My Dear Samba- A Calico Beauty. Crossed Over July 20th

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
My sweet Samba was one of two siblings from the same litter I had adopted over 16 years ago. I had two of the sweetest angels I could have ever been blessed with, we named them Salsa and Samba.

Samba was the tougher one of the two...she made it clear she was the "Top cat" at home...always taking "her place" on the couch and on my bed and shooing my Salsa away...at times I thought she was a bit of a bully but I LOVED her regardless.

She was always STRONG, unapologetic, confident, and proud...qualities I admired in her. I never worried too much about Samba because Samba always took such good care of herself and if I ever forgot to feed her or she didn't get enough food, she always made sure to ask. :)

She grew to be a large 16-pound cat but when her sister Salsa died on November 4th of 2018, she stopped eating her usual dry food and looked sad and depressed. For the first time, I could see what sadness looked like in a cat. The only thing I could get her to eat was fresh canned food...she dropped down to 12 pounds...We both missed Salsa immensely, my home didn't feet complete. I felt I was missing more than half of my family when Salsa died.

Aside from her sadness and her decreased eating in November, I didn't see any physical signs of illness. I took Samba to the vet in December because I was concerned about her weight loss and the change of her eating habits. The vet said she was mourning the loss of her sister.

On Father's day,
she started vomiting every 15 minutes till there was nothing but bile and she kept vomiting this. I took her to the vet that same day. They ran tests and said she had a UTI, and x-ray results showed a nodule in her lungs, and one enlarged kidney and the significantly smaller. They also said she had a heart murmur. They sent me home with antibiotics, gave her some subQ fluids, and an anti-nausea shot and sent us on our way. I was relieved thinking it was just a UTI causing a stomach upset but concerned about her heart, and nodule in her lungs.

This is when her illness escalated. She looked in severe pain the following days and wouldn't eat or drink water. I took her to the ER when I saw her look unresponsive or maybe it was her trying to manage the pain? More fluids, more anti-nausea meds, transdermal appetite stimulants.

We continued this way for weeks, I took her to the vet 8 times and the ER twice from June 10th - July 20th, which is a lot for a cat. An ultrasound revealed thickening and loss of boundaries in the intestines, IBD or lymphoma or cancer all possibilities. The only way to know was a biopsy but she needed an echo to make sure she could tolerate the anesthesia.

After weeks of treating my poor baby with steroids, pain meds, appetite stimulants, subQ fluids, B12 shots....her health continued to decline. Over the weekend of July 12, still in pain and then limping first on her front right leg, then on her back right leg. My vet said that her illness was terminal and (she thought it was an aggressive cancer that caused affected her legs) :( Heartbroken but knew it was time to start facing the fact that she wouldn't get better. I didn't think I would be saying goodbye just 5 days later.

She was euthanized at home the morning of July 20th when her pain couldn't be masked with pain meds... I tried raising the dosage and the frequency as directed by a hospice doctor that I hired and seeing her in pain, weak, and thin was too much ....I was an emotional wreck and my baby had hung in there in pain for a month and a half, a sign of her strength...even til the end....I was finally convinced that her time had come...I still question the timing of everything...Maybe I waited too long? Maybe I prolonged her suffering? Maybe I was too late? I hope she forgives me and I hope she is free of pain, reunited with her sister Salsa...and somewhere her soul is at peace. She deserves EVERYTHING WONDERFUL...all the LOVE, all the PEACE, and all the HAPPINESS....she was such a gift and blessing to me. I am eternally grateful for this gift of Samba.

I hope she rests in peace knowing I loved her and tried to do my best.


IMG_6359.jpg IMG_6289.JPG IMG_6023.jpg B45B2C14-3482-441F-B0BD-A3B1BF9B2856.JPG 7040FF8D-8132-47A9-915E-4A83435CBCDC.JPG IMG_5786.jpg
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,582
Purraise
22,962
Location
Nebraska, USA
What a lovely tribute, as long as you have your memories, she will live on through you......
She obviously missed her sister too much to be strong any longer. Stress and shock can lower the defences and allow previously undetected ailments appear, or for new ones to deveop. I think that is what happened to your beautiful girl. Please don't take any blame or guilt on thinking you prolonged her pain, you had to try everything in your power to try to help her, and you did. It takes intent of harm to hold guilt and the only intent you had was to try to help her. Love and concern was your only intent.....
The only thing you wanted was to keep her by your side and to help her feel better. The only thing she wanted was to be with her sister once more. She loves you more then you will ever know, she and her sister shared their life journey with you for so long, and now they are together on a new journey, one that all of us will take in the future. That new path will forever parallel your own, both will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. I am certain that neither one would want you to grieve overlong, to miss out on living your life to the fullest and finding love and joy along the way.Because that is what love is, and what you would want for them if you were the first to go. They want no less. They loved life and lived it to the fullest, and want you to do the same.
These times are intensely personal for you, noone loved those babies as much as you did. Noone will know your pain as you do. But comrads in grief can empathize, because we have loved too, we can share your pain and make it a little easier to bear by letting you know you are not alone. That we have stood in your shoes. That we will be here if you need to talk. words cannot take away your pain, but they can bring comfort and tell you it will get better in time, one day at a time......
Please accept my condolences, I cry with you and send you hugs. take care of yourself.....RIP beautiful Samba. You will never be forgotten, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you both, until you meet again!
 

