first and new boy is fine.

Resident girl is watching from above. Caution?

New boy has his back to resident girl A sign of trust.

I would say this video was overall very positive. The ONLY concerns I had were resident girl by the gate and then boing up and not coming down at the end. And new boy going under the exercise equipment. But the positives way outweighed those concerns.

Let's see video 2 9/27 am -

First thing off - new boy paws. That was all play it seems. Resident boy goes on his side and new boy walks away. No aggression. I am not worried about new boy's actions. Resident boy may have been some insecurity. Resident boy is a little cautious after that BUT New Boy doesn't focus or go after Resident boy. And resident boy has his back to new boy.

Then New Boy (going to use NB and RB and RG for the cats going forward) goes towards RB to sniff and maybe play. Then RB swats and NB goes away. That was good resolution. RB stood up, told NB and NB respected.

NB then jumps towards RB and RB swats again. It almost looks like a play thing. And again, it doesn't go more negative which is GREAT.

Then at about 1:40 in RB goes low and looks to what to play and NB comes over and walks away.

The RB and NB play near the tunnel. RB goes in. Play swat. NB doesn't escalate. Gets distracted. REALLY positive. These are confidence building moments.

At about 3:15 NB runs to the toy towards RB and RB does not react and NB is playing. Awesome!!

How cute is it that RB is in the tunnel??? He looks so cute!!! NB is on his side with his back to RB. No fear there.

Good job on the toy acting like prey there.

Wow, at 4:40 NB pounces towards the toy in line with RB and RB doesn't flinch. Wow. Great.

At 5:00 or so there is a little swatting and cornering BUT it doesn't escalate and NB walks away. NB doesn't seem aggressive, maybe a little more than play but not worrying really.

Then RB rebounds nicely. Good reassurance towards him. The petting.

NB goes in the tunnel. RB had some maybe cautious body language but NB chooses t go in the tunnel. Great.

NB comes out of the tunnel and looks like he wants to play. RB doesn't want to. Some caution but again doesn't escalate.

At 6:30 there is a bit of a staredown and a minor "attack". I would like to distract when you get the staredown. If you get them to look away, chose something else that is good to do right there.

Then some swatting and RB defends and moves out of the corner. Segment ends then . What happened after?

RB is on the chair while NB is in the tunnel There is tension here. I would try to de-escalate, reassure, etc. Maybe even end it there.

Good job using food to distract.

@7:25 in look at RB's tail. It is moving. There is tension We want to reassure, distract in a positive way at that point.

NB is oblivious. Which is great.

Oh, NB sees it and the swats. So I expected that but sooner. Good job distracting and ending it before it got out of control. The good news is it wasn't that bad and NB was distracted to avoid a more negative situation. They did not want to hurt each other, they did show restraint.

NB rubs on the tunnel but then it escalates in a swatting. This is where we need to use distraction and possibly end the session. To avoid negativity. The body language got worse as the video went on. So watch the body language. It is all about quality over quantity and all about maximizing positive encounters and minimizing negative encounters.

But it is good it doesn't escalate. And I love that NB is distracted and turns his back on RB.

Then we see NB play a bit but then want to focus on RB then NB goes up on the cat tree forces down RB BUT doesn't chase him.

So the second video was ok but I would be more vocal to distract them, look at the body language and try to prevent the coming attack. Things like that. NB doesn't mean harm. RB doesn't always trust though and I didn't like the degradation of RB during that video. So we want to limit or avoid negativity to allow RB to trust more.

Does that make sense? Feel free to be more vocal and distract the cats to avoid the swatting or prevent it.

But I think they are fine. We need to fine tune but I don't see malice in NB. He seems to want to play more then when RB gets defensive it escalates a touch BUT they do know the limit. So there is no intent to hurt etc.

We can do this. I am not worried. We just need to tighten up a few things but they are going to be fine.

 

[JerseyCatMom]

