Need guidance on cat introductions

calicosrspecial

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I'm pretty confident Yoda won't attack even if not confident - he didn't attack when we took him to the vet with his injury and he sure was stressed and scared out of his mind. He didn't even scratch me when I caught him!!!
He's also never gotten into any fights with any of the cats outside. He's a very "not likely to be bothered" cat.

Do you think the chances are high that, after two days of hissing, growling, and swatting, and now two days of none of that, Charly will turn again and become aggressive to him maybe?
he doesn't seem to be scared of him and when he went in, it was tail held high curved at top. I'm not sure I remember correctly but I think that's positive body language?
"I'm pretty confident Yoda won't attack even if not confident - he didn't attack when we took him to the vet with his injury and he sure was stressed and scared out of his mind. He didn't even scratch me when I caught him!!!
He's also never gotten into any fights with any of the cats outside. He's a very "not likely to be bothered" cat." - Great. He does have a great personality and is very confident. Extremely helpful in intros.

I am more concerned that Charly might be the one to initiate since is it "his" territory. So far he is being good but I still want to be a touch careful. BUT all indications are it shouldn't be anything really meaningful.

"Do you think the chances are high that, after two days of hissing, growling, and swatting, and now two days of none of that, Charly will turn again and become aggressive to him maybe?" - Oh, you read my mind. It is just hard to know. I don't get a sense that will be the case BUT it is always good to be aware of the chances. I am only a few days into learning about them and I haven't met them in person so everything has to be taken with a grain of salt. In intros there are examples of everything after 4 days like this so it really depends. I don't want this to change your emotions, your confidence as cats take on the humans emotions. I just want you to be aware of the potential outcomes. So to quote a former president of the US "Trust But Verify". Meaning trust them but keep an eye on them and let them confirm the trust.

"he doesn't seem to be scared of him and when he went in, it was tail held high curved at top. " - Yes, it is great and there is no indication to this point there should be any issues. BUT in intros a small % of them are like this a few days in then things get a bit difficult. I just want to make sure all will be fine. I really like to avoid negativity as once trust is lost it is a bit more difficult to regain. So I try to avoid the loss of trust. Does that make sense? So don't fear potential issues or anticipate them let's observe and respond.

"I'm not sure I remember correctly but I think that's positive body language? " - ABSOLUTELY!!!! POSITIVE!!! :)

I tend to be more cautious, conservative in intros as once they go bad and a lack of trust is ingrained it is harder to unwind.

I hope this makes sense and doesn't confuse. Just keep doing what you are doing. You are doing great and have great instincts. :) And tomorrow do what we talked about and let's see hw it goes. Just focus on quality over quantity. Once Yoda gets the taste of freedom and is confident about it the more he will want it and we have to make sure Charly is ready for that.

Let me know if you have nay questions. There is a lot here and a lot of art rather than science in here. Enjoy the day off as well!! Talk soon
 
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noani

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"I'm pretty confident Yoda won't attack even if not confident - he didn't attack when we took him to the vet with his injury and he sure was stressed and scared out of his mind. He didn't even scratch me when I caught him!!!
He's also never gotten into any fights with any of the cats outside. He's a very "not likely to be bothered" cat." - Great. He does have a great personality and is very confident. Extremely helpful in intros.

I am more concerned that Charly might be the one to initiate since is it "his" territory. So far he is being good but I still want to be a touch careful. BUT all indications are it shouldn't be anything really meaningful.

"Do you think the chances are high that, after two days of hissing, growling, and swatting, and now two days of none of that, Charly will turn again and become aggressive to him maybe?" - Oh, you read my mind. It is just hard to know. I don't get a sense that will be the case BUT it is always good to be aware of the chances. I am only a few days into learning about them and I haven't met them in person so everything has to be taken with a grain of salt. In intros there are examples of everything after 4 days like this so it really depends. I don't want this to change your emotions, your confidence as cats take on the humans emotions. I just want you to be aware of the potential outcomes. So to quote a former president of the US "Trust But Verify". Meaning trust them but keep an eye on them and let them confirm the trust.

"he doesn't seem to be scared of him and when he went in, it was tail held high curved at top. " - Yes, it is great and there is no indication to this point there should be any issues. BUT in intros a small % of them are like this a few days in then things get a bit difficult. I just want to make sure all will be fine. I really like to avoid negativity as once trust is lost it is a bit more difficult to regain. So I try to avoid the loss of trust. Does that make sense? So don't fear potential issues or anticipate them let's observe and respond.

