My little Pumpkin died today

[dianajune]

Good going,hopefully youll hear from the other shelter soon.

We'll talk later when you come back

I got back a short time ago. It was a long trip but I needed a break. The weather is very nice. Pumpkin would have loved it.

The other shelter didn't call back yet. I think I will follow up with an email. They closed just a few minutes ago.

I found that during the past week (esp. the first couple of days after Pumpkin died) I would go down the hall to take out trash or do laundry or whatever and then think "Pumpkin's meds are almost due" or "I need to make sure he won't sneak out." it still feels like he's here. Coming back to an empty home, not seeing my little baby just kills me.

 

[IzzysfureverMom]

You did the right thing. I am sorry for your loss, it is not the fun part of being owned by these wonderful animals. At least we can end their suffering. I am sure you did everything you could. Give yourself time to grieve, eventually you will find peace in happy memories of Pumpkin. Take care of yourself.

 

[iPappy]

I got back a short time ago. It was a long trip but I needed a break. The weather is very nice. Pumpkin would have loved it.

The other shelter didn't call back yet. I think I will follow up with an email. They closed just a few minutes ago.

I found that during the past week (esp. the first couple of days after Pumpkin died) I would go down the hall to take out trash or do laundry or whatever and then think "Pumpkin's meds are almost due" or "I need to make sure he won't sneak out." it still feels like he's here. Coming back to an empty home, not seeing my little baby just kills me.

I lost a 15 year old cat I'd raised from a baby in January. I have his litter mate sister, who just turned 16. So many times, she walks into the room and I do a double take because they looked almost exactly alike and I think it's him.
It sounds crazy, but I still talk to their urns. I keep them together in a quiet room, and when I go in there I'll say "hello my darlings", and as I do whatever it is I'm in there to do, I tell them a bit about my day and tell them I hope they're waiting for me to join them some day. I tell them to wait for me, and I will be home with them soon. I don't know why, but, it really does help.
I hope you're doing well tonight. Sending you tons of hugs.

 

[Kwik]

Hi Diana
I do the same thing as iPappy -none of my cats are orange like Cheech was ( btw,Cheechs Moms name was Pumpkin) but like you I have a memorial photo up snd I talk to him everyday..... I often expect to see him when I hear someone go through the cat flap- clunk clunk but not my boy......

I hope your sleeping right now,it's 4in the morning - but if your not you've got company,lol

 

[dianajune]

You did the right thing. I am sorry for your loss, it is not the fun part of being owned by these wonderful animals. At least we can end their suffering. I am sure you did everything you could. Give yourself time to grieve, eventually you will find peace in happy memories of Pumpkin. Take care of yourself.

Thank you!

 

[dianajune]

I lost a 15 year old cat I'd raised from a baby in January. I have his litter mate sister, who just turned 16. So many times, she walks into the room and I do a double take because they looked almost exactly alike and I think it's him.
It sounds crazy, but I still talk to their urns. I keep them together in a quiet room, and when I go in there I'll say "hello my darlings", and as I do whatever it is I'm in there to do, I tell them a bit about my day and tell them I hope they're waiting for me to join them some day. I tell them to wait for me, and I will be home with them soon. I don't know why, but, it really does help.
I hope you're doing well tonight. Sending you tons of hugs.

Thank you! I do the exact same thing. I will talk to his urn. I change the water in the vase for the flowers that Chewy sent me. His tribute area on that windowsill, which happened to be one of his favorite places in our apartment, is getting cluttered! There's his picture from our old apartment. His urn & paw prints. The giant tiger toy near his urn (this represents me watching over him) and three sympathy cards. One was from a friend who lives upstairs. Another one is from the rental office here. And the third I just got yesterday from the vet who did his heart tests.

 

[dianajune]

Hi Diana
I do the same thing as iPappy -none of my cats are orange like Cheech was ( btw,Cheechs Moms name was Pumpkin) but like you I have a memorial photo up snd I talk to him everyday..... I often expect to see him when I hear someone go through the cat flap- clunk clunk but not my boy......

I hope your sleeping right now,it's 4in the morning - but if your not you've got company,lol
View attachment 475577

I was up until about 3:30 or so. Then I had to go back to bed. Before Pumpkin died I started sleeping in shifts. I oftentimes take a nap for at least 3-4 hours, then get up and when Pumpkin was alive I'd do his late evening chores. Have supper and go back to bed. Altogether I had about 8 hours of sleep but I want to do it all in one stretch instead of here and there.

I will try to get out today for a little while. I don't really feel like it but staying cooped up will make me feel worse.

Still no word from that other shelter. I will give them a call. They close about 12 noon on Saturdays.

Thank you!

 

[Kwik]

I'm glad you are making yourself get out -it's soooo much better than staying in,glad the weather is good too

You'll sleep longer in time,at least you are getting some sleep now- any sleep is better than none!

