My love has terminal cancer

[nartyteek]

Sounds like things are going okay at the moment, but I'll be blunt about my philosophy. I always regret when I have waited too long, and times when I've chosen to go in "a bit soon" I treasure. I will feel sad about that potential missed time for a bit, but planning things out and doing it when the animal is not at their absolute worst makes for some charming memories that comfort me in my darker moments of mourning. I regret every emergency euthanasia, and it's my goal to avoid them ever again if I can. It really, really sucks if you've never done it. If you get a plan ready now for when things get worse, you can make a lovely day of saying goodbye.

I found out one of my cats was dying of cancer during a dental procedure not so long ago, and saying goodbye was a lovely day for us. I held her so close when she was drugged up lol. I'm glad I got to say goodbye. It was gonna be hard to do no matter what, but I think I made an okay choice of what I had to choose from.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I agree, nartyteek . My Katie was diagnosed as having only two weeks left. I waited too long and she died of heart failure in my lap on the way to get her euthanised. At least she was unconscious, but I would never take that chance again.

caramelandmisty I'm so sorry for what you and your darling girl are going through.

 

[caramelandmisty]

Sounds like things are going okay at the moment, but I'll be blunt about my philosophy. I always regret when I have waited too long, and times when I've chosen to go in "a bit soon" I treasure. I will feel sad about that potential missed time for a bit, but planning things out and doing it when the animal is not at their absolute worst makes for some charming memories that comfort me in my darker moments of mourning. I regret every emergency euthanasia, and it's my goal to avoid them ever again if I can. It really, really sucks if you've never done it. If you get a plan ready now for when things get worse, you can make a lovely day of saying goodbye.

I found out one of my cats was dying of cancer during a dental procedure not so long ago, and saying goodbye was a lovely day for us. I held her so close when she was drugged up lol. I'm glad I got to say goodbye. It was gonna be hard to do no matter what, but I think I made an okay choice of what I had to choose from.

Thank you for your kind words of wisdom.
I am thinking we should do it soon

I'm so sorry this is happening to your beautiful Caramel. Having recently lost my Ruby girl, I know how hard it is to lose them. One thing I will suggest is making sure you know the location of a 24 hour ER vet, because even when they are stable, things can suddenly change. Sending love to you and Caramel.

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I'm going back and forth about this. I don't want her to suffer. The doctor said she has about a week to live. Should I make an appt for Tuesday to put her down or wait? I'm so upset I don't know what to do.

 

[caramelandmisty]

I agree, nartyteek . My Katie was diagnosed as having only two weeks left. I waited too long and she died of heart failure in my lap on the way to get her euthanised. At least she was unconscious, but I would never take that chance again.

caramelandmisty I'm so sorry for what you and your darling girl are going through.

Thank you. The doctor gave Cari a week. I'm so very upset. She is my love.

 

[caramelandmisty]

I agree, nartyteek . My Katie was diagnosed as having only two weeks left. I waited too long and she died of heart failure in my lap on the way to get her euthanised. At least she was unconscious, but I would never take that chance again.

caramelandmisty I'm so sorry for what you and your darling girl are going through.

How long did you wait?

 

[SofiesMumma]

My heart just breaks for you! What a sweet girl!!! Only you can make the choice of when, but I really feel like we truly do know when it is time. I am not a vet, but I will share my story.

Our sweetest baby girl ever, Lilyth, not a bad bone in her body, so beautiful and loving, crossed the rainbow bridge on Dec 2nd of 2023. A few weeks before that she didn't eat great, we went out to dinner with friends, thinking she would eat soon after we left as she was food driven. She didn't. Found her crouched with rapid breathing, rushed to 24hr ER. They tapped her chest and pulled out fluid that did not look consistent with cancer, but suggested we test it and hope the fluid doesn't come back. It came back about a week later. We found a diff 24hr ER a bit further away, but better equipped. They put a drain in her and kept her overnight. The results came in while she was still inpatient. Lymphoma. They scanned her and found 2 tumors, 1 in her throat area and one in the belly. And they said it was likely just all through her blood at this point. We opted to take her home on palliative care, we thought for her specifically she was just too lovely to put through excessive chemo treatments for MAYBE an extra couple months. But that 2nd trip gave us another week or so. Lilyth was such a sweet girl and adored every stranger, so having her go to the hospitals and staying overnight was something we felt would be fair to her, but didn't want to push beyond that. We kept a close eye on her breath rate, and a night came that it would not go under 40. That morning, still around 40 and going up. We asked her if it was time, she absolutely winked at Dad. Then laid by her brush to be groomed. We called a local vet (who is now our PCP vet) who makes house calls and the sweetest woman arrived at 4pm. Lilyth said hello with love, took a few more licks of baby food, and since it was time to say goodbye and we didn't have to worry about over working her, we let her play with her beloved laser. She then walked up onto her fav bed, and sat so pretty and dignified. Ready. We all knew it was time and by having the knowledge that it would happen soon, we as furr parents could plan and get ahead of things. And her passing was the most peaceful passing ever.