"I'm not sure I remember correctly but I think that's positive body language? " - ABSOLUTELY!!!! POSITIVE!!! :)

I tend to be more cautious, conservative in intros as once they go bad and a lack of trust is ingrained it is harder to unwind.

I hope this makes sense and doesn't confuse. Just keep doing what you are doing. You are doing great and have great instincts. :) And tomorrow do what we talked about and let's see hw it goes. Just focus on quality over quantity. Once Yoda gets the taste of freedom and is confident about it the more he will want it and we have to make sure Charly is ready for that.

Let me know if you have nay questions. There is a lot here and a lot of art rather than science in here. Enjoy the day off as well!! Talk soon
Yeah there was quite some hissing, tension and chasing going on tonight. They ended up getting away from me and under the bed. I'm beating myself up now for letting it happen in such an uncontrolled manner.
I mean, nothing happened besides hissing and swatting but overall the feeling tonight wasn't good.
Maybe didn't help that I came home at 2.30 am. My partner's father passed away today so it's been quite the day. They didn't eat before the interaction. Maybe I don't know if that had anything to do with it. Or coming home so late (I'm usually home by 9.30 or 10).

Idk, nothing really really bad happened, but I feel like I shouldn't have let this happen. I was too overwhelmed by the time I came home to control it, but Charly ran in anyways.

Now Yoda is meowing as he hasn't had much attention today but I'm worried about opening the (only) door again as they will dash.

I also haven't played individually as much the last couple days due to the situation with my partner's father, and maybe that had an effect on their overall mood.

I'll try to go to sleep and try again tomorrow , but to be honest, feeling a bit defeated by tonight's interaction and like either I failed them by messing something up or being too optimistic too soon.
 
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noani

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I haven't let them interact today so far. I've spent time with both individually and cleaned up a bit, and plugged in another feliway optimum in yoda's room now (I had it next to the door in main area before).

Going to have some lunch with a friend and get myself in a calmer mood. I'll play with both and especially Charly again individually later, then for dinner time I'll try another interaction. In the bedroom again though. I don't want them getting under the bed in the living room again. Charly did not like that at all when Yoda tried to go under there after him. I moved the bed and picked Yoda up, Charly was just hissing and nothing happened but he was stressed. He didn't finish his dinner after. (He is a bit of a weird eater sometimes. Some days he'll wolf down anything, others nothing is good enough and he can't be bothered much and just eats half portions. His weight is fine and vet ruled out any issues. Just not very food motivated cat I guess).

Hoping it'll go better than last night.
 

calicosrspecial

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Yeah there was quite some hissing, tension and chasing going on tonight. They ended up getting away from me and under the bed. I'm beating myself up now for letting it happen in such an uncontrolled manner.
I mean, nothing happened besides hissing and swatting but overall the feeling tonight wasn't good.
Maybe didn't help that I came home at 2.30 am. My partner's father passed away today so it's been quite the day. They didn't eat before the interaction. Maybe I don't know if that had anything to do with it. Or coming home so late (I'm usually home by 9.30 or 10).

Idk, nothing really really bad happened, but I feel like I shouldn't have let this happen. I was too overwhelmed by the time I came home to control it, but Charly ran in anyways.

Now Yoda is meowing as he hasn't had much attention today but I'm worried about opening the (only) door again as they will dash.

I also haven't played individually as much the last couple days due to the situation with my partner's father, and maybe that had an effect on their overall mood.

I'll try to go to sleep and try again tomorrow , but to be honest, feeling a bit defeated by tonight's interaction and like either I failed them by messing something up or being too optimistic too soon.
"Yeah there was quite some hissing, tension and chasing going on tonight." - Ok, it can happen. Let's see.

" They ended up getting away from me and under the bed." - Ok. It all depends on what happens next and how they act after all of it.

" I'm beating myself up now for letting it happen in such an uncontrolled manner." - OH NO, PLEASE DO NOT do that. Things like this happen.

"I mean, nothing happened besides hissing and swatting" - Ok, good.

" but overall the feeling tonight wasn't good." - Yes. How they act after is key. If they are acting differnet, etc.

"Maybe didn't help that I came home at 2.30 am." - Ahhhhhhh, yep, that will do it.

