Need Some Help with 2 cats Getting along.....

[felyne]

1) my 2 cats are 4.5 years old +-.

2) i got the small one a year ago. He is 9 lbs

3) i got the huge poly stray 3 months ago, he is 18lbs (not fat, big)

4) they got along fine in the beginning, but as they started to play fight, the big one always wins being twice his weight, and the lightweight one is starting to act like prey and hide when the other wants to play.

5) i try to play with both of them twice a day, but even after play, the big one wants to chase the other.

6) there is no aggression or fear and they stand together when waiting for food, treats or when I am playing with them.

I don't know what to do. I am afraid the little one is going to get unhappier and unhappier. He does have places to hide as well as escape routes except when the bigger one lies on the stairway or in a doorway. I've tried playing to take his attention away, but it doesn't last long.

I use the pet comfort diffuser and just started using Homeopathic Pet Anxiety and trying Rescue Remedy.

Any suggestions?
Thanks.

 

[catpack]

How did you go about introducing these two?

How frequently are they having spats?

Do the spats only occur when they are rough playing?

During the spats, are the cats' ears down/back? Is the growling/hissing/vocalizing that occurs?

My guess is that the large boy is feeling comfortable in his new home now and wants to be the boss.

 

[felyne]

Hi CatPack,

TYVM for your answer.

I think u r right. Esp since the lightweight will tend on the shy side, but thinks he can attack a coon if he sees it thru the window. Go figure. Hand raised, knows nothing of being a cat outside. The two of them will stand at the window together and try to make the coon or strays go away.

For about a year my lightweight would watch him come on the deck and eat, along with some other strays.

When outside, the heavyweight would never get into fights if there was an agressor around.

I moved the bowl closer and closer and my lightweight would watch him eat thru the slider on the deck.

Then I'd let the stray in once in a while until they got nose to nose without incident.

The lightweight would chase him and the heavier one would chase him, never any cat cries. They would like to pal around together...., until he found out how much heavier the other one was. Today, the big one chased the little one onto a chair. Two seconds later, the little one was walking over to the big one. Then the little one walked into the kitchen as I was making their food and I see the little one was gently tapping the big one on the head. The big one walked away that time. And I played with them for a while and he still wants to chase the little one. Hoss Cartwrite and Little Joe. The big one seems to not want to hurt him, but it just happens due to his size. At least I think that's what it is.

They start out gentle then the big one throws his body at him and literally knocks him into the wall. I have a video if you want to see it. Starts cute, ends up, 'crap, he's too big!'

There is no hissing, growling or ears back when they start to play. If I am not watching and he has him in a hold, only then will the little one cry out. 

The big one took over sleeping on the bed rather quickly, and it took the little one 8 months before he came on the bed at night. He still comes up for treats when the big one is there and doesn't give him a second look. Only when he gets off the bed does he look around for him.

I think I might need to make wall shelf escape routes for the little one before it gets nasty.

 

[catpack]

Ok, so the lightweight one was hand raised. Was he raised as a singleton or were there siblings?

If a singleton, this makes a lot of sense as he would have missed out on learning cat language. Typically in these cases the singleton is the more aggressive one (not knowing that biting hard, etc are not acceptable); but, he would still lack being able to understand what the other kitty is saying to him (be it "let's play" or "you're in my space", etc.)

And, of the flipside, you have a former stray that was very accustom to stray rules, territory and boundaries.

So, my suggestion for now is going to be to separate them when you are not home (things can escalate when there is no supervision) and separate them when the big one gets too rambunctious (put the bigger in a rooming his own interactive toys etc...)

Play with both cats separately. This will help the bigger burn off excess energy and also build confidence in the smaller.

Cat shelves and trees are an EXCELLENT ideas and will also help expand both cats' territory.

 

[felyne]

Thank you very much!

You hit the nail on the head with the singleton. And..... the previous owner that bottle fed him didn't want him anymore as he beat up her new cat and chewed on plastics and bit her. (he rarely does the plastic chewing now, he was bored being locked up in a single room all day) She used her hands as toys and was a bit abusive thinking it was play. I just found out that she used to lay him on his back on her lap and rub his belly like crazy. I was appalled. She said, h's having fun. Yeah, right. Eyes as big as headlights. It took me until now, over a year, to be able to pet him without biting my hands in fear that I would do something stupid to him. Poor little guy. He even sat next to me on the couch arm for the first time last night. People can be, well, you know. Again, thanks. 

 

[JMJimmy]

I also sounds like very natural cat behaviour to me.  My mother-in-law's cats frequently do this sort of thing - one being much larger/heavier stray & the other a small tabby.  They're both fixed males but continually test each other and inevitably the larger, scrappier one, wins.

Other than hiding from the bigger cat, is lightweight showing any fear when the larger one is not looking to 'pal around' as you put it?

 

[felyne]

Hi JM,
No, no fear. They sometimes pass each other calmly. Sometimes the larger one takes a half hearted swat. Last night the little one was barely bopping, or should I say, lightly touching the other on the head. (He's very gentle) I'm not sure if it was a 'don't bother me' or an instigation. Neither is purposefully nasty or intimidating to the other. The little one sometimes will look around him to see if the other is lurking. Kind of like Kato in the original Pink Panter, is the best way to describe it. Lately, more often, he is looking around him, but not in abject fear, just like, am I going to get pounced on? I don't want to get pounced on. I'm hoping it doesn't escalate.
TY for commenting.

 

[JMJimmy]

I would let it play out.  Your 'singleton' may simply be learning boundaries from the new cat.  As long as the fear is not starting to stay with him after the hiding is over then you really shouldn't worry.  Cats know or will learn how to behave with other cats - sometimes that means keeping their distance.

Edit:  Our stray kitty is going through something similar with a former outdoor rival who has also moved in... he stays in his box when he's afraid but is gradually learning how to be around the other cat as his bravery allows.

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• JMJimmy
• Apr 11, 2016

 

[felyne]

TY, JM. My attention is honed in on their body language. Got great help here. Makes me feel better. Your stray is cute. My little one hid like that for 3 months in the basement before he came out. I thought he was going to atrophy, LOL. Now he's fearless, except for the other one, and an athlete, whereas the other lumbers. It's his ace in the hole. Good luck with your kitty.

 

[dbljj]

My boy is 17.5 pounds while Ally is under 9 pounds. However with all that fur she looks big as he is and she will go straight for his throat then they roll over and wrestle.they run thru the house like a herd of horses. They seem to take turns being boss

 

[felyne]

Hahaha! Sounds a bit like mine at this point. I've used the term, 'a herd of elephants' LOL. Horses will do, though. Do they sleep together? I wish mine liked each other enough to do that. I am grateful that they are getting along as well as they are. The big one just tried to pull the little one off the chair and I heard a howl, but then they were playing together a few mins later. Thx for sharing your experience.

 

[dbljj]

I bought a doggie bed that looks like sheepskin certainly big enuff for 2 but they are always at the door to greet me. I have even seen Ally laying on there a lot never Opie. It is near the heat vent so they might curl up in cool weather. Opie and Tigger would be sleeping together only when I caught them by coming in early

 

[felyne]

Awww, sweet.