Name Three Things - 2022

[Winchester]

Last night, once I fell asleep, I slept fairly well. Finally dropped off around midnight. Rick came to bed at 2:00. He had been watching Mrs. Maisel. He woke me up, but then I dropped back off. Up with the girls this morning; it's Rick's turn, but I have a hair appt this morning and I wanted to grab a quick shower and get some things done around the house.
gilmargl Hope you had a better night.

We worked outside yesterday afternoon; Rick raked driveway stones from the yard back into the driveway and I walked around the yard, picking up branches. The silver maple, over by the WeShed, is a very large and somewhat fragile tree. It loses branches all the time, so the yard is littered with large and small branches and twigs. It was good exercise and got me some serious steps and floors on my Fitbit.

• Breakfast for the girls, grabbed a shower, and am sitting back here with my coffee.
• Hair appt at 10. I was surprised when I got it this early as I was expecting a couple weeks wait. She had a cancellation, so it worked out for both her and for me. I'm having three inches of hair taken off today. (Clarence's car appt worked out, too....next Monday night for Tuesday. He could have done it on Friday, but we're to have snow and ice Thursday night into Friday and I didn't want to go there.)
• Stop at Target for hair clips, conditioner, and nail clippers. Rick didn't feel like dealing with a pneumonia shot yesterday, so we didn't go to Target. I need to do it today.

 

[susanm9006]

Yesterday's 90th birthday party was long and loud! Hopefully all the guests were Corona-free as there was a seven-week old baby girl as well as many older people present. The largest group was probably the granddchildren and their partners. Unfortunately, because of the noise, I missed a phone call from the hospital and spent the afternoon running outside trying to contact the social worker who'd called me. I was very worried as I'd been told the hospital had been in touch with the surgery to get hold of earlier laboratory results.

This morning: phoned the hospital social worker which led to numerous phone calls and messages. I evidently have no rights (as I am not married to my partner and have no power of attorney) but the hospital expects me to take care of him when he leaves without giving me any idea of his diagnosis and further plans for his treatment. He himself has been informed but says he doesn't understand. I refused to take him under such conditions so they were planning to send him in an ambulance to his flat, which he hasn't seen for 10 years, in another town and dump him there (without a key or money). Hence the panic on my part and some rather tearful conversations with the hospital, my partner, a good hospice worker, a care home and my doctor, the one who got him into the hospital in the first place! I still do not know what the hospital is going to do. But my doctor found out that he will need to go back to the hospital in 3 or 4 weeks for another operation and she is going to make a further attempt to get a guardian for him, who will at least be able to apply for the level of care he's entitled to. What a mess - and all because he is not willing to admit that he needs help.
The message which came over loud and clear was: you have no rights so no responsibilities - let him get himself out of this mess! Easier said than done, but I'll do my best!

I couldn't sleep last night so feel exhausted and drained. But, 3 small tasks accomplished:

1. My Wednesday job: feeding the ferals. We are still putting heating pads in the houses at night but it's been a lovely day today so maybe they are superfluous. I saw both cats this morning who seemed quite happy in spite of all the upheaval at the supermarket on one side of the overgrown plot of land and a building site on the other. This evening only one cat was waiting for me.
2. Mended a cat tree as the replacement post arrived at lunchtime.
3. Put some small net curtains up in the kitchen to make it look more homely. I'll try to take some photos before it gets too cluttered.

Hope both Winchester and I will be able to sleep tonight!

Do you have a key to his place? It might make you feel better to get his home ready with some groceries for him in case they do really send him back there. And then leave the key at the hospital with him.

 

[Winchester]

susanm9006 That's a great idea!

Somebody took out our mailbox in the storm last night. We don't know if it was PennDOT or somebody who lost control on the road. We saw the mailbox on the ground when we opened the curtains this morning. It is icy outside, but we're already above freezing, so hopefully it won't last too long and should turn into mostly rain. We did get a wee bit of snow as well. We'll have to get that mailbox repaired quickly.