Hello. Wanted to give a cat life update. We are on Day 3 of freedom. This is when things went south last time. So far, it has been going pretty well. We have had all three cats relaxed in the same room. Our resident girl does not enjoy the new guy's attention at all, but she is not running off and hiding in the bathtub like she did before. He will either go around her to avoid conflict or just jump on her as she walks by. We never know. But right now, she just got jumped on, hissed and rumbled, ran away and came back. They are now both in separate cat trees on either side of our fireplace, looking out the windows at our bird feeders. Our resident boy seems to enjoy the running with the new guy, but not the swatting so much. We are keeping to the same snack routine which gathers them together and we are still playing together. New guy seems pretty content. We have locked the new guy in his room for the last two nights after our evening snack and play. I don't think he will go for it again, but we shall see. We figured if we could keep them separated at night while they have all day together to work things out, then we can begin to trust the part of the day where we are not watching them. Also, he has not been eating during the day, so we hoped some time in his two rooms would help him remember to eat and sleep in his beloved fluffy bed. I have had the sweetest moments with him still, so I believe the extra time in his room where he only had me or my husband with him has helped our relationship with him. The first night, he came up on the top of the chair where I was sitting and then ended up curling up on my lap and sleeping. It was like he was so grateful to be out with us. I can't thank you enough for all of your help and all of the ideas to get them used to each other. Things are definitely not perfect, and they may never be, but I can see so much improvement and have a lot of hope for the future. As always, we welcome advice for future harmony and the day we feel like we can go away overnight to visit our boys and know everyone will not just survive, but thrive.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hello. Wanted to give a cat life update. We are on Day 3 of freedom. This is when things went south last time. So far, it has been going pretty well. We have had all three cats relaxed in the same room. Our resident girl does not enjoy the new guy's attention at all, but she is not running off and hiding in the bathtub like she did before. He will either go around her to avoid conflict or just jump on her as she walks by. We never know. But right now, she just got jumped on, hissed and rumbled, ran away and came back. They are now both in separate cat trees on either side of our fireplace, looking out the windows at our bird feeders. Our resident boy seems to enjoy the running with the new guy, but not the swatting so much. We are keeping to the same snack routine which gathers them together and we are still playing together. New guy seems pretty content. We have locked the new guy in his room for the last two nights after our evening snack and play. I don't think he will go for it again, but we shall see. We figured if we could keep them separated at night while they have all day together to work things out, then we can begin to trust the part of the day where we are not watching them. Also, he has not been eating during the day, so we hoped some time in his two rooms would help him remember to eat and sleep in his beloved fluffy bed. I have had the sweetest moments with him still, so I believe the extra time in his room where he only had me or my husband with him has helped our relationship with him. The first night, he came up on the top of the chair where I was sitting and then ended up curling up on my lap and sleeping. It was like he was so grateful to be out with us. I can't thank you enough for all of your help and all of the ideas to get them used to each other. Things are definitely not perfect, and they may never be, but I can see so much improvement and have a lot of hope for the future. As always, we welcome advice for future harmony and the day we feel like we can go away overnight to visit our boys and know everyone will not just survive, but thrive.

"Hello. Wanted to give a cat life update. We are on Day 3 of freedom." - Great

"This is when things went south last time." - Do you think you have a better base of trust now?

"So far, it has been going pretty well." - Great. Oftentimes it will early on so stay diligent. BUT I do think they are coming from a position of strength which is great. But just keep it as positive as possible.

"We have had all three cats relaxed in the same room." - Perfect. That tells me it will work out just fine. There will probably be some blips but use positive distraction and just make it as positive as possible and make those positive associations.

"Our resident girl does not enjoy the new guy's attention at all" - What kind of attention? Feel free to positively distract as needed.

" but she is not running off and hiding in the bathtub like she did before." - Great, tells me she is more confident and is trusting and accepting him more.

"He will either go around her to avoid conflict" - Great, that helps build her confidence and trust.

" or just jump on her as she walks by." - To play?

" We never know. But right now, she just got jumped on, hissed and rumbled, ran away and came back." - It is always about how fast they rebound and how they act. A fast rebound tells me it isn't serious. If new boy didn't cause more trouble etc that is positive as well.

"They are now both in separate cat trees on either side of our fireplace, looking out the windows at our bird feeders." - GREAT!!!

"Our resident boy seems to enjoy the running with the new guy, but not the swatting so much." - Just try to distract in a positive way. But again, if nothing escalates it is positive. They are probably working it out.

"We are keeping to the same snack routine which gathers them together and we are still playing together." - Great. Keep doing this.

" New guy seems pretty content." - Great. Keep playing with him and feeding treat after.

"We have locked the new guy in his room for the last two nights after our evening snack and play." - Great idea.

"I don't think he will go for it again, but we shall see." - Yes, once freedom is tasted it is difficult.

" We figured if we could keep them separated at night while they have all day together to work things out, then we can begin to trust the part of the day where we are not watching them." - Exactly the right thing to do.

" Also, he has not been eating during the day, so we hoped some time in his two rooms would help him remember to eat and sleep in his beloved fluffy bed." - Hmmmm. Cats often don't eat during the day. But we need to watch that.

