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Hello, first time posting here.
sorry it’s so long im very detailed, feel free to skim.
I have a cat Mochi that is about two years old and is a Scottish Straight. She is extremely social and hates to be left alone and will meow and meow for attention. I would give her lots of play time, a solid thirty minutes a day if not more, but she always seemed like she still wasn’t satisfied.
I had introduced her to my sisters cats as a kitten and she immediately wanted to be friends with them. So I thought (probably mistakenly) that if I got a second cat to be her buddy, she would be happier.
There’s a lot that went into all of my decisions here but I had considered getting a second cat when she was still little but I have a roommate that wasn’t super happy about me getting Mochi to begin with so I didn’t. A few months ago she said she wouldn’t mind if I got a second cat, and like me, she thought maybe it would make Mochi stop crying for attention all the time.
so I gave it a few weeks before making any decisions but finally decided that yes, a second cat was a good idea. I initially planned on a kitten because I knew it was easier to make introductions with kittens. But then I kept thinking, you never know what a kittens adult personality is going to be like! It would be better if I got an adult cat that I know is good with other cats and likes people etc.
So I ended up adopting Bento. He’s the same age as Mochi, came home exactly two weeks ago. He was described as being very affectionate, loving everyone, people, cats, dogs alike, and very well adjusted. I was told he was great with other cats and had lived in houses with 10 other cats at once. He was also described as lazy and calm.
He immediately was sick with a respiratory infection when I got him home that I assume he contracted during transport from Texas. So as recommended, and especially because of the illness, I kept them separate for a full week from his vet visit, about three days after I got him. So around ten days total.
First couple days I kept bento in the bathroom and let Mochi get used to the smell of another cat etc. i also got one of the feliway multicat diffusers I keep in the living room. Mochi was scared the first couple days and stayed under my bed. I gave her treats periodically that she would eat and after a couple days of that came out and seemed back to her normal self.
after about three days I started having them sort of time share the main living space, since I didn’t want to keep Bento trapped in the bathroom full time. It seemed to work well, Mochi would sniff around and got used to his scent while he was in the bathroom, and then I would shut her in my bedroom and give him some time in the main space as well. It wasn’t long before Mochi was crying to be let out of my room anytime I shut her in.
Then a few days in a row I would get Bento out of the bathroom and just hold him within sight of Mochi who would never come very close but would always watch us intently.
After a full week after the vet visit, when bentos infection symptoms died down (he’s still on antibiotics) I went ahead and let them both into the main space together for short periods of time.
Things have been ok, no big disasters or anything, but Bento is really not behaving like I expected by the description of him being “great” with other cats. He certainly likes Mochi—a little too much. He constantly runs toward her and gets directly in her face, when she hisses and growls he doesn’t back off until I intervene. Because of this I’ve still been keeping them separate anytime I’m not home, but it doesn’t really seem to be improving. Despite me immediately intervening every time bento gets too close for comfort to Mochi, he keeps doing it. Mochi is still eating and doing her normal routine things so I don’t think she’s afraid of him, but I think she isn’t comfortable with him yet and IS very annoyed by his pushy behavior toward her. She’s generally very submissive and when he gets in her face will hiss, growl, ears back, and maybe raise a paw like she might strike, but she never actually does.
Instead of backing off when she does this Bento just raises a paw back at her (though no hissing or growling on his part, he seems to think it’s all fun and games) and continues to bother her. There have been no real fights, but this has happened a lot. If she eventually runs under a piece of furniture if I don’t get there fast enough, he still pursues her, and will even swat at her where she’s hiding like he wants her to come out.
When he chases her like this I usually just grab him and put him back in the bathroom for a bit, but instead of stopping the behavior he now just runs away from me when I try to pick him up.
Mochi does seem interested in Bento and doesn’t immediately run away from him if he walks up slowly, nor does she hiss or growl, but will quietly sniff his face, and they have even both slept on my bed at the same time with no issues. But Bento is just rather aggressive with his play considering they’ve only known each other for maybe a week.
Of course now I’ve been reading about introducing older cats and how much harder it can be than with kittens and realizing my reasoning was flawed in wanting an adult cat, and while attempting to avoid a situation where the cats don’t get along I have apparently walked directly into one.
Bento is a very sweet cat but I’m feeling like he probably does much better with kittens and isn’t nearly as lazy or calm as he was described. He gets the zoomies almost worse than Mochi and loves to play chase. And while he definitely likes Mochi, he doesn’t take any of her signals to back off.
Long story short: While attempting to give Mochi a playmate I feel like I’ve inadvertently made her life more stressful. I’m having a hard time not simply feeling regretful and like I’ve made a mistake. I know it’s only been two weeks and these transitions can take some Time but I’m having a lot of anxiety over it and mostly hoping for some advice or encouragement on how to best get them to get along. Maybe they won’t be best buddies like I’d hoped but I would happily settle for them coexisting peacefully without feeling like Mochi is being bullied (even if Bento is only trying to play)
here’s both of them on my bed together. Mochis head is just sticking out of her little cat tunnel on the left. Bento is on the right (he’s missing his left eye)
sorry it’s so long im very detailed, feel free to skim.