My hair doesn't look too bad. She took considerably more than three inches off, to right below my chin, but that was me. And I'm Ok with it. Shortest it's been in quite a while. My next cut should pretty much get rid of the remaining red. Rick was a little surprised when I walked in the door, but he likes it. At least he says he does. There was a woman in the salon who is working on the growing-out process; she has about 2 inches of grey at the top and the rest is very dark. She wants to bag it and get her roots colored. My stylist told her that that's where I used to be and to look at me now. And she loved my hair! I never had anybody love my hair! I said that it will take about 2-1/2 years. She's going to continue growing her hair out. I hope she makes it.

Got an email from Penzey that my order was shipped. I always get excited about orders coming from Penzey and King Arthur. It's like Christmas. And then I can play with my new "toys".

So today....

• Sitting here with my coffee. I've been awake since 8, but didn't want coffee til now. And I probably could have used hot chocolate instead, but Rick had already made my coffee.
• I think I'm going to go through bathroom drawers today. I need to get rid of old emery boards and such and just generally straighten things.
• Water the plants in the WeShed this afternoon, once things melt. I may watch some tv out there. Last night, I had D+ on the tv in the bedroom and I swear the thing cut out on me eight times just during one episode. Lost the internet, had a bunch of errors, and just generally buffering. I finally got tired of it and turned the tv off. I think it was the Firestick. They can be notoriously slow sometimes. Rick said we should probably just get a smart TV for the bedroom; we can find a smaller one (48 inches or so) fairly cheap these days.
• I'm in the mood to bake cookies, but I'm also in the mood to eat cookies. Not a good thing.

 

[gilmargl]

Do you have a key to his place? It might make you feel better to get his home ready with some groceries for him in case they do really send him back there. And then leave the key at the hospital with him.

I don't have a key - but I do know where his keys are. But, I am too nervous to drive so far and ......... I have no idea in which direction things are going. I spoke to my partner yesterday, and his negative attitude convinced me that there is no point in allowing him to come back to my house. He will not talk about things until he gets here, and it will be his right to decide whether or not he will attend future appointments at the hospital - so I will live exactly as I have been living over the past 10 years, watching a sick man refuse medical care until the next emergency and getting more and more irritated because he expects me to do everything. I knew this was not what I wanted and, as there is no way to change him, I will have to leave him to his fate. If he were terminally ill, I would gladly dedicate my time to caring for him in my own home. If he was willing to be treated mentally and physically by trained staff, I would willingly help fight with him to cure his various illnesses but I cannot envisage my life continuing in this state of indecision until I die from disappointment and exhaustion. So, yesterday I went to bed feeling guilty and very sad. Didn't sleep.

A new day:

1. Three loads of laundry - not nearly so much now that I'm on my own. Lack of concentration - I wonder what I was thinking about - caused me to wash a tissue with the dark colours!!! The jeans and cords were fairly easy to clean up, but the dark winter tights and socks will need further treatment
2. A young friend from the hospice group came by and we composed a new lasting power of attorney - thus avoiding the setting up of a guardianship should I not be able to make my own decisions. She and my 2 children will be responsible for preventing life-saving measures to be attempted when I am not likely to be able to lead a useful life anyway.
3. Phoned the hospital - the social worker responsible seems to hate my guts - I can live with that. I imagine she is not happy about my reaction to her decision to send my partner to his flat which he hasn't even seen for over ten years. I had immediately got in touch with my GP, who phoned the hospital and since then there is no more talk about him being sent anywhere except perhaps to another ward (neurology) or to a short-term care home to wait for his next OP. A guardian is to be appointed.
   At first I felt relieved - but I still feel guilty.

 

[susanm9006]

gilmargl , you have my sympathy for being in such a tough spot. I can see where it would be really exhausting.