That was very sweet of your neighbor ( the one you were close to before ,right?) And the Vet- you have a really nice rental office too,that was a surprise- they must think alot of you

 

[dianajune]

I'm glad you are making yourself get out -it's soooo much better than staying in,glad the weather is good too

You'll sleep longer in time,at least you are getting some sleep now- any sleep is better than none!

That was very sweet of your neighbor ( the one you were close to before ,right?) And the Vet- you have a really nice rental office too,that was a surprise- they must think alot of you


View attachment 475595

You're right. Some sleep is better than none.

I got sidetracked with computer stuff, inc. Twitter, so I decided to wait awhile before I go out. Bus service on weekends is very limited so I'm charging my mobility scooter and will take it out later.

The card from my neighbor is from someone upstairs, not the one next door to me on the first floor that's been ghosting me.

I was surprised that the rental office did this. It was signed by all the staff including the property manager, her assistant, maintenance guys etc. They are very good to me.

It's mostly cloudy out but at least rain isn't in the forecast like it is for tomorrow..

Thank you!

 

[Kwik]

Same here in Florida with public trans- terrible on the weekends
It's just wonderful that the entire staff did that- you are obviously very well liked- so sweet of them all oh,not the ghost neighbor,I thought for a minute it was her....mmm

Hope you were able to get out after all when you charged up-how far can you get on a single charge?

 

[dianajune]

Same here in Florida with public trans- terrible on the weekends
It's just wonderful that the entire staff did that- you are obviously very well liked- so sweet of them all oh,not the ghost neighbor,I thought for a minute it was her....mmm

Hope you were able to get out after all when you charged up-how far can you get on a single charge?

I changed my mind about going out. I went online to figure out how far a store was from here that I wanted to go to and it looks like it's too far,. My scooter used to take me around town and then some and the battery meter didn't drop much but lately it hasn't been holding a charge for very long. It needs new batteries.

It's just as well. I'm getting really depressed again so I will go back to bed, Maybe I can sleep this off.

Sorry to be so negative. I know I'm not alone and many others have had the same exact loss as me but this is getting harder for me to take.

Thanks for listening! <hugs>

 

[Stormy accepts you]

I am very sorry to have to tell you that my little baby crossed over the rainbow bridge today. I took him to the vet because he just wasn't acting right even after he had a massive poop a couple of days ago. I nearly cancelled today's appt but thought better of it.

When I took him in they did xrays and an ultrasound and they found fluid around his lungs and abdomen. This explains his weight gain. From his last appt a couple of months ago to today, Pumpkin gained one pound. That is a huge weight gain for a cat in such a short period of time. He was diagnosed with a heart rhythm problem just a few months ago and this wasn't an issue then. Pumpkin's vet said these things can happen rather quickly, especially with an elderly cat.

I promised Pumpkin many times whenever he had flare-ups of his tummy issues that I never would have him put down but today I had no choice, I could have brought him home today with meds to make him as comfortable as possible but he was towards the end of his life. I would have prolonged his suffering if I brought him home,

I can't tell you how hard this was to do. When they gave him the sedative, it stung (the vet warned it might do that) and he wasn't very happy. Once the sedative took effect she did the other shot and he died in less than a minute. I was holding him in my arms when he passed away,

There's a giant hole in my heart and right now it feels like that hole will never heal. I am devastated. I loved my little boy with all of my heart. I hope he understood that, even as he passed away in my arms. He will be cremated and the vet will bring his ashes to my home, probably early next week.

I don't know how I am going to get through this. He was all I had.

Honey, trust me- all he remembers is love. He’s watching over you. When you’re ready for a new friend, he’ll help you choose. He will guard you, always. He’s at peace now. No more pain. Thank you for your bravery.

 

[Stormy accepts you]

I changed my mind about going out. I went online to figure out how far a store was from here that I wanted to go to and it looks like it's too far,. My scooter used to take me around town and then some and the battery meter didn't drop much but lately it hasn't been holding a charge for very long. It needs new batteries.

It's just as well. I'm getting really depressed again so I will go back to bed, Maybe I can sleep this off.

Sorry to be so negative. I know I'm not alone and many others have had the same exact loss as me but this is getting harder for me to take.

Thanks for listening! <hugs>

Doordash delivers groceries. You’re not being negative, love. You’re going through something hard. It’s okay to not be okay. The world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows, which means you don’t have to be either. People underestimate how hard it is to lose a pet. But grief is still grief, because love is still love. Take your time. We’re absolutely here for you.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

It feels like my pain will never go away.

Sadly, it does not. What does change is that this raw, tearing grief will subside into a dull ache with time, and there will be periods when you can actually ignore it.

It sounds crazy, but I still talk to their urns.

As do it. I always tell Hek, "Goodnight, baby girl. I love you" as I head to bed. Every night. And always will.

