New (feral) cat introduction went well until it didn't

Furballsmom

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You had an amount in mind at first, sort of a going-rate fee?

I would deduct the cost of the replaced items, and also consider things like unreplenished litter possibly and if she didn't visit as many times as she said she would. This might be hard to judge but I'm assuming if you know she didn't interact with them that you had a camera or two in place? Anyway, that's my thinking. If you're able to get her paid, you can then move forward a little more easily. :purr:
 
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JerseyCatMom

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You had an amount in mind at first, sort of a going-rate fee?

I would deduct the cost of the replaced items, and also consider things like unreplenished litter possibly and if she didn't visit as many times as she said she would. This might be hard to judge but I'm assuming if you know she didn't interact with them that you had a camera or two in place? Anyway, that's my thinking. If you're able to get her paid, you can then move forward a little more easily. :purr:
Thanks! If I deducted what we had to replace, she would not get paid. We let it go for a week, then calmly sent a payment - decent, but not the highest we would have done.
Welcome back.

I am glad you had a good time. I know, the worry about the cats, it does make it difficult to get away and relax. :/

I am so sorry about the catsitter. It is very difficult to find good people. There are different levels of bad and hopefully this sitter was on the better end of that spectrum. :/

"we have been reassuring our cats that we love them and care for them" - Great. That is the key. Cats are more resilient than we may think. True love solves a lot of issues.

"and will NEVER leave them again." - I think we can find a good balance in the future.

"My new guy was afraid of us at first, even me," - That can happen. Change is hard for cats.

"but in less than a day, he was loving up a storm." - THAT is what I am talking about. When pure love is there they realize it. Our emotions are so important in helping cats. I am so glad to hear he rebounded so quickly.

"He still treats my husband like he is about to load him into a carrier and take him to the vet" - Yes, that will happen. Just have him feed the cat, make a positive association. Have your husband not force attention, to stay calm, confident and loving towards the cat. Your husband is really good with cats it seems so I have no doubt he will be fine.

" but he relaxes and plays if I am also in his room." - THAT is great. Positive association using play and you. EXACTLY the right thing to do.

"My resident boy has crawled into my lap a few times since we have been home, and he has not done that much since we added the new guy." - Awwwwwwww, that is really good. Love builds confidence.

"And our girl stays the same no matter what, but she started sleeping in between us again at night and just picked right up where she left off." Awwwww, perfect!!!

"So, we are doing the daddy barrier snack time again, and it has been going pretty well. They focus on the treats." - PERFECT. THat is what we want. Keep doing that.

"My resident boy has had a bit of an attitude during this time since we have returned and my husband says he won't get as close as he did before." - That is normal. Cats don;t like change so that usually causes disruption. But I know you will get him back to where he was and make even more progress. I am not at all worried.

"It is only a few inches difference, but he holds his ground and won't eat the snack until it is closer to him and not vice versa." - Oh, that isn't bad at all. I thought it would be worse. That is not an issue, I am not concerned at all.

"I have seen him acting moody a time or two near THE screen door when I am on the "wrong" side, so there is still work to be done there." - Yes, again totally normal and not unexpected. Just reassure him, talk lovingly, calmly and confidently to him. Just try to let him know everything is the same, all is good, etc. The less change, the more routine things are (normal), no threats or issues with access to food, litter box, etc the better he will do. I know you will get him there.

"He has always been a moody cat, but he will let me pick him up and snuggle until he says it's over." - Awwwwwwww, that is very good. Love does solve a lot of issue and it really does build confidence.

" Anyway, that is where we are at. Hopefully we can have a little more togetherness this weekend " - Well, I would say that is really good. I would have expected more of a setback but it sounds really good.

Keep doing what you are doing with feeding. Keep trying to build their confidence through Play, Food, Height and Love. Keep to a routine, a schedule. Stay calm, confident and loving. Basically all the things you have been doing.

We are on the home stretch. We'll get them intro'd.

Great job and I hope you had a wonderful vacation!!
Hi! I wanted to share a video of all of us in our new boy’s room. I think it is going well, but we can’t hold resident boy’s attention for long. He doesn’t have a long attention span for food / snacks / play. He just says “done” and walks away. First night, new guy left his treats to sniff his brother wandering around. Got him back on track. Second night, this video.
Wanted your advice. Do we break up encounters? Do we end snacks sooner? It’s all ended well so far, but we need advice. Thank you!!
 

calicosrspecial

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Thanks! If I deducted what we had to replace, she would not get paid. We let it go for a week, then calmly sent a payment - decent, but not the highest we would have done.

Hi! I wanted to share a video of all of us in our new boy’s room. I think it is going well, but we can’t hold resident boy’s attention for long. He doesn’t have a long attention span for food / snacks / play. He just says “done” and walks away. First night, new guy left his treats to sniff his brother wandering around. Got him back on track. Second night, this video.
Wanted your advice. Do we break up encounters? Do we end snacks sooner? It’s all ended well so far, but we need advice. Thank you!!
"I wanted to share a video of all of us in our new boy’s room." - Thanks for sharing.

I can't get over how ADORABLE and GORGEOUS your cats are!!!

"I think it is going well" - Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?! This video is AMAZING!!! I am blown away with where they are!!!! YOur husband is a SUPERSTAR!!! What an amazing job!!! Wow, I am over the moon right now with that video!!!

"but we can’t hold resident boy’s attention for long. He doesn’t have a long attention span for food / snacks / play. He just says “done” and walks away." - Yes, just do your best. Walking away is good. Anything that isn't negative is positive. If there isn't tension or staring that can;t be distracted where they look away, etc it is great. It is all about building trust letting them know the other cat is positive, can be trusted, etc.

"First night, new guy left his treats to sniff his brother wandering around." - Yep, normal, that is where we want to distract. Words, toys, treats, anything to get him focsed away from the other cat(s).

"Got him back on track." - And YES!!! THAT is a win!! A great sign, the right thing to do. GREAT JOB!!!

"Second night, this video." - Like I said, the 2nd video was amazing!! Body language was great, they weren't threatening, defensive. Looked confident. I can;t believe I saw this video. We need to keep repeating these positives to build that trust. I am SO PROUD of you, your husband and the cats!!!!

"Do we break up encounters?" - Depends. If you sense tension, yes. If it seems like it might be a bit too much distract with words (loving, calm, confident) or a treat or a toy. If they look away it is positive as it diffuses any potential tension or negativity.

