My Journey Towards Better Health

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maggiedemi

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My mom is up to her antics again. She opened my mail and took my insurance card. She said that she was going to my doctor (the surgeon) office to do something about billing. I told her that she's banned and can't go there without me. So she starts screaming. This screaming can't be good for my recovery. It's illegal to open my mail. I got my card back from her.

Then my dad starts yelling at me saying that my mom has done nothing but help me and has been right by my side. What a traitor!
 

kittyluv387

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My mom is up to her antics again. She opened my mail and took my insurance card. She said that she was going to my doctor (the surgeon) office to do something about billing. I told her that she's banned and can't go there without me. So she starts screaming. This screaming can't be good for my recovery. It's illegal to open my mail. I got my card back from her.

Then my dad starts yelling at me saying that my mom has done nothing but help me and has been right by my side. What a traitor!
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Your mom sounds like she might be a narcissist. But keep setting boundaries with your parents! You should be treated as an adult.
 

Lari

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Yes, I think putting some distance between you and your parents is a good thing. If they respond well to healthy boundaries, it'll improve your relationship, and if they don't, you'll have space.
 

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Also, if you are well hydrated your veins are easier to access. So drink a lot of water. My mom has hard to find veins, so she started to drink a bottle of water before a blood draw and they started finding them easier.
Thisis because when you are dehydrated, the veins shrink-just like with dehydrated kitties their veins can be a challenge to get blood-same with humans.

Do you want me to call your social worker? Send me the number in the PM and I will call when I get back from my bike ride. I can help advocate for you since I've known you since 2015? 2016?

Also go online=look up your town office tax collectors office address and phone numbers.

You will want to apply for welfare in your town/county-this is how you start to get funds for housing/food stamps- they may direct you to community services-but my little town does pay out welfare and housing to those who qualify.

You may need the info of your dad's finances-like how much comes in monthly in his payments but make sure explain that you are in an abusive envirnonment and that the house is unsafe to live in with your medical requirements. Don't say anything about the cats yet=just get the paperwork started as theres usually a long wait time=so you want to get this started ASAP.

I can google some stuff when I get back to help you=but you have to make the 1st steps-the social worker can show you the path but you have to fill out the forms/set up appointments to meet with community partners folks.


Google emergency housing services for the county you live in and see if anything comes up.
 

verna davies

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Those that drink Ensure, or your relatives did, how many do you drink per day?
My doc wants me to drink 9oz per day. So that's one 8oz bottle plus 1oz, so I have to open another bottle? That's weird.
I think 9oz is about 250ml. My mothers doctor has her drinking 2x 200ml bottles per day which makes it about 14oz. She is 5 and half stone.
 

artiemom

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First I wanted to say, that I apologize if I was abrupt in my last post about the Ensure stuff and then my quick response to the blood drawing stuff. :paperbag:

I was in a waiting room, typing in my phone.. waiting for an appointment.. I was rushed. :oops:

It is important to stay hydrated; especially for blood draws. I am talking from my own experience, and for recovery.

I learned that from one of a lab tech who always draws my blood. We have even discovered that one arm has better veins than the other.

As for other stuff:
My mom is up to her antics again. She opened my mail and took my insurance card. She said that she was going to my doctor (the surgeon) office to do something about billing. I told her that she's banned and can't go there without me. So she starts screaming. This screaming can't be good for my recovery. It's illegal to open my mail. I got my card back from her.

Then my dad starts yelling at me saying that my mom has done nothing but help me and has been right by my side. What a traitor!
This is too too much for you to be going through. You are recovering from a very serious medical situation, not to mention the psychological stuff you have been going through. :alright:

I know it is difficult, but perhaps your case worker can find a PO Box for you.. In order to keep your mother from ever opening your mail again.. Or request any important documents to be sent, signature requested--and your signature, No One else's.

Do not give in. You have gone this far, do not stop getting control of your life.

This is a normal, "push Back" reaction, when someone, who has been treated, the way you have; begins to fight back-for control of their life.
It is to be expected from both your mother and father. They both seem to be dominating your life.

That is why you need to keep in close contact with your social worker. She can help you out, more than you even realize.

And be completely honest with any doctors, nurses, aides-- basically any person in authority, who asks you questions. And you do need to offer a glimpse into your life, in order for them to really help you..:hugs:

MaggieDemi,:rock::worship: You were are so strong.. as evident in your successfully getting your insurance card. You are so strong. :redheartpump::redheartpump::grouphug:

I am so proud of you. You have come miles.. not even baby steps.. miles.. but there are so many more to go.. Do not give up..
:hangin:

foxxycat foxxycat , :angel: and others on here believe in you. We all want to help you.. do not refuse our help/support.

She is correct in not mentioning having cats, at this point.