" My partner's father passed away today so it's been quite the day. " - Oh, I am so sorry. Yes, an awful day.

Cats take on our emotions, our stress, etc so that can cause things like this to happen.

"They didn't eat before the interaction." - Ok, yep. Any time there is a change in routine cats can be more stressed and things like that can happen.

" Maybe I don't know if that had anything to do with it. Or coming home so late (I'm usually home by 9.30 or 10)." - I think it all had nearly everything to do with it.

"Idk, nothing really really bad happened," - Ok, so how did they act after?

" but I feel like I shouldn't have let this happen." - Well, it happens. We just have to learn from it and move on. We'll make sure we do positive associations and positive encounters to get them over it.

" I was too overwhelmed by the time I came home to control it, but Charly ran in anyways." - Yes, understandable.

"Now Yoda is meowing as he hasn't had much attention today but I'm worried about opening the (only) door again as they will dash." - Yes.

"I also haven't played individually as much the last couple days due to the situation with my partner's father, and maybe that had an effect on their overall mood." - I think that is part of it, yes. And I am sure your emotions were not great so that affects them as well.

"I'll try to go to sleep and try again tomorrow , " - Sorry I was so late in responding. Today is now here.

"but to be honest, feeling a bit defeated by tonight's interaction" - Oh no, no reason to feel like that. We can get over this.

" and like either I failed them by messing something up" - Absolutely not. I am not worried.

" or being too optimistic too soon. " - No, it was just an unfortunate confluence of events. It happens.

"I haven't let them interact today so far." - Ok

" I've spent time with both individually" - Good, how are they acting? Normal or is there some caution?

" and cleaned up a bit, and plugged in another feliway optimum in yoda's room now (I had it next to the door in main area before)." - Ok

Just try to act like everything is normal, ok. Keep them on their routine, etc.

"Going to have some lunch with a friend and get myself in a calmer mood." - Good idea. Just try not to worry about the cats. They are going to be fine.

"I'll play with both and especially Charly again individually later, " - Great. And jsut sit near them and feel the love you have for them.

"then for dinner time I'll try another interaction." - Great

" In the bedroom again though." - Great

" I don't want them getting under the bed in the living room again." - Yes.

" Charly did not like that at all when Yoda tried to go under there after him." - No. Was Yoda just going under there for fun? To explore? Or after Charly?

"I moved the bed and picked Yoda up, " - Ok. Just be careful doing that so you don't get hurt. And if it happens again try to be really calm, don't panic as best you can.

"Charly was just hissing and nothing happened but he was stressed. " - Ok, understandable. There are always ups and downs in intros so not surprising.

"He didn't finish his dinner after. (He is a bit of a weird eater sometimes. Some days he'll wolf down anything, others nothing is good enough and he can't be bothered much and just eats half portions. His weight is fine and vet ruled out any issues. Just not very food motivated cat I guess)." - Ok so maybe a big sign of issues or trauma from it.

"Hoping it'll go better than last night." - Yes, just keep it positive. Feed, distract Yoda nest you can. End it on a positive. Quality over quantity.

And let's see how they do.

Any other abnormal behavior from either one (other than Charly not eating)?

Don't worry, this is just part of the process. Just make those positive association (using food) and make the encounter as positive as possible. We'll get through this. :)
 
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noani

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Thanks for the encouragement. I love them both so much and I worry too much that it won't work out.

I think Yoda went under bed after charly.

They act completely normal after each time. Also last night. As soon as the door is closed, charly is the same as always instantly. If it's in the evening he'll come for his evening cuddle on my lap at his usual time. If it's morning, he'll walk around a bit and hang out with me or go on balcony with me if I go, then go sleep at his usual nap time. Precisely same as usual and his demeanor is normal instantly too.

Even the food thing is normal to an extent for Charly - he has days where all of his food is boring and he doesn't care at all. He'll eat a treat though lol. It's just some days he seems to hate the food! Then he is fine again the next lol. I rotate a few foods and he does it sometimes despite trying to mix it up. He didn't not eat either, he just didn't finish it - maybe I'd given them lots of treats, to be honest I don't remember last night very clearly.

Around lunchtime, Charly got in again. There were one or two hisses when Yoda wasn't distracted. He is getting a bit more "in his face" and it's a bit much for him. When Yoda is playing and distracted, he just observes or checks out the room and smells around more.
At one point Yoda almost jumped on him (not in a mean way, just being a bit goofy) and he swatted at the air twice. Yoda reacted to me calling him and came back on the couch where I was and Charly sat down and then continued exploring.