"Do we end snacks sooner?" - Yeah, or slow them down. Test them a touch and use words and love to distract them. Just keep in mind to maximize the positive encounters and distract as needed.

"It’s all ended well so far" - It is amazing. I knew they were close but I am blown away happy with this video. It could have gone wrong in a few places and didn't. Like when the resident boy went behind the new boy or when the new boy went towards the resident girl. BUT we need to make sure when they do look at each other, get so close, etc that it stays positive as it can escalate quickly.

"but we need advice." - Absolutely. Did I answer your concerns? I am not sure. The video was really good. I might be a little more hands on with distraction but the cats did really well. If you can continue getting those results to build trust that would be great.

Thank you!!!! AMAZING job!!

If you can continue doing videos that would be great so I can see the body language. As I said, distract as needed and maximize positives and minimize or avoid negatives. And if there is a negative encounter reassure them after, try to make it positive and reassure them.

I have no doubt they will be intro'd now. AWESOME!! I am SO PROUD of you all (you, your husband and the cats!!!) Everyone is doing their part!!

:yess: :hyper: :clap2: :rock:
 
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JerseyCatMom

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"I wanted to share a video of all of us in our new boy’s room." - Thanks for sharing.

I can't get over how ADORABLE and GORGEOUS your cats are!!!

"I think it is going well" - Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?! This video is AMAZING!!! I am blown away with where they are!!!! YOur husband is a SUPERSTAR!!! What an amazing job!!! Wow, I am over the moon right now with that video!!!

"but we can’t hold resident boy’s attention for long. He doesn’t have a long attention span for food / snacks / play. He just says “done” and walks away." - Yes, just do your best. Walking away is good. Anything that isn't negative is positive. If there isn't tension or staring that can;t be distracted where they look away, etc it is great. It is all about building trust letting them know the other cat is positive, can be trusted, etc.

"First night, new guy left his treats to sniff his brother wandering around." - Yep, normal, that is where we want to distract. Words, toys, treats, anything to get him focsed away from the other cat(s).

"Got him back on track." - And YES!!! THAT is a win!! A great sign, the right thing to do. GREAT JOB!!!

"Second night, this video." - Like I said, the 2nd video was amazing!! Body language was great, they weren't threatening, defensive. Looked confident. I can;t believe I saw this video. We need to keep repeating these positives to build that trust. I am SO PROUD of you, your husband and the cats!!!!

"Do we break up encounters?" - Depends. If you sense tension, yes. If it seems like it might be a bit too much distract with words (loving, calm, confident) or a treat or a toy. If they look away it is positive as it diffuses any potential tension or negativity.

"Do we end snacks sooner?" - Yeah, or slow them down. Test them a touch and use words and love to distract them. Just keep in mind to maximize the positive encounters and distract as needed.

"It’s all ended well so far" - It is amazing. I knew they were close but I am blown away happy with this video. It could have gone wrong in a few places and didn't. Like when the resident boy went behind the new boy or when the new boy went towards the resident girl. BUT we need to make sure when they do look at each other, get so close, etc that it stays positive as it can escalate quickly.

"but we need advice." - Absolutely. Did I answer your concerns? I am not sure. The video was really good. I might be a little more hands on with distraction but the cats did really well. If you can continue getting those results to build trust that would be great.

Thank you!!!! AMAZING job!!

If you can continue doing videos that would be great so I can see the body language. As I said, distract as needed and maximize positives and minimize or avoid negatives. And if there is a negative encounter reassure them after, try to make it positive and reassure them.

I have no doubt they will be intro'd now. AWESOME!! I am SO PROUD of you all (you, your husband and the cats!!!) Everyone is doing their part!!

:yess: :hyper: :clap2: :rock:
Thanks for the encouragement. We are pleased yet cautious. During our first round of intros, way back, we had calm moments and were cautiously happy then. Not too much later, when both resident cats accepted the new guy, new guy took charge and began a reign of terror chasing and swatting them out of every room until he was tired and needed a nap. We know we have come a long way since then, but I still see unforgiveness/or maybe just kingdom syndrome in my resident boy and know he will try to be in charge again and fear the same scenario beginning all over. I think we have put in the time and the work to have a better outcome, but those insecurities are still there on our part. We are always praising and loving on our cats, but now we have entered a new realm of snack time togetherness, I think we are insecure as to what to do once the snack time seems to have ended. First night, my resident boy walked over to check out something and new guy came right over to sniff him head to tail. No reaction from resident, which was great. It brought back memories of new guy's intense in your face/butt sniffing that was not accepted by residents. But now both cats endured it, at least this time. Second night, resident boy wandered again and found a toy that may have been his once and acted like it was a long lost friend. I picked him and the toy up and exited and he rolled all over it outside the new guy's door. Toy has been completely abandoned since then. Resident girl just watches and walks out when she is done eating and observing. So maybe we should try some wand toys when things feel like they could go bad quickly, but resident boy will only eat / play / love on his terms and not when we say it is time. New guy will usually play easily, but is very distracted by the other cats outside his room when we are playing one on one. Yesterday we left early in the morning for my husband's mom's 80th birthday and got back in the evening - after driving 7-8 hours in one day (a lot of it on 95 with crazy people). We decided to do a simple snack time and go to bed. Tonight we do this again and will see how it goes. Thank you for being there for us.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thanks for the encouragement. We are pleased yet cautious. During our first round of intros, way back, we had calm moments and were cautiously happy then. Not too much later, when both resident cats accepted the new guy, new guy took charge and began a reign of terror chasing and swatting them out of every room until he was tired and needed a nap. We know we have come a long way since then, but I still see unforgiveness/or maybe just kingdom syndrome in my resident boy and know he will try to be in charge again and fear the same scenario beginning all over. I think we have put in the time and the work to have a better outcome, but those insecurities are still there on our part. We are always praising and loving on our cats, but now we have entered a new realm of snack time togetherness, I think we are insecure as to what to do once the snack time seems to have ended. First night, my resident boy walked over to check out something and new guy came right over to sniff him head to tail. No reaction from resident, which was great. It brought back memories of new guy's intense in your face/butt sniffing that was not accepted by residents. But now both cats endured it, at least this time. Second night, resident boy wandered again and found a toy that may have been his once and acted like it was a long lost friend. I picked him and the toy up and exited and he rolled all over it outside the new guy's door. Toy has been completely abandoned since then. Resident girl just watches and walks out when she is done eating and observing. So maybe we should try some wand toys when things feel like they could go bad quickly, but resident boy will only eat / play / love on his terms and not when we say it is time. New guy will usually play easily, but is very distracted by the other cats outside his room when we are playing one on one. Yesterday we left early in the morning for my husband's mom's 80th birthday and got back in the evening - after driving 7-8 hours in one day (a lot of it on 95 with crazy people). We decided to do a simple snack time and go to bed. Tonight we do this again and will see how it goes. Thank you for being there for us.
"We are pleased yet cautious." - Understandable. And being diligent is good.

