What a wonderful thing for that staff to do! I'm glad that Lola visited you in your dreams, i hope it comforted you to know she is well. My heart breaks for what you are going through, I know, because I share your pain.
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My Sweet Lola is at the Rainbow Bridge
- Thread starter Antonio65
- Start Date
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #42
inkysmom
,It seems that you had to go through a terrible nightmare on earth as I had. Those are hard moments, so hard that while you are living through them you don't realize how hard they are, but when you go past them and look back you wouldn't believe how strong you have been and think that you won't ever be able to do that again. But as soon as some other pet needs you that hidden strength comes out again.
That is the strength of love!
Kisses to all your departed kitties!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #43
Thank for your kind thoughts, di and bob, I do appreciate that.
You all and your kitties are in my thoughts every day .
Thank you Antonio. Yes it's an awful nightmare watching a beloved loved one get sick and then losing them when fighting so hard not to. I always want to be there to care for then in any way I can and comfort them since they're the ones sick and suffering. I try to be strong but still cry at the end and during the sad times, much as I don't want to upset them.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #46
Not a single day has passed in the last 16 weeks without me thinking of Lola. She's not with me anymore, but everything around me speaks to me of her.
Today of last year we were at the clinic where she had to undergo the terrible surgery on her adrenal gland. At 9 am of July 21, 2016, we were with the doctor who explained me all the procedures and risks involved. On that day Lola was admitted at the clinic, on the following day she would have had a TC scan done, but on the day of the scan her clinical conditions were unsuitable for the test so they rescheduled it for the next Monday.
It seems that a biological clock inside me is ticking and telling me of every single anniversary, even when I don't have a look at the calendar.
A few days ago I was in the backyard and turned at the small wooden fence I had made in a single Saturday morning to prevent Lola from sneaking in the neighbor's yard. She was blind or partially blind in that period. On an afternoon someway she managed to sneak in the next yard but couldn't find a way back because she couldn't see. The neighbor let me in to grab her and take her back home before his dog would find out that Lola was in the wrong yard!
It was a year ago last week when I made tha small timber fence. My internal clock woke me up to that memory.
Yesterday I bought a new phone, the old one was broken. I transferred all the files from the old phone to the new one and when the transfer was done the new phone opened the photo folder and the first photo I saw was one of Lola... everything speaks of her to me...
Today of last year we were at the clinic where she had to undergo the terrible surgery on her adrenal gland. At 9 am of July 21, 2016, we were with the doctor who explained me all the procedures and risks involved. On that day Lola was admitted at the clinic, on the following day she would have had a TC scan done, but on the day of the scan her clinical conditions were unsuitable for the test so they rescheduled it for the next Monday.
It seems that a biological clock inside me is ticking and telling me of every single anniversary, even when I don't have a look at the calendar.
A few days ago I was in the backyard and turned at the small wooden fence I had made in a single Saturday morning to prevent Lola from sneaking in the neighbor's yard. She was blind or partially blind in that period. On an afternoon someway she managed to sneak in the next yard but couldn't find a way back because she couldn't see. The neighbor let me in to grab her and take her back home before his dog would find out that Lola was in the wrong yard!
It was a year ago last week when I made tha small timber fence. My internal clock woke me up to that memory.
Yesterday I bought a new phone, the old one was broken. I transferred all the files from the old phone to the new one and when the transfer was done the new phone opened the photo folder and the first photo I saw was one of Lola... everything speaks of her to me...
My thoughts and tears for you and Lola.
The Path of Life on Earth has a beginning and an end. That is equally true for all creatures, humans included.
I put myself in the Lola's place, as much as I can. If I would be Lola, I would be happy, finding my comfort in my place within the Eternal Love and I would ask you to go ahead with your life, to the time you will join it at your turn.
My respect to you and milk drops for Lola.
The Path of Life on Earth has a beginning and an end. That is equally true for all creatures, humans included.
I put myself in the Lola's place, as much as I can. If I would be Lola, I would be happy, finding my comfort in my place within the Eternal Love and I would ask you to go ahead with your life, to the time you will join it at your turn.
My respect to you and milk drops for Lola.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #48
My inner clock is still ticking, and it keeps saying me that...
Last year, on July 26th (Tuesday), at this time of the day, I was waiting for some news coming from the operating room at the hi-spec clinic where I took Lola for her risky surgery.
I remember that on that morning I woke up very early, I couldn't sleep.
The afternoon before (Monday) they called me to tell me that the TC scan done in the morning was fine and they would have done the surgery on the following morning.