I'll try again now, but first play a bit with Charly again.
 

calicosrspecial

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I think Yoda went under bed after charly.

They act completely normal after each time. Also last night. As soon as the door is closed, charly is the same as always instantly. If it's in the evening he'll come for his evening cuddle on my lap at his usual time. If it's morning, he'll walk around a bit and hang out with me or go on balcony with me if I go, then go sleep at his usual nap time. Precisely same as usual and his demeanor is normal instantly too.

Even the food thing is normal to an extent for Charly - he has days where all of his food is boring and he doesn't care at all. He'll eat a treat though lol. It's just some days he seems to hate the food! Then he is fine again the next lol. I rotate a few foods and he does it sometimes despite trying to mix it up. He didn't not eat either, he just didn't finish it - maybe I'd given them lots of treats, to be honest I don't remember last night very clearly.

I'll try again now, but first play a bit with Charly again.
"I think Yoda went under bed after charly." - Ok

"They act completely normal after each time." - That is great, very important sign.

" Also last night. As soon as the door is closed, charly is the same as always instantly. If it's in the evening he'll come for his evening cuddle on my lap at his usual time. If it's morning, he'll walk around a bit and hang out with me or go on balcony with me if I go, then go sleep at his usual nap time. Precisely same as usual and his demeanor is normal instantly too." - GREAT!!!

Even the food thing is normal to an extent for Charly - he has days where all of his food is boring and he doesn't care at all. He'll eat a treat though lol. It's just some days he seems to hate the food! Then he is fine again the next lol. I rotate a few foods and he does it sometimes despite trying to mix it up. He didn't not eat either, he just didn't finish it - maybe I'd given them lots of treats, to be honest I don't remember last night very clearly." - Ok, doesn't sound like his eating was a negative sign.

"I'll try again now, but first play a bit with Charly again. " - Great

Well, that update suggests it was not an issue. Just try to keep it positive tonight and let's see how they do. I suspect all will be fine overall. :)
 
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Yoda pounced on Charly tonight and then chased him a bit. I feel like it's getting a bit out of hand or , maybe I just don't know how to handle it.

Uploading some vids now.
 
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Yoda on couch
.

Yoda on couch at start, Yoda pouncing on him at the end of this vid

The interaction continued after:

3
This only lets me upload as a short which I can't embed. Don't know why. Charly is the one on the chest of drawers. I distracted Yoda with the feather after he pounced and chased, and he went for it while Charly jumped up to the drawers.

I found these two from last night before Charly went under the bed and Yoda after him.

It's been difficult getting Charly OUT of the room the last couple times. He won't go with treats even... The last two times I've had to pick him up and take him out (which he never cares for, unless he is very sleepy like just woke up and then he likes it)
 

calicosrspecial

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Yoda pounced on Charly tonight and then chased him a bit. I feel like it's getting a bit out of hand or , maybe I just don't know how to handle it.

Uploading some vids now.
Ok, let's see.

Video 1 Yoda on couch - Looks great. Yoda seems to want to play, Charly a bit cautious but doing well. Could have gone bad a one or two times nd it didn't. LOTS of positives and no negatives.

Video 2 Yoda on couch at start, Yoda pouncing on him at the end of this vid - Really nice that Charly came up and wanted to play with the toy (a sign of trust and confidence). Yoda viewed it as play (since he was already in play (hunt) mode. The pounce was all play AND he stopped and didn't challenge Charly. What happened after that? But overall, I think that was fie especially if Charly rebounded quickly. I really like that Yoda backs off (good job calling his name).

"The interaction continued after:" - How so?

Video 3 This only lets me upload as a short which I can't embed. Don't know why. Charly is the one on the chest of drawers. I distracted Yoda with the feather after he pounced and chased, and he went for it while Charly jumped up to the drawers. - Looks great. Charly looks really good there and Yoda is focused on the toy and not Charly. Positive.

"Video 4 I found these two from last night before Charly went under the bed and Yoda after him. " - Ok. SO before the hissing and swatting under the bed. They look fine, body language looks good.

Video 5 - So this is before the "incident" that was the hissing etc last night? Well, Yoda is doing what a cat would do. He sees a tail (toy), see something moving under a cover and gets interested, excited, etc. I can see why Yoda went under there and something happened.

