My little Pumpkin died today

Kwik

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I am better than I was, but guilt will always be there. I went across the street to get the mail. I knew she was out, but just saw her in the back yard. I turned around to the terrible sound of her getting hit. The car didn’t stop but my world did……
I'm so sorry,50 yrs ago my young puppy scaled the fence when he heard me getting dropped off across the street from the house,I'll never forget the sound of screeching tires and his heart wrenching cry- he ran so fast to greet me....the guilt never leaves😪

I understand ,I'm so very sorry :hugs:
 

iPappy

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I am better than I was, but guilt will always be there. I went across the street to get the mail. I knew she was out, but just saw her in the back yard. I turned around to the terrible sound of her getting hit. The car didn’t stop but my world did……
So many instances over the years, I wish I had one second I could take back and change the horrible outcome. I am so sorry. :hugs:
 
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dianajune

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I am better than I was, but guilt will always be there. I went across the street to get the mail. I knew she was out, but just saw her in the back yard. I turned around to the terrible sound of her getting hit. The car didn’t stop but my world did……
I am very sorry! <hugs>
 
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dianajune

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I hope the pain will lessen over time. I've been going over my message history here, trying to figure out where I went wrong or if I could have changed anything. I was very obsessed over keeping his tummy issues in check, probably due in part to what I went through with my strangulated hernia that nearly killed me not long before I met Pumpkin.

I was such a worry wart when his tummy issues picked up. His vet told me (I'm paraphrasing her) - and this was just after he died - that if anything, I helped prolong his life by helping him to poop. That was the one issue I was focused on, not realizing that someday something worse could pop up,which it did.

I stayed on top of Pumpkin's tummy issues but didn't even see what was going on with his heart.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I hope that Pumpkin understands that I insisted on his taking that tummy medicine because I loved him and wanted him to get better.
 

Kwik

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Of course he knew,and knows

Do you know how many people die from heart attacks each year?605,000- thsts nearly 2000 a day!!!About a third of those had no symptoms prior,a first and last

So who's to blame?There was no sign or indication thst something was wrong- what could they have done to prevent it? Nothing,one in 5 of those people were under 40 yrs of age,who would imagine?

And it doesn't even mean anything was wrong with their heart!!!Could've been a problem with their arteries

There was absolutely no way for you to have prevented losing Pumpkin
 

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My pain seems to be getting worse. I can't stop crying. There is no one else I can turn to for help (I'm not referring to here but in person.) I am scared of living alone. Pumpkin is literally all I had for over 11 years and now he is gone.

Please tell me this will get better. Please.
Please understand you did the right thing. Only time will help with the grief. But it will never go away. Your love and pumpkins love for you will always be. I still cry over my Batman he's been died for years but he was my cat love.
 
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dianajune

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Please understand you did the right thing. Only time will help with the grief. But it will never go away. Your love and pumpkins love for you will always be. I still cry over my Batman he's been died for years but he was my cat love.
I'm very sorry about your loss! <hugs>

Some days I can't seem to stop crying, other days aren't as bad. This seems to be coming in waves. I'm trying to force myself to go out as a distraction but that doesn't always work.

Thank you!
 

tiggerwillow

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I'm echoing everyone else, you did as much as you could for him, I still deeply miss my Ebony and still go down the rabbit hole of "if only I had done this, or not done that" she was my soulmate cat, stolen at the age of 7 by aggressive cancers, within a week it was all over the inside of her body, if I hadn't been trying to get her asthma back under control (vet thought it was her asthma getting seriously out of control again) she might of had a bit longer - that's the rabbit hole I end up going down, I'm saying this to prove that I do understand :alright: (she had several things wrong with her that keeping her on specific foods, and some medication, and plenty of love and care, helped her, vet thought she wouldn't survive past 2016, it was 2018 when we lose her) :alright:
 
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dianajune

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I'm echoing everyone else, you did as much as you could for him, I still deeply miss my Ebony and still go down the rabbit hole of "if only I had done this, or not done that" she was my soulmate cat, stolen at the age of 7 by aggressive cancers, within a week it was all over the inside of her body, if I hadn't been trying to get her asthma back under control (vet thought it was her asthma getting seriously out of control again) she might of had a bit longer - that's the rabbit hole I end up going down, I'm saying this to prove that I do understand :alright: (she had several things wrong with her that keeping her on specific foods, and some medication, and plenty of love and care, helped her, vet thought she wouldn't survive past 2016, it was 2018 when we lose her) :alright:
I am very sorry about your loss! <hugs>
 

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At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I hope that Pumpkin understands that I insisted on his taking that tummy medicine because I loved him and wanted him to get better.
Of course he does, and far better than you know. There is a reason that I call What Comes After, "That Place Where All Things Are Known." It is because ALL THINGS ARE KNOWN...including the depths of your love, and how hard you fought for him. He now knows those depths even more than you, yourself, do, and your grief is his only sorrow. Remember, his Love is with you still, and always will be, until you meet again in joyous reunion.
 
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dianajune

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D dianajune
Thinking of you,how are you doing? :hugs:
I have good days and bad ones. Today I had to take the bus to my eye doctor and on the way back, the driver asked me how Pumpkin was doing. She remembered taking us to one of his vet appointments a few months ago. I had to tell her that he died in April.

Once I got home, I cried my eyes out.

Still no word on the foster kitty but I was told that my application has been approved. Now I have to wait for them to find the right kitty. I hope it will be soon.

How are you doing?

<hugs>
 

Kwik

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Hangin in there- Pet Scan is Friday :dunno:

That's tough when people ask" How's Pumpkin " and you've got to go through it all over again,it's so hard

Have you thought about moving any more or put thst on hold? What's happening with all of that?
 
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dianajune

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Hangin in there- Pet Scan is Friday :dunno:

That's tough when people ask" How's Pumpkin " and you've got to go through it all over again,it's so hard

Have you thought about moving any more or put thst on hold? What's happening with all of that?
I will continue to pray for you. Please keep me posted on that scan.

I'm still thinking about moving but am not sure when. For now I will stay put and try to take care of my medical issues. Another good reason for staying put is that shelter director lives in the same town as me. If I need help with the foster kitty - which I don't have yet - I can give her a call.

It is very hot today. I got up early to take care of laundry. It was like an oven in that laundromat. Fortunately I've got an a/c at home and it's running as I speak. If Pumpkin was still alive, he'd be in the window, sometimes parked right in front of the a/c, enjoying the cool breeze. If I can find any pictures of him doing that I'll post one here.
 

Kwik

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I will continue to pray for you. Please keep me posted on that scan.

I'm still thinking about moving but am not sure when. For now I will stay put and try to take care of my medical issues. Another good reason for staying put is that shelter director lives in the same town as me. If I need help with the foster kitty - which I don't have yet - I can give her a call.

It is very hot today. I got up early to take care of laundry. It was like an oven in that laundromat. Fortunately I've got an a/c at home and it's running as I speak. If Pumpkin was still alive, he'd be in the window, sometimes parked right in front of the a/c, enjoying the cool breeze. If I can find any pictures of him doing that I'll post one here.
Thanks you Diana,appreciate your prayers:hugs:

Glad you can start getting those medical issues addressed,that's HUGE!

Would love to see your photos
 
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