On that morning I left home early, I wanted to be at the clinic as soon as possible and I had to drive for 1 hour and a half from home.
I was there at around 8 am, one of the doctors received me about 30 minutes later to discuss what they were going to do.
He told me that I wasn't able to see Lola prior to the surgery in order not to upset or excite her, and that I wasn't able to see her after the surgery for the same reasons. The surgery had a high risk of being unsuccessful. He told me that we had 20% chance Lola would die during the operation, I had to be aware of that and they wanted to make sure I was aware.
Lola was being prepared for the surgery while we were talking, I asked him how long the surgery was going to last, he said "anything from 1 hour up", and I also asked him to let me know when the surgery would begin.
I was in the waiting room, my head was empty of thoughts, I was afraid.
At 9:30 am the doctor came in the waiting room and said "We're going to begin now" and in that very moment my blood froze, I was thinking that I had sent my beloved Lola to an execution and I would never see her again.
Every minute was one year long in my mind, I was numb, nothing in the world around me could wake me up.
Then, at 11:05 am, a doctor that I had never met before came to me and told me he was the surgeon and that the surgery was over. I looked at him to catch any more news, but he was silent. So I asked him "Alright, the surgery is over. So what?", and he replied "Oh, you would like to know if your cat is still alive?", "Yes!" I said, "Well" he said "your cat is still alive. The next 48 hours will be decisive", I thanked him and he walked away. I didn't see him anymore.
I thanked God and all the saints in heaven. I sat again on those chairs and started waiting again, waiting for the 48 hours to pass. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, I didn't want to leave that chair because I feared to miss any update.
I had a brief update around 7 pm, Lola was fine. I left the waiting room at 8 pm, when the reception closed, but I was there again on the following morning at 8 am. I spent that night at a hotel across the road.
To be continued...
Last year, on July 26th (Tuesday), at this time of the day, I was waiting for some news coming from the operating room at the hi-spec clinic where I took Lola for her risky surgery.
I remember that on that morning I woke up very early, I couldn't sleep.
The afternoon before (Monday) they called me to tell me that the TC scan done in the morning was fine and they would have done the surgery on the following morning.
On that morning I left home early, I wanted to be at the clinic as soon as possible and I had to drive for 1 hour and a half from home.
I was there at around 8 am, one of the doctors received me about 30 minutes later to discuss what they were going to do.
He told me that I wasn't able to see Lola prior to the surgery in order not to upset or excite her, and that I wasn't able to see her after the surgery for the same reasons. The surgery had a high risk of being unsuccessful. He told me that we had 20% chance Lola would die during the operation, I had to be aware of that and they wanted to make sure I was aware.
Lola was being prepared for the surgery while we were talking, I asked him how long the surgery was going to last, he said "anything from 1 hour up", and I also asked him to let me know when the surgery would begin.
I was in the waiting room, my head was empty of thoughts, I was afraid.
At 9:30 am the doctor came in the waiting room and said "We're going to begin now" and in that very moment my blood froze, I was thinking that I had sent my beloved Lola to an execution and I would never see her again.
Every minute was one year long in my mind, I was numb, nothing in the world around me could wake me up.
Then, at 11:05 am, a doctor that I had never met before came to me and told me he was the surgeon and that the surgery was over. I looked at him to catch any more news, but he was silent. So I asked him "Alright, the surgery is over. So what?", and he replied "Oh, you would like to know if your cat is still alive?", "Yes!" I said, "Well" he said "your cat is still alive. The next 48 hours will be decisive", I thanked him and he walked away. I didn't see him anymore.
I thanked God and all the saints in heaven. I sat again on those chairs and started waiting again, waiting for the 48 hours to pass. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, I didn't want to leave that chair because I feared to miss any update.
I had a brief update around 7 pm, Lola was fine. I left the waiting room at 8 pm, when the reception closed, but I was there again on the following morning at 8 am. I spent that night at a hotel across the road.
To be continued...
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #49
My inner clock is still ticking, and it keeps saying me that...
Last year today was a Wednesday. I woke up early in the morning, had a quick breakfast at the hotel where I stayed for the night and then I rushed to the clinic across the road. I wanted to be there as soon as they opened to the public at 8 am.
I was waiting for the follow-up one day after the heavy surgery.
I had a seat in the waiting room. Around 9:30 am the doctor who discussed with me the morning before came to me and told me that Lola was still fine and had spent the night peacefully. He knew that I wouldn't have moved from that chair for the whole day.
A couple of hours later he came back and asked me to follow him. He led me to a room where Lola had been taken. "I wanted to make you a surprise" he said, and what a wonderful surprise and gift it was!