FYI, for the future.: Once you see your new PCP, you can ask her to write a letter stating that Maggie and Demi are your emotional support animals. Yup!! :heartshape:
This is done so often.. so there is a way around it... :heartshape:

Please remember that there IS light:sunshine: at the end of the tunnel.. You just have to be strong and fight your way to it..

All of us are supporting you in your journey towards the light...:rock:

There are possibly even social services which can get you rides, provide homecare, etc.. that you need. In fact, you may even meet the requirements now; and I do not know if your mother can Legally deny them from providing you with needed care.

You will not be alone. You are not alone now. :grouphug2:

keep in touch.. we love you..
 
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maggiedemi

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Do you want me to call your social worker? Send me the number in the PM and I will call when I get back from my bike ride. I can help advocate for you
No thank you. Things calmed down after a while and she is going to town for the day. She didn't even say anything while I was making my own lunch. My brother said that he will call her on her cell phone while she is in town today and speak to her about not yelling at me.

My dad is out mowing the lawn. I told him he's a traitor. He said that he was just trying to stop the yelling because it hurts his ears. That's why she gets away with everything though, nobody stands up to her.

I can't move out yet, I'm still healing from major abdominal surgery. I can't even sort through my stuff and carry it. Plus Demi & Maggie need vet care and vaccination updates. I still need to go to the dentist too. So I need my dad's help for a while yet. I'll just put in my earplugs if she starts on me.
 
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maggiedemi

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This is a normal, "push Back" reaction, when someone, who has been treated, the way you have; begins to fight back-for control of their life.
It is to be expected
To me it seems insane though. Thanks for all the advice. :redheartpump: I don't think she'll ever open my mail again after the fit I pitched. I told her it's illegal and she should have asked me first. :headshake:
 

artiemom

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To me it seems insane though. Thanks for all the advice. :redheartpump: I don't think she'll ever open my mail again after the fit I pitched. I told her it's illegal and she should have asked me first. :headshake:
Oh, It IS insane behavior.
It just goes to show you how crazy it is.

So glad you have your brother on your side.

I really do hope I am not offending you, with my thoughts/words. I do not mean too.

My dad is out mowing the lawn. I told him he's a traitor. He said that he was just trying to stop the yelling because it hurts his ears. That's why she gets away with everything though, nobody stands up to her.
too bad your father was not standing up for you.

I am saying all of this with love.. so please, do not take it the wrong way..
 
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maggiedemi

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I really do hope I am not offending you, with my thoughts/words. I do not mean too.
No, I'm not offended. I know my mom is crazy. Nobody ever stands up to her directly, they just try to "handle" her.

too bad your father was not standing up for you.
He is going deaf, but he is really sensitive to loud noises and screaming, and he will do anything to make it stop. I wish he would have just gone outside or something, instead of saying the words he did.
 

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Glad things have calmeed down.

Now go lay down and take a nap.

I sent you some stuff in PM and plug away for the month-just dip your toes in the links I sent you-fill the notebook with your experiences/ both good and bad...so when you look back in 3 months/6 months etc you can see patterns/and how far you have come.

I am very proud of you.

Men deal with trouble differently than we do.

They often leave the room while us ladies scream...that's why I like talking/working with men...when things heat up-they say their piece then walk away and just easier to deal with.
 
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maggiedemi

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I just called and made my own follow up doctor appointment. It wasn't too hard. I hate talking on the phone though, I wish they would do it online.
The appointment is Wed at 10:15am. Then it says I have lab work on the same day, so I guess they will tell me where to go after the appointment?
What does Lab Work 9/18 CBC + BMP mean?
 

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I just called and made my own follow up doctor appointment. It wasn't too hard. I hate talking on the phone though, I wish they would do it online.
The appointment is Wed at 10:15am. Then it says I have lab work on the same day, so I guess they will tell me where to go after the appointment?
What does Lab Work 9/18 CBC + BMP mean?
CBC-complete blood count and BMP-basic metabolic panel. Glad you got that appt.! I hate doing that stuff, too, so all the more to your credit for being brave and doing that.
 

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You are on the road to recovery. It's important to let social services know you are in an abusive living environment and your case worker can help with that. Landlords have to take your pets when ordered by a doc. You will get well and have a different kind of life where you are in charge.

:rock::hugs::rbheart:
 
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maggiedemi

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CBC-complete blood count and BMP-basic metabolic panel.
So what does that mean they are going to do to me? Take blood? :bawling: What else?

your case worker can help with that
I already told my case worker everything. My mom was being nice to me on the phone tonight, we'll see if it lasts.
 

Lari

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It's two different blood tests, but they should be able to get it in one draw.

Your doctor doesn't have MyChart, do they? I'm able to make appointments and things online, but I was already established once they switched ocer to the system, so if they do have an online system, maybe you'll get in once you see your PCP.
 
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