My Pumps Who Loved Me So Much Is Now A Star In The Sky

foxxycat

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My sweet girl earned her wings last night around 5:30pm. There were things out of my control. I suspect that she had congestive heart failure and renal failure followed from the heart not being able to keep pumping. She was very weak and I mistakenly thought it was from not eating. at least next time this happens I won't wait so long. My poor girl.
 

Kflowers

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I'm so sorry this happened, but at least you know she is at peace and free to come and go as she pleases. The bond of love never breaks, never ends, it binds one heart to another eternally.
 
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foxxycat

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I know but it sucks. I absolutely hate hate hate watching my sick kitties deteriorate. it's like it sucks a part of me with their soul until we bury them. Then a piece of my heart goes into the ground with them. Then my heart harden up a bit more. I fear some day I will never want to love anything again because it hurts so damn much.
 
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foxxycat

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This journey started the weekend od Thanksgiving. I noticed she was not as hapoy about eating. She was eating treats so didn't think anything about it. Then the weekend she really slowrd down the eating. While all this was going on she was sneezing and green goop was on the edges of eyes n nose.

Monday morning to the vet. 11.2lbs. Down from 12.2lbs. I noticed the past month that she was rapidly loosing muscle mass. but she is 15 and it can happen if one doesn't use them.
So we did sub fluids, Cerenia, Convenia incase of bladder infection. They couldn't get any urine. mirtazapine and when we got home she went to the food dish and ate good that day. Peed a ton. Which is to be expected.

Tuesday Wed Thur back to where she was but this time each day some slight side swelling. I didnt think to say anything. Thursday back to the vet.

More fluids. This time zithromax added. Cerenia solution for her nose. A new thing for uri relief. That night she was really having a hard time walking. she would walk a few then lay down. I attribute it to being weak from not eating. The weird thing was her weight was 12.2.

Remember it was 11.2lbs 3 days ago. sigh. I should have noticed something was wrong.

I calked friday and said shes swollen they just said it's fine. Nothing showed up on xrays. Also her urine output diminished big time by this time despite fluids. I was alarmed. Friday night they gave me entyce to try. A stimulant for eating. She vomited it up. And they said do more fluids. I should never have done this. But ya know I thought I was helping her.

So fri nite force fed her baby food she hated it. I hated it. Horrible anxiety attacks all week. Bad bad thoughts. Just not healthy.

Sat i went to work. Came home. Sbe was laying on the floor weird. I picked her up gently and said I'm taking her in to er. I said sbes not eliminating and this is a medical emergency. he was crying. I was too. He said he would stay here.

When at vet she was 12.5lbs. I already decided to put her down on ride to the vet. I couldnt let her suffer. The vet agrees with me after explaining everything.

Then she said aftr watching the cat it's obvious something is wrong n we need to hurry and let her go. So we did. We couldn't find the vein so they had to resort to plan B. I stepped out for the vet to work without me hanging over her shoulder. She had out her dog down 2 days ago. It was sad.

She said I made the best choice for her. Said because she had such a hard time finding a vein then that must mean the heart was failing. The heart wasnt able to pump enough blood to her kidneys to work. Also I suspect that a valve in there went bad. She developed a murmur last November.

My poor girl suffered for 2 days because I kept hemming and hawwing and arguing with Jon. We were pretty angry at each other. I wanted to put her down Wednesday.

I knew it was more than a cold. But I just couldn't put my finger on it. I noticed on sat and fri mornings her gums were not as red and her tongue was pale in the middle. She was nice and pink on Tuesday and possibly wed.

My girl she knew I loved her and will never forget m
 

kittyluv387

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Please don't blame yourself. You honestly did the best you could and you were reactive to her issues. That's all you can do. And deciding to let her go isn't an easy decision. It seems like everyone always thinks it was too soon or too late. There's no winning! I think she was in the best hands, in yours.
 

orange&white

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We all know how much you loved Pumps. More importantly, Pumps knew how much you loved her. You did the right thing by her for her entire life. She could not have wanted or asked for more.

She's at peace now and will be waiting for you at the bridge. :grouphug2:
 

kittylove53

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I am devastated to hear about your precious Pumpkin.I lost my Omelette almost two years ago.You did the right thing for her.She was suffering!I found out on Kelly's thread with Sammie.My heart goes out to you.I watched my Omelette suffer, and I wish I had the inner strength to have put her down before she withered away.I am sending loving thoughts and prayers to you.She was a beautiful and loving kitty.She knows how much she was, and always will be in your heart.
 

Kflowers

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Insufficient and incorrect information and hope were behind your delay. Pumpkin knows you were doing the best you could with the information you had. She knows you overrode the information and opinions of those around you just for her. You decided the vet who said she needed more fluids was wrong. You threw your heart in the way of medical degrees and gave her peace. She knows this was hard and frightening for you. She knew you would do no less, as she would have done the same for you.
 

Furballsmom

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Everyone here is so loving for you, it is wonderful to see that on your behalf, [email protected] comments :)
I had something similar too, with our Main coon. I wanted to let her go and had to wait until there was agreement in the entire house.
It's just so difficult, no matter the situation. My heart goes out to you all, and to your Bee kitty as well.
 
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foxxycat

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:heartshape:

Jon buried her out back. It looks like its the same area as where Floey and Flash are buried. God I don't know how he does it. I find it hard to put them down but harder to bury them. He's the opposite. He says he can't watch them breathe their last breath. but he can lay them to rest.

I feel like I missed out on sharing this together today because I was not able to be here for the burial. I think he was relieved. I think it was easier for him to do this in private since Pumps was more his kitty. I'm just so sad for Jon. He won't talk about her for a long time. It's like a forbidden thing here. We can't talk about the deceased. Which in my opinion is not healthy at all. But that's the difference between men and women. We deal with things differently. :confused2::bawling:
 

ans5181

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I'm so sorry for your loss, it's always so difficult to have to say goodbye to them and feel like we are so responsible. But you did everything you could, gave her the greatest and most loving gift, and she is not suffering any more. She will always be with you. Rest now, sweet Pumpkin.
 

les26

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I am sorry for your loss, you did all that you could and did the right albeit most difficult thing, but she is fine now, just fine, and when you see her again someday down the line it will be wonderful.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your hearts heal a bit more each day, God Bless.......:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 

Lari

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Goodbye, beautiful Pumpkin Face. I loved hearing all about you and seeing your beautiful colors here on TSC. I'm glad you are no longer in pain and enjoying yourself on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. And my your family find comfort here on this side.
 

angels mommy

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You did everything you knew, & could do for her. ..........Decissions of mind, & heart.
CanIts never easy to go through. She knew you loved her, and were doing everything to help her.
We do everything we can to try and make it better, until we can't, and thats when we know. I know Angel was probably ready that last week, but i had the E-tube put in, in hopes of him getting food & getting through what I hoped was only a rough patch. I hated that I put him through that, along with chemo, but at the same time, I knew I had done everything I possibly could.
Your sweet girl is at peace now. No longer suffering. Let that bring you some peace.
Im sure she was met there by all of our rainbow bridge babies. :rbheart:
Sending you love & hugs! :hugs::hugs::hugs:
 
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