Never rubs and will bite

[gapeach]

Zoey will swish her tail and bite me. I guess this means she doesn't want to be petted? But sometimes even while I'm petting her and she's purring she will bite. Also she never rubs on us, on very few occasions she had bumped my hand with her head (maybe twice) We have had her since 2 weeks and hand raised her from then. Now she is almost 13 weeks. She was jumping up on the bed/couch wanting to sleep next to me or on me...but ever since we took her to her first vet visit this week she spends a lot of time under the bed, I have to go get her and bring her out. How can I fix this and prevent it from happening in 3 weeks when we go back to the vet?

 

[mservant]

Was she biting you when you petted her before the vet visit or is this new like the hiding under the bed?

It sounds like she is stressed and in need of rebuilding some confidence since her visit to the vet which is not unusual.  Although it may seem very frustrating, the best way to rebuild her trust and get back to that point where she wants to come and lay next to you is to give her her own space and time to come out from under that bed.  Maybe put down food bowls for her close to that area and sit in the room while she eats, not necessarily giving her direct attention but reading or doing something - it could even be fiddling with a toy she might like such as a feather wand or making paper planes and rolling up paper balls.  You can read a book, and even read out loud as a lot of cats find this quite soothing.  Play soothing music in the room as this can help too.  Hopefully she will start to come out showing interest in toys like feather wands or fishing rod toys, and you can start to rebuild trust in touching with the feather wands as well. 

You kitten might have very sensitive skin, particularly in some areas.  Some cats do not like to be touched at the base of their tail, and others around their ears, some like their bellies touched while most will instantly go in to bunny kick to protect themselves.  If your kitten is stressed after the visit to the vet her skin might be even more sensitive than usual so she will be more likely to bite from over stimulation, or defense if touch hurts her.  Touching with a feather wand can test this out and also start to desensitize her a little.

Try to resist pulling her out from her safe space as it is important for her to feel she has somewhere she can go if she is anxious or frightened.  What you will probably need to do is prepare well ahead of the next vet visit to try and block her access to her safe space, for example getting her out of that room for some food or play and shut the door before you try to get her in to her carrier.

I hope you see her relax a little over the next couple of days. If she still seems anxious you might want to try one of the flower remedies for cats, or Feliway to help her feel calmer and safer.  It must be really hard seeing her hiding away and not being able to stroke and cuddle with her like you were doing.

 

[laralove]

Having not been raised around other cats, perhaps she hasn't learned these behaviors you're looking for? 

Oliver will do what you're describing, purring while being petted then bite for no apparent reason while continuing to purr. I take it that he's happy being in my lap but wants me to stop rubbing. 

 

[gapeach]

Thank you both for the advice. She has always bitten, especially when she wants to play. She comes out when she is hungry and when she hears her favorite toy. Today she has gotten up on the bed with me and snuggled up. I think she has been scared because of the vet's visit. The biting may be like LaraLove said, she is content to sit with us but doesn't want to be petted. On the other hand....in the same time period that she bit me she lifted her chin wanting me to scratch under it and rubbed her head on me (which she's only done a few times). How can you tell the difference in a love bite, a bite where she wants to play and a leave me alone bite?

 

[mservant]

Can be a challenge as these things can be subtle and happen in an instant but most of it is in the body language, pupil and eye gaze, ear position, whisker position, tail action or position, leg and paw postiion.  .

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cat-aggression-toward-people

There is also good basic information if you do a web search for Wikihow how to communicate with your cat.

 

[gapeach]

Thank you MServant, I will check out that thread and do a search. She's spending more time out from under the bed. This morning she jumped up on the bed with me again and is wanting to play.

 

[mservant]

That is good if she is seeming a little calmer and more confident again.

I will not go in to my usual novel on biting but a quick word of advice at this point:  if she is biting, what ever the cause, do not pull away, point fingers at her or move suddenly in any other way, and do not punish her like with a loud noise.  She is already anxious and you do not want to increase this feeling.