"During our first round of intros, way back, we had calm moments and were cautiously happy then. Not too much later, when both resident cats accepted the new guy, new guy took charge and began a reign of terror chasing and swatting them out of every room until he was tired and needed a nap." - Yes, that happens. I wasn't there obviously but that is why we continue to reinforce positive encounters to build that solid base of trust and confidence. We still need to put in the effort and there are always ups and downs but handling them quickly and not letting negatives reinforce is key. We are going to walk you through everything and anything you face. My point is, I now know they will be intro'd. We do have work and maintenance to do but now I know (if that makes sense). It is a bit hard to describe.

"I still see unforgiveness/or maybe just kingdom syndrome in my resident boy and know he will try to be in charge again and fear the same scenario beginning all over." - We can deal with that. It really is all about trust and confidence. The acceptance and trust is in the resident boy (I saw it in the video) so I know we can maximize those emotions. I am not worried. Yes, there will probably be moments but how we handle it is what is important. The resident boy has acceptance in him. We'll continue to have him show us.

"I think we have put in the time and the work to have a better outcome" - You ABSOLUTELY have!!!

", but those insecurities are still there on our part." - Totally understandable. But also remember, let the cats tell you what is going on (don;t assume) and also remember cats take on our emotions so if they sense our anxiety they will pick it up and then it can cause issues. I will say, your husband was incredible in the video. He could have panicked, etc but he didn't and I think that helped the situation immensely.

"We are always praising and loving on our cats" - Yes and that is great. The Love part of building confidence.

" but now we have entered a new realm of snack time togetherness, I think we are insecure as to what to do once the snack time seems to have ended." - For now, just end it on a positive note. At some point distract them so that they are around each other but not focused on each other. To give the other cat space, more room to trust that nothing could go wrong. In the video I personally would not have let them go that far BUT it worked. Now your husband did an amazing job of distracting them to ensure a positive encounter. But for now I would probably keep those more minimal. But if it is going well and distraction works then it is good. It is really more art than science. Think positive encounter, distraction when need, avoid negatives and end on a positive.

"First night, my resident boy walked over to check out something and new guy came right over to sniff him head to tail. No reaction from resident, which was great. It brought back memories of new guy's intense in your face/butt sniffing that was not accepted by residents. But now both cats endured it, at least this time." - Yes. So in that situation I personally would have distracted before the sniffing (because it is probably a bit too early). And anytime we get a cat to be distracted it gives the other cat(s) a sense of trust that this cat is not going to go after them. And avoiding a confrontation is a positive an builds trust and confidence. Now, it did work so they are probably further along than I thought (which is great) BUT I don;t want to push it. I want to reinforce that trust. SO when they look at each other or start moving towards each other a positive distraction gives a break/trust to the other cat that the cat doesn't mean anything (which of course they don;t because they aren't attacking).

"Second night, resident boy wandered again and found a toy that may have been his once and acted like it was a long lost friend. I picked him and the toy up and exited and he rolled all over it outside the new guy's door. Toy has been completely abandoned since then." - Was that after the video I saw? It is good that the toy was a positive distraction. I don't think that is bad at all. I think you handled it well but I may have monitored and distracted the new boy to see if we could get a positive encounter out of it. But again, it is more art than science and whatever avoid a negative is a positive and the right thing to do.

"Resident girl just watches and walks out when she is done eating and observing." - THAT is perfect!! That tells me she isn't afraid of the new boy (which is great) and as long as she walks away normal that she is confident and trusting. I think that is great.

"So maybe we should try some wand toys when things feel like they could go bad quickly" - Yes, anything that is a positive distraction. SO anything that works. A loving, calm confident word, a safe action of love (so you are not at risk of being hurt in anyway), a toy.

"but resident boy will only eat / play / love on his terms and not when we say it is time." - Yep, that often is the way. But then focus on the new guy. So if the new guy isn't focused on resident boy then the risk of a negative confrontation is reduced. Now, using a toy could cause some overstimulation which could cause an encounter so we need to be cognizant of that.

"New guy will usually play easily, but is very distracted by the other cats outside his room when we are playing one on one." - Yes, that is normal. But again, as long as nothing negative happens it is a positive. If he is watching calmly while not playing that is a positive encoutner.

"Yesterday we left early in the morning for my husband's mom's 80th birthday and got back in the evening - after driving 7-8 hours in one day (a lot of it on 95 with crazy people). We decided to do a simple snack time and go to bed." - Glad you got home safely

"Tonight we do this again and will see how it goes." - Sounds good. Just keep it positive. It is all about quality of the time not the length.

"Thank you for being there for us." - Oh my, you are very welcome but THANK YOU for saving another life AND doing all you are to ensure that they have a forever home.

Don't worry, you are doing great and all is going to be well. There will be ups and downs but I know we can handle them. I am not at all worried because you two are doing all the right things and the cats are doing their part. Doesn't get any better than that!!
 
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JerseyCatMom

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Hey! I have a few more videos, but they have to be uploaded by my husband to his account. So, I will describe. :)

Thursday night - Cats in circle, all goes really well. After her snack, resident girl jumps on bed and settles down for the night looking out window by bed. She is not looking back at anyone, and very relaxed. Resident boy wanders around room as his new normal now. New boy continues with snack. Looks at friends, but prefers snack over encounters. Nothing happens other than resident cats have found new hangout and new boy is happy with snacks. While new boy now plays with wand toys with Dad, Mom opens door for resident boy who is done exploring. Resident girl plans to stay on bed looking out open window until she is ready to leave, but Mom lovingly picks up non-snuggly cat who only seeks Mom encounters for food and very rare nap time/bed time snuggles. Successful night.

