Need Advice: Moving, Jobs, Etc.


Mom to Evie, Emerson and Dexter
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Jul 25, 2017
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Middle Georgia
Apologies in advance, this is going to be a long post, might be hard to follow, and may get a little rambly. I'll try to make it as linear as I can.

Background: My husband, B, and I moved to Georgia soon after graduating in 2016 because he got a phenomenal job. Where we live is ok, but neither of us like the climate (seasons aren't really a thing around here) or how conservative the area is. We knew that we didn't want to be here long term, but we went ahead and bought a house in 2017 because rent prices were getting higher than a mortgage. Not long after we purchased the house, B's dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and unfortunately passed away in January of this year. His mom has been struggling since, with house upkeep, repairs, etc. (his dad literally did everything and she has a horrible case of learned helplessness). She is also aging and their property just is not elderly-friendly. She will, one day, literally be unable to get up their driveway.

I just started a "real" job in January of this year, after being in the area for over 3 years. It was an answer to prayer because I was (looking back) very seriously depressed about not finding work relevant to a.) my degree and b.) what I want to do long-term. There have been some hiccups but overall I really do like my job and the opportunities this company could afford me.

We have had several discussions about where we would like to move eventually- in fact, we had discussed seriously putting out some feelers in spring of 2021 (so a little less than a year from now) and see if we got any job nibbles. We want to be closer to all sets of parents because we eventually want a kid/kids and want there to be relationships between kiddos and grandparents.

B had a phenomenal job opportunity back in November to work in Virginia in an area that I still dream about moving to and living in. However, I had just been offered my current job and B's dad was not doing well at all, so he ultimately withdrew his application. Yes, I While he had not been offered the job officially, I know he was their top candidate, as it would be doing exactly what he is doing now, just for a different state government. Very little training would be needed on his part, etc. So, we decided that we would stay here for at least another year to allow me some resume building experience and licenses, and allow B to keep racking up experience in his field.

One of the places that fits all of our criteria (has seasons, closer to parents, etc.) is the area that B grew up. Now, B's relationship with his folks was/is....strange, to me. He loves them, and they love him, but *something* is off and I never quite understood what it was- but that's his business and my inquiries have gotten nowhere, so I let it be. When I mentioned that the area he grew up would be a good place to move, he quickly shut down the idea (which I totally get- I would not want to move back to the place I grew up, either). However, I reminded him about his mom and the help she needs and will eventually need, also the climate is better, more to do, phenomenal schools for future kids...he considered it. Out of curiosity, I googled his job title, and the very first thing that popped up was a job the very same city that he grew up in. With a higher salary. Close to all our parents. With seasons. Etc....

So now, here is our issue. The job closes sometime in August. I really need to stay with my company until at least January to finish out a full year. He is very unsure as to whether or not he should even apply to the position, because he doesn't want to leave any bad tastes in anyone's mouths should he have to withdraw/reject a potential offer (again, it's doing what he has been doing since 2016, to a t). I think he should at least apply and see what happens. This has been quite the post to ask such a simple yes or no question, but I feel like experience from people who are more experienced in moving/making decisions regarding jobs would help ease my mind, at the very least. He also refuses to go back to an apartment (can't blame him there!), so there would be the issue of trying to put this house on the market, while simultaneously buying another house in a completely different state and praying closing dates somewhat aligned. I'm just very torn as to what the right thing to do in this situation is.

If you have gotten this far, thank you so much. I really do love this forum and all the advice and love for our kitties that come from it. :)


Cat Fan especially Black Cats
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Jan 9, 2018
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Colorado USA
Nothing's written in stone except the health issues you mentioned.

I'd live where you need to for your job for the next few months, and if it were me I'd apply for his job. (People decline job offers all the time and employers understand that, especially these days where things are even more fluid for so many different reasons).

Whatever you-all do, hang in there, and I'm sending tons of love and hugs!


At Abby's beck and call
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May 18, 2005
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If he has a real hang up about the area, then I think it would be a huge no and you should stay doing what you are doing right now. I don't think my husband would ever move back to his hometown. If you were to move there and he ends up having an issue, that's not going to be good either.