 

[Winchester]

gilmargl You have done what you can, in my mind anyway. At some point, you need to start thinking about you. My heart goes out to you; you're really suffering. It's hard when the SO refuses to do anything for himself and expects (EXPECTS!) you to just drop everything and take care of him. Be kind to yourself. You need it and you deserve it.

• Drinking my coffee. Rick makes much better coffee than I do and it's really good. Oh sure, sometimes I make a really good cup of coffee. Sometimes. Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.
• Must scoop this morning.
• I think we're going to Lowes for a 4 x 4 post for the mailbox that bit the dust yesterday in the storm. Rick said maybe a 6 x 6. We'll see what's there. On to Target to check on the supply of Hair Biology conditioner. They had the shampoo the other day, but no conditioner. Since my hair is now so white, my stylist told me to lay off the purple shampoo. Instead of using it every other time I shampoo, I should shampoo twice with regular shampoo then use the purple stuff. I was reading reviews about Hair Biology and thought I'd try it. It's "specially formulated" for older hair. (Actually it's made by P & G and, I think, it's part of their Pantene line.)
• The new season of Dead Files drops tonight. I'm hoping it's all of the episodes and not just one a week.

 

[catapault]

gilmargl You sound so stressed. This is not good for your physical or your mental health. It is very loving for you to want to help him. But not at the expense of your - let's call them your mature years. It seems like the more you did for him the more he has come to expect you will do, endlessly.

Today I will / hope to / want to

1) polish the copper pots that will go on the pot rack I unearth while sorting things in the basement. Once Himself gets the pot rack up on the wall, that is. But I can still polish.

2) open coldframe and uncover pots heaped with leaves, see if anything is waking up.

3) Remove meatloaf from freezer and place on aluminum pan to thaw for dinner tonight. At least I can check this item off. Done!

 

[gilmargl]

Today, just three simple tasks and lots of time wasting:

1. Took the last wood panels from my old kitchen to waste disposal and bought silicone for sealing the floor tiles
2. Finally did the ironing
3. Spent a long time on the phone to the States talking to my partner's older brother.

February is the last month for felling trees before birds start building nests, so SIL and grandsons felled an ash tree to make way for a carport for the oldtimer they have been refurbishing. The tree was no longer healthy and each year it took longer to recover from the winter period so I'm not mourning the loss of one of the first trees I planted 42 years ago.

 

[AbbysMom]

gilmargl Sending you lots of .

 

[Winchester]

Rick is at the dentist. Just a routine visit for cleaning.

• We have to take Clarence to the garage for his inspection. We'll take him in tonight and (hopefully) we can pick him up tomorrow.
• Spend the afternoon with my nose in a book.

And that's pretty much it. I did the laundry yesterday and did a good vacuuming and swiffer throughout the house while Rick put the new post up for the mailbox in the afternoon. We should start getting mail again on Tuesday.

 

[artiemom]

*Reg morning stuff
*Had a virtual class with Apple. So so. I think they are returning to in person classes. I will sign up for one.
*Paid Rent and picked up mail

*Thinking about going to a Wii Bowling session this afternoon.
*Book Club meeting

Yesterday was washing litter box, and bathroom

Strange, I got 2 more Coviid test kits, in the mail!!
weird. Never ordered them. Must have come because I live in senior housing??? Weird.

 

[susanm9006]

Decided yesterday the kitchen needed a refresh. Spent the morning removing and spray painting knobs, going from silver to a very dark brown. While I was at it I washed cabinet fronts, cleaned out and re-lined the silverware drawer and repaired a drawer front that has been broken for over 15 years (Yes, I am embarrassed that I let it hang for all that time when the repair took 15 minutes).

 

[Tobermory]

I’ve got a load of laundry going and will take off in about 15 minutes for a haircut. I managed about 1 1/2 miles on my walk this morning but just missed seeing the bald eagle in the neighborhood. Emails are flying about the sighting. I hope someone got a good photo, but apparently it was waaay at the top of one of the tallest trees in the area. Vacuuming this afternoon. The floor is gritty for some reason. Miss Floof Toes Iris, can you explain that??