Friday night - Cats are now in a snack circle. Resident boy looks like he is skipping snack, but comes back to eat a bit then walks away right in front of new boy. New boy doesn't want to leave his favorite treats, but is making his cats are near me sound while eating. Snack party now only two while resident boy jumps up on new boy's desk to look out window. Resident girl runs out of snacks, walks behind her dad and jumps up on bed, but looking down at snack time. Too much for happy new boy to have all this company, so he leaves his snack, jumps on the bed and closes in for the sniff. Resident girl hisses and new boy jumps in shock - basically up on his back two legs. He just stays and stares at her. Dad reaches up with snack and shows him, so he comes back down to safety with Dad and continues snack. Resident boy wonders what is going on. Dad gives hissy girl more snack on bed to end the encounter with happy happy time. Resident boy goes over, sniffs new boy's tail, jumps on bed and starts to walk over to resident girl. Resident girl hisses at him while he is a foot away and he doesn't flinch because he knows her hiss is just a hiss and he walks right up to her. At Dad's request, Mom goes over and picks up resident boy and gives him lots of snuggles and pets as she exits with him. Mom comes back for resident girl and she hisses at Mom, but Mom also knows her hiss is just a hiss and carries her out of the room holding her snack in front of her so she can see it. Dad confesses allowing night to go like this to see how they will react with each other. I believe Dad is ready for room to become guest room again and needed to see how far along we are in becoming a family who all live together.

:)
 
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Two more days of normal, safe encounters. Now dad decides to slow down feeding of snack to new guy so he can notice the other cats in the room with him. Mom prompts dad to hurry up and give him more of his snack not knowing the new plan. New guy leaves empty plate and runs up to resident boy. No reaction from resident, dad regains new guy's interest in snack. Resident boy decides to check out new guy's food dish that is identical to his and only opens for the right microchip which is not his. New guy runs to him to tell him that is his food, but resident boy moves on and new guy goes back to snack with some coaxing. Resident boy decides to do a tour along his normal path around the room; new guy runs up to him and whacks him and does air whacking at him. Resident boy turns around and mom lets him out of room. Resident girl has had her own close encounters, but no reaction. Mom calls resident girl to come out of room and she gets to edge of room and decides to rest there. Mom picks up her reluctant body and ends the night. In the morning, mom questions dad about his apparent decision to not do the distraction technique and dad decides that was not his best idea. Dad has no idea of next steps and is trying to progress the never ending cat living in separate room and parents spending hours with said cat dreaming of normal life with all three together. To be continued...
 

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In the morning, mom questions dad about his apparent decision to not do the distraction technique and dad decides that was not his best idea. Dad has no idea of next steps and is trying to progress the never ending cat living in separate room a
This actually was fantastic, and I personally would repeat this. Your dad is more on the right track than he realizes :)!
 
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JerseyCatMom

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Mine like to play whappy-paws with each other- bopping on the head. Does it look playful? Wow residents with no reaction! Great.
In May, it was definitely not playing. Not sure this time around. I need to record another video so y’all can help me decipher this cat’s intentions. I wish he could read my resident cats better and go slower, but I guess his colony was more in your face interactions.
 
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"We are pleased yet cautious." - Understandable. And being diligent is good.

"During our first round of intros, way back, we had calm moments and were cautiously happy then. Not too much later, when both resident cats accepted the new guy, new guy took charge and began a reign of terror chasing and swatting them out of every room until he was tired and needed a nap." - Yes, that happens. I wasn't there obviously but that is why we continue to reinforce positive encounters to build that solid base of trust and confidence. We still need to put in the effort and there are always ups and downs but handling them quickly and not letting negatives reinforce is key. We are going to walk you through everything and anything you face. My point is, I now know they will be intro'd. We do have work and maintenance to do but now I know (if that makes sense). It is a bit hard to describe.

"I still see unforgiveness/or maybe just kingdom syndrome in my resident boy and know he will try to be in charge again and fear the same scenario beginning all over." - We can deal with that. It really is all about trust and confidence. The acceptance and trust is in the resident boy (I saw it in the video) so I know we can maximize those emotions. I am not worried. Yes, there will probably be moments but how we handle it is what is important. The resident boy has acceptance in him. We'll continue to have him show us.

"I think we have put in the time and the work to have a better outcome" - You ABSOLUTELY have!!!

", but those insecurities are still there on our part." - Totally understandable. But also remember, let the cats tell you what is going on (don;t assume) and also remember cats take on our emotions so if they sense our anxiety they will pick it up and then it can cause issues. I will say, your husband was incredible in the video. He could have panicked, etc but he didn't and I think that helped the situation immensely.

"We are always praising and loving on our cats" - Yes and that is great. The Love part of building confidence.

" but now we have entered a new realm of snack time togetherness, I think we are insecure as to what to do once the snack time seems to have ended." - For now, just end it on a positive note. At some point distract them so that they are around each other but not focused on each other. To give the other cat space, more room to trust that nothing could go wrong. In the video I personally would not have let them go that far BUT it worked. Now your husband did an amazing job of distracting them to ensure a positive encounter. But for now I would probably keep those more minimal. But if it is going well and distraction works then it is good. It is really more art than science. Think positive encounter, distraction when need, avoid negatives and end on a positive.

"First night, my resident boy walked over to check out something and new guy came right over to sniff him head to tail. No reaction from resident, which was great. It brought back memories of new guy's intense in your face/butt sniffing that was not accepted by residents. But now both cats endured it, at least this time." - Yes. So in that situation I personally would have distracted before the sniffing (because it is probably a bit too early). And anytime we get a cat to be distracted it gives the other cat(s) a sense of trust that this cat is not going to go after them. And avoiding a confrontation is a positive an builds trust and confidence. Now, it did work so they are probably further along than I thought (which is great) BUT I don;t want to push it. I want to reinforce that trust. SO when they look at each other or start moving towards each other a positive distraction gives a break/trust to the other cat that the cat doesn't mean anything (which of course they don;t because they aren't attacking).

"Second night, resident boy wandered again and found a toy that may have been his once and acted like it was a long lost friend. I picked him and the toy up and exited and he rolled all over it outside the new guy's door. Toy has been completely abandoned since then." - Was that after the video I saw? It is good that the toy was a positive distraction. I don't think that is bad at all. I think you handled it well but I may have monitored and distracted the new boy to see if we could get a positive encounter out of it. But again, it is more art than science and whatever avoid a negative is a positive and the right thing to do.

"Resident girl just watches and walks out when she is done eating and observing." - THAT is perfect!! That tells me she isn't afraid of the new boy (which is great) and as long as she walks away normal that she is confident and trusting. I think that is great.