I have a cat Mochi that is about two years old and is a Scottish Straight. She is extremely social and hates to be left alone and will meow and meow for attention. I would give her lots of play time, a solid thirty minutes a day if not more, but she always seemed like she still wasn’t satisfied.
I had introduced her to my sisters cats as a kitten and she immediately wanted to be friends with them. So I thought (probably mistakenly) that if I got a second cat to be her buddy, she would be happier.
There’s a lot that went into all of my decisions here but I had considered getting a second cat when she was still little but I have a roommate that wasn’t super happy about me getting Mochi to begin with so I didn’t. A few months ago she said she wouldn’t mind if I got a second cat, and like me, she thought maybe it would make Mochi stop crying for attention all the time.
so I gave it a few weeks before making any decisions but finally decided that yes, a second cat was a good idea. I initially planned on a kitten because I knew it was easier to make introductions with kittens. But then I kept thinking, you never know what a kittens adult personality is going to be like! It would be better if I got an adult cat that I know is good with other cats and likes people etc.
So I ended up adopting Bento. He’s the same age as Mochi, came home exactly two weeks ago. He was described as being very affectionate, loving everyone, people, cats, dogs alike, and very well adjusted. I was told he was great with other cats and had lived in houses with 10 other cats at once. He was also described as lazy and calm.
He immediately was sick with a respiratory infection when I got him home that I assume he contracted during transport from Texas. So as recommended, and especially because of the illness, I kept them separate for a full week from his vet visit, about three days after I got him. So around ten days total.
First couple days I kept bento in the bathroom and let Mochi get used to the smell of another cat etc. i also got one of the feliway multicat diffusers I keep in the living room. Mochi was scared the first couple days and stayed under my bed. I gave her treats periodically that she would eat and after a couple days of that came out and seemed back to her normal self.
after about three days I started having them sort of time share the main living space, since I didn’t want to keep Bento trapped in the bathroom full time. It seemed to work well, Mochi would sniff around and got used to his scent while he was in the bathroom, and then I would shut her in my bedroom and give him some time in the main space as well. It wasn’t long before Mochi was crying to be let out of my room anytime I shut her in.
Then a few days in a row I would get Bento out of the bathroom and just hold him within sight of Mochi who would never come very close but would always watch us intently.
After a full week after the vet visit, when bentos infection symptoms died down (he’s still on antibiotics) I went ahead and let them both into the main space together for short periods of time.
Things have been ok, no big disasters or anything, but Bento is really not behaving like I expected by the description of him being “great” with other cats. He certainly likes Mochi—a little too much. He constantly runs toward her and gets directly in her face, when she hisses and growls he doesn’t back off until I intervene. Because of this I’ve still been keeping them separate anytime I’m not home, but it doesn’t really seem to be improving. Despite me immediately intervening every time bento gets too close for comfort to Mochi, he keeps doing it. Mochi is still eating and doing her normal routine things so I don’t think she’s afraid of him, but I think she isn’t comfortable with him yet and IS very annoyed by his pushy behavior toward her. She’s generally very submissive and when he gets in her face will hiss, growl, ears back, and maybe raise a paw like she might strike, but she never actually does.
Instead of backing off when she does this Bento just raises a paw back at her (though no hissing or growling on his part, he seems to think it’s all fun and games) and continues to bother her. There have been no real fights, but this has happened a lot. If she eventually runs under a piece of furniture if I don’t get there fast enough, he still pursues her, and will even swat at her where she’s hiding like he wants her to come out.
When he chases her like this I usually just grab him and put him back in the bathroom for a bit, but instead of stopping the behavior he now just runs away from me when I try to pick him up.
Mochi does seem interested in Bento and doesn’t immediately run away from him if he walks up slowly, nor does she hiss or growl, but will quietly sniff his face, and they have even both slept on my bed at the same time with no issues. But Bento is just rather aggressive with his play considering they’ve only known each other for maybe a week.
Of course now I’ve been reading about introducing older cats and how much harder it can be than with kittens and realizing my reasoning was flawed in wanting an adult cat, and while attempting to avoid a situation where the cats don’t get along I have apparently walked directly into one.
Bento is a very sweet cat but I’m feeling like he probably does much better with kittens and isn’t nearly as lazy or calm as he was described. He gets the zoomies almost worse than Mochi and loves to play chase. And while he definitely likes Mochi, he doesn’t take any of her signals to back off.
Long story short: While attempting to give Mochi a playmate I feel like I’ve inadvertently made her life more stressful. I’m having a hard time not simply feeling regretful and like I’ve made a mistake. I know it’s only been two weeks and these transitions can take some Time but I’m having a lot of anxiety over it and mostly hoping for some advice or encouragement on how to best get them to get along. Maybe they won’t be best buddies like I’d hoped but I would happily settle for them coexisting peacefully without feeling like Mochi is being bullied (even if Bento is only trying to play)
