Need help in choosing a second kitten!

snowymom

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I am about to adopt a second kitten from the same breeder from whom I got my first kitten. She is a certified breeder, cats raised in home, very few litters a year, etc. so I am happy there. I am going to visit her and choose from among her litter a companion for my first kitten. My first kitten is a female and when my husband, teen daughter and I went to the breeder's, we chose her because she climbed up on our laps and lay there purring. The cat our breeder chose for us (based on my criteria) ran and hid and apparently does not like strangers, so we left with the sweetie. Only issue is she is not the cuddler we thought she was (we've only had her for 3 months and she is only 7 months old so I am patient). She is a timid, but kind of bossy kitten. I'm looking for a sweet cuddler who will be calm but also playful. What qualities should I look for in a new kitten? The breeder says that as the kittens are all happy and comfortable with her (which they are) she can't tell how they will be at my house. Any thoughts are welcome. Thanks!
 

Lulu&Finn

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We adopted our first kitten from the shelter. I chose her because she sat up so pretty in the cage staring at me. We locked eyes before I walked in the room. She was friendly but also ended up being anxious and bossy. When choosing our second kitten I said we would only adopt one that was confident. Well Finn was not leaving that shelter without us! Lol. He is exactly what we wanted and I believe he is helping our first cat overcome some of her anxiety. She is also nicer and actually sat in the other room when I turned the vacuum on yesterday. Normally she takes off and we couldn’t find her if we were tried.

Good luck with your choice. We have done a great thing getting a companion for her. She definitely loves him. I hope for the same for you.
 

ArtNJ

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The breeder was right. You can't really tell. Kittens change too fast from week to week, and how the kittens are when the siblings and mom are around can be very different. For the most part, a home raised kitten like your getting is more likely to be super friendly than a rescue, but you never know. Picking on how friendly they are in the breeder's home by their report and/or with you when you come over is fine. Maybe that even has some value, its just definitely not a guarranty. Picking by appearance is fine (had someone chew me out for saying that, since "ugly cats deserve homes too" or something like that, but if it helps you feel attached to the kitten its a valid way to pick imho). Picking because you want a male or female is fine, and some very experienced folks say that matters, but afaik there is no science that it actually does if the cats are timely spayed or neutered. Its all more or less useless in predicting their personality a few months down the road. Most home raised kittens are going to do great if you are patient and understanding with them. Maybe you won't have a cuddler right away -- that is pretty common, kittens have ants in the pants as the saying goes -- and some may have some anxiety, but over time, with patience, most home raised kittens will show they love you.
 
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snowymom

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We adopted our first kitten from the shelter. I chose her because she sat up so pretty in the cage staring at me. We locked eyes before I walked in the room. She was friendly but also ended up being anxious and bossy. When choosing our second kitten I said we would only adopt one that was confident. Well Finn was not leaving that shelter without us! Lol. He is exactly what we wanted and I believe he is helping our first cat overcome some of her anxiety. She is also nicer and actually sat in the other room when I turned the vacuum on yesterday. Normally she takes off and we couldn’t find her if we were tried.

Good luck with your choice. We have done a great thing getting a companion for her. She definitely loves him. I hope for the same for you.
Thank you! I'm probably overthinking it :)
 
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snowymom

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The breeder was right. You can't really tell. Kittens change too fast from week to week, and how the kittens are when the siblings and mom are around can be very different. For the most part, a home raised kitten like your getting is more likely to be super friendly than a rescue, but you never know. Picking on how friendly they are in the breeder's home by their report and/or with you when you come over is fine. Maybe that even has some value, its just definitely not a guarranty. Picking by appearance is fine (had someone chew me out for saying that, since "ugly cats deserve homes too" or something like that, but if it helps you feel attached to the kitten its a valid way to pick imho). Picking because you want a male or female is fine, and some very experienced folks say that matters, but afaik there is no science that it actually does if the cats are timely spayed or neutered. Its all more or less useless in predicting their personality a few months down the road. Most home raised kittens are going to do great if you are patient and understanding with them. Maybe you won't have a cuddler right away -- that is pretty common, kittens have ants in the pants as the saying goes -- and some may have some anxiety, but over time, with patience, most home raised kittens will show they love you.
I think you are right that it is just a crapshoot in a way and pretty much all the breeder's kittens are purr machines so I'll probably be fine. My current kitten is a sweetie and very affectionate, just not a cuddler yet and I think she's just got ants in her pants as you pointed out. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I will post my second kitten when I get him/her!
 

cataholic07

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If you are wanting a cuddler your best bet is to get an adult or older kitten only. Kittens go through their teenage phase of not being lap cats. My one cat Jethro was a lap cat as a young kitten but not during his teenage stage. Once he reached over a year old he's been more of a lap cat. My one girl Ceriah was a lap kitten to but again not during her teenage phase, at a year old she's become more affectionate and a lap cat every so often. So your kitten might be a lap cat if a lap cat as a young kitten but it's hard to say sadly. Adults you know more of what you are getting and as they age they can be more cuddly.
 

Dacatchair

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I got my two from a breeder, and the first was a year and a half old when I got the second, who was about 12 weeks. My first and eldest is super shy, very considerate and well behaved, hypersensitive, extremely smart, bordering on paranoid, even though he gets a lot of attention and play time, often bored and affectionate at a arms length, prefering to be close in ways that don't make him feel claustrophobic. He can be cuddly, but usually only when I am in my home office needing to work... anyways... The kitten I had intended to get based on pictures wasn't the one that wanted to be with me, and I ended up coming home with the one that seemed to be strongly choosing me... I love both my kitties, but in retrospect, picking the friendliest, most confident, cuddly, outgoing and attention wanting kitten was probably not the best choice of a companion for my very gentle, conflict avoiding, and shy first kitty... At first he was overjoyed to have a kitten to play with, and always stood aside whenever the kitten wanted to play, or to eat, or to have lap time. Unfortunately, the kitten was all too happy to have exclusive access to the play time or human attention, to the point of just butting in whenever my eldest was getting attention, and my older cats generosity has turned a bit sour and the younger gets his faced hissed at every few days. They don't fight and the eldest still avoids any potential conflict. I think they still enrich each others lives, they still play briefly sometimes, and the younger cat who is now 2 years old seems to want the older cat to love him, and has learned some manners, sometimes... but other times he forgets, and they are not best buds and mostly have worked out ways to avoid each other. Which is sad as I had hoped they would enjoy having a companion more than they do. If I was doing this again, I love that the youngest is more relaxed and cuddly, but it may have been better if I had picked a shy less outgoing kitten, as I think that may have worked out to be a happier match....
 
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