"It's been difficult getting Charly OUT of the room the last couple times. He won't go with treats even... The last two times I've had to pick him up and take him out (which he never cares for, unless he is very sleepy like just woke up and then he likes it)" - Ok. And if his body language is like it is in the videos it doesn't sound like Charly is afraid of Yoda. Which is great. We are talking about Yoda's room I assume, correct? No, a cat tends not to like being carried away, they like to do things on their terms. That doesn't sound bad at all.

So I am not seeing anything concerning really. I don't see aggression from Yoda or Charly, I don't see fear from Charly except when Yoda pounced (wanted to play imo) and that is understandable but GREAT it didn't escalate.

So I think all is fine. I am not at all worried. Just keep doing what you are doing (positive associations - food, Positive encounters). Keep up the great work!!!
 
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It continued as in, I called yoda's name, he stopped and then I picked up the toy to distract. Then straight to video 3, Yoda continued playing and Charly jumped on chest of drawers. After end of video 3 I took Charly out slowly and he had some treats when the door was closed again.

It may not be audible in the vid but Charly hissed when Yoda pounced on him.

I wanted to let it go a bit after that so we wouldn't end on that.

When I watched the video back I was a bit disappointed, as in the pouncing and hissing and chasing worried me a bit.

After door closed however, both cats are perfectly normal. Charly laid down on bed to sleep and then came for his nap cuddles just now. Yoda went quiet inside so I assume he went to lie down too.

Oh btw, today I played with Charly before dinner and today, I had them both have dinner separately (Charly ate in kitchen and Yoda in room) then we went in to Yoda. I wanted them to have a full stomach and be in a happy mood, as the last couple times they couldn't care less about the food but only about each other lol.

Also, the video where Charly is under the cover last night was before the chasing. He was under couch cover in yoda's room,then he went out to the living room and got under bed with Yoda following suit.

I'm a bit sad about tonight's interactions, but it sounds like I shouldn't be so concerned maybe?
 
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Omg. I was just in bathroom as door opened and a cat came in. I was on the phone so I was a bit confused but I was like hang on that looks like Yoda? Am I unable to tell them apart now?
Then a second cat came in and I was like what???
So apparently I didn't close the door well and we've had a prison break situation :lol:. They weren't fighting or anything, no hisses. Just Charly walking behind Yoda as he explored this time. Then Yoda went under the living room table and Charly sat on a stool next to it and was pawing at him (no hissing - not sure if it was playful really, but not super aggressive either).
My place is small and I'm confident they weren't fighting or even hissing before they came into the bathroom. The bathroom is opposite end of my place so they must have traversed the whole living room area to come visit me in the bathroom.. So we've had a third interaction today, and another unplanned one at that 😂 but that wasn't so bad at all. Actually made me laugh because it was so comical as first one came in and then another and I was on the phone with my mum and I was like "uhm, ma I've got two cats in the bathroom I gotta go" 😂

As per usual lately, both are completely normal right after. They were actually quite normal throughout? They both walked into the bathroom so nonchalant, it was real funny.
 
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calicosrspecial

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It continued as in, I called yoda's name, he stopped and then I picked up the toy to distract. Then straight to video 3, Yoda continued playing and Charly jumped on chest of drawers. After end of video 3 I took Charly out slowly and he had some treats when the door was closed again.

It may not be audible in the vid but Charly hissed when Yoda pounced on him.

I wanted to let it go a bit after that so we wouldn't end on that.

When I watched the video back I was a bit disappointed, as in the pouncing and hissing and chasing worried me a bit.

After door closed however, both cats are perfectly normal. Charly laid down on bed to sleep and then came for his nap cuddles just now. Yoda went quiet inside so I assume he went to lie down too.

Oh btw, today I played with Charly before dinner and today, I had them both have dinner separately (Charly ate in kitchen and Yoda in room) then we went in to Yoda. I wanted them to have a full stomach and be in a happy mood, as the last couple times they couldn't care less about the food but only about each other lol.

Also, the video where Charly is under the cover last night was before the chasing. He was under couch cover in yoda's room,then he went out to the living room and got under bed with Yoda following suit.

I'm a bit sad about tonight's interactions, but it sounds like I shouldn't be so concerned maybe?
"It continued as in, I called yoda's name, he stopped and then I picked up the toy to distract. Then straight to video 3, Yoda continued playing and Charly jumped on chest of drawers. After end of video 3 I took Charly out slowly and he had some treats when the door was closed again." - Ok, that sounds very good.