"So maybe we should try some wand toys when things feel like they could go bad quickly" - Yes, anything that is a positive distraction. SO anything that works. A loving, calm confident word, a safe action of love (so you are not at risk of being hurt in anyway), a toy.

"but resident boy will only eat / play / love on his terms and not when we say it is time." - Yep, that often is the way. But then focus on the new guy. So if the new guy isn't focused on resident boy then the risk of a negative confrontation is reduced. Now, using a toy could cause some overstimulation which could cause an encounter so we need to be cognizant of that.

"New guy will usually play easily, but is very distracted by the other cats outside his room when we are playing one on one." - Yes, that is normal. But again, as long as nothing negative happens it is a positive. If he is watching calmly while not playing that is a positive encoutner.

"Yesterday we left early in the morning for my husband's mom's 80th birthday and got back in the evening - after driving 7-8 hours in one day (a lot of it on 95 with crazy people). We decided to do a simple snack time and go to bed." - Glad you got home safely

"Tonight we do this again and will see how it goes." - Sounds good. Just keep it positive. It is all about quality of the time not the length.

"Thank you for being there for us." - Oh my, you are very welcome but THANK YOU for saving another life AND doing all you are to ensure that they have a forever home.

Don't worry, you are doing great and all is going to be well. There will be ups and downs but I know we can handle them. I am not at all worried because you two are doing all the right things and the cats are doing their part. Doesn't get any better than that!!


Sorry to bug you again. I was hoping you could give us a few next steps as we are in a bit of a rut. We have been having snack time in a circle in new boy's room for awhile now. At first, resident boy would wander in the room and explore. After the whacking incident, he now goes in, eats his snack and exits. It is a calm circle of cats eating a snack together and then the residents exit. Resident girl takes coaxing because she is interested in more snacks. When the snack supply was slowed down for the new boy, he became the wanderer and sniffed resident girl and stalked resident boy, giving him a whack when he started walking along the wall behind him and then air whacks. Snack time continued, no hissing or yelling, just that whack. Do we continue the happy gatherings or allow more encounters that may go badly. Do we buy an older home with more defined spaces and live separate lives. Thank you for any advice. Sorry to be so needy.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hey! I have a few more videos, but they have to be uploaded by my husband to his account. So, I will describe. :)

Thursday night - Cats in circle, all goes really well. After her snack, resident girl jumps on bed and settles down for the night looking out window by bed. She is not looking back at anyone, and very relaxed. Resident boy wanders around room as his new normal now. New boy continues with snack. Looks at friends, but prefers snack over encounters. Nothing happens other than resident cats have found new hangout and new boy is happy with snacks. While new boy now plays with wand toys with Dad, Mom opens door for resident boy who is done exploring. Resident girl plans to stay on bed looking out open window until she is ready to leave, but Mom lovingly picks up non-snuggly cat who only seeks Mom encounters for food and very rare nap time/bed time snuggles. Successful night.

Friday night - Cats are now in a snack circle. Resident boy looks like he is skipping snack, but comes back to eat a bit then walks away right in front of new boy. New boy doesn't want to leave his favorite treats, but is making his cats are near me sound while eating. Snack party now only two while resident boy jumps up on new boy's desk to look out window. Resident girl runs out of snacks, walks behind her dad and jumps up on bed, but looking down at snack time. Too much for happy new boy to have all this company, so he leaves his snack, jumps on the bed and closes in for the sniff. Resident girl hisses and new boy jumps in shock - basically up on his back two legs. He just stays and stares at her. Dad reaches up with snack and shows him, so he comes back down to safety with Dad and continues snack. Resident boy wonders what is going on. Dad gives hissy girl more snack on bed to end the encounter with happy happy time. Resident boy goes over, sniffs new boy's tail, jumps on bed and starts to walk over to resident girl. Resident girl hisses at him while he is a foot away and he doesn't flinch because he knows her hiss is just a hiss and he walks right up to her. At Dad's request, Mom goes over and picks up resident boy and gives him lots of snuggles and pets as she exits with him. Mom comes back for resident girl and she hisses at Mom, but Mom also knows her hiss is just a hiss and carries her out of the room holding her snack in front of her so she can see it. Dad confesses allowing night to go like this to see how they will react with each other. I believe Dad is ready for room to become guest room again and needed to see how far along we are in becoming a family who all live together.

:)
Oh my, I never got a notice of your update. I am so sorry!!!

"Thursday night - Cats in circle, all goes really well. After her snack, resident girl jumps on bed and settles down for the night looking out window by bed. She is not looking back at anyone, and very relaxed. Resident boy wanders around room as his new normal now. New boy continues with snack. Looks at friends, but prefers snack over encounters. Nothing happens other than resident cats have found new hangout and new boy is happy with snacks. While new boy now plays with wand toys with Dad, Mom opens door for resident boy who is done exploring. Resident girl plans to stay on bed looking out open window until she is ready to leave, but Mom lovingly picks up non-snuggly cat who only seeks Mom encounters for food and very rare nap time/bed time snuggles. Successful night." - AWESOME!!!

"Friday night - Cats are now in a snack circle. Resident boy looks like he is skipping snack, but comes back to eat a bit then walks away right in front of new boy. New boy doesn't want to leave his favorite treats, but is making his cats are near me sound while eating. Snack party now only two while resident boy jumps up on new boy's desk to look out window. Resident girl runs out of snacks, walks behind her dad and jumps up on bed, but looking down at snack time. Too much for happy new boy to have all this company, so he leaves his snack, jumps on the bed and closes in for the sniff. Resident girl hisses and new boy jumps in shock - basically up on his back two legs. He just stays and stares at her. Dad reaches up with snack and shows him, so he comes back down to safety with Dad and continues snack. Resident boy wonders what is going on. Dad gives hissy girl more snack on bed to end the encounter with happy happy time. Resident boy goes over, sniffs new boy's tail, jumps on bed and starts to walk over to resident girl. Resident girl hisses at him while he is a foot away and he doesn't flinch because he knows her hiss is just a hiss and he walks right up to her. At Dad's request, Mom goes over and picks up resident boy and gives him lots of snuggles and pets as she exits with him. Mom comes back for resident girl and she hisses at Mom, but Mom also knows her hiss is just a hiss and carries her out of the room holding her snack in front of her so she can see it. Dad confesses allowing night to go like this to see how they will react with each other. I believe Dad is ready for room to become guest room again and needed to see how far along we are in becoming a family who all live together." - This is really good also. Some tests but no escalation. So there is trust, respect. Communication respected. Able to be distracted. Mom and Dad dd a GREAT job!!!!