We lost our boy Oscar Dec 6th 2021, and it was more emergent. I am so grateful Lilyth had such a peaceful passing. I regret not knowing what I know now and not being able to give that to Oscar. It is not easy no matter what, but having been thru both emergency at the clinic and peaceful planned at home, I can say the later is the way to go. We kept a journal, checked breath rates and counted calories, water trips and bathroom trips, and were able to quickly decide before things got out of hand.

My heart is with you. Lilyth and Oscar will love having a new playmate over the rainbow bridge, and you will heal. It is extremely heart breaking and exhausting emotionally. I cried for days and days, couldn't eat, had trouble sleeping. Eventually you find a peace and sleep through a night, you eat a meal. You will still cry 6 months later, 2 years later, but it will not be everyday forever. You will keep remembering sweet times and filling your heart with those. Our furr babies never leave holes, they take parts, and eventually those parts are memories, but it is always love and they will always stay with you in your heart. They take that part and keep it inside you forever! We are here for you and you WILL do the right thing no matter what happens. What you decide, will be the best.

 

[iPappy]

caramelandmisty she is absolutely beautiful, and just IMO in the photos you posted she looks to be a bright eyed happy little girl.
I have, in the past, made "appointments" like that for a week out, then, called the morning of to cancel. My vets have always been very understanding of this, as this is a different and slightly unique scenario.
I do agree with knowing the number and location of the nearest ER vet. Not just for her, but, if anything should happen with any cat, any time, the last thing you want to do is to frantically have to google or look up phone numbers or map addresses when you're already stressed.
SofiesMumma that was such a sweet post, I'm so sorry for your losses.

 

[neely]

The doctor gave Cari a week. I'm so very upset. She is my love.

My heartfelt sympathies go out to you. There must be something in the water since we also lost our precious boy last Saturday. I'm still trying to process everything but know that we did what was best for him, not us. He had end stage kidney disease and a degenerative spine. Once he stopped eating in spite of fluids, pain meds, an appetite stimulant and anti-nausea shot I told my husband we have to make the decision for him. It was painful to watch him try to sit in a comfortable position especially when his back legs started to splay out.

We are here for support. I'll be thinking of you and sending special thoughts to Cari.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

How long did you wait?

I don’t remember the timing, but I was at work and my mum rang and said Katie was walking around crying. I came straight home (a ninety minute trip by train) and when I arrived she was unconscious and in distress. It was within the two weeks predicted.

 

[silent meowlook]

Hi. Your Cari looks fabulous in the pictures you posted.
I may have worked at that hospital in LosGatos, CA. It would have been in 1985 or 86, I think. So, I am sure the ownership has changed since then.

This is super important to understand. Cats don’t follow any rules. They don’t have an expiration date and veterinarians have no idea how long they will live. Veterinarians will guess using their personal experiences, or from some of the very limited studies on cats that are out there. In these studies, it is usually a very small study group of cats. Cats don’t read medical books and are known to completely disregard any sort of grouping their conditions into a set timeline. Ignore anyone who tells you your cat has xyz amount of time left.

Your cat looks good in the photos, but of course with photos, it is just capturing a moment in time and there is no way of knowing how your cat is doing in general from a photo. All I can say is in the photos you have posted, in those moments in time, to me, your cat does not appear, to me, to be in pain or struggling.

The only one who truly knows your cat is you. You are the one who needs to decide when to end your cat’s suffering, if and when it gets to that point. I truly believe you will know when she is suffering.

I think you might want to consult an oncologist or an internal medicine specialist, just to be sure that your vet is on the right tract with what they have diagnosed. Although if they sent biopsies in, you should have an accurate idea of what is going on.

Did the veterinarian remove the entire chain of mammaries?