I cuddled Lola as much as possible, she was alert and happy to see me. The doctor told me that the 48 hours hadn't elapsed yet, we had to be cautios and aware that things could go wrong. But when I saw my little Lola I thought "What can possibly go wrong?". I was allowed only 10 minutes with her because she was weak and needed some rest.
I spent the whole day on the same chair, until 7 pm, when the doctor came to me again and told me that Lola was a bit worse than in the morning, she was a bit less responsive and her temperature had dropped a little but there was nothing to be worried about.
He told me I could go home and any update would have forwarded to me as quick as possible. I was happy and positive, Lola was fine in the morning, was bit less fine in the afternoon, but what could possibly go wrong?
I jumped in my car and drove home, where I arrived at 9 pm.
To be continued...
Last year today was a Wednesday. I woke up early in the morning, had a quick breakfast at the hotel where I stayed for the night and then I rushed to the clinic across the road. I wanted to be there as soon as they opened to the public at 8 am.
I was waiting for the follow-up one day after the heavy surgery.
I had a seat in the waiting room. Around 9:30 am the doctor who discussed with me the morning before came to me and told me that Lola was still fine and had spent the night peacefully. He knew that I wouldn't have moved from that chair for the whole day.
A couple of hours later he came back and asked me to follow him. He led me to a room where Lola had been taken. "I wanted to make you a surprise" he said, and what a wonderful surprise and gift it was!
I cuddled Lola as much as possible, she was alert and happy to see me. The doctor told me that the 48 hours hadn't elapsed yet, we had to be cautios and aware that things could go wrong. But when I saw my little Lola I thought "What can possibly go wrong?". I was allowed only 10 minutes with her because she was weak and needed some rest.
I spent the whole day on the same chair, until 7 pm, when the doctor came to me again and told me that Lola was a bit worse than in the morning, she was a bit less responsive and her temperature had dropped a little but there was nothing to be worried about.
He told me I could go home and any update would have forwarded to me as quick as possible. I was happy and positive, Lola was fine in the morning, was bit less fine in the afternoon, but what could possibly go wrong?
I jumped in my car and drove home, where I arrived at 9 pm.
To be continued...
Antonio, I just read your story about Lola, what a touching one. She was a lucky cat to have you as a companion and I am sure you did everything you could, you devoted your time to her. Sometimes time is short, even after a well lived live of almost 17 years. I really felt just like you wrote it in the paragraph above, my Kitty was everything to me, it ruled my world and he also was very talkative and could communicate very well. Sometimes people don't understand this type of bond between humans and animals, I sure do believe they exist and when they do, they are very very special. You had your special time with Lola and it will last forever, nothing can take it away from you.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #51
(This morning I woke up with a terrible feeling of what I had lived!)
My inner clock is still ticking, and it keeps saying me that...
Last year today was a Thursday.
I returned to work after two days off for staying close to Lola at the clinic. I tried to resume my usual routine, but my mind was 80 miles away.
The clinic would give me two daily updates, the first in the morning between 9 and 10 am when I had to call and talk to a doctor. The second one in the late afternoon when the doctor would call me between 6 and 7 pm.
On that morning I called them as usual. The update was that Lola had a rather good night, but her temperature was still a little low, she was less responsive, but they were positive that everything was going to be alright later in the day. Well, it sounded not too good, but I tried to look at the bright side of the story, Lola had survived the surgery. Furtermore the 48 hours were going to pass, we were almost out of risk.
It was 2:15 pm when my phone rang. It was the clinic. Absolutely unusual, they never called before 6 pm, something was wrong!
The doctor in chief of the case told me that Lola was going down, nothing of what they were trying to do to recover her was working, they was going to try one more resource but they weren't optimistic. She just wanted me to know that the situation was bad... I felt cold even if it was 33°C / 91°F outside, I felt dizzy too.
At 4 pm my phone rang again, it was the same doctor, the news was that even the last attempt had failed, she told me that nothing else was possible, Lola had to fight with her own strength! I was nearly passing out at this news, but I was still at work...
At 6 pm I had to pick up my other cat, Pallina, at the clinic near home where she stayed for two days for a check. All the doctors at this clinic were fully aware of Lola, it was them who made the diagnosis for Lola's mysterious and extremely rare disease. It was them who sent Lola to the hi-spec clinic 80 miles away. When they learned about latest Lola's news they told me to go there as soon as possible. I was driving home with Pallina when my phone rang again!!! The doctor in chief told me that Lola fad fallen in a coma, all hopes were lost, nothing else could have been done, it was only a matter of hours... She advised me to rush to them if I wanted to see Lola alive for the last time!
