My Snowball Is Gone

[CatLover49]

Please someone anyone
Please tell me how to get through this
My baby passed on the 8th of this month July
And my hurt is as bad as the day it happened

 

[FeebysOwner]

I know you are struggling. But, you have had close family members, whose deaths you have had to deal with, no? What did you do then? No one can tell you exactly how to get through this, as everyone deals with it differently.

You just have to know - first off - that this is reality. Nothing you can do will change what has happened. Then, you have to draw strength from accepting that and trying to understand that you have to move on - especially so you can get to a point of being able to remember Snowball in a way that allows fond memories and smiles, not pain. Snowball feels no pain now, and he would not want you to either.

What about your new kitten? You can't forget it, you need to nurture. So, focus on this new kitten and think about what made Snowball happy and offer that to your new little gift.

I lost Tawny to FIP and oddly enough another kitten was bestowed upon me that very same day - not of my doing. I thought of Tawny and nurtured Gracie in the same way. When I lost Gracie, I didn't look for another cat, nor did one show up for me. I spent 2 lost years until Feeby found me. What I am saying is that every case is different. You need to find what nurtures your soul to be able to appreciate the time that you were able to have with Snowball, embrace it, and learn to love it not mourn over it. No justice for Snowball if you don't.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

It has only been a bit over two weeks...and every moment has felt like forever. I know this. But it has only been a bit over two weeks. Grief takes time. You just put one foot in front of the other until. And that "until" is different for everyone, but no one with normal emotional responses stop grieving in two or three weeks. It is cold comfort, but perhaps knowing that what you are feeling is normal in every way is some comfort.

FeebysOwner is right...nurture this new little life that is under your care. You BOTH deserve that. You are honoring your love for Snowball with this new baby.With every caress, snuggle, play period, feeding, you are telling Snowball how much you appreciate all that you learned about cats from your life together, and how much that joy meant to you. I promise you, Snowball FEELS your love even now, but is not jealous of this new baby. There is room for more than one love in a heart, or we would never have more than one human child. Snowball knows that, very well. Someday, one day, in the fullness of time, Snowball will tell you that face-to-face, and thank you.

Remember your signature...ALL cats are special, each in their own way. Snowball is a treasured memory (and will, someday, bring joy), and this new kitten is the legacy of the love that you and Snowball shared.

 

[di and bob]

I hope you know that each and every one of us has gone through exactly what you are going through. You are NOT alone in feeling like you do. Please know that although we are all still hurting, even after years, it DOES get better in time. It will still ache but not be crippling like it is now. I'm not talking days or weeks, I'm talking months and even years. You will slowly learn a new lif's order and start to live again. I was a mess for a long time.....
I felt my Chrissy's death far deeper and for far longer than my own father's. I loved my father and I hurt on his death, but he had suffered a stroke and I knew he would rather be dead than live that way, he had told me this many times. When my 16-year-old Burt, a cat I loved deeply, died I didn't suffer near as long or hard either, he was ready, he was suffering and it was not going to get better. Now is the time you have to rely on what your vet told you. They have seen much, their heart is not involved like ours is. Your precious Snowball was suffering. It was not something that could be fixed, it was not something that you, yourself, could make go away by wishing or with prayers. Your baby's quality of life was no more, it was a future full of pain and suffering. There was no way you could prolong that for someone you love. No matter how much we want it to change, to be different, it is as it is and is set in stone. To dwell on something that cannot be changed is futile. It does nothing but bring on more pain, more misery to an already broken heart. You have to live in the present, purposely focus on what is good, what is healing, like that sweet little kitten that is trying so hard to get your love. Do NOT think into the future, thinking the rest of your life will be miserable, do NOT dwell on Snowball's end. If you do, you make that end more important than the life and that is not true. Snowball's life WAS important, it was a good, a blessed, part of your life. Don't let death take away how you spend your life. Snowball's love is so much more important and will be with you always. That love is there, reach for it. That love would NEVER want you to be so sad, just as you would not want Snowball to give up if you were the first to go.
Snowball is at peace because of your love. That love is a part of you and it is up to you to know what to do with it. Hide it, drown it in tears, let it be hidden in the darkness of grief. Or display it, bring it forward into the sunshine and add to it by opening your heart to other loves. It can be done, witnessed by all of us here. But it is YOUR love, YOUR pain. It is up to you to begin the journey back into living. And it begins by taking a single step. Acknowledging you are hurting so very much and then getting through these first days and months a day at a time. Knowing you are stronger than you think,
that there is help out there, that you are not alone. One day at a time.......

 

[les26]

It unfortunately is just something that we have to endure, it hurts like hell, we too at times feel as if we will also die and don't half care if we do, but we endure it, and slowly, little by little, we regain strength, be it by time or prayer or faith or whatever, but we realize that life does go on. Each time that we lose one it takes a piece of our heart with them and we can never get it back, but we made the choice to love them and take care of them and we know that their lifespan is short, but none of that matters when we are in the pit of grief and our hearts are just so broken....

I have said these things many times and will say them again, I learned about Holy Basil which helps you adapt to stress, and also the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara which helps you deal with the grief and sudden shock and loss, please check them out but probably the most important one is the Ignatia, you get no side effects from it and it does work, Google them and read about them and you can get them at any good health food/vitamin store.

The other thing is when Sylvester goes I don't know how I will deal with it, I dread that day already as he is so so special to me, but I know it is coming one day, hopefully years away yet, and I just take care of him and love him up as much as I can right now. But I can imagine myself being a train wreck when it does happen, he is my joy....

I hope that our words help you, we all know how hard it is. Please Google what I said and please stay on here with us, words can sometime help greatly.

God Bless......

 

[Tik cat's mum]

You are not alone like others have said we've been where you are now, It's early day's just give yourself time to grieve because there's no set time limit. Snowball has paved the way for you to be as good a mum as you was to your new kitten. She has taught you well and as@FeebysOwner has said Snowball would want you to be happy and celebrate what Snowball has learnt you.

 

[solomonar]

All Creatures are visitors on Earth.

Some Souls are so close to our heart, that it hurts so much when they leave us to return back Home.
It is for a reason. Remember the tempests bring us to wonderful places.

Look inside and follow your Heart, do the good things that your Heart is telling you to do.
You will know what, maybe you will care and bring joy to other cats. I do not know. But you will see.

Love.

 

[dan7800]

Feeling sad over a loss just means that you loved. Take it one day at a time, billions of people have gotten over a loss. You can too.

 

[neely]

I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your sweet Snowball. I cannot add anything to what other members have said except that my heart goes out to you. It takes time to grieve and it's never easy but in time you will be able to look back and remember all the wonderful memories. RIP dear angel.

 

[Loving Mickey]

I am so, so sorry that you are hurting so bad. I know that pain all too well.
My heart breaks for you. A few months ago, I lost my Mittens, and I cry daily over his loss. My heart feels like it is breaking in pieces, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I wish that I could bring my Mittens back to me, but I can't. There is nothing in the world I can do. The pain can be unbearable at times. Believe me, I know.
I wish I had some magic words to comfort you. I feel your pain, and I so wish that I could help. Just always remember that Snowball is with you still, tucked safely in your heart.
Your sweet kitty has left a piece of her heart with you and has taken a piece of your heart to comfort her. I hope that one day you can think of your Snowball with more smiles than tears.
Just remember, one day at a time, or even one minute at a time.

 

[Loving Mickey]

Also, I just noticed that your Snowball passed on July 8th.
My Mickey, avatar picture, passed on July 8th, 2014.
I bet they are friends, along with my Mittens.