Leomc123

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Messages
858
Purraise
1,725
I am sorry samba pased away, she is forever without pain in gods arms and being care for by his angels in heaven. RIP samba may you look after sambalove from above to heal her broken heart until she is withyou. Poor little samba :(
 

les26

Sylvester's daddy
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 19, 2015
Messages
2,414
Purraise
4,862
Location
Emmaus, Pennsylvania
I am so sorry that you lost your little friend, the love you shared with her is very obvious, you did all that you could do and more for her, the grief has ahold of you now and is making you question everything and that is normal, you will feel a whole boatload of emotions from the grief and that is normal, you just let it out, cry all you need to as that is a wonderful way to release it, and with time you will feel better, not ever quite the same but better than you do now. You have nothing to regret, you did above and beyond what many would have done, Samba knows it and thanks you for it, she is not is pain anymore she is just fine, and when you see her again one day it will be wonderful.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
Thank you so much for these kind words di and bob! They were really comforting. I don't think anyone understands this pain except for pet lovers.

Samba and Salsa are family and they were like daughters to me.
Thank you for saying these words about guilt and regret...i hope I didn't make her sicker by causing her stress with the vet visits...I was trying to help. :(

Have a blessed day and love to you!!!!
<3 <3 <3

"She obviously missed her sister too much to be strong any longer. Stress and shock can lower the defences and allow previously undetected ailments appear, or for new ones to deveop. I think that is what happened to your beautiful girl. "
 

Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 4 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,171
Purraise
12,686
This made me cry. Such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl. In your words it was obvious how much you loved her, and still do.

Rest in peace, beautiful one. I imagine you and your sister Salsa already together now. I am sure you had missed her a lot. Don't try to get her off her heavenly couch, ya' hear? :redheartpump:

SambaLove SambaLove , I am deeply sorry for your loss. May you find consolation to the thought that your babies are together now, happily roaming around the vast expanse of heavenly blooms and greens. You loved her and gave her the best life you could ever possibly share with her and her sister.

Hang in there.
 

will2002

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Oct 12, 2018
Messages
297
Purraise
1,026
Location
Texas
From a sweet little kitten...to a grand ole lady, 16 years is such a long life for a cat. Samba was such a beautiful calico lady, and had loving, caring human and a much loved sister. She was truly a fortunate Kitty.

I have no words for times like this to ease the sadness because...there simply are none. Just know that you have come to a wonderful forum site, filled with wonderful people that love all things cat.
Many of the folks here will be able to offer words of encouragement for you. It is a good site to visit at this time.
 

Mamanyt1953

Rules my home with an iron paw
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Oct 16, 2015
Messages
31,182
Purraise
67,778
Location
North Carolina
Rest you gentle, Samba, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

We always question our decisions, but let me remind you that your decision was based, at least in part, of your knowledge of what a fighter Samba was. She would not willingly have gone gentle into that good night...she would have wanted to fight as long as possible. And so the two of you fought together, side by side, until. Just until. And when "until" came, you were with her, easing her passage from This Adventure into her Next Great Adventure. What more can you ask of yourself, after all? As for Samba, having shrugged of her heavy coat of flesh and fur that could no longer support her great heart and warrior's spirit, she now dances on sunshine with her sister in a place where eternity is but a moment. Together, they dance, awaiting the day when, in the fullness of time, you, too, shrug off your own coat of flesh and dance with them in joyous reunions.

Dance on, pretty girls, dance on!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #11

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
Rest you gentle, Samba, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.
Together, they dance, awaiting the day when, in the fullness of time, you, too, shrug off your own coat of flesh and dance with them in joyous reunions.

Dance on, pretty girls, dance on!
Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 Your message made me cry. :( It was so beautifully written and so poetic. I will cherish it and your kind words.:redheartpump:..I want to imagine her happy and pain-free...Imagining her with her sister, Salsa, dancing, running, playing...and waiting for my return, brings me comfort...I miss her soo much!!! And I know she fought for me...my strong girl...so brave and loving...

