New Cat In The House

[Arthame]

Hello everyone,

I've got a bit of an issue I need advice with. 9 weeks ago I got a 7 week old kitten from some farmers who wanted to get rid of it. He is very friendly and nice but with time became rather aggressive towards us. It's only play aggression, where he would try to wrestle our arms and feet, but he bites very hard. We tried to unteach him this but without success.
Our vet suggested that he might be bored because we are at work during the day and that a cat buddy for him to play with would be great. Fast forward to two days ago when we saw an announcement for a kitten who was the same age as him. We contacted the owner and ended up adopting the kitten. But somehow the new one is twice as big.
Introducing them to each other went pretty well. The big one seemed very tolerant and rather scared, while the little one hissed and growled for a while and then calm down. Later in the day they started playing. It all seemed like fun. The little one was chasing after the big one and vice versa. But then the big one wanted to wrestle. And that's where the drama started. As far as I can tell from his body language he only wants to play. As far as I can tell from the body language of the little one however, he doesn't like it one bit and takes it as a threat. Hisses and growls and gets very worked up. Of course him being half the size and stuff he gets his ass kicked pretty badly. At first he would chase after the other one and try the wrestle him again. But soon he started running away and hissing and growling every time the other one wants to play.
Otherwise they seem to interact well. They even share a toilet and a food bowl and there is no aggression in that case (I have additional ones should they not want to share). They walk around together and sleep next to each other. But as soon as the big one wants to play, there is drama.
How can I make it better and make the little one understand it is all in good spirits and not intended to hurt him? I guess he did not like losing his position as boss of the house and being wrestled around like a rag doll.

 

[ArtNJ]

This is a situation which does happen from time to time, especially when there is a size difference. The little one is telling you that he isn't being hurt and is fine with the bigger kitten by not holding the play against the big one after the play is done. Its more like, with the size difference, the play is akin to getting a purple nurple from big brother. Not fun. Anyway, there is really nothing you can or should do as long as the little one remains generally fine with the big one. You can certainly do some stuff around the edges like playing with them more, but you can't drain a kitten's energy through play -- its like trying to drain the ocean with a bucket. You can do some distraction and separation, but its just not going to change anything in the long run and is unnecessary as long as the little one remains happy and well disposed to the bigger one when play isn't going on.

Going forward, hopefully the littler one will catch up or the big one will mellow out. Good chance things will improve, but its a biological dice roll, so you'll just have to wait and see. If you get unlucky, things could get worse, but probably not till they are mostly grown.

 

[ArtNJ]

Oh and the biting! Yeah, sorry, your vet was very wrong on this. The way to stop biting is through training, not by getting another kitten and hoping your kitten is too busy to remember his game. Your kitten *might* bite you less, or it might not. Its just not the right way to address the issue -- its like the classic children's book The King, the Mice and the Cheese -- even if it works, it might create more problems. Two kittens may not have double the misc. behavior issues like biting, climbing the drapes, knocking stuff over, eating non-food items, but they certainly have more of these issues then one kitten and come with some new issues like 4 am play sessions!

Try a loud enough to be startling "No!" coupled with detaching and ignoring the cat. Might take a few weeks to work.

 

[Arthame]

Thanks a lot for the replies. A couple of minutes ago they were both sitting at the window watching the neighbourhood.
Today was quieter than yesterday. They seem to get better at knowing each other's boundaries. But with cats you never know. You might think all is well and tomorrow they might try to murder each other haha
I hope things will be ok between them. And since both of them are getting neutered, that it won't escalate into actual fights.
As for the biting, before I can train the cat not to bite, I'll have to train my boyfriend first. Because I would try to correct the behaviour and then my boyfriend would come by and be like aww look how cute he's wrestling my arm! Well it's not that cute when I try to explain to my coworkers that I don't self harm and it's just the cat haha

 

[ArtNJ]

Oh yeah, playing with the kitten with hands or while biting is a no-no. Well, your BF will stop eventually. It may be cute but sooner or later he'll get some meaningful scratches and revisit lol.