My Grandpa's cat is dying and he won't let me take her to the vet

[Paris Pluto]

Hey everyone,

Title says it all. My old school 84yo Grandpa won't let me take his kitty (17yo) to the vet to be put down but her quality of life is pretty bleak. She hasn't eaten in about 6 days, drinks a ton of water and poops mucous blood all over random places in the house now. My Grandparents are both telling me that I'm being cruel just for even thinking about taking her to the vet to be put to sleep. She sleeps 23 hours a day on the toilet floor and has lost so much weight. Her fur is all dirty and she's starting to smell. I don't know what to do. I'm just watching her die slowly. I feel bad for even thinking this but I was even tempted to just take her to the vet and tell my Grandpa she went off to die but that is such a betrayal on my part.

I don't know what to bloody do.

 

[Alldara]

No one can decide whether you take the cat off to be pts for you. I can only say I wouldn't blame you for that lie.

Some people do have the beliefs that pets should be able to live until death takes them like we do for people. They call that dying in dignity. I have family members who subscribe to this (I disagree, personally), though they do provide pain management to their pets while they do hospice care.

In any case, she should be seen by a vet for hospice care at least. It's cruel to have her live like this, without pain management or other palliative care.

 

[Margot Lane]

Is there any way you could get a traveling vet to visit at home? Perhaps he would hear it better from an firm voiced authority, who has more emotional distance? I know deeply what you are going through. The cat is him…sometimes being too close to a situation can make being assertive difficult.

Also, if you do find a way to give this cat a painless exit, if you can, replace the enormous gap the cat will create with something positive…visits by friends? Something creative for him (and you?) to do?

 

[neely]

It sounds like your grandparents might be in denial or maybe just old fashioned but is there any way you can explain to them she's showing signs of pain and ask if it were them would they want to suffer this way? I wouldn't even mention taking her to the vet to be put to sleep but perhaps an exam/evaluation instead. That way they would hear the news from a vet. I'm very sorry for both your grandparent's cat and you.

 

[Paris Pluto]

Thank you everyone for responding. I've booked a home vet to visit us in a few hours 🩷

 

[Alldara]

Thank you everyone for responding. I've booked a home vet to visit us in a few hours 🩷

What a lovely way to problem solve. I hope they work something out that they are comfortable with and that eases her pain

 

[Cleboy]

Please kindly share how it all went down,can’t imagine the pain she’s going through,

 

[neely]

What a lovely way to problem solve. I hope they work something out that they are comfortable with and that eases her pain

Ditto! We'll be waiting for an update and keeping the kitty in our thoughts.

 

[Margot Lane]

Feel for you. You are very brave and doing the right thing.