 

[caramelandmisty]

My heartfelt sympathies go out to you. There must be something in the water since we also lost our precious boy last Saturday. I'm still trying to process everything but know that we did what was best for him, not us. He had end stage kidney disease and a degenerative spine. Once he stopped eating in spite of fluids, pain meds, an appetite stimulant and anti-nausea shot I told my husband we have to make the decision for him. It was painful to watch him try to sit in a comfortable position especially when his back legs started to splay out.

We are here for support. I'll be thinking of you and sending special thoughts to Cari.

Thank you so much

 

[caramelandmisty]

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. Cari passed away Wed, July 31 on the way to the vet. I'm so heartbroken I can't stop crying still. I miss her so much. I'm so so sad and

I am having a very tough time letting my cat go. she was diagnosed with kitty breast cancer and we found out today through xrays that she is at the point of having fluid in her lungs and stomach. I'm having a very difficult time deciding on when to put her down. Some days are great and others are bad. I cant stop crying and don't want to let her go but I don't want her to suffer. She's eating and drinking and going to the restroom but she seems uncomfortable sleeping and is restless. I really feel she will let me know when it's time. What are your thoughts?

hi everyone, I'm writing to let you know Cari passed Wed afternoon on the way to the vet. Thank you all so much for your help through this difficult time. I've never had to deal with this before but have had so many deaths in my family the past five years, I feel this one has just pushed me to the edge. Cari was my kitty. She was with me every single day. She was my work buddy who sat by me while I worked from home and was always by my side everywhere I went. I'm still upset and can't stop crying. I'm trying to let it all out but it doesn't seem to want to stop.

 

[caramelandmisty]

 

[caramelandmisty]

Cari's health deteriorated within a matter of days. Monday she started to become a bit more uncomfortable then Tues she started getting to point which she didn't want to get her morning sun. Then Tues night she started to get worse so I sat up with her through the night. When I woke up at 7 am Wednesday my husband was sitting with her outside. He said she was just sitting not wanting to do anything. I tried giving her meds, but she was not having it. Then I knew it was time. We got her in her carry on and started to the vet. She started having seizures at the desk when checking her in. We got her in the room and she had passed. My heart hurts so much. I can't bear the thought of being without her.

All, thank you again for everyone's stories and thoughts. It helped me tremendously. I still have a long way to go but I know Cari is better now and no longer suffering.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I am so sorry about Cari.
I just lost Feeby, my cat of 20+ years. It will be two weeks ago tomorrow. She and I were together every day of her life, and we established a true buddy relationship. She too experienced some sort of seizure before she passed as we were on our way to the ER vet - not to save her but to stop her suffering.
You just have to let sorrow, grief, remorse take its course. It will take a long time and it will be hard.

I won't say the common things, like it will get easier and to think of the good times when you are down - you will do those things in due time. What I will say, is that I truly know how you feel and what you are going through, and all you can do is let it happen.

 

[caramelandmisty]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Most people think I'm crazy for being so upset but I honestly can't help it. I miss her so much. Thank you thank you thank you.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Most people think I'm crazy for being so upset but I honestly can't help it.

Well, if our love for our cats is being crazy, then I am crazy and proud of it. Screw those who don't feel that way. My life was Feeby, as yours was Cari.

 

[neely]

Most people think I'm crazy for being so upset but I honestly can't help it. I miss her so much.

If you're crazy then I'm a raving lunatic especially since we lost our cat almost three weeks ago and I still tear up. I think it's coldhearted and abnormal to not have feelings for a furry family member. You're in good company here, we truly understand what you're going through.

 

[caramelandmisty]

Hi. I am so sorry about Cari.
I just lost Feeby, my cat of 20+ years. It will be two weeks ago tomorrow. She and I were together every day of her life, and we established a true buddy relationship. She too experienced some sort of seizure before she passed as we were on our way to the ER vet - not to save her but to stop her suffering.
You just have to let sorrow, grief, remorse take its course. It will take a long time and it will be hard.

I won't say the common things, like it will get easier and to think of the good times when you are down - you will do those things in due time. What I will say, is that I truly know how you feel and what you are going through, and all you can do is let it happen.

I'm so sorry about Feeby's passing. I hope you are doing a little better and coping.

 

[Stormy accepts you]

I’m so sorry, sweetie.. She loves you, and all she will remember is love. Know that she will still watch over you from the other side. She won’t allow harm to befall you. Her spirit will still keep you safe, I promise.