Need advice: becoming close friends

Veronik

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Hello everyone,
I have adopted an 11 month old male right off TNR program, precisely 3 month ago. He used to live on my street in a colony. Him and I have been doing really great. We sleep together in one room, he sleeps probably 6 feet away from me - rolls in the bed and shows his belly. I constantly tell him that I love him and he always blinks back. However he never lets me pet him - politely hisses and always runs away. Doesn’t want treats from my hand.
I would appreciate any advice on how we can make a touch happen. I understand that I must give him as much time as he needs. C0AB8DBD-994A-4C3F-B7B3-1BF07D29E1F4.jpeg
Thank you big time!
Veronika
 

tabbytom

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Hello everyone,
I have adopted an 11 month old male right off TNR program, precisely 3 month ago. He used to live on my street in a colony. Him and I have been doing really great. We sleep together in one room, he sleeps probably 6 feet away from me - rolls in the bed and shows his belly. I constantly tell him that I love him and he always blinks back. However he never lets me pet him - politely hisses and always runs away. Doesn’t want treats from my hand.
I would appreciate any advice on how we can make a touch happen. I understand that I must give him as much time as he needs.
Thank you for adopting this kitty and for giving him a warm and fur-ever loving home and a safe sanctuary for him to live out his life :clapcat:

Sleeping near you, rolls in bed and showing his belly and eye blinks are very good signs that he is feeling right at home. He may still have the fear of hands as hands were involved in his trapping ordeal. You are right, give him time and as much time as he needs. Do not rush as rushing may just jeopardize the whole thing of him feeling comfortable.

If you can or he allows you to stay close to him, clench your fist and let him smell your fist as fist forming resembles a head where cats use to do head bumps. Showing an open palm is intimidating to him. Move your fist near his face and once he smells or starts to smell your fist, gently slide your fist along his cheek and return your fist to the original position and start again. Just do it 2 or 3 times then stop and repeat the motion a few minutes later. This is to let him get use to your fist and also it looks like a head bump.

After several tries and you think he looks comfortable with that petting, next try to do the same but this time as your fist moves from his cheek towards the ear, slowly open up your fist and continue he stroke towards the ear below his eye and stop short at at the neck before his shoulder. Again repeat several times a day. Do it all slowly and gently and while doing it, speak gently and lovingly to him and say 'blink eyes' and mommy loves you.

Just remember that not to over do it as you may never get to do it. You may have a snack in your fist but whether or not he takes it doesn't matter, important thing is you want him to let you pet him. Once he allows the cheek pet, slowly extend the pet further down his back. bit by bit till he is fully confident that you are to harming him and while doing that, you must remain calm and breathe slowly as your kitty can sense your anxiety.

Again, give him time, lots of time. Some cats do not like to be petted for a long time. If you can steal a 3 seconds pet, it's very good already.

Feel free to ask questions and do let us know the progress.

BTW, he's a handsome dude :redheartpump: :hearthrob:
 
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Veronik

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Thank you very much for your response, I really appreciate it! Much needed guidance! Will start practicing fists, and will let you know how it goes!
Thank you for adopting this kitty and for giving him a warm and fur-ever loving home and a safe sanctuary for him to live out his life :clapcat:
 

jefferd18

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It took my cat, Jeff, almost six months before she would let me near her or pet her. The fact that at three months he is showing his tummy to you means that the trust is getting there. When you do attempt to pet him always look down at the ground, do not make eye contact with him and let him sniff your hand.
 
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Veronik

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Hi everyone! Yoda and I are definitely best friends now :cloud9: Yet without a touch, but I respect his boundaries at the time.
That’s how I get him to come to my bed at night; he loves to look at the reflection of lights. I never attempt to touch him and I promise him beforehand that I wouldn’t.
I had a vet visit scheduled, and bought a nice carrier that Yoda allegedly have approved while watching a tiktok, but he refused to go inside it at the morning of the visit. I am totally fine with giving him as much time as he needs to do that.
I have never let him go out of my house, into the street where many feral cats live, including his parental colony far down the street. But recently I saw Yoda showing desire to go outside, for a walk with me (as I promised him we would do after visiting a vet doctor, getting chipped, getting a collar).
Now I am asking for your knowledge and advice: should I just walk out of the house with him? Will he listen to me when it’s time to get back? How can I ensure it? Leash, collar don’t seem possible at the moment.
Thank you so much for all the help I am getting here :redheartpump:
Forever grateful,
Veronika
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Joelle and the kittens

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I would definitely not let him outside without a harness and leash. And especially if you aren't able to handle him -- what if you needed to pick him up to get him out of danger?
 

tabbytom

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Now I am asking for your knowledge and advice: should I just walk out of the house with him? Will he listen to me when it’s time to get back? How can I ensure it? Leash, collar don’t seem possible at the moment.
Please don't do that or you may never see Yoda ever again. If you have the time to bring him out, having him on a good harness and leash is important. If you don't have the time to bring him out always and once he knows that outside is fun, he'll keep pestering you to bring him out, unless you can walk him on a regular basis on a harness and leash.

Indoor is safest for him. The other way to bring him out is place him in the carrier and let him see the outside world from inside the carrier.

I would not take the risk of free walking with him.
 
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