I drove home like I was drunk, I couldn't think, I couldn't feel anything. When I arrived home I told my wife that I had to rush to the clinic because Lola was dying.
The clinic was closed to the public after 8 pm. I arrived there at 9:15 pm. The doctors in the IC unit had been told that I was coming, they were waiting for me. One of the doctors of the IC unit opened the gates for me. She asked me if I was prepared.
"Are you prepared to what you're going to see?" she asked me.
"I don't know, because they didn't tell what I'm going to see" I replied.
"Well" she said "Lola is in a coma, her temperature is very low, she's under an IR lamp, she isn't responsive. Be ready to look at a dead-like cat. She won't hear you, she won't fell you, she won't see you, she won't know you're here. Please, be prepared to that!"
My heart almost stopped, my breathing got irregular, I was going to cry.
The doctor led me along dark corridors, they seemed one hundred miles long to me, until we entered the IC unit room.
Lola was in her cage, lying on her left side, motionless, her eyes closed, with an IV in her leg and an IR lamp above her. She looked like dead already. The doctor opened the cage and allowed me 5 minutes only with her because owners weren't allowed in the ICU.
She said "I'm so sorry, we tried everything!" and stepped back. I stretched myself inside the cage and touched Lola to tell her I was there. I whispered her name.
She opened her eyes, raised her head, looked at me and said "Meow!"
I turned to the doctors of the ICU and asked them why they told me she wasn't responsive, but they were all speechless, they told me that they would never expect Lola to open her eyes again, let alone saying something. I kept talking to Lola, she got up on two legs, moved towards me and gave me a headbutt. She started purring and rubbing against me. She also drank from her dish. I asked the vets again, but they had no answers.
Well, I did have the answer. Lola was waiting for me, I was her life, she lived for me, I lived for her.
The doctors, on seeing this, allowed me nearly an hour with Lola, then I kissed her and left.
I told the doctor I was going to sleep in the car outside the gates just in case. She advised me to go to the same hotel I was the night before. They had my number, they would called me if necessary.
I didn't sleep too much that night and got up early in the morning. I was outside the gates of the clinic before they opened on Friday morning. When I left the ICU the night before they told me they would call me first thing in the morning, but that phone call wasn't coming, so I called them at 9 am. Lola was fine, much better than the night before, she had eaten something too.
Mission acclompished, I had waken Lola up, she was alright, I was able to go back to work.
I was at work at 10:45 am, but left work early in the afternoon and at 5 pm I was at the clinic again. It was the time of the day when the visits to patients were allowed.
The doctor in chief, the one who had called me, had been informed about what happened on Thursday night, she said she had never witnessed anything like that before.
"Your bond is stronger than death, you're both special" she said with a tear in her eyes.
Lola was happy to see me, I was happy to cuddle her. We knew nothing of special bonds, we were happy!
To be continued...
My inner clock is still ticking, and it keeps saying me that...
Last year today was a Thursday.
I returned to work after two days off for staying close to Lola at the clinic. I tried to resume my usual routine, but my mind was 80 miles away.
The clinic would give me two daily updates, the first in the morning between 9 and 10 am when I had to call and talk to a doctor. The second one in the late afternoon when the doctor would call me between 6 and 7 pm.
On that morning I called them as usual. The update was that Lola had a rather good night, but her temperature was still a little low, she was less responsive, but they were positive that everything was going to be alright later in the day. Well, it sounded not too good, but I tried to look at the bright side of the story, Lola had survived the surgery. Furtermore the 48 hours were going to pass, we were almost out of risk.
It was 2:15 pm when my phone rang. It was the clinic. Absolutely unusual, they never called before 6 pm, something was wrong!
The doctor in chief of the case told me that Lola was going down, nothing of what they were trying to do to recover her was working, they was going to try one more resource but they weren't optimistic. She just wanted me to know that the situation was bad... I felt cold even if it was 33°C / 91°F outside, I felt dizzy too.
At 4 pm my phone rang again, it was the same doctor, the news was that even the last attempt had failed, she told me that nothing else was possible, Lola had to fight with her own strength! I was nearly passing out at this news, but I was still at work...
At 6 pm I had to pick up my other cat, Pallina, at the clinic near home where she stayed for two days for a check. All the doctors at this clinic were fully aware of Lola, it was them who made the diagnosis for Lola's mysterious and extremely rare disease. It was them who sent Lola to the hi-spec clinic 80 miles away. When they learned about latest Lola's news they told me to go there as soon as possible. I was driving home with Pallina when my phone rang again!!! The doctor in chief told me that Lola fad fallen in a coma, all hopes were lost, nothing else could have been done, it was only a matter of hours... She advised me to rush to them if I wanted to see Lola alive for the last time!