"Two more days of normal, safe encounters." - Great!!

" Now dad decides to slow down feeding of snack to new guy so he can notice the other cats in the room with him. Mom prompts dad to hurry up and give him more of his snack not knowing the new plan. New guy leaves empty plate and runs up to resident boy. No reaction from resident, dad regains new guy's interest in snack." - Are you kidding me?!?!?!?! N REACTION from resident boy?!?!?!?!?!?! :yess: :clap2: :hyper:


"Resident boy decides to check out new guy's food dish that is identical to his and only opens for the right microchip which is not his. New guy runs to him to tell him that is his food, but resident boy moves on and new guy goes back to snack with some coaxing." - WOW!!! This is amazing!!!

"Resident boy decides to do a tour along his normal path around the room; new guy runs up to him and whacks him and does air whacking at him." - So this shows restraint. I know you may be disappointed but it shows he doesn't want to hurt, attack. A little defensive or bullying showing us some territorial insecurity but pretty normal and expected. BUT it doesn't escalate and ends on a positive note. I am encouraged.

"Resident boy turns around and mom lets him out of room." - Perfect. End on a good note.

"Resident girl has had her own close encounters, but no reaction." - Key is no reaction. Again, trust and respect are there.

"Mom calls resident girl to come out of room and she gets to edge of room and decides to rest there. Mom picks up her reluctant body and ends the night. In the morning, mom questions dad about his apparent decision to not do the distraction technique and dad decides that was not his best idea." - I am not at all bothered by the decision. Actually tells us a lot about where they are. Answer- In a very good to excellent place.

"Dad has no idea of next steps and is trying to progress the never ending cat living in separate room and parents spending hours with said cat dreaming of normal life with all three together. To be continued..." - You are VERY close. I'll continue on your more recent posts then we'll have a plan for moving forward.

"I was hoping you could give us a few next steps as we are in a bit of a rut. We have been having snack time in a circle in new boy's room for awhile now." - Great.

" At first, resident boy would wander in the room and explore. After the whacking incident, he now goes in, eats his snack and exits." - That is fine. Resident is respecting new boy's territory. He chooses to leave be rather than fight. THAT is what we are looking for.

"It is a calm circle of cats eating a snack together and then the residents exit." - Perfect. We want them to chose acceptance rather than confrontation.

"Resident girl takes coaxing because she is interested in more snacks." - Understandable.

" When the snack supply was slowed down for the new boy, he became the wanderer and sniffed resident girl and stalked resident boy, giving him a whack when he started walking along the wall behind him and then air whacks. Snack time continued, no hissing or yelling, just that whack." - That is normal. Sounds like the new guy is pretty normal. May be feeling a touch insecure but that can be fixed. BUT I am ecstatic at how the residents are behaving/accepting as they tend to have to most difficult time adjsuting since it is their territory being "invaded".

"Do we continue the happy gatherings or allow more encounters that may go badly." - Yes.

"Do we buy an older home with more defined spaces and live separate lives." - NO!!! No need to!!!

"Thank you for any advice. Sorry to be so needy." - You are welcome and you are not needy!! This is why we are here.

So what I would like to do is step up play with new boy in his territory. Also, add some things with the residents scent on them in his territory. Let's move treat time more into resident cats territory so maybe 3-5 feet away from new boy's territory. Let's see how they do with that.

Is new boy coming out into resident territory? And if so, how is he doing? Maybe coax him out to play with a toy.

Overall, I think they are doing great. I am not at all worried about what I am reading and am actually encouraged that new boy is showing restraint and that we are seeing respect and acceptance.

Our goal will be expanding new boy's territory and getting the residents to accept him in their territory. You are VERY close. GREAT job!!
 
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JerseyCatMom

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Oh my, I never got a notice of your update. I am so sorry!!!

"Thursday night - Cats in circle, all goes really well. After her snack, resident girl jumps on bed and settles down for the night looking out window by bed. She is not looking back at anyone, and very relaxed. Resident boy wanders around room as his new normal now. New boy continues with snack. Looks at friends, but prefers snack over encounters. Nothing happens other than resident cats have found new hangout and new boy is happy with snacks. While new boy now plays with wand toys with Dad, Mom opens door for resident boy who is done exploring. Resident girl plans to stay on bed looking out open window until she is ready to leave, but Mom lovingly picks up non-snuggly cat who only seeks Mom encounters for food and very rare nap time/bed time snuggles. Successful night." - AWESOME!!!

"Friday night - Cats are now in a snack circle. Resident boy looks like he is skipping snack, but comes back to eat a bit then walks away right in front of new boy. New boy doesn't want to leave his favorite treats, but is making his cats are near me sound while eating. Snack party now only two while resident boy jumps up on new boy's desk to look out window. Resident girl runs out of snacks, walks behind her dad and jumps up on bed, but looking down at snack time. Too much for happy new boy to have all this company, so he leaves his snack, jumps on the bed and closes in for the sniff. Resident girl hisses and new boy jumps in shock - basically up on his back two legs. He just stays and stares at her. Dad reaches up with snack and shows him, so he comes back down to safety with Dad and continues snack. Resident boy wonders what is going on. Dad gives hissy girl more snack on bed to end the encounter with happy happy time. Resident boy goes over, sniffs new boy's tail, jumps on bed and starts to walk over to resident girl. Resident girl hisses at him while he is a foot away and he doesn't flinch because he knows her hiss is just a hiss and he walks right up to her. At Dad's request, Mom goes over and picks up resident boy and gives him lots of snuggles and pets as she exits with him. Mom comes back for resident girl and she hisses at Mom, but Mom also knows her hiss is just a hiss and carries her out of the room holding her snack in front of her so she can see it. Dad confesses allowing night to go like this to see how they will react with each other. I believe Dad is ready for room to become guest room again and needed to see how far along we are in becoming a family who all live together." - This is really good also. Some tests but no escalation. So there is trust, respect. Communication respected. Able to be distracted. Mom and Dad dd a GREAT job!!!!

"Two more days of normal, safe encounters." - Great!!

