New cat introduction... Weird

[chigusa]

I'd love to hear about them and I'm glad you were able to find a professional in your area to help. Having some support can make a huge difference.

The behaviorist told me choose a ringtone, or a sound in general, to play before opening the door to the boys, and another for when I end a "meeting". This way she knows when they are around and how long.

She also advised me to let them meet after they all have eaten and after the boys have played with a matatabi toy. This way they get any extra energy out of their system and when they meet her they are calm.

Also, I'm using a lavender pillow, that I keep around Anís to help her stay relaxed, and I spray some pet remedy near when they usually meet. If things heat up, I place a cloth that smells of chamomile between them. Smelling that strong smell they usually back off. I can hiss to, to signal them wrong actions.

Additionally, on Monday I'll do some "catification" and install some shelves for them to jump and climb, especially near doors and passages to help them avoid bouncing into each other should they feel the need for some distance.

Tomorrow I will update her and tell her how it is going.

 

[Alldara]

Wonderful! Thank you for sharing those with me, and I'm so glad things are progressing for you.

 

[chigusa]

You're welcome!

Catification ongoing here
Some shelves are for the youngers, the low ones are meant to help her free more secure when entering a room and avoid a "face to face" confrontation if she wishes to.

 

[chigusa]

Hi everyone, I believe it is going smoothly and there is more progress. Joy and Anís have taken to sleep/relax together in the bathroom, closer than days ago but not that close to stress her.
Usually when he comes in to lay down beside her she still hisses/growls. He remains there, unfazed, and very soon she relaxed too. She does hiss again if he moves, I think she reminds him to keep his distance. Which he does. He does not try to get too close anymore. It looks like he learned where her boundaries lay and respects her.
Now he can leave the room walking very close to her and she just "warns" him without even raising a paw.
Of course for now it would be too much, but maybe soon they could be trusted to stay in the same area without supervision.

The problem now is Silverio.
He never attempted to interact much, so he had no chance to find a balance with Anís. Yesterday he got too close to her I suppose, she yelled at him and he quickly left the room. It seems to me that the interaction distressed her because afterwards she was a bit on edge with Joy too.

Any advice in helping Silverio establish some harmony with Anís?

 

[rubysmama]

Any advice in helping Silverio establish some harmony with Anís?

Maybe yummy treats they both like, when they're near each other?

 

[chigusa]

Maybe yummy treats they both like, when they're near each other?

This does help. I do it daily, even more because Anís is old and won't play much if not at all.
Maybe the problem is just that as I said Silverio mostly ignored her up until recently.

Now though his brother is spending time with her and maybe he feels kinda left out? I'm not sure if I'm humanizing them too much.

The behaviorist told me to use a sniffing mat and some olfactory toys to let them interact and in the meantime keep them serene and relaxed.

I hope it works and I hope it will work out soon. I have a flight to Brazil at the end of August, I leave with a friend and even if I wanted to remain home I could not, my friend would not leave alone.
I know that time is the key here. I genuinely thought that the process would be quicker and by August it would have been completely safe to leave them alone.
Obviously if needed I will tell the sitter to keep them separated but this would mean two weeks without interaction thus no progress. Not ideal.

I am hopeful, they accomplished much in a very short time. I am just afraid another months and half won't be enough.

 

[chigusa]

Well Anís allowed Joy to smell her leg, actually twice. She reacted with only a soft growl and moved the leg back.

How much progress is this?

 

[rubysmama]

Sounds like a baby step forward.

 

[chigusa]

Hi, here's an update.

Perhaps I'm a bit discouraged today, or simply tired and in need of a vacation, but today I'm kinda questioning whether I made a mistake adopting Anìs.

Yes, there has been progress.
Yes, she now asks herself to enter the living room fully knowing the boys are here, she eats from their bowl (and they from hers), once she even allowed Joy to nose to nose her without complaint. She sleeps not far from them. She "greets" them with short meows when she comes in, most of them time.

Thing is, yes, she is improving, but she still hisses and growls, although not nearly as much as before, if the boys gets close or if they pass close enough to her just minding their business.
Some days, like today, she meows loudly and raises her paw as Joy simply wishes to go from one room to another and she is close to the entrance. A few days ago she laid on the floor blocking them from accessing the water.

Is this really the best I can obtain? Am I to live in a house where I hear loud meows or worse every time the boys are, in her opinion, too close to her? What happens when one cat needs to use the litter at the same time as her?

I am feeling a bit discouraged, I'll be honest. I followed the behaviorist instructions, I made us of every advice I received. And again, Anìs seems to be regressing from the very recent good developments. I am at a loss. I cannot live with my house split in two for a year. It might be selfish but I want my cats to move freely with, yes, the occasional tussle maybe but not with the constant anxiety that one cat might paw one time too much to Anìs' tail and she might react badly.

Is that so bad that I want some peace in my house?

