New 3rd kitty


TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
May 24, 2014
Adult daughters friend died at 32 from Leukemia. His 3 year old kitty was a litter mate to one of her two and she took her home only to learn she does not seem to like either of daughters two and actually attacks them so she's keeping her in separate room while looking for new home. Anyone have a suggestion to maybe find a way to have them get along ??


TCS Member
Adult Cat
Oct 20, 2023
Scotland, UK
Firstly, I am sorry for the loss of your daughter's friend. Cancer is an awful thing.

Onto the kitty. Am I right in saying that you want her to stay with your daughter if possible, and are looking for ways to make it work out between the rehomed cat and the existing ones?

Was the new cat put with the existing ones straight away? If so, that would explain the behaviour. None of the cats are used to each other. They'll need a slow, gradual introduction. Does your daughter have a spare room she could keep the new cat isolated in, with her own food, water, litterbox, sleeping place, and toys? This will allow her to acclimatise to her new home before she has to deal with two new cats as well.

What do you mean by 'attacking'? Were there claws out and fur flying, or was it just a few swats? Or just chasing and hissing? In my opinion, as long as you can separate the cats and reintegrate them gradually, there's a good chance they will eventually get used to each other, although it will be trickier and take a bit longer if the initial fighting was more serious.

Here are a couple of useful articles on introducing a new cat to an existing cat or cats:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats [The Ultimate Guide]
Introducing Cats To Cats: The Expert’s Guide To A Smooth Transition

Hope this helps!


Rules my home with an iron paw
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Oct 16, 2015
North Carolina
Yes, those articles are great! And she's made a good start by separating them for now. Even littermates do not recognize each other after significant time apart, and should be reintroduced as total strangers.

Remind your daughter that this cat has had her entire world turned upside down. She has lost "her" person that she adored, and does not know why. She has lost the home she loved, her safe place, her territory, and does not know why. EVERYTHING feels threatening to her right now. It's no wonder that she, in her confusion and grief (yes, cats grieve), is lashing out.