New Cat Bullying Resident Cat

misslyss

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Hi Everyone!

This is my first post here. Hoping for some advice, thanks in advance!

My husband and adopted a kitten 4 years ago her name is Bella. We always wanted two cats, but were unsure about it in a 2 bedroom apartment. 1 month ago we adopted Delilah, a 5 year old neutered female (Bella is also neutered).

We kept them separated for about 10 days. Swapped smells, fed them on either side of the door etc. Then we allowed supervised visits/open doors whenever we were awake / home for about a week. At first Delilah wouldn't leave her room. Bella would try to poke her head in the room, but Delilah would hiss and growl until Bella left. We encouraged Delilah to come out with toys and eventually things were going well, they would touch noses and would sometimes be found sitting quietly in a room together. However, Delilah would tend to hiss and grow anytime Bella got up to move. Delilah would also guard "her" room by sitting in the door way and growling every time Bella walked by. Bella never hissed or growled once, she did however try a few times to play with Delilah by pouncing (definitely a playful pounce). Things started to calm down, no more hissing or growling. I thought things were going well but I'm noticing something...

Delilah has now decided to follow Bella around everywhere and sometimes charges at her. No more growling or hissing but she wont really let Bella lay down in any of her old favorite spots (Delilah steals them) except a linen closet that we help Bella up into. She also pushes her way in between Bella's playtime. She even stands outside the litter box when shes in there. I can tell Bella is a bit stressed, and she rarely cuddles with us anymore. Even Delilah isn't the loud purr cuddle box she was when we first met her at her previous foster home. Both cats just seem on guard all the time making sure they know where the other is.

Do you think things will calm down? I do have an option for re-homing Delilah if I must.

Other things to note: I purchased a feline calming spray, also considering the pheromone diffuser. And Delilah is 18lbs, so we have her on a diet, this could be part of her frustration.
 
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misslyss

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Oh and I do have two litter boxes in separate rooms
 

cheeseburger

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Hi there! We are about eight weeks into our introduction and around four weeks we had the same issues except flipped. Our resident cat went through the creepy staring, stalking and charging phase when we started letting them just be together in the house.

This lasted about a week and a half. It ran its course. We gave our resident cat extra affection and gave the new cat on the receiving end of the charges extra playtime to build confidence. Eventually the new cat started launching her own charges and a couple of days later everything settled down into cheerful co-existence. Now at eight weeks they are complete buds, groom each other, and call for each other to play.

I would let it run its course unless the violence gets more aggressive (teeth and claws) or Bella starts to hide all the time. This is a necessary step in the process where they need to figure out each other's position in the cat pecking order. It's a little stressful for both of them but it's unlikely to be the permanent state of affairs.
 

di and bob

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I, too thgink they are figuring each other out. For being only a month, i think things are going very well. Bella will eventually stand up for herself, it is still in the scary, who's that cat stage. Delilah is scared too, and trying to establish if this is really a permanent move and where she fits in. As long as there is no blood drawn, I would let them sort it out. You might give Bella a break once in a while and either cage Delilah or put her in another room for a while. Don't let her bully Bella, say no loudly and put them apart, or try the treat method and give them both a treat when you notice them getting too intent on each other. It brings about positive vibes and gets their minds off each other. This all takes time. A month even two is not long enough to establish how they will be together. Right now it is perfectly normal for them both to be VERY aware of where the other is, and to try to keep them in sight. It WILL happen it just takes time.....
 
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misslyss

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Thank you both! You've calmed my anxiety on this and gave me a couple tips. Very much appreciated
I do hope the learn to be furrfriends !
 

KittyCatCove

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I am going through the same situation right now. The bickering may calm down after a period of months, or it may never calm down... even when a lengthy introduction period is adhered to. I've noticed and heard from other cat owners that female cats tend to be less accepting of each other than males. After males are neutered, most turn into snuggle bugs.

Blackie (6yo) my resident female does not get along with Patches (3yo) female. I gave them a long 3 month introductory period, but it did not work. Now my Blackie stays upstairs most of the time to avoid Patches. Patches is always the aggressor and charges Blackie. Blackie always runs away... I believe this is the main reason why Patches keeps doing this. I squirt Patches with water to stop her... I really hate to do that, but I have no choice. I've broken up confrontations at 3am many times. I refuse to isolate either one of them. When cats act on their basic instincts, it's almost impossible to change their behavior.
 

garygruber

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I don't want to put too fine a point on this but it is next to impossible to bring a new cat into a situation with an existing cat if either are over 6-8 weeks of age. Once a cat establishes its territory, it will not permit another cat to live amicably in that area.

I wish you the best of luck, but I wouldn't hold my breath. The best way to bring multiple cats into the same environment is to select two or more kittens from the same litter.
 
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misslyss

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Success everyone ! Almost.. very minimal if bullying, there was one hiss yesterday because one startled the other. And today I found them both sleeping on the same bed ! Hopefully they cuddle together, but I'm happy with this level of friendship !
 

cheeseburger

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I don't want to put too fine a point on this but it is next to impossible to bring a new cat into a situation with an existing cat if either are over 6-8 weeks of age. Once a cat establishes its territory, it will not permit another cat to live amicably in that area.

I wish you the best of luck, but I wouldn't hold my breath. The best way to bring multiple cats into the same environment is to select two or more kittens from the same litter.
G garygruber , that's just not true. If you've found it impossible to introduce adult cats, you're probably not doing proper introduction technique. It's true that adopting a bonded pair is a lot less work, but most adult cats will eventually accept another adult.

M misslyss Congrats! I'm so glad things have calmed down! We had our first mutual grooming session at three months. Hopefully your guys will get there too!
 
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