"I have had the sweetest moments with him still, so I believe the extra time in his room where he only had me or my husband with him has helped our relationship with him." - Awwwwww, yes, he is feeling more comfortable. e is realizing the love that he has. Awesome!!!

'The first night, he came up on the top of the chair where I was sitting and then ended up curling up on my lap and sleeping. It was like he was so grateful to be out with us. " - PERFECT!!!! The Love part of building confidence.

"I can't thank you enough for all of your help and all of the ideas to get them used to each other." - You are very welcome

" Things are definitely not perfect, and they may never be, but I can see so much improvement and have a lot of hope for the future." - All will be fine and I think we can continue to improve things. Keep building confidence through Play, Food, Height and Love and make those positive associations and try to make every encounter as positive as possible using distraction to avoid negativity.

"As always, we welcome advice for future harmony and the day we feel like we can go away overnight to visit our boys and know everyone will not just survive, but thrive." - Absolutely. Just ask anything anytime. Happy to help. Hopefully above I have given the advice need but if you need more or more clarity happy to expand on it.

Just keep doing what you are doing. But it sounds like they are intro'd and we just need to clean up some loose ends. But overall, I call this success. We'll improve those little loose ends and make it even better.

THANK YOU for all the great work!!! You are your husband are AWESOME!!!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hello. Wanted to give a cat life update. We are on Day 3 of freedom. This is when things went south last time. So far, it has been going pretty well. We have had all three cats relaxed in the same room. Our resident girl does not enjoy the new guy's attention at all, but she is not running off and hiding in the bathtub like she did before. He will either go around her to avoid conflict or just jump on her as she walks by. We never know. But right now, she just got jumped on, hissed and rumbled, ran away and came back. They are now both in separate cat trees on either side of our fireplace, looking out the windows at our bird feeders. Our resident boy seems to enjoy the running with the new guy, but not the swatting so much. We are keeping to the same snack routine which gathers them together and we are still playing together. New guy seems pretty content. We have locked the new guy in his room for the last two nights after our evening snack and play. I don't think he will go for it again, but we shall see. We figured if we could keep them separated at night while they have all day together to work things out, then we can begin to trust the part of the day where we are not watching them. Also, he has not been eating during the day, so we hoped some time in his two rooms would help him remember to eat and sleep in his beloved fluffy bed. I have had the sweetest moments with him still, so I believe the extra time in his room where he only had me or my husband with him has helped our relationship with him. The first night, he came up on the top of the chair where I was sitting and then ended up curling up on my lap and sleeping. It was like he was so grateful to be out with us. I can't thank you enough for all of your help and all of the ideas to get them used to each other. Things are definitely not perfect, and they may never be, but I can see so much improvement and have a lot of hope for the future. As always, we welcome advice for future harmony and the day we feel like we can go away overnight to visit our boys and know everyone will not just survive, but thrive.

Just want to check in and make sure all is well.

 

[JerseyCatMom]

Hi. Thanks so much! We are doing pretty well. The boys have bonded, although things do get a little rough with my new boy who still believes in neck biting. He will actually go and snuggle up with our resident boy once in awhile. Brings tears to my eyes. Our girl is still not impressed. They are able to stand next to each other waiting for food, sniffing nose to nose with no issues. And, she is not hiding upstairs all the time. We have kept our nighttime play and snack routine upstairs which enables us to lock up the new boy for the night in his suite. He loves his room and his bed. When we go out for a brief period of time, we lock up either the new boy or the girl. There is no way we can leave all three alone together yet. Whenever we remark what a great day they had, the next day the new guy can't stop searching for the girl and whacking her. Some days she runs and some days she fights back. As I write this, she is on the top of the smaller cat tree and he is one step below jumping up whacking her. She stood her ground, he ran off and is now coming back to repeat his actions as my husband attempts to distract him. So that is our life. Definitely not where we started. We have a ways to go to get to the happily ever after. I may add another cat in there when we achieve that and throw the whole thing off balance again. Thank you so much for checking on us. I am forever grateful for all of your help!!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hi. Thanks so much! We are doing pretty well. The boys have bonded, although things do get a little rough with my new boy who still believes in neck biting. He will actually go and snuggle up with our resident boy once in awhile. Brings tears to my eyes. Our girl is still not impressed. They are able to stand next to each other waiting for food, sniffing nose to nose with no issues. And, she is not hiding upstairs all the time. We have kept our nighttime play and snack routine upstairs which enables us to lock up the new boy for the night in his suite. He loves his room and his bed. When we go out for a brief period of time, we lock up either the new boy or the girl. There is no way we can leave all three alone together yet. Whenever we remark what a great day they had, the next day the new guy can't stop searching for the girl and whacking her. Some days she runs and some days she fights back. As I write this, she is on the top of the smaller cat tree and he is one step below jumping up whacking her. She stood her ground, he ran off and is now coming back to repeat his actions as my husband attempts to distract him. So that is our life. Definitely not where we started. We have a ways to go to get to the happily ever after. I may add another cat in there when we achieve that and throw the whole thing off balance again. Thank you so much for checking on us. I am forever grateful for all of your help!!