"It may not be audible in the vid but Charly hissed when Yoda pounced on him." - My hearing is not so great but it did look like he hissed but hissing is not bad if it stops something negative. It is just communication.

"I wanted to let it go a bit after that so we wouldn't end on that." - Ok, that is fine.

"When I watched the video back I was a bit disappointed, as in the pouncing and hissing and chasing worried me a bit." - What did you see that worried you? I did not see anything to be worried about. It was all play, no aggression in my eyes AND given how they acted after it sounds like my view is correct.

"After door closed however, both cats are perfectly normal. Charly laid down on bed to sleep and then came for his nap cuddles just now. Yoda went quiet inside so I assume he went to lie down too." - Yes, that is them telling us it is not a big deal.

"Oh btw, today I played with Charly before dinner and today, I had them both have dinner separately (Charly ate in kitchen and Yoda in room) then we went in to Yoda. I wanted them to have a full stomach and be in a happy mood, as the last couple times they couldn't care less about the food but only about each other lol." - OK, good work.

"Also, the video where Charly is under the cover last night was before the chasing. He was under couch cover in yoda's room,then he went out to the living room and got under bed with Yoda following suit." - Ok, good to know. I think Yoda was in play mode.

"I'm a bit sad about tonight's interactions, but it sounds like I shouldn't be so concerned maybe? " - I am not at all concerned so I hope you understand why I feel like that. What are you seeing that is negative? Where I am wrong about my interpretation?

"Omg. I was just in bathroom as door opened and a cat came in. I was on the phone so I was a bit confused but I was like hang on that looks like Yoda? Am I unable to tell them apart now?" - They will do that. :) I know, sometimes it is hard to tell them apart.

"Then a second cat came in and I was like what???" - Oh my, let's see what happens.

"So apparently I didn't close the door well and we've had a prison break situation :lol:" - Yes

". They weren't fighting or anything, no hisses. Just Charly walking behind Yoda as he explored this time." - Fantastic!!

" Then Yoda went under the living room table and Charly sat on a stool next to it and was pawing at him (no hissing - not sure if it was playful really, but not super aggressive either)." - Ok, how they act after will tell us the intent.

"My place is small and I'm confident they weren't fighting or even hissing before they came into the bathroom." - Agreed, they would not have acted that calmly.

"The bathroom is opposite end of my place so they must have traversed the whole living room area to come visit me in the bathroom.." - Wow, impressive.

" So we've had a third interaction today, and another unplanned one at that 😂 but that wasn't so bad at all. Actually made me laugh because it was so comical as first one came in and then another and I was on the phone with my mum and I was like "uhm, ma I've got two cats in the bathroom I gotta go" 😂" - Hahahaha, too funny!!

"As per usual lately, both are completely normal right after." - Great, THAT tells us so much that they think everything is fine.

Are you still wondering if yesterday was bad?

"They were actually quite normal throughout?" - Agreed. Fantastic!!

" They both walked into the bathroom so nonchalant, it was real funny. " - Yes and it tells us they are doing great. :)

So I think yesterday was nothing. Today showed us they have no intent of hurting each other. They are going to be fine. I am not worried nor should you. Keep doing what you are doing. You are doing great!!! :)
 
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Thank you so much. It may just be my anxiety and worry getting the best of me. I'm surprisingly okay in the moment at keeping calm and trying to manage them without getting anxious. It's after when I watch the videos back where I'm like oh wow he hissed and I suddenly see them as arch enemies in my anxious little mind.

I need to chill a bit about hisses etc. I'm good with individual cats as we've always had only cats (quite common in Germany, as is letting cats outside to their liking) and most cat on cat interactions I see are in the colony I take care of, where one of them really hates anyone getting close to her and she hisses growls and swats when they do, but she never strikes out or anything. They just keep their distance a bit. Although lately they've all been sleeping in a big bunch in the big crate we built them for winter.

So yeah. Maybe I need to chill. The bathroom scene was just priceless. Here I was on catsite and on phone to my mum stressing about Charly hissing when Yoda pounced and in the meantime they're walking around together coming to visit me like nothing special :flail:

I will educate myself a bit more on play vs aggressive behaviour as I'm clearly not very good at distinguishing it.