 

[maggiedemi]

I washed cabinet fronts

What do you wash cabinets with? Are they wood?

 

[susanm9006]

What do you wash cabinets with? Are they wood?

Yes, they are wood. I used 409 spray because it’s great at cutting greasy dirt.

 

[maggiedemi]

Yes, they are wood. I used 409 spray because it’s great at cutting greasy dirt.

Thanks. I didn't know you could clean wood cabinets without rotting them.

 

[susanm9006]

Thanks. I didn't know you could clean wood cabinets without rotting them.

Yeah. They usually either have paint, shellac or polyurethane on them which prevents water from soaking in and a spray and damp sponge don’t really wet them down much either.

 

[Winchester]

When I dropped Clarence off yesterday, I walked into the garage to talk to the mechanic (well, he owns the garage). I stood there and was looking into the garage. Didn't see him, so I called his name. He was right beside me, said, "Hey there!" And I jumped ten feet in the air. Scared the crap out of me! He laughed, he thought it was hilarious. After I could breathe again, I told him, "Don't do that! I could've peed my pants!" Which made him laugh even more. The snot.

• Breakfast for the girls, emptied the dishwasher, and am sitting back here with my coffee.
• Hopefully, Clarence will pass inspection and I can bring him back home tonight.
• Both Rick and I have meds at Target. We'll go this morning.

I started streaming Barefoot Contessa last night.

 

[artiemom]

Today:
* cleaning up more vomit this morning---on my blanket... sigh...
*regular morning stuff..
*watching news about Ukraine... so sad... so maddening, so frightening
*They are having a FAT Tuesday celebration at 11AM this morning..
* Have to try to learn my computer, so I can remake a sigh up sheet for Bocce... I

Need to wash clothes also.... sometime..

** Put clean laundry away... from the laundry service. I cannot fold bottom sheets, for the life of me... so I send my sheets, and towels out. I have been so lazy/busy that I sent my whites out also. They come back really clean...

 

[gilmargl]

I have certainly not been asleep since Saturday when I last posted - but goodness alone knows what I've been up to. I can only recall finding cat vomit at the top of the stairs on Sunday morning, but none of the cats appear to be sick and I've not come across any more. .
Yesterday was carnival Monday - usually a day for colourful processions and festivities in this area of Germany but corona and the war in Ukraine have put a damper on that. Many people have an extra holiday to celebrate but this year they chose to peacefully demonstrate against the war and to show support for Ukranians. I drove with my daughter to a warehouse which sells leather, imitation leather and other heavy duty materials used for car seats and upholstery. My SIL is refurbishing an oldtimer and some clever women (not me) will be sewing the seat covers. I'm happy to go anywhere to take my mind off exchanges with the hospital, my partner and his relations, which leave me feeling guilty and on the defensive and those with my friends and relations which give me support and encouragement!

1. Today, Shrove Tuesday, I took the bull by the horns and phoned the hospital early and told my partner to stop feeling sorry for himself and, instead of saying "No!,No!, No!", to make some suggestions himself - tell them who he would accept as guardian (someone who will find somewhere nearby for his short-term care, taking his wishes into account). It may be too late to give such advice but he felt better and I did too.
2. Took photos of the new kitchen to send to my brother and sister-in-law
3. Moved all my suffering orchids from the overheated spare bedroom/make-do-kitchen/office into the bathroom - having given them a thorough soaking in the bath. I wonder how many will survive.

Tomorrow:

1. Feed the ferals. Two black-and-white cats have turned up again. Since many people make use of the few days of carnival to take a short break, I am fairly certain that the owners have left their cats knowing that we will be putting down enough food so their cats won't go hungry. What can we do?
2. Buy some cheap pyjamas - my partner seems to have lost all those I left at the hospital!
3. Hope that things (my mood in particular) don't get any worse! And keep smiling!