" Now dad decides to slow down feeding of snack to new guy so he can notice the other cats in the room with him. Mom prompts dad to hurry up and give him more of his snack not knowing the new plan. New guy leaves empty plate and runs up to resident boy. No reaction from resident, dad regains new guy's interest in snack." - Are you kidding me?!?!?!?! N REACTION from resident boy?!?!?!?!?!?! :yess: :clap2: :hyper:


"Resident boy decides to check out new guy's food dish that is identical to his and only opens for the right microchip which is not his. New guy runs to him to tell him that is his food, but resident boy moves on and new guy goes back to snack with some coaxing." - WOW!!! This is amazing!!!

"Resident boy decides to do a tour along his normal path around the room; new guy runs up to him and whacks him and does air whacking at him." - So this shows restraint. I know you may be disappointed but it shows he doesn't want to hurt, attack. A little defensive or bullying showing us some territorial insecurity but pretty normal and expected. BUT it doesn't escalate and ends on a positive note. I am encouraged.

"Resident boy turns around and mom lets him out of room." - Perfect. End on a good note.

"Resident girl has had her own close encounters, but no reaction." - Key is no reaction. Again, trust and respect are there.

"Mom calls resident girl to come out of room and she gets to edge of room and decides to rest there. Mom picks up her reluctant body and ends the night. In the morning, mom questions dad about his apparent decision to not do the distraction technique and dad decides that was not his best idea." - I am not at all bothered by the decision. Actually tells us a lot about where they are. Answer- In a very good to excellent place.

"Dad has no idea of next steps and is trying to progress the never ending cat living in separate room and parents spending hours with said cat dreaming of normal life with all three together. To be continued..." - You are VERY close. I'll continue on your more recent posts then we'll have a plan for moving forward.

"I was hoping you could give us a few next steps as we are in a bit of a rut. We have been having snack time in a circle in new boy's room for awhile now." - Great.

" At first, resident boy would wander in the room and explore. After the whacking incident, he now goes in, eats his snack and exits." - That is fine. Resident is respecting new boy's territory. He chooses to leave be rather than fight. THAT is what we are looking for.

"It is a calm circle of cats eating a snack together and then the residents exit." - Perfect. We want them to chose acceptance rather than confrontation.

"Resident girl takes coaxing because she is interested in more snacks." - Understandable.

" When the snack supply was slowed down for the new boy, he became the wanderer and sniffed resident girl and stalked resident boy, giving him a whack when he started walking along the wall behind him and then air whacks. Snack time continued, no hissing or yelling, just that whack." - That is normal. Sounds like the new guy is pretty normal. May be feeling a touch insecure but that can be fixed. BUT I am ecstatic at how the residents are behaving/accepting as they tend to have to most difficult time adjsuting since it is their territory being "invaded".

"Do we continue the happy gatherings or allow more encounters that may go badly." - Yes.

"Do we buy an older home with more defined spaces and live separate lives." - NO!!! No need to!!!

"Thank you for any advice. Sorry to be so needy." - You are welcome and you are not needy!! This is why we are here.

So what I would like to do is step up play with new boy in his territory. Also, add some things with the residents scent on them in his territory. Let's move treat time more into resident cats territory so maybe 3-5 feet away from new boy's territory. Let's see how they do with that.

Is new boy coming out into resident territory? And if so, how is he doing? Maybe coax him out to play with a toy.

Overall, I think they are doing great. I am not at all worried about what I am reading and am actually encouraged that new boy is showing restraint and that we are seeing respect and acceptance.

Our goal will be expanding new boy's territory and getting the residents to accept him in their territory. You are VERY close. GREAT job!!

Thank you so very much for your reply. We did decide to try snack time in the other cat room this week. It is the room connected by the "pet door" between the closets. This room is mostly open for the resident cats, but we give our new guy a chance to explore it once in awhile. On that day, he did not have access until I got home from work and then he sniffed away at everything, especially their litter box. At night, he went in there for snack time and the residents came in to join him. The next night, we had the residents in there eating and then invited him in. Still had a calm encounter with residents leaving after finishing their snack. My girl never wants to leave, but eventually she gives in. We thought we would use this room that was more neutral ground. As far as residents' territory beyond this room, I have no idea how we would get him back into his room afterwards if we were out more into the house beyond the doors. If seated on the floor, I can now pick him up and put him on my lap for maybe 10 seconds, sometimes a full minute. He sometimes runs from us if we go near him while standing. He still has many, many fears and will hide even from us. The good news is that I can now coax him back out of his hiding place with some love.

Right outside his room is the hallway with an easy jump through the balusters to the landing on the stairs. Across from his room is the bedroom that we connected to his. We had another encounter that I really want you to see (all good). The video is dark because of the poor lighting in there and I started to empty my youngest son's dresser on Monday so not the wide open floor like usual, but you can still see how they are acting around each other with the snack distraction. My husband usually has everything perfect and then the cats come in, but he decided to give them time together while he got the snack ready, so they ended up with the new guy in the middle. I hope to have the video today, but hubby is distracted by another home improvement project and is apparently living in Home Depot today. Each encounter has gone really well with no reactions from either cat when the new guy approaches. My resident guy is more likely to react (somewhat negatively) with the screen door in between where he feels safe.

Last night's snack time ended with both resident cats walking out (always have to bring snack dish out to get my girl), but then all three cats got involved in play time with a wand toy, but on opposite sides of the screen door.

New guy is more than ready to be out. He was jumping at the door latch early this morning. Once my husband goes in and plays with him, then I go in and give him tons of love and hang out with him, he is calm and ready to nap. There would not be any issue with getting him out, just getting him back in. The first time he was out, we got him back in at night with toys and food - for a couple days - then he caught on. But, I will do whatever I need to do to get them all to the next stage. I had my resident boy sleeping next to me on the sofa last night and my girl next to my feet on the ottoman, and there was room for my new guy on the other side of me, but I always think I may just be dreaming, but everyone has to have some kind of dream. :)

Thank you for being there, listening and advising. I hope to be someone who can give cat advice one day!!
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you so very much for your reply. We did decide to try snack time in the other cat room this week. It is the room connected by the "pet door" between the closets. This room is mostly open for the resident cats, but we give our new guy a chance to explore it once in awhile. On that day, he did not have access until I got home from work and then he sniffed away at everything, especially their litter box. At night, he went in there for snack time and the residents came in to join him. The next night, we had the residents in there eating and then invited him in. Still had a calm encounter with residents leaving after finishing their snack. My girl never wants to leave, but eventually she gives in. We thought we would use this room that was more neutral ground. As far as residents' territory beyond this room, I have no idea how we would get him back into his room afterwards if we were out more into the house beyond the doors. If seated on the floor, I can now pick him up and put him on my lap for maybe 10 seconds, sometimes a full minute. He sometimes runs from us if we go near him while standing. He still has many, many fears and will hide even from us. The good news is that I can now coax him back out of his hiding place with some love.