Thank you for all your time and advice! It really makes a world of difference to me, and to them by extension. ❤
 

ArtNJ

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Pretend your a mom of two boys, age 4 and 7. When you leave them alone for a few minutes to do the laundry, make lunch, etc, you are inevitably going to hear "MOMMMM!!!! Charlie is hitting me!" or took my toy, stole my cookie, cheated, etc, etc. Doesn't mean its some sort of unusual thing or grand problem. Its just what kids that age do. Your two are getting along, and seem to be generally friends. All is well.
 
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noani

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Pretend your a mom of two boys, age 4 and 7. When you leave them alone for a few minutes to do the laundry, make lunch, etc, you are inevitably going to hear "MOMMMM!!!! Charlie is hitting me!" or took my toy, stole my cookie, cheated, etc, etc. Doesn't mean its some sort of unusual thing or grand problem. Its just what kids that age do. Your two are getting along, and seem to be generally friends. All is well.
Thank you very much too. I was thinking of something you said before, maybe in my other thread about yoda's recovery and settling in, about the long slow road to toleration. And my worrisome mind was like I wonder if that's what we'll be facing.

Thanks for the positive feedback!
 

ArtNJ

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Thank you very much too. I was thinking of something you said before, maybe in my other thread about yoda's recovery and settling in, about the long slow road to toleration. And my worrisome mind was like I wonder if that's what we'll be facing.

Thanks for the positive feedback!
I don't remember why I mentioned that tbh. The long slow road to toleration would be very unusual for two cats under two. Maybe there was some difficult history I'm forgetting. Cats this age have generally excellent prospects of friendship, which I think is what you have from the videos. With some young kid bickering mixed in perhaps, but nothing to worry about.
 
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so this morning, there was a little bit of hissing with Charly under the chair and Yoda didn't insist too much.
Then the videos.
After the last video, I put Yoda back in his room and ended it there.
Charly is the one on the dresser in most vids, behind the table in the first and in the last one he was the one going after yoda under the table.
They are almost not distractable by treats anymore. Charly couldn't have cared less. Yoda was medium level distractable by the feather, not as much as before. I was wondering if maybe I should keep the door closed during these interactions. It stresses me out a bit when one of them (usually Yoda) tries to go out and then like today, Charly followed him under there and idk. I can't read Charly's body language towards him. There was a moment at the end of the last or second to last video where Yoda was just outside the door and Charly just inside and they didn't look too happy to me.
They were mostly normal after. Before closing the door, they had some treats at the gate on opposite sides.
I just feel like things are getting a bit more tense and I'm not managing to distract them as well. I don't know to what extent I should be distracting them even. Or when it's like "uh oh something may be about to happen". In one of the vids I think you can hear me say "Oh I don't like this" :lol:.Nothing happened but right after that Yoda ran under table and Charly chased him.Then in the last vid they were both under there until Yoda came out the front lol.Charly didnt do anything though and Yoda didnt care very much. Not sure how to interpret their intentions and feelings today.

 
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Actually forgot to say, when they were under table Charly jumped on bed (to the left) where I was dangling the feather trying to get Yoda out under the table. Then took Yoda to his room w it.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you so much. It may just be my anxiety and worry getting the best of me. I'm surprisingly okay in the moment at keeping calm and trying to manage them without getting anxious. It's after when I watch the videos back where I'm like oh wow he hissed and I suddenly see them as arch enemies in my anxious little mind.

I need to chill a bit about hisses etc. I'm good with individual cats as we've always had only cats (quite common in Germany, as is letting cats outside to their liking) and most cat on cat interactions I see are in the colony I take care of, where one of them really hates anyone getting close to her and she hisses growls and swats when they do, but she never strikes out or anything. They just keep their distance a bit. Although lately they've all been sleeping in a big bunch in the big crate we built them for winter.

So yeah. Maybe I need to chill. The bathroom scene was just priceless. Here I was on catsite and on phone to my mum stressing about Charly hissing when Yoda pounced and in the meantime they're walking around together coming to visit me like nothing special :flail:

I will educate myself a bit more on play vs aggressive behaviour as I'm clearly not very good at distinguishing it.

Thank you for all your time and advice! It really makes a world of difference to me, and to them by extension. ❤
"Thank you so much. It may just be my anxiety and worry getting the best of me." - You are welcome. That is normal. That is why it is good to have others have a more removed observation.

