My poor kitty

DebbieLamb

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First of all, I'm going to say my kitty is under a veterinarian's care.

My poor girl is 15 years old. Former barn cat that became a house cat about 7 years ago after being attacked by another cat. She needed medication and it was easier to keep her inside than to try to capture her each time she needed medication. She has loved the house cat life, has never asked to go outside since she came in the house.

Being that she was born a barn cat, she was pretty much born with an upper respiratory infection. I've been able to treat it when it gets really bad but it more or less is something she has. Other than that, she's been pretty darn healthy. Until recently.

Back in May, something happened, and it's hard to describe. She was walking past the dog and made a strange meow and collapsed on the floor. When I went to her, she was doing a weird dizzy thing with her head. If you've ever seen a dizzy cat, you know what I mean. I sat with her for a few minutes and she seemed to be fine. I decided to monitor her and see if it happened again. I thought maybe my dog stepped on her or hit her with her tail. Fast forward a couple of weeks later and I could tell something wasn't right with her. She was pretty wobbly when she walked and would occasionally fall over. So, off to the vet she went. Vet couldn't find anything obviously wrong with her and decided not to do bloodwork at that time. Vet thought maybe she had an embolism go to her brain.

A week or so later, I noticed that the outside of one of her ears felt a bit crusty. So, she went back to the vet and it was determined she had an ear infection. Got meds for that, Clovamax and some ear drops. Unfortunately, no one at the clinic told me that the Clovamax was supposed to be refrigerated so I ended up having to get another bottle. She ended up on the Clovamax for almost two weeks. After that, she seemed to be doing better. But a week or so after that, she started to hide. She'd come out if I encouraged her but she wouldn't stay if I didn't pet her and she'd go right back into hiding. So.. back to the vet she went again. Another 10 days of the ear drops at that time but no oral meds. After that, back again and by this time, the ear infection had gotten so bad, it was now in her middle ear and her ear drum is gone. She was then on another oral antibiotic, ear drops and a steriod for a week. Took her back for a recheck, the ear was clearing up but the vet wanted her to stay on all meds for at least another two weeks. During this time, she quit eating. It has now been about 3 weeks since she's eaten much of anything on her own. Vet put her on an appetite stimulant, which helped for a few days. Blood work was done a couple of weeks ago and everything was good.

She is now eating nothing on her own at all, she has been done the oral antibiotics for almost two weeks, is still on the ear drops and gets the steriod every second day. I'm assist feeding her. Syringe feeding didn't go over well, so I'm using my finger. We've gotten a fairly good system down but I'm having to feed her four times a day. She doesn't clean herself so I give her "baths", which she seems to enjoy.

Now, another new concern has popped up. Her meow has changed and she is purring with an open mouth. She has a vet visit tomorrow morning and I'll bring that up then. So, I'm not really asking for medical advice.

I feel like I'm on a constant roller coaster with her. She doesn't tell me that she's ready to go yet. But I don't know if assisted feeding is the right thing to do anymore. Am I doing it for her or for me? I don't know if she has a chance of recovering from this or not. I feel so conflicted at this point.
 

StanAndAlf

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I think you have a really hard decision to make, and I'm sorry you are in this position. I know you didn't ask for medical advice, but I would get her tested for FIV, it sounds as though she might have it, and that could affect your decision. Best of luck, please keep us updated.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Ask your vet about polyps, please. They can be missed if they are very deep in the ear canal, and can cause the symptoms you are describing, as well as infections, as the ear cannot clean itself normally.

Also, are you seeing a general vet, or a "feline only" vet? You really need someone who concentrates on cats working with you on this:

Find a Veterinarian and Practice | Cat Friendly Homes

Here is your bottom line: unless you are prepared to go ahead with euthanasia, you must continue the assisted feeding. Deciding to help her cross the Bridge must be what is best for her, and what you can do. There are two living beings in this relationship. SHE does not fear death at all, there is no dread, only simple acceptance that this is what comes next. Remember that, IF this is the time. And being conflicted is so very human. I think that we all are, to one degree or another, when faced with these choices.

I would at least ask about the possibility of polyps, either in the ear, or above the soft palate, which can occasionally affect the ears. Make sure you have covered all of your bases. Then do what is best for the two of you with a peaceful heart.
 

Jcatbird

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If she is still feeling dizzy and still on meds, both things can make her feel she doesn’t want to eat. She could feel nausea so ask about that too. Is she taking fluids? If that’s a problem too some fluids might bring her up enough to eat again as well. Keep up the devoted feeding and care you have been giving and then make the decisions that are best for her. Sometimes we can find answers to make them well and sometimes the best thing we can do for them is to set them free. Just make sure you have explored all avenues so you can make the decision with all the information in hand. We can try to give them quality of life and we can give them love. If we do those things, we have done the best possible. My heart is with you both.
 
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DebbieLamb

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Thanks everyone for the responses. My post was long, and I missed a lot of things. The vet did say there was a possibility of a polyp deep in her ear where she couldn't see. She has had a small lump under her ear for quite some time. After the recheck today, the vet feels that the lump is likely cancerous. There is no way to know for sure without doing a CT scan and that won't do anything to change the outcome.

So, I'll finish out the steroids that I have here, there's about a week left. Continue with the appetite stimulant, even though at this point she's not eating anything on her own. I'll continue assisted feeding her until she tells me that she is done. I've been down this road before, I had a young cat with lymphoma back in 2007. I've had two dogs with cancer. I will just love her until it's her time.
 
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