Right outside his room is the hallway with an easy jump through the balusters to the landing on the stairs. Across from his room is the bedroom that we connected to his. We had another encounter that I really want you to see (all good). The video is dark because of the poor lighting in there and I started to empty my youngest son's dresser on Monday so not the wide open floor like usual, but you can still see how they are acting around each other with the snack distraction. My husband usually has everything perfect and then the cats come in, but he decided to give them time together while he got the snack ready, so they ended up with the new guy in the middle. I hope to have the video today, but hubby is distracted by another home improvement project and is apparently living in Home Depot today. Each encounter has gone really well with no reactions from either cat when the new guy approaches. My resident guy is more likely to react (somewhat negatively) with the screen door in between where he feels safe.

Last night's snack time ended with both resident cats walking out (always have to bring snack dish out to get my girl), but then all three cats got involved in play time with a wand toy, but on opposite sides of the screen door.

New guy is more than ready to be out. He was jumping at the door latch early this morning. Once my husband goes in and plays with him, then I go in and give him tons of love and hang out with him, he is calm and ready to nap. There would not be any issue with getting him out, just getting him back in. The first time he was out, we got him back in at night with toys and food - for a couple days - then he caught on. But, I will do whatever I need to do to get them all to the next stage. I had my resident boy sleeping next to me on the sofa last night and my girl next to my feet on the ottoman, and there was room for my new guy on the other side of me, but I always think I may just be dreaming, but everyone has to have some kind of dream. :)

Thank you for being there, listening and advising. I hope to be someone who can give cat advice one day!!
"Thank you so very much for your reply. We did decide to try snack time in the other cat room this week. It is the room connected by the "pet door" between the closets. This room is mostly open for the resident cats, but we give our new guy a chance to explore it once in awhile." - You are welcome and PERFECT place to expand the territory and intro process.

"On that day, he did not have access until I got home from work and then he sniffed away at everything, especially their litter box. At night, he went in there for snack time and the residents came in to join him. The next night, we had the residents in there eating and then invited him in. Still had a calm encounter with residents leaving after finishing their snack. My girl never wants to leave, but eventually she gives in." - WOW THAT sounds PERFECT!!!!

"We thought we would use this room that was more neutral ground." - Perfect decision. WELL DONE!!!

"As far as residents' territory beyond this room, I have no idea how we would get him back into his room afterwards if we were out more into the house beyond the doors." - Ok, we'll just have to do it in the other room (the neutral room) for a little longer.

"If seated on the floor, I can now pick him up and put him on my lap for maybe 10 seconds, sometimes a full minute. He sometimes runs from us if we go near him while standing. He still has many, many fears and will hide even from us. The good news is that I can now coax him back out of his hiding place with some love." - Yeah, that is normal. I really like that you can coax him out of the hiding place with love!! GREAT job!!

"Right outside his room is the hallway with an easy jump through the balusters to the landing on the stairs. Across from his room is the bedroom that we connected to his." - We'll have to figure out how to expand his territory safely. It is a bit tricky. I jsut don;t know how territorial the residents will be.

"We had another encounter that I really want you to see (all good). The video is dark because of the poor lighting in there and I started to empty my youngest son's dresser on Monday so not the wide open floor like usual, but you can still see how they are acting around each other with the snack distraction. My husband usually has everything perfect and then the cats come in, but he decided to give them time together while he got the snack ready, so they ended up with the new guy in the middle. I hope to have the video today, but hubby is distracted by another home improvement project and is apparently living in Home Depot today. Each encounter has gone really well with no reactions from either cat when the new guy approaches. My resident guy is more likely to react (somewhat negatively) with the screen door in between where he feels safe." - Wow, that is pretty impressive. Look forward to seeing the video at some point. Yes, a barrier can lead to one feeling more confident in creating mischief. But the fact they are doing well with no barrier is terrific. Keep building their confidence with Play, Food, Height and Love and keep using scent swapping. The more confident and territorially secure they are the better they will get along.

"Last night's snack time ended with both resident cats walking out (always have to bring snack dish out to get my girl), but then all three cats got involved in play time with a wand toy, but on opposite sides of the screen door." - Fantastic!!!

"New guy is more than ready to be out. He was jumping at the door latch early this morning." - Yep, that is a good sign. I just wonder how the residents wil respond to him in "their" territory. Makes sure you get things with new boy's scent on it so that residents can smell/interact in their territory with new boy's scent.

"Once my husband goes in and plays with him, then I go in and give him tons of love and hang out with him, he is calm and ready to nap. There would not be any issue with getting him out, just getting him back in. The first time he was out, we got him back in at night with toys and food - for a couple days - then he caught on." - Yep. Really good job doing that with him.

"But, I will do whatever I need to do to get them all to the next stage. I had my resident boy sleeping next to me on the sofa last night and my girl next to my feet on the ottoman, and there was room for my new guy on the other side of me, but I always think I may just be dreaming, but everyone has to have some kind of dream." - You are very close. We will do the neutral room sessions and the scent swapping. Let's also do shorter food sessions and then use more distraction to see how they interact without the food distraction.They'll want to focus on each other but we'll see how easily they can be distracted.We will do this for some time and for how long we will see and then do the resident territory session and if new boy doesn't go back then we will figure it out. Dreams do come true................. ;)

"Thank you for being there, listening and advising. I hope to be someone who can give cat advice one day!!" - You are very welcome, You all have done the work. You both truly are amazing. Have done a great job!!! I think you will be able to give great advice.

You are doing great. I think you are really, really close. Let's see how they do with a shorter food session and a longer "hanging out" using distraction and reassurance ("it's ok, etc). And if they do that well we'll move to doing sessions in resident's territory and if new boy stays out we'll deal with that.

Keep up the great work!!!! Let ne know what questions you have.
 
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JerseyCatMom

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THANK YOU!!! Here is the video from last night. I made a YouTube channel for me and figured it out. My husband is working hard on our kitchen, so I can't keep bugging him. I will upload the other night, too. I put music on it so you don't hear our cat voices, lol.

I hope this works! You can see at the end where he starts to go back to his room through the closet.
 
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