Hi everyone, I’ve just joined after reading a number of “I regret adopting a cat” posts and advice, none of which quite covered what I am struggling with. Please be kind but honest because I am really struggling.
I live with significant anxiety which I have managed for a long time by controlling my apartment cleanliness. I live alone in a tiny studio but I keep it spotless most of the time and (I’ve realized) that really helps me feel in control when my anxiety spikes. Spotting one long hair from my own head causes me to take out the swiffer.
I’ve been contemplating and researching getting a cat for a while and finally took the plunge a little over a week ago. Everyone in my life, including my therapist, felt having a pet would greatly help my anxiety. The cat seemed “perfect”- she was described as sweet and affectionate but independent. She’s very, VERY cute; curious but well behaved, uses her litter box (and the 3 litters I’ve already tried in a week) with no problems.
Unfortunately, I have discovered in this past week that my anxiety not better, but worse because I can no longer control the cleanliness of my environment. After sweeping and mopping multiple times a day the first few days, I went out and bought an expensive vacuum. I vacuumed and mopped again but within an hour felt I couldn’t walk on the bare floors because the (again, very sweet) cat had played on it and also tracked some litter. Now I am vacuuming twice a day.
I’m constantly on edge about where she is sitting or napping so that I can lint roll it or clean it afterward. I’m feeling reluctant to play with her or brush her because I don’t want the fur to get onto my clothes. I’ve washed bedding and other blankets she’s been on twice in a week because she had a few fleas (gave her an OTC treatment and have a first vet appt this week) and my anxiety has me spiraling about getting an infestation.
I thought long and hard about this decision before I adopted and spoke about these concerns with loved ones in my life. Everyone agreed I’d love the cat and realize I didn’t mind the fur, litter, etc. I thought so too but after only a week my anxiety is higher than it has been in a long time because I have lost this coping mechanism of keeping my apartment just so- I didn’t realize the extent to which I was using this to manage my anxiety and feel a sense of control.
Lastly, a new anxiety has popped up which is that this poor cat is not/will not be happy with me. My apartment is small (200 sq feet studio), silent, without natural sunlight. I have windows but they look out onto a fence and a small backyard without much wildlife or other activity. And on top of that I am an owner who is struggling to manage my own anxiety and not really able to give her the genuine affection and attention I think she needs to be happy. To be clear, she is ok- plenty of food, water, she’s sleeping on my bed every night, I brush her daily, play with her in the evenings to help get the zoomies out. I just feel, on top of everything else that I’m struggling with in my own head, that she deserves better and can’t possibly be happy in this environment/with this type of human.
I’m not looking for “of course she’s happy! Give it time!” reassurances. Given that I do not anticipate resolving my anxiety issues or need for excessive cleanliness, AND that at the same time it has been less than two weeks, I would love to hear folks honest thoughts about if and when I should make a decision about taking her back to the rescue org where I got her.
Thank you.
I live with significant anxiety which I have managed for a long time by controlling my apartment cleanliness. I live alone in a tiny studio but I keep it spotless most of the time and (I’ve realized) that really helps me feel in control when my anxiety spikes. Spotting one long hair from my own head causes me to take out the swiffer.
I’ve been contemplating and researching getting a cat for a while and finally took the plunge a little over a week ago. Everyone in my life, including my therapist, felt having a pet would greatly help my anxiety. The cat seemed “perfect”- she was described as sweet and affectionate but independent. She’s very, VERY cute; curious but well behaved, uses her litter box (and the 3 litters I’ve already tried in a week) with no problems.
Unfortunately, I have discovered in this past week that my anxiety not better, but worse because I can no longer control the cleanliness of my environment. After sweeping and mopping multiple times a day the first few days, I went out and bought an expensive vacuum. I vacuumed and mopped again but within an hour felt I couldn’t walk on the bare floors because the (again, very sweet) cat had played on it and also tracked some litter. Now I am vacuuming twice a day.
I’m constantly on edge about where she is sitting or napping so that I can lint roll it or clean it afterward. I’m feeling reluctant to play with her or brush her because I don’t want the fur to get onto my clothes. I’ve washed bedding and other blankets she’s been on twice in a week because she had a few fleas (gave her an OTC treatment and have a first vet appt this week) and my anxiety has me spiraling about getting an infestation.
I thought long and hard about this decision before I adopted and spoke about these concerns with loved ones in my life. Everyone agreed I’d love the cat and realize I didn’t mind the fur, litter, etc. I thought so too but after only a week my anxiety is higher than it has been in a long time because I have lost this coping mechanism of keeping my apartment just so- I didn’t realize the extent to which I was using this to manage my anxiety and feel a sense of control.
Lastly, a new anxiety has popped up which is that this poor cat is not/will not be happy with me. My apartment is small (200 sq feet studio), silent, without natural sunlight. I have windows but they look out onto a fence and a small backyard without much wildlife or other activity. And on top of that I am an owner who is struggling to manage my own anxiety and not really able to give her the genuine affection and attention I think she needs to be happy. To be clear, she is ok- plenty of food, water, she’s sleeping on my bed every night, I brush her daily, play with her in the evenings to help get the zoomies out. I just feel, on top of everything else that I’m struggling with in my own head, that she deserves better and can’t possibly be happy in this environment/with this type of human.
I’m not looking for “of course she’s happy! Give it time!” reassurances. Given that I do not anticipate resolving my anxiety issues or need for excessive cleanliness, AND that at the same time it has been less than two weeks, I would love to hear folks honest thoughts about if and when I should make a decision about taking her back to the rescue org where I got her.
Thank you.