I drove home like I was drunk, I couldn't think, I couldn't feel anything. When I arrived home I told my wife that I had to rush to the clinic because Lola was dying.
The clinic was closed to the public after 8 pm. I arrived there at 9:15 pm. The doctors in the IC unit had been told that I was coming, they were waiting for me. One of the doctors of the IC unit opened the gates for me. She asked me if I was prepared.
"Are you prepared to what you're going to see?" she asked me.
"I don't know, because they didn't tell what I'm going to see" I replied.
"Well" she said "Lola is in a coma, her temperature is very low, she's under an IR lamp, she isn't responsive. Be ready to look at a dead-like cat. She won't hear you, she won't fell you, she won't see you, she won't know you're here. Please, be prepared to that!"
My heart almost stopped, my breathing got irregular, I was going to cry.
The doctor led me along dark corridors, they seemed one hundred miles long to me, until we entered the IC unit room.
Lola was in her cage, lying on her left side, motionless, her eyes closed, with an IV in her leg and an IR lamp above her. She looked like dead already. The doctor opened the cage and allowed me 5 minutes only with her because owners weren't allowed in the ICU.
She said "I'm so sorry, we tried everything!" and stepped back. I stretched myself inside the cage and touched Lola to tell her I was there. I whispered her name.
She opened her eyes, raised her head, looked at me and said "Meow!"
I turned to the doctors of the ICU and asked them why they told me she wasn't responsive, but they were all speechless, they told me that they would never expect Lola to open her eyes again, let alone saying something. I kept talking to Lola, she got up on two legs, moved towards me and gave me a headbutt. She started purring and rubbing against me. She also drank from her dish. I asked the vets again, but they had no answers.
Well, I did have the answer. Lola was waiting for me, I was her life, she lived for me, I lived for her.
The doctors, on seeing this, allowed me nearly an hour with Lola, then I kissed her and left.
I told the doctor I was going to sleep in the car outside the gates just in case. She advised me to go to the same hotel I was the night before. They had my number, they would called me if necessary.
I didn't sleep too much that night and got up early in the morning. I was outside the gates of the clinic before they opened on Friday morning. When I left the ICU the night before they told me they would call me first thing in the morning, but that phone call wasn't coming, so I called them at 9 am. Lola was fine, much better than the night before, she had eaten something too.
Mission acclompished, I had waken Lola up, she was alright, I was able to go back to work.
I was at work at 10:45 am, but left work early in the afternoon and at 5 pm I was at the clinic again. It was the time of the day when the visits to patients were allowed.
The doctor in chief, the one who had called me, had been informed about what happened on Thursday night, she said she had never witnessed anything like that before.
"Your bond is stronger than death, you're both special" she said with a tear in her eyes.
Lola was happy to see me, I was happy to cuddle her. We knew nothing of special bonds, we were happy!
To be continued...
I know just how heartbroken you both are.You do not have to beat yourself up thinking what you could have done for Lola.I am happy to hear that she has visited you in your dreams!She will probably continue to do so.I do exactly the same things you have been doing and feeling.I miss Omelette so very much. I cry all through the day.I try to remember all the wonderful times I had with her.It makes me cry even more.When I take Oubie my male Tuxedo out on his leash for our daily walk,I think of how I would have her here also.It has been six months since her passing.I too go over and over her last days.She was the light of my life.It is so hard to face another day without her.I am so tired of hearing how time itself will heal me!I do not know what healing means anymore.I don't want to heal if that means not thinking of her so very much.I will never be the same as I was when I had her. Every time I held her I felt such a warm feeling of joy.She gave me so much happiness.I totally understand how you feel without Lola.Loss is so hard to endure.I still have all her toys,my other cats really have no special interest in them.Omelette was only six,and still liked to play.I look at her favorate toy and cry.I think of you and Lola often,I am sending many hugs to you both.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #53
My inner clock is still ticking, and it keeps saying me that...
Last year today was a Monday.
Lola was still at the hi-spec clinic where she had the incredible surgery. The clinic allows visits to the patients from 4 pm to 5 pm daily, not on Sundays.
