New Cat Help

Bluuuii

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So, I have gotten a new cat that I am trying to introduce to my old one. They are both 1 year old, the old is a male (Jussi) and the new a female (Iris). I have tried to introduce them pretty slowly, doing room swappings and the likes. When i have let them in the same room however she hisses at him, and he chases her but does not seem aggressive. He actually chirrups at her the same way he does to me. His ears are forward and no hissing, just chirrups. He even rolled over on his back and slow blinks at her. She really does not seem to like him though. What do I do and how should I interpret this behaviour?
 

ArtNJ

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Both are spayed/neutered right? If so:

You watch, but let them be, this will be fine. He is ready to play and she is not. She may hiss, swat and run away, all of which is totally fine and they can work through on their own. Start with supervised time together only so you can make sure they won't fight. If they are going to actually have a real fight, thats another matter, but it doesn't sound likely based on what your describing.

There is never a guaranty, but with two one year olds the odds are in your favor -- decent chance they may get all the way to friendship.
 

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You may have already done this, but have you also tried putting one cat in a carrier for a time while letting the other roam free? I have two one year old cats and have recently been babysitting older cats (one pair M&F ages 2 and 3 and then after them, another male aged 4) and I put my own cats in a carrier when we got to a certain stage in the introduction. The other, older cats were definitely more hostile, so I felt that putting my own cats in the carrier was the better option - I didn't want the older cats to feel like they had nowhere to run. In your case, it sounds like you could put your boy in the carrier, since he's more comfortable and also more eager to run up to her. That way she can approach the carrier at her own pace and run away if needed. In my case, I would leave them in the carriers, sometimes for an hour at a time, several times throughout the day. Another thing I would do, prior to the carriers, is to hold one cat in my arms and walk into the other room and let them observe the other cats. And also prior to the carriers, I would sometimes crack the door of whatever room, just enough for them to sniff each other (not enough to get a paw through) and then shut it as soon as I heard the first sound of hissing or growling (preferably before). Once we got past that, I have a sliding door (not see-through) that I was able to crack open and block so they couldn't open it any more than what I had it. In this instance, I did leave enough for a front paw to reach through. The cats were able to sit at the door and observe each other playing in the other room. Other recommendations are to put a baby gate in the doorway between the two cats, if you have one.

Essentially, you want anything that allows them to see and smell each other, but lets them feel protected. Once you've got some sort of set-up like this, you can also feed them close to each other, where they can see/smell each other but not access the other's food. And be sure to praise them a lot when they're acting nice, giving them treats, petting, talking sweet, etc. You could even play with her while he's close by in a carrier or behind a baby gate/cracked door. All of these things will help her to associate him with good things (treats, play, food, praise, etc.)

From what you're describing, it does sound like he's ready to play, but if she's hissing then she's still feeling uncomfortable or threatened. So I'd take it back a step to one of the things above and just take it slowly. I know it's frustrating to have to keep them separate, but you're trying to build a lifelong relationship. I've heard that if cats get off on the wrong foot, that can affect their relationship for the rest of their lives. Thankfully, I've not had any trouble with that so far, as far as the cats I actually have owned. As ArtNJ said, their young age is in your favor, as young cats are generally more accepting of others than older cats are, but I would still just take it as slow as needed in order to build a good relationship.

With these cats I was babysitting, I was just going for getting everyone in the same room as fast as possible without killing each other, and it still took a week and a half for the male and female pair! Had I been working toward the goal of a long-term relationship, I would have taken it much slower, in their cases I'm guessing it would have taken at least 3 weeks! They didn't get into any horrible fights, but the older two would randomly hiss at mine the whole time they were here and my girl cat just acted traumatized by the whole experience. But then the 4 year old male cat I am currently babysitting is just an angel - it only took a day and a half to get all three cats together in the same room with no hissing! So a lot just depends on the cats personality - but for cats that I actually owned, I would definitely prefer to drag out the introduction phase in order to ensure a good life-long relationship - because after weeks of those older cats hissing and swatting at my cats, I was definitely happy to send them back home!
 