As for groceries, IF you are willing to shop through Walmart, and there is one in your town, look into Walmart +. Especially if you are on a fixed income. You may qualify for a half-price subscription, which will get grocery orders over a certain amount delivered with no additional charge. It also allows you to order other items online without a shipping charge, which can be a real boon.

 

[iPappy]

Thank you! I do the exact same thing. I will talk to his urn. I change the water in the vase for the flowers that Chewy sent me. His tribute area on that windowsill, which happened to be one of his favorite places in our apartment, is getting cluttered! There's his picture from our old apartment. His urn & paw prints. The giant tiger toy near his urn (this represents me watching over him) and three sympathy cards. One was from a friend who lives upstairs. Another one is from the rental office here. And the third I just got yesterday from the vet who did his heart tests.

View attachment 475588

Oh! This is beautiful!!! And I LOVE the tiger and the significance!! All those things are in a protective circle around him, I love that.
I got flowers when my Tag passed. The thought of throwing them out eventually upset me so bad. I pressed a few, and my Mom dried the rest in the oven. He passed in the fall of 2022, and I keep those dried flowers in a mason jar next to his urn. If the thought of the flowers slowly wilting upsets you like it did me, I would really suggest drying at least some of them. I still occasionally open that jar and the beautiful scent of roses fills the room.

 

[Kwik]

I changed my mind about going out. I went online to figure out how far a store was from here that I wanted to go to and it looks like it's too far,. My scooter used to take me around town and then some and the battery meter didn't drop much but lately it hasn't been holding a charge for very long. It needs new batteries.

It's just as well. I'm getting really depressed again so I will go back to bed, Maybe I can sleep this off.

Sorry to be so negative. I know I'm not alone and many others have had the same exact loss as me but this is getting harder for me to take.

Thanks for listening! <hugs>

You're not negative- you're hurting As Stormy accepts you said- " It's okay to not be okay"

Unfortunately our hurt and loss doesn't minimize yours or make yours any better but we do understand and it's not " negativity" to any of us..... of course we are hear to listen ,we care about whst you feel,we care about you

I pray you sleep well and have sweet dreams tonight

 

[dianajune]

Doordash delivers groceries. You’re not being negative, love. You’re going through something hard. It’s okay to not be okay. The world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows, which means you don’t have to be either. People underestimate how hard it is to lose a pet. But grief is still grief, because love is still love. Take your time. We’re absolutely here for you.

Tbh, I would be reluctant to use Door Dash because I've read so many negative reviews. I've got a Walmart+ account, so I can get groceries delivered here. The store I wanted to go to this afternoon was a dollar store but it's too far from here. I'd have to take the bus.

It would be nice if life was all cupcakes and rainbows. Right now it feels like it's anything but.

Thank you! <hugs>

 

[dianajune]

Sadly, it does not. What does change is that this raw, tearing grief will subside into a dull ache with time, and there will be periods when you can actually ignore it.



As do it. I always tell Hek, "Goodnight, baby girl. I love you" as I head to bed. Every night. And always will.

As for groceries, IF you are willing to shop through Walmart, and there is one in your town, look into Walmart +. Especially if you are on a fixed income. You may qualify for a half-price subscription, which will get grocery orders over a certain amount delivered with no additional charge. It also allows you to order other items online without a shipping charge, which can be a real boon.

I love talking to his urn every day and at night just before I go to bed. For now his flowers are holding up so I change the water every night before going to bed.

I have a Walmart+ subscription and keep forgetting to show them documentation re. my income so I can get a discount. I think Amazon has a similar program for their Prime membership.

I keep asking God to let Pumpkin appear in my dreams, so I can see him again. So far it hasn't happened.

 

[dianajune]

Oh! This is beautiful!!! And I LOVE the tiger and the significance!! All those things are in a protective circle around him, I love that.
I got flowers when my Tag passed. The thought of throwing them out eventually upset me so bad. I pressed a few, and my Mom dried the rest in the oven. He passed in the fall of 2022, and I keep those dried flowers in a mason jar next to his urn. If the thought of the flowers slowly wilting upsets you like it did me, I would really suggest drying at least some of them. I still occasionally open that jar and the beautiful scent of roses fills the room.

I didn't think about that. For now the flowers are holding up pretty good. If I dry them in the oven, how high do I have to turn up the heat and for how long?
<hugs>

 

[dianajune]

You're not negative- you're hurting As Stormy accepts you said- " It's okay to not be okay"

Unfortunately our hurt and loss doesn't minimize yours or make yours any better but we do understand and it's not " negativity" to any of us..... of course we are hear to listen ,we care about whst you feel,we care about you

I pray you sleep well and have sweet dreams tonight

Thank you!

I got up a short time ago and will stay up a little while before going back to bed. I've got garbage I need to take out, so that will give me something to do. I should have taken care of it earlier but I was so tired.

My grief is literally wearing me out.

<hugs>