"Thanks so much! We are doing pretty well." - Great

"The boys have bonded" - Fantastic

" although things do get a little rough with my new boy who still believes in neck biting." - Boys will be boys, they will do that. How they act after is really key.

" He will actually go and snuggle up with our resident boy once in awhile." - Awwwwwwww, amazing!!

" Brings tears to my eyes." - Totally it is beautiful.

" Our girl is still not impressed." - OK, keep working on making positive associations, maximizing positive encounters while minimizing or avoiding negative encounters and keep building confidence through Play, Food, Height and Love.

"They are able to stand next to each other waiting for food, sniffing nose to nose with no issues." THAT is great!!

" And, she is not hiding upstairs all the time." - Ok. But is she still hiding or avoiding?

" We have kept our nighttime play and snack routine upstairs which enables us to lock up the new boy for the night in his suite." - Great.

" He loves his room and his bed." - Great

" When we go out for a brief period of time, we lock up either the new boy or the girl." - Ok. Just keep working on those principles.

" There is no way we can leave all three alone together yet." - Ok, just because you fear something may not go well or is there evidence that there are issues?

" Whenever we remark what a great day they had, the next day the new guy can't stop searching for the girl and whacking her." - Ys, just distract in a positive way if possible. Then try to make a positive association. Do you think it is play?

"Some days she runs and some days she fights back." - Ok. How they act after is really key. A fast rebound tells us it is not really an issue. If there are lingering behavioral changes then we have some work.

"As I write this, she is on the top of the smaller cat tree and he is one step below jumping up whacking her." - Sounds like play, agree?

"She stood her ground, he ran off and is now coming back to repeat his actions" - Yep, sounds totally like he is trying to get her to play.

" as my husband attempts to distract him." - Perfect.

" So that is our life." - Sounds pretty good. Not perfect but they get along.

" Definitely not where we started. We have a ways to go to get to the happily ever after." - I don't think you have too far. I get a sense the new boy is messing about as boys tend to and doesn't mean harm. Again, it is how they react after and of course their body language in general.

"I may add another cat in there when we achieve that and throw the whole thing off balance again. " - :O It gets exponentially harder...........

" Thank you so much for checking on us. I am forever grateful for all of your help!! " - Oh my, THANK YOU for all you have done and the lives you have saved!! YOU and YOUR HUSBAND deserve all the credit!!

If you have any issues feel free to contact. You are doing great, you have some fine tuning but they are definitely intro'd. JOB WELL DONE!!!

Have a wonderful holiday season and stay safe.

 

[JerseyCatMom]

WOW!!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!!

Eating together no issues.

Resident boy turns his back on new boy. No issue.

New boy sniff resident boy. No issue.

New boy goes to resident boy's food. No issue.

New boy goes up to resident girl. No issue.

New boy makes a bit of a quick move to resident girl and she swats AND new boy accepts the message and doesn't escalate!!

I am blown away by this video. The trust that is there. The respect. Amazing.

I need to try to figure out how to observe them in the resident cats territory. Getting new boy back into his territory after. Hmmmmmmm.

I just don't know how territorial the residents will be. They sure are confident and trusting in this territory. How long have they been this good together?

You are soooooooooooo close. They are basically intro'd. We just need to tie up a loose end. I just need confirmation residents will accept in their territory.

Did you say there was another video? If so, can you put it in a post like you did this one?

GREAT job!! You and Hubby deserve serious praise!!

It has been fur-ever since I have posted. In fact, I don't know where I left off. But I wanted to say that things are going really, really well. All three cats can exist together. They are not besties, but we chose them and they did not choose each other, so we are ok with that. We have had all three cats on our bed together sleeping with us - not the norm, but it happened. We know how to handle the encounters that go too far, and we can go days without anything happening. We can leave our house with all three out and about, and not worry. We are very, very grateful for all the help we have received from everyone. Thanks again and God bless!