I went to the clinic on Saturday afternoon, July 30th. Lola was in a wonderful shape, better than the day before, she was alert, happy to see me and rather playful. She ate something that I had brought from home, she drank a lot. She had an IV with a portable infusion syringe pump, but the line in her hind leg was long enough to allow her to walk around. When the line was fully extended I would take the pump in my hand and walk around with her. The allowed visit time was an hour, but I and Lola received a special treatment and were allowed to stay together, in a room of our own, for over two hours. Eventually she fell asleep on my legs. The doctor told me that Lola had almost fully recovered, they only needed to run a few more tests before discharging. I had to leave her, but I promised her to take her home soon.
So on Sunday, July 31st, I called the clinic in the morning to have an update and waited for a call from them in the late afternoon.
When I talked to the doctor in the morning he told me that Lola was in an excellent condition and that they were thinking of discharging her on the next day.
The news was confirmed on the morning of August 1st, Lola was going home in the early afternoon. I was the happiest man on Earth!!!
In the early afternoon I set up and drove to the clinic where I arrived around 3 pm. The doctor in chief of this case welcomed me and told me to wait a few minutes in the waiting room. Those few minutes turned into a very long time and around 5 pm I was called into a room where Lola was with the doctor. She told me she was very happy about the recovery of Lola, none of the doctors would have bet on her, especially after the night when she was going to pass away. Lola had a strong constitution. The doctor had a long chat with me, she wanted to make sure I had fully understood what was going to expect me once home. I had to check on Lola constantly, I had to check on her breath rate and pattern several times a day, take her temperature twice a day, make sure she wasn't doing too much exercise, let her rest in a queit spot, give her her medicines regurarly at exact times of the day, have blood tests done every 7 days for a month, and so on.
We were allowed to go home at 8 pm, Lola was on my lap for the whole length of the chat.
We had won! The rare disease had been defeated, Lola had survived a high-risk surgery, she had come out of a coma, she had recovered quicker than expected. She had used the seventh or eighth of her nine lives.
We were strong! I was feeling as we had fought the whole world and had won, nothing in the world could have ever taken us down.
When I drove back home on that night I looked at the sun setting behind a cloud outside the car window, it was more beautiful than ever, everything was more beautiful than ever around me. Lola was on the seat next to mine, she was alive, she was still with me. My heart was bursting with joy, I wanted to hug everybody.
I thanked God for giving me Lola, such a strong cat, she could have lived forever!
The setting sun while I was driving home with Lola
The following days were hard, with all the daily checks, the timed medicines, the weekly blood tests, but Lola was getting stronger and stronger.
The only strange thing was a funny posture while she was eating (probably due to the surgical stitches on her abdomen) and the fact that she had some difficulty eating her dry food.
We had been scheduled for a follow-up visit at the same clinic on August 23rd, I would have reported all these things to the doctors.
But Lola was fine, happy, lively and strong, these were the only important things!
To be continued...
Last year today was a Monday.
Lola was still at the hi-spec clinic where she had the incredible surgery. The clinic allows visits to the patients from 4 pm to 5 pm daily, not on Sundays.
I went to the clinic on Saturday afternoon, July 30th. Lola was in a wonderful shape, better than the day before, she was alert, happy to see me and rather playful. She ate something that I had brought from home, she drank a lot. She had an IV with a portable infusion syringe pump, but the line in her hind leg was long enough to allow her to walk around. When the line was fully extended I would take the pump in my hand and walk around with her. The allowed visit time was an hour, but I and Lola received a special treatment and were allowed to stay together, in a room of our own, for over two hours. Eventually she fell asleep on my legs. The doctor told me that Lola had almost fully recovered, they only needed to run a few more tests before discharging. I had to leave her, but I promised her to take her home soon.
So on Sunday, July 31st, I called the clinic in the morning to have an update and waited for a call from them in the late afternoon.
When I talked to the doctor in the morning he told me that Lola was in an excellent condition and that they were thinking of discharging her on the next day.
The news was confirmed on the morning of August 1st, Lola was going home in the early afternoon. I was the happiest man on Earth!!!
In the early afternoon I set up and drove to the clinic where I arrived around 3 pm. The doctor in chief of this case welcomed me and told me to wait a few minutes in the waiting room. Those few minutes turned into a very long time and around 5 pm I was called into a room where Lola was with the doctor. She told me she was very happy about the recovery of Lola, none of the doctors would have bet on her, especially after the night when she was going to pass away. Lola had a strong constitution. The doctor had a long chat with me, she wanted to make sure I had fully understood what was going to expect me once home. I had to check on Lola constantly, I had to check on her breath rate and pattern several times a day, take her temperature twice a day, make sure she wasn't doing too much exercise, let her rest in a queit spot, give her her medicines regurarly at exact times of the day, have blood tests done every 7 days for a month, and so on.