Bless your heart Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 for these beautiful words :redtongue::rbheart::rbheart::rbheart:
Sambalove

7040FF8D-8132-47A9-915E-4A83435CBCDC.JPG
 

Purr-fect

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 20, 2017
Messages
1,843
Purraise
5,563
I like Samba's face. Its very sweet and unique.

Im sorry she and Salsa have have passed. This has been a big loss for you. I would be devastated loosing both my boys in such a short time of each other.

Life will get better. It will hurt less. You will always love them.

One day at a time. Look after yourself. Eat properly, sleep, well.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #13

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
Im sorry she and Salsa have passed. This has been a big loss for you. I would be devastated losing both my boys in such a short time of each other.

Life will get better. One day at a time.
Thank you Purr-fect Purr-fect ! Losing two (ALL) of my babies within 8 months is rough...It feels surreal to have an empty home without any purring, stretching, sleeping babies around...One day at a time...Thank Purr-fect Purr-fect :redheartpump:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #14

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
Samba was such a beautiful calico lady, and had loving, caring human and a much loved sister. She was truly a fortunate Kitty.

Just know that you have come to a wonderful forum site, filled with wonderful people that love all things cat.
Thank you W will2002 Grateful for the kind cat lovers who have offered their support here...Thank you!!! :rbheart::rbheart::rbheart:
 

jefferd18

Ms. Jeff's Legacy
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
2,269
Purraise
2,067
I am so sorry about the loss of your two beloved kitties. Salsa, and Samba. What a striking pair they were, I love the patterns on their coats.

Samba sounds like quite a character, a really fun cat with a sense of humor. I know you loved her and will miss her dearly. But more importantly, she knew it too. She knew how much you appreciated her and how hard you fought for her.

Take comfort in the fact that you gave two amazing cats a wonderful life and that you will see them again.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #17

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
I imagine you and your sister Salsa already together now. I am sure you had missed her a lot. Don't try to get her off her heavenly couch, ya' hear? :redheartpump:

SambaLove SambaLove , May you find consolation to the thought that your babies are together now. You loved her and gave her the best life you could ever possibly share with her and her sister.
Thank you so much Maria Bayote Maria Bayote ! The comment about the couch made me laugh. Samba always kicked Salsa off the couch...she claimed it as her own. She was funny that way...and possibly a bit of a bully...but I loved her dearly.

I hope they do feel that I gave them a good life...sometimes I wonder what they think/thought of the life i provided for them? Were they bored? Did they like their home....Their lives seem so short lived...and it still saddens me that their lives are over. I had them when they were a wee 5 weeks old til death...It's still heartbreaking to see that they are gone...
:rbheart:
 

zed xyzed

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2015
Messages
3,786
Purraise
3,740
Location
Toronto Canada
What a beautiful girl and heartbreaking story. I hope you find comfort in knowing she knew love, and had her favourite person by her side as she crossed to the rainbow bridge. Be free from pain sweet Samba and know that you will always hold a special place in the hearts of your loving family
 

Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 4 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,171
Purraise
12,686
I hope they do feel that I gave them a good life...sometimes I wonder what they think/thought of the life i provided for them?
You did great. The love and companionship you gave and shared with them will be carried by their hearts for all eternity. And do not worry, all of us probably feel the same like you do. We always wonder if we are giving the life and love as deserving by our furry babies. Hang in there. Your girls won't like it if you are sad. Think of them as angels hovering over you and smiling on you with so much love and gratitude.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #20

SambaLove

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
28
Purraise
46
Stress and shock can lower the defences and allow previously undetected ailments appear, or for new ones to deveop. I think that is what happened to your beautiful girl. Please don't take any blame or guilt on thinking you prolonged her pain, you had to try everything in your power to try to help her, and you did. It takes intent of harm to hold guilt and the only intent you had was to try to help her. Love and concern was your only intent.....

The only thing you wanted was to keep her by your side and to help her feel better. The only thing she wanted was to be with her sister once more...

These times are intensely personal for you, no one loved those babies as much as you did. No one will know your pain as you do. But comrades in grief can empathize...
Thank you di and bob di and bob !!!

I wonder if I exacerbated her condition/illness by taking her to the vet so many times?? Do you think this caused her stress which lowered her defenses making her iller, more quickly...I still feel horrible :( about this and allowing all these vets to poke and prod while she was ill...

The last few weeks of her I took her to the vet once a week, and received 3 injections a day...I feel horrible for this and wish I could have made her life happier looking back and these last few weeks better...I tried to spoil her and make her comfortable...

I hope my poor babies are reunited and happy now...Thank you for your kind words di and bob di and bob :redheartpump::redheartpump::redheartpump: I hope they both are in a better place! :rbheart:
:redheartpump::redheartpump::redheartpump:
 
Top