" I'm surprisingly okay in the moment at keeping calm and trying to manage them without getting anxious." - That is GREAT!! AND REALLY important as the cats take on the human's emotions.

" It's after when I watch the videos back where I'm like oh wow he hissed and I suddenly see them as arch enemies in my anxious little mind." - Ahhhh, yes, some overanalyzing. Pretty common.

"I need to chill a bit about hisses etc." - Yes, hissing is just communication. If it is respected it is actually positive. It is what happens after that is improtant.

" I'm good with individual cats as we've always had only cats (quite common in Germany, as is letting cats outside to their liking) and most cat on cat interactions I see are in the colony I take care of, where one of them really hates anyone getting close to her and she hisses growls and swats when they do, but she never strikes out or anything. They just keep their distance a bit. Although lately they've all been sleeping in a big bunch in the big crate we built them for winter." - Ok, good, so you see where hissing can actually help.

"So yeah. Maybe I need to chill." - Try your best. :)

"The bathroom scene was just priceless." - EXACTLY!!

" Here I was on catsite and on phone to my mum stressing about Charly hissing when Yoda pounced and in the meantime they're walking around together coming to visit me like nothing special :flail:" - Exactly!! The cats and what they think (and tell us through their actions) is what is most important.

"I will educate myself a bit more on play vs aggressive behaviour as I'm clearly not very good at distinguishing it." - You will be fine. As we do this you will learn. :)

"Thank you for all your time and advice! It really makes a world of difference to me, and to them by extension. ❤ " - You are very welcome.

"so this morning, there was a little bit of hissing with Charly under the chair and Yoda didn't insist too much." - Ok, if it didn;t escalate and turn negative that is fine then.

"Then the videos.
After the last video, I put Yoda back in his room and ended it there.
Charly is the one on the dresser in most vids, behind the table in the first and in the last one he was the one going after yoda under the table." - Ok

"They are almost not distractable by treats anymore. Charly couldn't have cared less." - Ok

" Yoda was medium level distractable by the feather, not as much as before." - Ok

" I was wondering if maybe I should keep the door closed during these interactions." - Let's see

" It stresses me out a bit when one of them (usually Yoda) tries to go out and then like today, Charly followed him under there and idk." - Ok, I will take a look at the videos.

" I can't read Charly's body language towards him. " - Ok, I'll try to address it in the video analysis.

"There was a moment at the end of the last or second to last video where Yoda was just outside the door and Charly just inside and they didn't look too happy to me." - Ok, we will see

"They were mostly normal after. Before closing the door, they had some treats at the gate on opposite sides." - Ok

"I just feel like things are getting a bit more tense and I'm not managing to distract them as well. " - Ok, let's see from the videos.

"I don't know to what extent I should be distracting them even." - It depends. Really only when it might be going bad. It really is art (feel). Maybe the videos will help.

" Or when it's like "uh oh something may be about to happen". " - Yes that is the best time.

"In one of the vids I think you can hear me say "Oh I don't like this" " - Ok

":lol:.Nothing happened but right after that Yoda ran under table and Charly chased him." - Ok, I will address that in the video analysis.

"Then in the last vid they were both under there until Yoda came out the front lol.Charly didnt do anything though and Yoda didnt care very much." - ok, that sounds positive.

" Not sure how to interpret their intentions and feelings today. " - Ok, I will do that now from the videos.

Video 1 - GREAT. Yoda playing, focused on the toy. Charly watching.

Video 2 -Great, they look great. No issues.

Video 3 - Great. Charly looks fine.

Video 4 - FANTASTIC!!! Charly turns his back on Yoda (outside of the room). Yoda doesn't attack. Body language looks great. This is HUGELY POSITIVE!!

Video 5 - Not much here but totally fine.

"Actually forgot to say, when they were under table Charly jumped on bed (to the left) where I was dangling the feather trying to get Yoda out under the table. Then took Yoda to his room w it." - Ok, not exactly sure I understand but it doesn't sound bad.

The videos are totally positive. These cats are fine. I am not seeing any issues.

GREAT JOB!!!! :clap2:
 
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noani

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I came home to a very scared Charly. Don't know why or what caused it. He didn't try to door dash. Just sat there looking at me. Didn't eat much and won't play (he looks like he wants to but is too scared).
No idea what could have caused this. When I left 8 hours ago he was all normal. He is walking around tentatively and flinches at every sound and is looking around wildly.
 
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