We were allowed to go home at 8 pm, Lola was on my lap for the whole length of the chat.
We had won! The rare disease had been defeated, Lola had survived a high-risk surgery, she had come out of a coma, she had recovered quicker than expected. She had used the seventh or eighth of her nine lives.
We were strong! I was feeling as we had fought the whole world and had won, nothing in the world could have ever taken us down.
When I drove back home on that night I looked at the sun setting behind a cloud outside the car window, it was more beautiful than ever, everything was more beautiful than ever around me. Lola was on the seat next to mine, she was alive, she was still with me. My heart was bursting with joy, I wanted to hug everybody.
I thanked God for giving me Lola, such a strong cat, she could have lived forever!
The setting sun while I was driving home with Lola
The following days were hard, with all the daily checks, the timed medicines, the weekly blood tests, but Lola was getting stronger and stronger.
The only strange thing was a funny posture while she was eating (probably due to the surgical stitches on her abdomen) and the fact that she had some difficulty eating her dry food.
We had been scheduled for a follow-up visit at the same clinic on August 23rd, I would have reported all these things to the doctors.
But Lola was fine, happy, lively and strong, these were the only important things!
To be continued...
Antonio what a beautifully written story. My eyes teared up so many times. I felt your pain and worry. I can't believe it's almost been 4 months since I lost my Meela. My heart is truly still broken. I miss her so much. I look forward to your next chapter!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #55
My inner clock is still ticking, and it keeps saying me that...
Last year today was a Tuesday.
Since Lola came back home on August 1st from the hi-spec clinic after the surgery I had been looking over her every single minute of the day for three weeks.
First thing early in the morning was to check her body temperature, then to count her breath rate and check her breath pattern. Then it was time for the meds, mainly antibiotics and cortisone.
At noon I had to repeat the temperature and breath checks.
Same thing at 7 pm, plus the antibiotic again.
The breath check was something that I would do several times a day, though. It wasn't invasive and gave me peace of mind.
Every 6 or 7 days Lola had to run a blood test to check that everything was going back to normal and that the surviving adrenal gland was kicking in.
And everything was fine, every week I had the blood test report and every week it was great relief to read that not only she was fine, but that her recovery was quicker than expected, especially for a 16 yo cat.
Oh, God was on our side, that was for sure. My sweet Lola was still with me, she was better and better everyday, I was still feeling as I was the powermost man on Earth, yet I was feeling humble and I'd have liked to hug everybody and give help to everybody. No doubt I was the happiest man in the world!
Every week I would forward the blood test report to the doctors at the hi-spec clinic along with my observations on Lola of the last few days. They were surprised by the quick improvement in her physical conditions.
The only thing that seems weird to me was a strange posture while Lola was eating, but above all the fact that she couldn't chew on her dry food anymore. She had been losing her kibbles from her mouth side in the last few days. Furthemore, every now and then Lola was drooling a bit.
On August 18th I received a phone call from them. They wanted to see Lola for a follow-up visit after a month from the surgery. The appointment was on August 23rd, today one year ago.
At the follow-up visit there were several doctors. There was the IM doctor in chief of her case, other doctors for the same specialization and the oncologist who wanted to discuss with me about the possibility to treat Lola with a chemotherapic, the Palladium, in order to prevent any further, future and possible formations of new carcinomas from the area of the surgery. After listening to the advantages of the therapy and its side effects, I chose not to proceed.
During the visit I told them of the chewing issue and they called a dentist/mouth specialist in. She opened up Lola's mouth, checked up and down left and right and stated it was a mild gingivitis, absolutely nothing to be worried about.
The only advice was to clean her gums and teeth with a gel daily.
I purchased the best tooth gel for cats on the market and a tiny toothbrush for cats and we started the mouth cleaning right away. Lola was an angel, she would let me do everything in her mouth without complaining.
Despite my efforts, though, the situation wasn't going to improve...
To be continued...
Last year today was a Tuesday.
Since Lola came back home on August 1st from the hi-spec clinic after the surgery I had been looking over her every single minute of the day for three weeks.
First thing early in the morning was to check her body temperature, then to count her breath rate and check her breath pattern. Then it was time for the meds, mainly antibiotics and cortisone.
At noon I had to repeat the temperature and breath checks.
Same thing at 7 pm, plus the antibiotic again.
The breath check was something that I would do several times a day, though. It wasn't invasive and gave me peace of mind.
Every 6 or 7 days Lola had to run a blood test to check that everything was going back to normal and that the surviving adrenal gland was kicking in.