Sorry for my rant. I'm just... at a loss and a bit hopeless and right now I am really wondering if she would not fare much better as a single cat.

 

[rubysmama]

I haven't ever had more than 1 cat at a time, so I can't offer anything other than the usual cat introduction steps. But maybe something in this TCS article will be helpful. The Multi-Cat Household [An Owner's Manual for Healthy, Happy Cats] - TheCatSite

Also here's a link with all the threads with "multi cat" in the title. Maybe one of them will give you some suggestions to try, or at least some encouragement.
Search Results for Query: multi cat

 

[Kris107]

Regarding your last post - you need to have resources - food, water, litter - in multiple areas of the home so they don't have to fight over them. They should never feel like they have to defend a resource or claim it as their territory. Cats coexist best when they feel like resources are safe and plentiful.

 

[Alldara]

The goal will never be to have them use the same things at the same time. Multiple cats need multiple resources. Encorporating them into your home is helpful at making it feel more balanced.

But, your home won't be split in two forever. She's made progress and she will continue to make progress. A glace at Ghost's thread will even show you that even when we think they are "done" settling, we can make progress.

It would be a shame for you all to have put in so much effort and made so much progress just to throw it away. Feeling discouraged and guilty like you made a mistake sometimes is normal.

Are you brushing them with the same brush daily? Using the dry wash cloth trick still?

 

[chigusa]

Regarding your last post - you need to have resources - food, water, litter - in multiple areas of the home so they don't have to fight over them. They should never feel like they have to defend a resource or claim it as their territory. Cats coexist best when they feel like resources are safe and plentiful.

Sorry, I explained badly. To do not use the same bowl at the same time and they each have their water and dry food bowl. I meant that she occasionally eats their kibbles and viceversa. I put them in different places of the house. It does not seem to me they are competing...?
Litters are in different places too.

Are you brushing them with the same brush daily? Using the dry wash cloth trick still?

Uhm... Nope. Is this about the smell you think? She knows them by now and even yesterday she asked to enter the living room.

 

[Kris107]

Sorry, I explained badly. To do not use the same bowl at the same time and they each have their water and dry food bowl. I meant that she occasionally eats their kibbles and viceversa. I put them in different places of the house. It does not seem to me they are competing...?
Litters are in different places too.

Oh good! Just wanted to make sure everything is ample and spread out. When she was blocking the water, did you get her to move away? Boundaries can also be set by you. Just because she's the newcomer adjusting, you can still say that behavior like that isn't allowed. Your boys, as you've mentioned, should get to go where they want without being harassed for no big reasons.

 

[chigusa]

That time I moved the water bowl, not her.
However it is not a problem to have her move when I need to.
She also lets me pick her up.

I believe she has "good" days, where she tolerates more shenanigans, and "bad" days, where she has little patience. Today she allowed Silverio to smell her head although briefly, and Joy to smell her tail, but she did growl when he touched the tail with his paw.

I am not sure if she comes to the living room to stay with me or because she also appreciates her brothers' company, despite still trying to establish her boundaries.

I still feel I can not rely on her moods and leave them alone for much time or at all.

 

[Alldara]

Sorry, I explained badly. To do not use the same bowl at the same time and they each have their water and dry food bowl. I meant that she occasionally eats their kibbles and viceversa. I put them in different places of the house. It does not seem to me they are competing...?
Litters are in different places too.



Uhm... Nope. Is this about the smell you think? She knows them by now and even yesterday she asked to enter the living room.

Then I don't think you'll have to worry about if someone needs to do something at the same time. They learn there's different potty areas etc.

Yes. Being used to smell of something isn't really the same as building they'll family smell. Knowing a smell is the first step so that's great.
Brushing with the same brush and using a dry cloth to pet each cat and wipe it around the baseboards builds this sense of shared territory and helps them to smell like one another.

 

[chigusa]

Well, I do have two litters... Not three. It would be difficult for me to place another unless I put it in the kitchen. But bowls are plenty.

I will try the brush trick, thanks!
Today she explored the bedroom, on a good note.

 

[chigusa]

Hello!
It seems to me it's getting better.

A few days ago Anís allowed Silverio to smell her while she was drinking. She did complain after a bit but he let him for several seconds. She did draw the line at him smelling her butt though during mealtime. Again no swatting but she made clear how that was not allowed! Well I can't fault her there

Also, she walked alongside Joy to leave the bedroom without any noise.
Joy the troublemaker though decided to play with her tail while they were both laying in the Bathroom... She complained but without growling or hissing. She did not move either nor she looked at him until the third or fourth time he pawed at her tail. It was kinda fun though.

She now eats very very close to them with the gate up.

 

[chigusa]

I forgot, she almost stopped hissing and growling.
When she's unhappy with something or they get too close She meows loudly but usually that Is all. Even her stance is more relaxed. She looks more annoyed than angry now, but most of the time She shares the house with them without issues.

 

[rubysmama]

That all sounds really good, and that everyone is adjusting to living with each other.