My Cat Has Run Away Twice. How Can I Make Him Want To Stay?

[sevenwarlox]

I have a big, beautiful, sweet, neutered male named Tipsy. My home has a cat door, and would come and go, but always come home regularly, until we had a misunderstanding (I put flea medicine on him) and he ran away. When he was on his own he would always come and try to eat food on my porch, or even inside the house, if he thought he could get in and out without me seeing him. I recaptured him eight months later, but he kept trying to get away, and eventually did, by tearing down nailed wooden slats and breaking through two locked cat doors. Today, after another eight months, I recaptured him again. He's still extremely sweet and affectionate, but much more 'afraid' acting than before. I want so much for him to stay without having to lock him in, which would make him miserable. Any tips on how I show him that this is his home?

 

[LTS3]

Can you block off the cat door so your cat can't go outside? Do you have a yard and are allowed to build on it? A catio would give your cat outdoor time but within the safe confines of a structure.

 

[sevenwarlox]

I do have a house, and there is a porch I could use. A lot of work, though, and I'd still feel that I was locking him in.

 

[Kflowers]

If you want him to learn to trust you again, you kinda have to lock him in. If you don't he will run away. Since he's eating at your place he isn't all that good at survival. Locking him in will be a favor to him, in the long run, probably saving his life. If you can't arrange things, since he doesn't seem to be good at survival you might think about re-homing him.

 

[LTS3]

I don't think it would take too much work to turn the porch into a catio. A handyman could do it. There are also DIY catio kits you can buy. Look through this thread for ideas: Screened Patio/ Catio Ideas

 

[rubysmama]

Is Tipsy a former feral that you socialized? If so, or even if he isn't, former ferals can learn to be happy living as inside only cats.

Here's a couple TCS articles with more info that might be helpful:

The Five Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside
How To Prevent Your Cat From Darting Out The Door | TheCatSite
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats) | TheCatSite

 

[sevenwarlox]

I tried so hard. After hours of unceasing howling and tantrum, he was tearing so hard at the window where his cat door had been that he was beginning to hurt himself and I couldn't stand it. I told my boy I loved him and let him go.

 

[sevenwarlox]

It's all good advice. Trust me when I say, this was not giving in to a cat that wanted to go out. My boy was going deeper and deeper into frenzy--foaming at the mouth, even. I really hope he comes back, but he's made it clear, he's not really my cat, just a feral I am able to catch once a year or so.

 

[GreyLady]

I think you do have to lock him in until you feel your relationshi pis back to normal and he trusts you again... just spend time respecting his space and giving him treats and playing with him he will probably be fine in after a month or so

 

[rubysmama]

I really hope he comes back, but he's made it clear, he's not really my cat, just a feral I am able to catch once a year or so.

Tagging a few of our Feral "experts" who might have some thoughts/advice for you. shadowsrescue @Norachan Jcatbird

 

[Jcatbird]

I understand that you felt his panic. That’s exactly what it was. Any chance that he has taken up with a neighbor? Check that out. If not then he really needs your help. If he has taken up with someone then they need to know that he is turning up there and hungry. Find out what is going on.
As your cat,you are going to have to re earn his trust. This takes time. The flea medicine makes the fleas start to run all over and many cats hate getting that stuff applied. I try to keep them from knowing I am applying it by stroking them there first. He may think you did something to make the fleas attack. He was spooked.
It seems you have two options. I strongly suggest you keep him inside. You may need to confine him to a small room like a bathroom to keep him from hurting himself. Maybe covering windows. You will have to spend time with him. Lots of it. Just sitting on the floor with him to start. It’s like starting over again. He must learn to trust and that he is safe with you. Try feeding him something really good by hand. You can also add calming things like Feliway, the music for cats that you can find on the internet, and laying near him speaking in soft comforting tones. If you decide to put him on the porch you will need something better than screen to keep him in. Metal mesh hardware cloth would work and he can’t scratch through it. This could be less frightening for him but you will still need to devote time to earning his trust again. I really think he is just scared of what happened. This can be overcome.
You second option would be to try and earn his trust again outside. Not easy! It will take many hours of sitting outside and trying to lure him to eat near you. It is a process you go through. It takes gradual steps and while you are working on it he is at risk. Cats outside face many dangers and he is not surviving on his own if he comes to you for food. Cars, predators, humans, weather and disease are all things that end the lives of outdoor kitties. They don’t live as long as indoor kitties and they often live in fear. Would you rather for him to be in fear and alone outside with no protectors or inside where you can help him? I do know he was frantic and you worried about injuries. That is a valid concern but can be addressed.
My best suggestion is to catch him and take him straight to a vet for advice and an exam. A good vet can advise you and may even suggest something to calm him until you can start working with him again.
I’m so sorry you are going through this with him. I know it is very upsetting. Don’t give up on him. I have brought in completely wild ferals and they did become very calm and content indoor kitties. Many people here have gone through what you describe. You are not alone with this issue. I’m sure you will be getting lots more information and help from others. Hang in there. Vet check first! ( yes, I know he will be scared so call your vet now and ask for advice on how to handle him) Please keep us updated. You have my deepest appreciation for continuing to help this kitty.

 

[shadowsrescue]

You really have to be strong with this kitty. He may yowl and howl and scale the walls, but you have to stick to your guns and make him stay inside.

Can you give him a completely cat proofed room of his own. This would mean no bed in the room (or mattress flat on the floor) so he can't get under. Also blocking behind or under other furniture. Watch out for closets too. Window dressings/blinds need to be up and out of the way. All windows closed, not even a crack right now.

Feliway plug ins might help as might a calming supplement such as Composure or Zylkene. Playing soft music ( I bought some cat harp music off Amazon). Night light in the room. Cat trees or condos or cat furniture. Some toys and maybe some catnip.

Lots of visits where you sit quietly on the floor. Have you tried food rewards. Something like plain cooked chicken, bits of canned tuna, stinky canned wet food, etc... Bring some in with each visit and offer it to him. He may not eat it right away, but he can associate you with something yummy.

This process may take lots of time. You have to diligent and not let him out. I would keep him in a safe room for awhile. Eventually he will get used to living inside. I have brought inside quite a few. They move at their own pace; some quickly and some a very long time. He may test your patience, but you ahve to be strong.