And everything was fine, every week I had the blood test report and every week it was great relief to read that not only she was fine, but that her recovery was quicker than expected, especially for a 16 yo cat.
Oh, God was on our side, that was for sure. My sweet Lola was still with me, she was better and better everyday, I was still feeling as I was the powermost man on Earth, yet I was feeling humble and I'd have liked to hug everybody and give help to everybody. No doubt I was the happiest man in the world!
Every week I would forward the blood test report to the doctors at the hi-spec clinic along with my observations on Lola of the last few days. They were surprised by the quick improvement in her physical conditions.
The only thing that seems weird to me was a strange posture while Lola was eating, but above all the fact that she couldn't chew on her dry food anymore. She had been losing her kibbles from her mouth side in the last few days. Furthemore, every now and then Lola was drooling a bit.
On August 18th I received a phone call from them. They wanted to see Lola for a follow-up visit after a month from the surgery. The appointment was on August 23rd, today one year ago.
At the follow-up visit there were several doctors. There was the IM doctor in chief of her case, other doctors for the same specialization and the oncologist who wanted to discuss with me about the possibility to treat Lola with a chemotherapic, the Palladium, in order to prevent any further, future and possible formations of new carcinomas from the area of the surgery. After listening to the advantages of the therapy and its side effects, I chose not to proceed.
During the visit I told them of the chewing issue and they called a dentist/mouth specialist in. She opened up Lola's mouth, checked up and down left and right and stated it was a mild gingivitis, absolutely nothing to be worried about.
The only advice was to clean her gums and teeth with a gel daily.
I purchased the best tooth gel for cats on the market and a tiny toothbrush for cats and we started the mouth cleaning right away. Lola was an angel, she would let me do everything in her mouth without complaining.
Despite my efforts, though, the situation wasn't going to improve...
To be continued...
Lola would not be in heaven if she were angry at you. Why do you do this to yourself? Forgiveness is not necessary because there is nothing to forgive. Beating yourself up will not bring her back, nor does it honor her memory. You loved her enough to let her go, and she thanks you for that. She fought hard, but her body was failing. It was time to get rid of it. Lola is healthy now, never to be sick again. And that is what you did for her when you let her go.Thanks Meelasmom, your words are a strong support, but I keep thinking that she didn't want me to do to her what I did, though there wasn't any other chance to help her.
I had to put to sleep another much beloved cat three years and a half ago and he came visit me in my dreams four times, last time was just one week ago, the first three times right after he died.
Right now it's like Lola was next to me, calling me to be picked up and laid on my lap. She used to ask me to pick her up because she wasn't able to jump on me anymore. I feel her next to me right now, I almost feel her gentle paw tapping on my leg.
What if they don't forgive us?
I think guilt is a part of the grieving process. I agree that it does no good to go all the could haves, should haves, there is no way to change the past, no matter how much we want it. I truly think we feel guilty because we are alive and they are not. But I do know we are left behind to honor them by passing on what they taught us, how to love. The memories we have are not all good, it is up to us to emphasize the good and try not to dwell on the bad. But any memory of them keeps them alive in our hearts. I still relive that final day 5 years later, there is no way I can forget it, you just learn to live with the pain. But you DO learn to live again, and be happy again, it just takes time to learn how. My heart goes out to everyone living with this pain, you just take one day at a time.
Lola is alive, but her body is not. That is an important differentiation to make. Physics teaches that energy never dies; it changes form. The spirit (energy) that animated Lola's body is very much alive in another dimension -- call it heaven, the other side, the Rainbow Bridge -- whatever you like. But the English language is deceptive when it says someone dies. No, the body dies. That person is not at the cemetery in the casket -- only the body is, and it has been cast off because it is no longer needed. So Lola is very much alive in spirit.
Interestingly, in Spanish, there are two words for the verb, "to be" -- one, ser, is something that is permanent, like someone is tall, is female, etc. But estar, is something that is temporary, like being hungry, tired, and so on. Death is considered temporary -- El esta muerto -- he is dead.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #59
Thanks everybody! Your words have been of support!
Yesterday I received one of the greatest gifts and surprises I could get.
While cleaning the house, in a hidden spot I found a Lola's whisker!!!
It was hers for sure, it was black. A wonderful gift, a treasure!
It was like a sign of Lola saying I'm still here
Yesterday I received one of the greatest gifts and surprises I could get.
While cleaning the house, in a hidden spot I found a Lola's whisker!!!
It was hers for sure, it was black. A wonderful gift, a treasure!
It was like a sign of Lola saying I'm still here
A priceless find!!! I kept each and every hair I received from my little girl, a treasure beyond compare. Good for you!