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Bluuuii

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I just had them together in a room for about an hour. They both ate some nice wet food together (but with distance between them) and I actually managed to play with both of them a little. After that though Iris went in a box and started hissing and growling, Jussi went up to the box but backed down when she hissed. They did swat a little at each other, but Jussi still did the occasional chirrups so I dont think his intention was to fight.

Prior to all this i have tied up the door to her "safe room" so its open a little bit, just enough to look through and fit a front paw. They have had a few staring contests through there. Fed them on each side of the door as well. I also had Iris in the carrier and they sniffed each other, though she started hissing. Jussi just flopped over on his back and chirruped completely unfazed. I am unsure if he even understands her when she growls. He doesnt seem fazed even in the slightest, only when she hisses.

Yesterday though they had a pretty good moment when Iris was sleeping on the window sill and Jussi slept on the bed beside me. It was actually so calm that i fell asleep as well and nothing bad happened.
 
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Bluuuii

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Oh, and Jussi is neutered but she isnt spayed yet.
 

duncanmac

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Both are spayed/neutered right? If so:

You watch, but let them be, this will be fine. He is ready to play and she is not. She may hiss, swat and run away, all of which is totally fine and they can work through on their own. Start with supervised time together only so you can make sure they won't fight. If they are going to actually have a real fight, thats another matter, but it doesn't sound likely based on what your describing.

There is never a guaranty, but with two one year olds the odds are in your favor -- decent chance they may get all the way to friendship.
This is pretty much it - at some point in the introductions it boils down to letting them work it out. A little swatting, a little hissing, some chasing and some wrestling. Keep an eye on them and make sure it doesn't escalate too badly and keep them separated when you can't watch them.
 

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You should probably get Iris spayed as soon as you can. She'll be going into/having another heat soon, and that could affect their interactions.
 
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Bluuuii

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This is pretty much it - at some point in the introductions it boils down to letting them work it out. A little swatting, a little hissing, some chasing and some wrestling. Keep an eye on them and make sure it doesn't escalate too badly and keep them separated when you can't watch them.
I just let them together again and they sniffed and she didnt hiss and it seemed fine. Then he started his normal weird routine of chasing her and chirruping and they were swatting a lot, but it didnt seem too rough. Then they both went under the bed however and i think they almost kinda wrestled and it sounded a bit rougher. I dont understand if Jussi is trying to play or fight her and is this kinda reaction normal?
 

duncanmac

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How did it end? and did the "losing" cat re-engage in the play fighting? It's tough to say what is normal but what you described didn't sound bad (although I would be nervous about them being under the bed because one of them might feel trapped and overreact.)

You have to get a feel for the new cat, and once you sense that she's had enough of being chased and starting to get a little stressed, just split them up for the night or a couple of hours.
 
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Bluuuii

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How did it end? and did the "losing" cat re-engage in the play fighting? It's tough to say what is normal but what you described didn't sound bad (although I would be nervous about them being under the bed because one of them might feel trapped and overreact.)

You have to get a feel for the new cat, and once you sense that she's had enough of being chased and starting to get a little stressed, just split them up for the night or a couple of hours.
Well no one really won cause i broke them up and had them separated for an hour. Jussi had some of her fur in his mouth. Jussi normally backs down when she hisses at him, or it just ends in a few swatts which isnt too bad. Its just that i cant tell what his intentions are. He keeps trying her limits and goes closer and closer to her, he is relentless in his attempts to approach her. As i said, he is making greeting sounds from time to time so it cant be aggressive? But he has this face like he wants to pounce on her as well sometimes.

Btw, they laid under the bed together for about an hour just now, no hissing or anything

20180726_181735.jpg
 
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Bluuuii

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Oh and despite his greeting sounds he actually approaches her to swat at her sometimes. How do i make him stop chasing her?
 

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Oh and despite his greeting sounds he actually approaches her to swat at her sometimes. How do i make him stop chasing her?
Chasing is one of their most funnest games - you don't stop it, you just try to distract the Jussi so that he isn't constantly chasing her and eventually call a time out and split them up. Eventually Iris will start chasing Jussi. It takes time.

Play with them both, especially Iris. That will help build her confidence and also help tire out Jussi.

