First of all, apologies, I know this must be a regularly discussed topic, but my partner and I don't know what to do, so some friendly advice would be gratefully appreciated.
We moved into our house three years ago and pretty much every day since, the black and white cat who lives two doors down has visited and miaowed to be let in. My partner remembers talking to the owner that first day, and the owner saying "he's always been in and out of your house with the last owners, if he annoys you, throw him out, but please don't feed him". So that's what we've done, allowed him into our homes and hearts. He is the most affectionate, sweet and good natured cat I've ever met. Loves lap time, purrs like crazy whenever he's near us, drips with pleasure, and kneads the sofa or blanket. He follows us around the house and even comes and sits on the side of the bath when we're in it. Put simply, it's love, and it's mutual.
His owners have another older female cat, who he sometimes defends our garden from, as well as a small dog, two teenage children and a recently arrived new kitten. It seems obvious to me that he likes our house because he's the king of the castle and not disturbed. We've never fed him, and we don't let him sleep over, as much as we'd dearly love to, so we have this routine where before we go to bed each night, we sit him by the open back door (we don't have a cat flap) and wait for him to leave. This worked fine initially. He spends anywhere between 4 and 12 hours a day here, and we presume he goes home for food and sleep, but increasingly in the summer the poor boy seems to have become confused and miaows and cries incessantly outside our windows and doors through the night. It is utterly heartbreaking. We don't know what to do and for some reason he doesn't go home. If we relent and let him in every night to sleep, that feels like crossing the line and stealing their cat, but it feels cruel to leave him outside crying, and besides anything else we'll never get any sleep. We've heard his owners playing with him and calling his name in their garden, so he is clearly going back their at some stage.
The problem would never have prevented itself if we already had a cat flap, as he'd just let himself in and out at leisure, but fitting a cat flap to enable your neighbours' cat to have access seems unethical and borderline crazy. I guess we need to front up and speak to the neighbours - we both keep ourselves to ourselves and rarely see each other and my partner and I are deeply conflict averse, and we fear their solution may be simply to say "don't let him in anymore", or shoo him away if he tries to get in, which I'm not sure we'd have the heart to do. Perhaps that's selfish of us, though. What would you do?
We moved into our house three years ago and pretty much every day since, the black and white cat who lives two doors down has visited and miaowed to be let in. My partner remembers talking to the owner that first day, and the owner saying "he's always been in and out of your house with the last owners, if he annoys you, throw him out, but please don't feed him". So that's what we've done, allowed him into our homes and hearts. He is the most affectionate, sweet and good natured cat I've ever met. Loves lap time, purrs like crazy whenever he's near us, drips with pleasure, and kneads the sofa or blanket. He follows us around the house and even comes and sits on the side of the bath when we're in it. Put simply, it's love, and it's mutual.
His owners have another older female cat, who he sometimes defends our garden from, as well as a small dog, two teenage children and a recently arrived new kitten. It seems obvious to me that he likes our house because he's the king of the castle and not disturbed. We've never fed him, and we don't let him sleep over, as much as we'd dearly love to, so we have this routine where before we go to bed each night, we sit him by the open back door (we don't have a cat flap) and wait for him to leave. This worked fine initially. He spends anywhere between 4 and 12 hours a day here, and we presume he goes home for food and sleep, but increasingly in the summer the poor boy seems to have become confused and miaows and cries incessantly outside our windows and doors through the night. It is utterly heartbreaking. We don't know what to do and for some reason he doesn't go home. If we relent and let him in every night to sleep, that feels like crossing the line and stealing their cat, but it feels cruel to leave him outside crying, and besides anything else we'll never get any sleep. We've heard his owners playing with him and calling his name in their garden, so he is clearly going back their at some stage.
The problem would never have prevented itself if we already had a cat flap, as he'd just let himself in and out at leisure, but fitting a cat flap to enable your neighbours' cat to have access seems unethical and borderline crazy. I guess we need to front up and speak to the neighbours - we both keep ourselves to ourselves and rarely see each other and my partner and I are deeply conflict averse, and we fear their solution may be simply to say "don't let him in anymore", or shoo him away if he tries to get in, which I'm not sure we'd have the heart to do. Perhaps that's selfish of us, though. What would you do?