The best thing to do is freeze, push very slightly in towards her and remain still and quiet. If her bite is hard and it hurts just say 'OUCH' or 'OW' or something similar in a firm voice (not shouting) and wait for her to get bored or let go of you. If she does it again repeat the process. Hopefully this will be enough to show her that the biting is not nice for you and she will stop.  If it gets more aggressive and she breaks skin I would give more advice or link you to another thread which explains what to do next.

 

[gapeach]

Thank you MServant. So far her bites have been harmless but I will definitely be following your advice. I read the article you shared and the wiki search you suggested. She almost always has her ears erect when she bites, I believe she does it because she would rather be playing. We don't allow her to play like that with our hands. Instead we encourage her to bunnykick a rolled up pair of socks or empty paper towel rolls. When she does have her ears back and bites it's still not hard...but I think she's telling us she's had enough, so we should give her some space. I also think if we play with her more and get her tired the better chance we have of petting/cuddling her without getting bitten.

 

[mservant]

That sounds like you have her pretty well worked out to me. 

  

With Mouse, he had a really high play drive when he was younger and I had to play for ages to exhaust him or he'd just keep going and bite if I didn't respond. Then if he had a snooze and got up looking for more play and I didn't notice he would bite at my arm or jump at my head where I was sitting so I had to respond and play before he got past that looking cute stage.  If I went to bed before he was tired out he would paw and bite at my feat under the covers and try to bite at my face, but he was fine if he got 'played out' first.  Now he's great and he just stays up a little while looking for mice and spiders if he's not tired when I go to bed and comes and sleeps once he's ready, then stays asleap until I get up even if I stay in bed till about lunch time!  I definitely believe the strategy works, and you and your girl sound like you are getting a clear understanding of each other already so I'm sure you will work things out fine.  She is still very young so you are getting on great with her: Mouse is almost 3 and will still try to jump at me and get bitey when he is over excited like when I'm making a bed and I don't think you can ever get away from those moments, but avoiding them most of the time by the time is a good goal.

I think your little girl sounds lovely and I hope she continues to settle without more set backs from things like vet visits.  She has not been with you for long and I am sure she will feel more secure by the time you next take her along to the surgery.  Here is to many more kitty neck scritches and her snuggling up with you. 

 

 

[gapeach]

I was petting her while she was in her basket a few minutes ago, I 'd stop and she'd stretch her neck for me to pet her more. I always thought if you bottlefed a kitten they would naturally be cuddly, since you were mom. But I have learned it's also about personality and energy level.

 

[kittykat56]

My cat has a very low threshold between pleasure and pain. I can rub her back three times before she flips on her back and starts scratching (hard!!!) and biting. The first thing I did was get claw covers called soft paws and they last about 6 weeks. Then I learned that her pleasure center was her face but only in small bits. She had other behavioral issues do she had been on an an old TCA called Amiltryptiline and is calming down considerably. She had been peeing in the dogs crate. Now they run around and play like buddies and the dog is 95 pounds. Look for big changes in the cats life. A move etc. I found that even putting a new candle in her bathroom where her litterbox is pissed her off and she sprayed the new bed ( which was also a change)

 

[gapeach]

Wow, we definitely haven't had anything that drastic. Now that you mention it, Zoey also seems to like being petted on her face more than anywhere else.

 

[kittykat56]

The tell for wanting them to have you stop rubbing their back is increased swishing of the tail and rolling on the back. We call her swatting "boxing" and we don't put up with it. Try picking her up like an infant an swaddling her and gently rubbing hers eyes and nose. Eventually she will rub her face on your hand showing you what her pleasure centers are.we have tried every permutation imaginable with this cat but we ar getting it. She really likes to get locked in the bathroom with her bed and her pan. She meows at 6 AM revele for feeding but it seems to be working. Good luck

 

[gapeach]

Zoey stays in the bathroom at night. But as soon as we are all over our ringworm (caught from a foster) she will be in the bed.