The fact that they are both chilling out under the bed is a good sign. It might take a couple of months more of them settling in together, but it looks like you are on your way.
 

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Its not "play" or "fight" its "play fighting" and cats do a ton of it. Its predator practice basically -- all predators do it. That is definitely what is going on from the description. Its very common for one cat to be not interested or skittish about it and the other cat to be obnoxiously enthused. You should still generally monitor it, as Iris could get really stressed, or it could morph into something else. But it doesn't seem like a concern at this point. Let them work it out.
 

rubysmama

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Awww... they look adorable there in that picture. :catlove:
I'm curious, though. How long before that screw got batted across the floor? ;)
 
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Bluuuii

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Awww... they look adorable there in that picture. :catlove:
I'm curious, though. How long before that screw got batted across the floor? ;)
The screw only lasted about a minute or so.. and to no ones surprise it was a cat who batted it in under the bed in the first place
 

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Yes to everything A ArtNJ said. LET THEM WORK IT OUT. Stop separating them. They are fine.

"After that though Iris went in a box and started hissing and growling, Jussi went up to the box but backed down when she hissed."

Right there. That shows that they are properly communicating. One tries to play, the other says stop, the first one listens. This is how it should be.

Growling, hissing, play fighting are all normal and you need to let it all just happen, stop intervening, stay calm and they will work it all out.
 
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Bluuuii

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Yes to everything A ArtNJ said. LET THEM WORK IT OUT. Stop separating them. They are fine.

"After that though Iris went in a box and started hissing and growling, Jussi went up to the box but backed down when she hissed."

Right there. That shows that they are properly communicating. One tries to play, the other says stop, the first one listens. This is how it should be.

Growling, hissing, play fighting are all normal and you need to let it all just happen, stop intervening, stay calm and they will work it all out.
Dont yell..
This is the first time introducing two cats so please try to understand it is actually quite stressful for me.. I have really been trying my best to follow all advice i have found on the Internet, been researching it for about a month actually but it is still just as stressful. I have never seen cats playfighting in front of me or seen a real fight in real life so it is really hard for me to tell the difference.
I have been letting them together as ArtNJ said, but i can see her getting stressed out sometimes so i have to separate them for a bit.
 

jen

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They feed off of your stress. That is why I said to stay calm. What your cats are doing are playing so if they were going to REALLY fight they would have by now. You have nothing to worry about. You are doing EVERYTHING RIGHT :)
 

ArtNJ

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Your definitely doing fine! I think its fine to give a cat that is getting harassed by an obnoxiously enthusiastic playmate a break once in a while for some alone petting. However, just keep in mind that the break tends to make the other cat even more eager to play so moderation is good. In general, do let them have a lot of time together despite what is going on and a little hissing. My cat Rocky still hisses at Clyde 3 years after meeting him when he tries to play with her, but she generally tolerates him and once in a while she even plays with him voluntarily. Sometimes buddies never happens, but that is ok.
 
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Bluuuii

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They feed off of your stress. That is why I said to stay calm. What your cats are doing are playing so if they were going to REALLY fight they would have by now. You have nothing to worry about. You are doing EVERYTHING RIGHT :)
Your definitely doing fine! I think its fine to give a cat that is getting harassed by an obnoxiously enthusiastic playmate a break once in a while for some alone petting. However, just keep in mind that the break tends to make the other cat even more eager to play so moderation is good. In general, do let them have a lot of time together despite what is going on and a little hissing. My cat Rocky still hisses at Clyde 3 years after meeting him when he tries to play with her, but she generally tolerates him and once in a while she even plays with him voluntarily. Sometimes buddies never happens, but that is ok.
Sorry about sounding snappy, i was just stressed out yesterday. Either way i had them together during the night and it went super Well. Hissing at first but then they both chilled the whole night, came out together in the morning for breakfast.
Just now however they had a fight. Jussi bit a chunk of fur out of her behind and they wrestled aggressively while she made noises i have only heard cats make in movies.. I have tried playing with both of them and Jussi is just not as interested in the toy as he is in her. I have not had this problem before. He has a bucket load of energy and i cant drain it
 
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